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@emiliataylor
Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.
Listening to Zed play DeadSpace while I do chores around the house, if you like watching funny guys with deep voices play scary games, join me!
it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip
anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free
and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her
and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”
“Hey Clarence”
my ship is sunk on both ends but hey maybe demons and angels get an afterlife
Chris Evans on Ellen 2014 - 2017
Lookit him being way more comfortable in front of people!! 💕💕
Chris Evans on Ellen 2014 - 2017
remember twilight and how edward and bella couldn’t do it bc edward was afraid he’d fuck her to death?
i remember bella willing to die for the dick
and when Persephone was in the underworld she ate just one bite of avocado toast and so, from thence forth, was cursed to never own a home
Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”
“Friend”
Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.
Plants don’t wage war
Ever heard of blackberries?
Yes, plants do wage war
Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.
I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.
It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.
Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.
And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.
This post did not go where I expected it to.
@gallusrostromegalus
OH GOD PLANTS ARE SUCH ASSHOLES.
Mom had an entire 12x 12 bed of extra-hot oregano becuase we didn’t know it would go all Genghis Khan if we put it in the ground. The blackberries took over the entire garden shed and had to be hack-sawed to get the door open again. Part of my lawn is STILL strawberries from when the former owner planted them in NINETEEN FIFTY FUCKING TWO.
new artist challenge
draw the OTP and the third wheel best friend
so kinda like this?
OUCH. but. yes.
Humans are adorable.
Supporting evidence:
1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist
This always makes me feel better about humans
AW WE FOUND ROCKS YOU GUYS
Chris Evans for Empire Magazine Summer 2017 (x)
Fame is not my favorite thing. I’m not going to say it’s always bad. It has good aspects to it. But I’m certainly not an actor who’s equating world notoriety with success.
tbh America is passing bullshits laws just to be passing bullshit laws at this point
This poor dude is waiting for his date for the prom unknowing he is being watched by the crew of a hit TV show
The tides coming in, hurry up dude.
Tide got him but he’s ok.
He’s texting his girl but she’s not showing up. Is she standing him up?
His best bud just showed up to help him.
Tide is really coming in now, he’s on the phone. Things are getting frantic.
Will she arrive in time? We’re gonna give him a round of applause if she says yes and arrives.
OH NO!
CREW IS ENCOURAGING HIM TO RE-DO HIS WORK. WE’RE SHOUTING “DO IT!”
HE IS RE-MAKING THE MESSAGE! I REPEAT! HE IS REMAKING THE MESSAGE!
WE HAVE RECIEVED WORD THAT THE GIRL IS ON A TREASURE HUNT IN THE CITY AND THIS IS THE FINAL LOCATION. HIS FRIEND IS STALLING FOR TIME.
UPDATE: BEACHGOERS HAVE JOINED IN TO HELP THIS BOY REBUILD HIS MESSAGE TO THE GIRL! HIS FRIEND HAS JOINED IN AS WELL.
IT’S ALMOST DONE! THEY MIGHT MAKE IT!
THE MESSAGE IS COMPLETED! THE QUESTION IS NOW “WILL SHE SAY YES?”
BRO OF THE YEAR JUST BROUGHT A GIRL. I THINK THIS MAY BE IT!
I THINK THIS IS IT!
SHE’S APPROACHING!
YES! THE ANSWER IS YES!
OUR CREW IS CHEERING FOR THESE TWO.