[toastbutteregg]

[pissvortex]

if Redd was such a crook like you guys say then how come he gave me a 10,000% Cousin Discount on a genuine Van Gogh painting

[symbrock]

i'm losing my shit at this the delivery is absolutely flawless

[yourdadsghoulfriend]

this has better acting than most movies

[tiktaalik-titties]

The dudes from mythbusters are the ultimate unstoppable force vs immovable object,, every time they interact its just

[mr-mustache-penis]

taika waititi would not be afraid of using “toxic” by britney spears during a fight scene

[mr-mustache-penis]

oscar winner taika waititi would not be afraid of using “toxic” by britney spears during a fight scene

[the-memedaddy]

Me irl

[stupidpetface]

[auditorycheesecakes]

the only bad thing about garlic is all the paperwork you have to do before you can even cut it up

look at that

layers and layers of bureaucratic bullshit

[wolverinedoctorwho]

OP that’s the best part. That’s the most fun part of the whole experience.

[kougie]

One of my favorite tumblr ads so far

[asdfghjkl-crossing]

[normal-thoughts-official]

ladies, if she

likes caviar and cigarettes

is well versed in etiquette

is extraordinarily nice

shes not your girl. shes a killer queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser bean, guaranteed to blow your mind

[tabrisfam]

[doubleca5t]

[chrishallbeck]

Long.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[sneakyfeets]

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sneakyfeets]

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims: 

[beatlesweatles]

The wife:

The mom:

[cryptspren-moved]

I t s b a c k

[vampsquash-deactivated20231229]

IS THIS THE ORIGINAL OMG

[parks-and-wyatt]

bacon.

[janet-snakeholemacklin]

BACON IS GOOD FOR ME.

[d0gbl0g]

[toadsandtiels]

[dormantcreator]

Ah fuck not again