Wizard David

David's a Tumblr wizard now. Here to razzle your fooo avatar by emoji-shitposts

[vamplire]

therapy is cool and all but fangs in the neck would fix me i think

[wizardavid]

What about fangs in the neck, from a therapist, during a therapy session?

Then sex after, but with a separate vampire for ethical reasons....

[evilwizard]

hey guys so the hero that keeps barging in my tower seems to be using some sort of chronomancy called “quick saving.” have we figured out any counters for that yet or what’s the deal

[wizardavid]

Use corruption magic on their main disk drive

Just as much of it as you can conjure

[stupidestasshole]

THE TRUTH: art is inherently manipulative and artists are wicked evildoers who like to power trip off of controlling other people's emotions

[wizardavid]

Art is witchcraft. And witches fuck hard

[goth-queen]

[sharptoothsadist]

𝕴 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖉𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖉𝖘 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉𝖓'𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖆𝖑𝖑?

[dungeonmalcontent]

It's clearly casting moonbeam, you uncultured fireball-brained wizard.

[wizardavid]

Fireball, one of my favorite BEAM ATTACKS

[cryptotheism]

Science changes all the time so it's impossible to tell if leprechauns are real or not.

[wizardavid]

And the leprechauns like it this way

[definitely-not-several-bugs]

The spell master: God damn it, where on earth is my magic crystal ball????

The suspiciously hungry and round bug:

[the-true-tusk]

What is this thing

[brappypatty]

shoutout to my fellow Ornate Amphipod enjoyers

[wizardavid]

Excellent orbs to ponder

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[wizardavid]

Wizard Tower for bugs

[sandmandaddy69]

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

my favorite phenomenon on tiktok is when all the comments will line up and start doing the same bit

[gentlyorbiting]

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

[parkchanwoohoo]

[purble-wav-fandom]

prev this is too good to just leave as a tag, you should've added it

[wizardavid]

Bitches can't even levitate a head

[doomsday-dj]

There was recently a copyright infringement case in YA and I need everyone to know that the following sentence was in the legal decision:

“Hot, sexy, dangerous boys, central to virtually all young adult romance novels, cannot be copyrighted.”

[kuttithevangu]

“Regarding setting, the court held that both works taking place in Alaska high schools was not protectable because Alaska is a public place and setting a teen novel in a high school is a common genre convention.”

Freeman v. Deebs-Elkenaney | Loeb & Loeb LLP

Freeman v. Deebs-Elkenaney | Loeb & Loeb LLP

[kogiopsis]

I've read the entire decision (skimming over the purely legal precedent/definitions bit) and here are some of my favorite bits:

[wizardavid]

The judge really tore these women to shreds. "I know they both think their characters are introspective. They're not, and it wouldn't be original if they were"

[hereticpraetor]

i havent seen the strong as fuck ice mummy in a while. i hope shes doing ok

[sourcreammachine]

spring thaw. weak as fuck water mummy now

[fedoraspooky]

It's that time again

[distinguishedbaloney]

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Story Idea: A minion for a an evil Overlord from a High Fantasy Real and a Goon working for Prohibition-Era Mafia Gangster got transported into each other's worlds.

They quickly acclimated to their respective situations and started serving their new bosses with gutso!

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Gangster Boss: Dat Rat Fink double-crossed me! ME! Why I oughta...

Minion: Prithee, milord, may I suggest boiling him in oil for this transgression?

Gangster Boss: Yer a sick fuck, Ferdinand. Love da way ya think!

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Goon: 'ey boss, I notice dat de Hero of Light and Providence gets supplies in dem towns on da way to yer liar on the regular. You want me to go over dere to dem shops and uh *winks and clicks tongue* convince them to close up shop?

Overlord, embers gleaming inside his dark helm: ....make it so, Robert.

[the-haiku-bot]

Overlord, embers

gleaming inside his dark helm:

….make it so, Robert.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[wizardavid]

We love a good DEI hire

[synthetic-ultramarine]

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

[wizardavid]

Can you send me the illusion expert listing?

[sealedbeastnue]

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”