Elsie Blu

"All the beauty in the world was made within the oppressive limitations of time, and death, and impermenance." -WTNV 35 She/Her, unapologetically trans, professional mini painter, aspiring writer, certified sword lesbian.

[elsieblu]

I've grown tired of not actually owning the media I pay for. Over the last few years that's pushed me toward buying DVDs and physical books again instead of relying entirely on digital services.

More recently, I discovered digital audio players (DAPs), which promptly sent me down a three-day AuDHD hyperfocus rabbit hole. I learned how to organize a FLAC library, compared budget players, and eventually settled on the HiBy R1.

I've been surprised by how much I enjoy it. (Though, I shouldn't be, I grew up in the age of CD players, MP3 players, and so on. Yes I'm ancient.)

I own my music now instead of renting access to it. I have a device that isn't constantly harvesting my data to feed advertising algorithms. It's dedicated to one thing—listening to music—without competing for my attention every few minutes. And perhaps most importantly, it has physical buttons!! Yes, this model has a touchscreen too, but I can still skip tracks, pause, and restart songs without tapping on a sheet of glass.

Along the same lines, my mom gave me her old DSLR. I'm planning to learn how to use it properly, and I think it fits into the same philosophy.

I really think there is value in a little friction.

Modern smartphones have made nearly everything instantaneous, and while that is undeniably convenient, it also makes many experiences feel strangely disposable. We rarely build music libraries anymore; instead we stream and mindlessly add songs to our "liked songs" playlists. We rarely spend time composing a photograph; we point, tap, and move on. Even entertainment has become something we consume almost automatically with algorithms telling you what short form content to watch next.

When every experience is optimized to remove effort, it can also remove intention.

I'm not arguing against technology, mind you. Technology has made extraordinary things possible. My concern is with how much of it has been designed to maximize engagement, collect data, and monetize attention rather than enrich the experience itself.

Owning the things I care about, using devices built for a specific purpose, and accepting a little more friction in the process has made those experiences feel more deliberate. Ironically, by asking a little more of me, these older or more specialized technologies have made me appreciate them more.

I don't think the solution is necessarily abandoning technology. I think the solution is building a healthier relationship with it; one where we choose how we engage with our devices instead of allowing them to choose for us.

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Calling the big guy donion rings

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Some WIP of my Tyberos

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My sister sent us a video of her cat, Kingsley, making biscuits, and I couldn't help but make this.

[elsieblu]

As a deeply kinky and queer trans woman, I have often been told that The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a film I should appreciate. It is routinely described as a cornerstone of queer culture, a landmark of LGBTQIA+ representation, and a celebration of freedom from restrictive social norms. Yet the more I engage with the film and its legacy, the less I understand why it continues to receive such uncritical praise.

I don't deny that Rocky Horror was provocative in 1975. At a time when queer visibility in mainstream media was exceptionally limited, a film that openly embraced sexual nonconformity and challenged conventional ideas about gender was unusual and, for many viewers, liberating. Historical significance, however, should not exempt a work from criticism. If anything, culturally influential works deserve greater scrutiny, not less.

One of my core problems with Rocky Horror is the way it is frequently discussed as trans representation despite containing themes and portrayals that many trans women would recognize as deeply familiar forms of transmisogyny.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter is often celebrated as a queer icon. Depending on who is interpreting the film, Frank is described as a drag queen, a transvestite, a transgender figure, a nonbinary character, or simply someone beyond modern categories altogether. Yet regardless of which label is applied, Frank embodies many of the same stereotypes that have historically been weaponized against transfeminine people.

Frank is deceptive. Frank is sexually aggressive. Frank disregards consent. Frank manipulates others for personal gratification. Frank infiltrates spaces where they are not expected to be and uses disguise and deception to obtain sexual access to others. These are character traits central to the plot.

The film's treatment of consent further intensifies these concerns. Frank deceives both Brad and Janet into sexual encounters by disguising themselves as the other partner. These encounters are framed as comedic, liberating, and transformative. Contemporary audiences are often encouraged to interpret them as expressions of sexual freedom.

