Emerald Guardsman.

They / Them. 21 Years Old. Always confused. Possible chef. Random other stuff. Mainly shitposting and reblogging. I don't like messaging with people on here or almost anywhere else for that matter!! So please don't message me or whatever unless we already know each other.

[dogpuppy]

[emeraldguardsman]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

they should add green to the transgender pride flag to represent hustlers+money

[emeraldguardsman]

[dogpuppy]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[emeraldguardsman]

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[emeraldguardsman]

[dogpuppy]

[emeraldguardsman]

HE JUST WANTED TO SELL CAR INSURANCE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

[z3bula]

HE'S REACHING FOR HIS HONESTY AND KIND NATURE

[wincingthenightaway]

[emeraldguardsman]

actual coolest post ever btw

[etiennelux]

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[t-valentines]

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[jabberwockypie]

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons

[emeraldguardsman]

All three of these are completely universal experiences

[talontarget]

jkr is literally posting upskirt photos to her social media. when will it finally get through to harry potter fans that their support makes her feel confident and correct enough to do things like this

[dodykeahedron]

If the holocaust denialism SOMEHOW wasn't enough for you to shut up about your favourite kids book as an adult; JK Rowling just committed a sex crime IRL against a transgender woman.

When do we start to care.

[emeraldguardsman]

If Rowling somehow doesn't rot behind bars for this her whole life long I'm somehow gonna find a way to lose more faith in the world than I already have.

[loveridden1999]

i miss my ex bestfriend & everyone else that i have ever loved but don't want any of them back either

[loveridden1999]

what the fuck man

[emeraldguardsman]

i love this game so much by the way

[junethused]

why would gaster make us make noelle make kris do that

[carpetcat2]

stupid 12 am edits

[emeraldguardsman]

"Jarona! Jarona! JarooOOHHHH NO. NO NO NO THIS ISN'T GOOD"

[justarandomart]

Ah i see, in hindsight we really should have expected this

[emeraldguardsman]

I'm so glad the little chamber made of glass we heard about was Flowery's lil ol' protective casing or some shit and not a jar The joke is way too easy

[haunted-xander]

Mentors in Deltarune are either a dead old man or an anime twink trying to fuck your dad

Alternatively:

[emeraldguardsman]

I'm so sad that they probably won't ever interact I think it'd be hilarious

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[phoenix-theurge]

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

[emeraldguardsman]