People ask who I love more. It’s a stupid question. I love them all. I made a conscious choice to have every single one of these people in my life.
Chelsey, PolyFor.Us (via polylove-girls-blog)
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@elitda
People ask who I love more. It’s a stupid question. I love them all. I made a conscious choice to have every single one of these people in my life.
Chelsey, PolyFor.Us (via polylove-girls-blog)
triad relationships are not the only poly relationships please remember this 👀
On quantifing love
Often when people ask me about being in a poly relationship and I have more than one partner I will get the loaded question;
“But which one do you love MORE”?
Now this question is incorrect on many levels but I am not going to talk about that… No. I am going to talk about the concept of quantifying love on levels of ‘less or more’.
In our culture so many subjects of cinema, literature, music, etc are focused on finding “the one” or being in relationships. ‘who is so-in-so dating now’? ‘will such-n-such get back with whats-her-name after she did that thing’? “have you heard Taylor Swift’s new love song? It speaks to my SOUL”
It often seems like in all of these mediums we are told that there is only one person who is the one person that we love more than anyone else.
But I don’t see it that way.
Ask a happily married mother who is extremely close with her twin sister, who she loves more, her husband, her child, or her sister? odds are she could not tell you. She probably could not imagine her life without any of these people! She loves them all but DIFFERENTLY. The love she feels for her husband is extremely different from the love she feels for her sister which is also different from the love for her child. This is a fact that we as a society acknowledge.
However when talking about romantic partners society tends to get a little squeamish on the subject. I ask you now to think of all of your past partners. Where they all the same? Was every relationship cookie cutter? When you fell in love did it feel exactly the same each and every time? Chances are you answered ‘no’.
This is how poly people love. They acknowledge the differences in people and in their relationships. They understand that EVERY relationship is different. They love each person they are involved with exactly how they can only love them. Every relationship is like a unique love snowflake.
Even if I have a primary hierarchy dynamic (like I have now). I would still not feel quite right telling someone else that I love MT MORE than my other partners I just love him differently. I love him in a way that tells me that I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side. I love another partner I am with in a way that says that I want him in my life for as long as it lasts. I love the time we spend together and value it completely differently from my time with MT. We connect on different levels and we function in a different capacity but i do not love him LESS.
To quantify something as more or less you have to be able to have a constant variable. Love is not constant. it is fluid and ever-changing and cannot be constrained by the simple box of “less and more”.
So a better question could be “what is your dynamic like with each partner?” or “tell me what makes your relationships special”.
A partner is not a child. You can’t “let” or “not let” another adult do something unless it involves your own boundaries. Polyamorous people don’t “let” their partners have other partners; they agree, together, that they’d like to be in an open relationship. Likewise, monogamous couples can mutually decide that monogamy is best for them. It shouldn’t be a matter of one person not “letting” the other have the types of relationships they want in their life, although compromises can obviously happen. If a couple cannot agree on whether or not their relationship should be open, it may be best for them to part ways rather than treat monogamy as a default that never needs to be discussed.
15 Comments Polyamorous People Are Tired of Getting — Everyday Feminism (via brutereason)
What I Say: I'm not interested in monogamy.
What People Hear: I love to sin and disappoint my mother
if polyamory were normal
“So, wait - you only date one person at a time, on purpose? Okay. But - FOREVER?! On purpose? You both talk about it and agree to that? You both WANT that? Is this - I think I saw this on TV one time. Is this, like, part of a religious sect?” “Rhonda, I just realized - I don’t think I’ve seen your husband out with another woman for, gosh, it must be years now. Is everything ok with him?” “Aren’t you worried you’ll become totally codependent and wrapped up in each other and not be able to put energy into other important relationships in your life, like close friends and family?” “Monogamy, huh? Kinky.” “Want me to set you two up? … oh, my bad. I don’t know a lot of monogamous people. How does that work, anyway?” “So you never date anyone else? Ever? Do you at least have sex with other people? … wow. I could never do that.”
In order: A* and I. DA and I. CoCo and I. ❤️❤️❤️
wow they are very cute. all of you.
Ugh I know right? I'm super lucky!
Anyone know why I post and hashtag but then my post isn't under that tag???
In order: A* and I. DA and I. CoCo and I. ❤️❤️❤️
Guyssss!!! Look at my new shirt :)
Communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal, is simply getting everything out.
(via
piiss
)
I agree
(via apocalyptic-bliss)
Quick update
So, quickly updating. First I'd like to say I'm sorry for never updating and being so busy 😩😩 I'm trying to balance work, my relationships, upcoming opportunities, and I'm also spending a lot of time finding myself as my own person outside of my relationships. Relationships: A* and I are doing very well. Problems come and go but we continue to work and fix them. We went to LA a couple of weeks ago for a dance competition. His person of interest was there as well, and it didn't end so well. Mostly because this person is kind of a dick... Or a total dick. Whatever. Anyway, I felt sorry for him. Being let down by someone you've been into for a while always sucks. Da and I are still seeing each other as well. He's gotten much better about communicating his needs and wants and just expressing himself in general. We're building on what we have. I think he's falling in love with me and I'm not quite there yet. Which always tends to make people feel unwanted... Hopefully things continue to go smoothly. I definitely see his effort though and enjoy my time with him. Recently CoCo and I started talking/seeing each other again. We've always maintained a friendship, but we brought it back to the next level again. I've always cared about her, that doesn't change or stop regardless of our relationship status. But we've agreed to take it really slow, let go of any titles, and just enjoy each other for what it is. Works with me 😁 Life stuff: About a month or so ago I applied to a porn website (something I have been thinking about getting into for a while). This morning I received an email back from them! Very exciting. Hopefully things will work as planned. I'm nervous and a little shy but staying positive. I know I say this a lot, but I will try to post more often. Bare with me everyone lol and keep posting because I love signing on and seeing all of these wonderful posts about love and happiness.
poly problem:
too many damn horoscopes to check
It isn’t really sharing. It’s not like I’m a toy in a playroom. It’s almost like a journal. There are dividers for each of my partners. Each one can write what they like and if they ask they can read other parts in the journal. Polyamory is about honest, open, and bold communication. I am writing love stories with many people at once. I am not being shared. If anything I am only sharing experience with whatever partner I am with.
Explaining my experience with polyamory (via queerzen)
Poly Thought For the Day
Polyamory is not “permission to cheat.”
Polyamory is “freedom to pursue and shape multiple ethical relationships in whatever way works best for everyone involved.”
This is important.
Shoutout to all the non-triad type polyamorous relationships out there, your relationship is awesome and need more representation! <3
What it’s like to be polyamorous
“Dude, you have a girlfriend” yes thank you i am aware
“Wow I’d be way too jealous to do that” ???that’s the point??? you aren’t polyam so its just not who you are ????
“so like do you have a lot of orgies” yes. all the time. its all i do. find as many people to fuck as possible. thats all there is. 24/7 orgies
“you can’t flirt with him/her/them!11!! what about your girlfriend?!???!??/” you really don’t understand this whole multiple person thing
“you told your girlfriend that that persons hot!! that’s so weird!!!! don’t you get jealous???” sigh
“so you can never cheat on your girlfriend, right?” the point of being in a polyam relationship is CONSENT YOU FUCKNUGGET JESUS