Consent requires knowledge and agency. The fact that these encounters are presented humorously does not erase the deception at their core. When audiences excuse these actions because Frank is charismatic, transgressive, or queer, they create a troubling double standard. Behaviors that would be condemned in most other contexts become acceptable because they are wrapped in camp aesthetics and cultural nostalgia.

As a trans woman living in a society that routinely accuses trans people of deception, predation, and sexual threat, I find it difficult to view this portrayal as harmless. For decades, anti-trans rhetoric has centered on the claim that transfeminine people and trans women are men disguising themselves as women in order to gain access to others. It is the logic behind bathroom panic campaigns, anti-trans legislation, and countless acts of discrimination and violence. Watching a character coded through gender nonconformity embody those exact fears does not feel subversive. It feels disturbingly familiar.

Defenders of the film often argue that Frank is not meant to represent trans women. In a strictly technical sense, they ~may~ be correct. The film emerged from a cultural context in which drag, cross-dressing, gender nonconformity, and transgender identity were frequently conflated. Frank is not a straightforward depiction of a trans woman.

The problem is that culture rarely operates according to technical distinctions. Audiences do not always separate drag performers, cross-dressers, transfeminine people, and trans women as neatly as academics do. Historically, society has often lumped all gender-nonconforming people together and projected the same fears onto all of them. Whether intended or not, Frank now colloquially exists within that history.

This becomes especially troubling when the film is promoted to modern trans audiences as empowering representation. I do not see empowerment in a character whose gender nonconformity is intertwined with predatory behavior. I do not see liberation in a portrayal that echoes stereotypes still used against my community today.

What frustrates me more is the tendency to treat criticism of Rocky Horror as a rejection of queer history. It isn't. Understanding the role a work played in the past does not require celebrating every aspect of it in the present. Queer communities have spent decades asking mainstream society to engage critically with its cultural icons. We should be willing to do the same with our own.

For me, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is best understood as a historical artifact rather than a timeless masterpiece. It reflects the limitations, assumptions, and contradictions of the era that produced it. While it may have challenged some forms of social conservatism at the time, it also perpetuated ideas about gender nonconformity that many trans women are still forced to confront today.

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Did this as a test bed for an upcoming commission.

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After my dnd sized Miyabi and the fact that I want to have an actual display figure for her, I printed up this awesome STL today! Will post pics of painting later.

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Eyes are hard. Good enough for dnd shenanigans though. Trying to not be so hard on myself.

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Working on a Hoshimi Miyabi figure for a silly DnD game coming up!

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@sara-paints here you go!

WIP for the Myriacor Leviathan from pipermakes!

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My quick take on Imotekh. Wanted to get him done before a game tomorrow, so bit of a rush job over the last couple of days, but had fun with it! Will probably touch up some of the rougher areas later.

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I've entered the United Porphyria Association's art contest, and decided to write a poem as my entry.

Responding to the prompt surrounding invisible realities, misconceptions, and misunderstood experiences related to Porphyria, I drew deeply from my own experiences and merged them with the themes of cosmic horror. The genre has long resonated with me, and its atmosphere of alienation, dread, and incomprehensible transformation felt strikingly appropriate for expressing the lived experience of Porphyria. The King in Yellow by Robert W. Chambers served not only as a major inspiration, but an equally fitting allegorical framework.

This poem took considerable time to write and refine, and in the process, it became something of a personal excavation as well, having been diagnosed with CEP since I was just a young child. I hope you find some comfort in this piece of cosmic horror poetry, and I hope your journey with Porphyria is met with as much gentleness and kindness as possible.

If you have Porphyria, or are a caretaker for someone who does, I encourage you to participate in this contest and tell your story.

https://www.porphyria.org/art-challenge

[elsieblu]

Knocked out my technomancer and skorpekh lord refresh the last two days. Bottom 3 are the old style from a few years back.

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Wrapped up my Canoptek Reanimator refresh! The last pic is what it used to look like.

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Had a lot of fun with Nekrosor, though I still struggle with nmm silver. Def need to work on my technique and recipie for it. Gold I feel like I'm getting down okay.

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Decided to revisit my old Illuminor Szeras model and touch him up from his older paint scheme. Had a lot of fun revisiting him.

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More WIP on Nekrosor