Hijacked Poetry

Eli (pronounced Ellie), 26, New England.

[kragehund-est]

i put a message in my work group chat because im illnessing. and my coworker sent me the AI gen summary he received

[toastyglow]

why be radically exclusionary abt queerness when you could be radically inclusionary instead. let's inflate the numbers. let's become the majority. the sky's the limit

[toastyglow]

"we can't let just ANYONE call themselves queer!!" what are you talking about. I'm steepling my fingers and gleefully cackling every time we Get Another One and you should be too. lock in.

[cinematech]

half paying attention and the 7-11 cashier was pronouncing 12 dollars as "two elf dollars" and I kept saying "what?"

[cinematech]

6 us dollars = 1 elf dollar

[milkchuggs]

I was curious if the exchange rate has gotten worse so I did a quick search for elf inflation and

[splodedblog]

that's tough talk for someone who's chewtoy shaped

[complexpersephonecomplex]

I’ll never ever ever get over Cardan Greenbriar writing Jude “Above me is the same silvery moon that shines down on you. Looking at it makes me recall the glint of your blade pressed against my throat and other romantic moments.”

[charlesoberonn]

To have the highest incarceration per capita rate in the world, Vatican City would need to imprison 13 people.

[charlesoberonn]

[cottoncandylesbo]

squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

[the-lumpfish-queen]

[depsidase]

[kudo-i-guess]

they're divorced. they weren't even married. this isn't romantic. they're definitely not platonic. they're cinematic parallels. they are fighting the narrative. they slowly built their relationship. they rely and trust each other. they were aggressively thrown into this. they want to bite each other's head off. they kill for each other. they live for each other. they should kiss. they would put each other in a blender. they're insane. they don't even realise. they're fully aware of it.

[disgustinggf]

Where am I cumming?

to your senses hopefully

[girlballs]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive

[girlballs]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like a shining example of your country's functional healthcare system

[girlballs]

[sweating and taking notes] hey girl awesome pussy. it looks nuanced and complicated

[falseknees]

Snowed In

Patreon / False Knees Print Shop

[2andahalfcatastrophes]

I think abt the left 4 dead 2 graffiti so often. Like they really had the human condition nailed huh.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

these are tumblr posts

[geslotencirkel]

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

[sour-charity]

Tumblr constantly has gems like this where someone says something seemingly inane but it’s actually a thought we’ve all had at some point in our lives

[tessabennet]

- William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

[parkchanwoohoo]

I'm sorry to be a bitch but I have to be honest, one of the most frustrating things in the world is getting "helpful" advice about something I've already expressed awareness of because the other person didn't read/listen to what I said

Like I'll be like idk "I know apple seeds won't kill me but I'm still so paranoid about eating any lol" and someone will be like "Hey, just so you know there isn't enough cyanide in apple seeds to really harm you unless you eat an unrealistic amount. Hope this helps! :)" like I can't be mad because they're trying to be helpful but it's also like. Yeah. I know. I said so 😭

[deepinourengines]

i need a polycule of tall skinny white guys preferably like around 10 of them so i can dress them up in nice outfits and give them cute little red ribbon chokers. (hiding a bowling ball behind my back) For no real reason