Em’s Archive

Tim’s number one hater! I use girly as gender neutral. Any one can be girly

[em-s-archive]

Favorites!!

Listen I will be adding onto this master list of my favorite ao3 fics and adding my rating out of 10 (they might all be 10 or very close to ten lol) Please click the link to the fandom you want to read!

9-1-1

Supernatural

Teen wolf

Harry Potter

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Miscellaneous

[em-s-archive]

Some fanfic writers are famous to me.

Like no one else cares but baby i would love a movie about some of these peoples minds.

Like actually I don’t want to be your friend, I wanna follow you and be parasocial like you’re Dan and Phil in 2015.

[em-s-archive]

Guys there is this one hollanov fanfic that I reread every time it updates, even though it’s got like 200k words, cus it’s just that good

[em-s-archive]

Most terrifying part of this death and reviving of ao3(it’s happened like 4 times) is I’ve started opening the entire work instead of chapter by chapter like our gods intended.

[giveemhales]

Ten more Hollanov fics on the wayback machine because I see how desperate y'all are while ao3 is down (same) (posted some yesterday as well). Leave comments and kudos when ao3 is back!

Gatorade Galas & Moscow Mules by toraten E, 34k

Shane and Ilya are having trouble balancing their very private relationship and their very public lives.

Sit Tight, I'm Not Far Out From You Tonight by hollanoved E, 16k

the one where ilya buys his fwb, totally casual situationship shane a pair of panties to try

The Shane Hollander Thing by fandom_commitment_issues M, 7k

Cliff Marlow has been on Boston’s team with Ilya Rozanov for the last seven years. Last week, he figured out the Shane Hollander thing.

The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong) by pucksandpower G, 13k

in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

and i spit out the seeds by linearity E, 24k

A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

Dolled Up by mcshrug E, 5k

Dressing up for Ilya takes Shane about a mile out of his comfort zone. Good thing he’s not a chicken.

as high as i might (i can't get that high) by residentrookie NR, 10k

Shane Hollander accidentally gets very high. That's it, that's the fic.

Ring the Bells That Still Can Ring by toomuchplor E, 5k

It wasn't any easier the second time Shane got his bell rung. It was actually quite a lot worse.

from the cold by stammiviktor T, 6k

The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea what’s going on.

Our Captain, Their Problem by Bruja_oscura T, 8k

Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain. It's a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.

Bonus:

I also posted my own fics to Tumblr so they can be read off of ao3

Bear with Me

Hayden just wants to be a good ally and forgets that the Bears are a hockey team and not just gay slang. It leads to some misunderstandings

World's Worst Ally

Hayden tries to be a good ally and accidentally commits a hate crime instead

[em-s-archive]

Am I starting to understand stand the Cyrillic alphabet or am I just reading to much heated rivalry fan-fiction??

I guess we’ll never know

[synergy27]

Me at 13: “god I can’t wait to go home and read fanfic”

Me at 17: “god I can’t wait to go home and read fanfic”

Me at 21: “god I can’t wait to go home and read fanfic”

[frownyalfred]

big “I’m coming back to this WIP soon I promise” energy from ao3 today 😅

[nootdraws]

My WIFE (ao3) has been SHOT (is down for maintenance) and is DEAD FOREVER (probably will be back up in a few hours)

[em-s-archive]

Guys ao3 is down and I haven’t downloaded any of my fav heated rivalry fics,,, I’m going through withdrawal

[glorious-spoon]

if eddie could have married buck without his knowledge or permission he would have done it YEARS ago. for normal reasons.

[glorious-spoon]

i love all of the people reblogging this to go 'WELL WE DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HE HASN'T'. you're so correct. would desperately love to be a fly on the wall after buck finds out because eddie was in a coma or something and eddie is trying to explain what a normal, rational, and logical move this was.

[trafficaccidentshark]

Buck would find out when the IRS did an audit (too mirror the Chimney and Maddie plot).

[glorious-spoon]

absolutely the most perfect way for him to find out. he's been doing both his taxes and eddie's for years, INCORRECTLY AS IT TURNS OUT, because apparently they're MARRIED. at first he thinks he's being pranked or it's some kind of phishing scam. there is a series of escalating phone calls concluding with eddie's phone ringing at like 3AM and buck, so hysterical that he's looped back around to total calm, going 'uhhh so eddie u wanna explain why the IRS is telling me we're legally married in the state of montana???'

[tweetsongs]

"I don't see what the problem is."

"You don't- Eddie."

"Well, you're fixing it, right?"

"I-- our taxes?"

"I mean, yeah, isn't that what you called about?"

"No, Eddie, I didn't-- the taxes aren't the problem. Why the fuck are we married?"

"Clearly not for tax purposes."

"Wh- what were you thinking? What if one of us had tried to get married before I found out? Were you gonna divorce me without my knowing too?"

"Didn't know you were planning on jumping into marriage so soon."

"That's not the point, Eddie!"

"I mean, I'm not the one already jumping to divorce-- what, is it that bad being married to me? I haven't heard you complaining before."

"I didn't know before."

"So if you knew, you would have complaints?"

"That-- I-- Eddie, I'm not your husband, this is insane, how did you even do this?"

"According to Montana law, you are my husband."

"Oh my god. Give me your lawyer's number, I have to tell them to stop letting you do anything without my consent."

"Man, I didn't know you were so traditional. What, are you gonna ask Pepa for permission next?"

"I wasn't the one who proposed-- neither of us did!"

"Don't think our combined credit score's good enough to get nice rings, bud. I can get some silicone ones, if you're that set on it."

"Does Christopher know?"

"Chris knows that you're always gonna be around."

"That's not an answer."

"I don't know what you want from me, Buck."

"One straightforward answer would be nice."

"Fine, I'll text you my lawyer's number. We probably need to get our wills redone anyways. Get the step-parent adoption through."

"The what-"

"You make the appointment. I have to drive Christopher to school in the morning."

"You are gonna regret this once we're trapped in a car together."

"Great, so you're driving."

"Ed- fuck. You hung up." Beat. "Should I ask Pepa for permission?"

[dizco]

shane with his 34 pillows erecting from the armrest and ilya with his physics-defying placement of a single pillow all just so they can touch toes

[em-s-archive]

Just read a tag that said how to turn your ten-year situationship into uhaul lesbianism and actually cackled

[em-s-archive]

Sometimes I’ll forget that fanfic writers are just normal people.

[em-s-archive]

Guys idk if I can watch Buck and Eddie verbally edge each other for another season. I might need to get over it.

[em-s-archive]

AS SOMEONE WHO HAS JUST STARTED WATCHING PERCY JACKSON (and has never read the books) NOTHING BAD IS EVER GONNA HAPPEN TO TYSON!!! RIGHT??

[em-s-archive]

Most unrealistic part of s3e20 of criminal minds is that they let Reid drive a suv in New York lol