emilyclare18

thoughts about life and faith

[emilyclare18]

everything is awesome?

I love London. The bustling streets, where swarms of individuals move as if they were one great fluid, the endless hidden corners just when I think I’ve seen it all, the old and new squabbling for space. After a great summer I now can’t wait to return to my beloved Sheffield, but the atmosphere of the capital is something I do miss when I return to uni.

I went to the V&A museum a couple of weeks ago (shamefully, for the first time ever, after intentions to visit have failed for the last decade!). I had the company of my lovely mum, ever the one to imagine the stories behind what we see, who got me thinking about the concept of awe. We looked at grand, towering religious relics and wondered about the inspiration behind them; the reverence motivating the designers of such things to honour their gods.

^Mum looking intellectual in the V&A

It’s debateable how much people still experience and value this sense of reverence. In our busy lives, where we like to think nothing is beyond us, we rarely stop to say “wow”; to watch, to meditate, to marvel. The word “awesome” is batted around incessantly, but do we really experience awe? Dictionary.com defines awe as “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc.” caused by experiencing something “grand, sublime or extremely powerful”. This is a big word! Its enormity is, I think, often a little underappreciated. Describing my new phone, my breakfast or a particularly nice pen as “awesome” seems to somewhat discredit those things that are truly awe-inspiring (guilty as charged).

Awe needn’t be reduced to a meaningless word, or relegated to a religious grandeur seen only in the past. Awe can and should be found in the everyday. Back to London for a minute- another more recent trip saw my boyfriend and I hop on the London eye (thanks to a very kind friend with free tickets!). The sun had set on a miserable rainy day and the gloomy, grey Southbank had transformed into a sea of lights against a big black sky. It was beautiful, and the eye was a moment to stop and appreciate that unintentional, industrial elegance. Apparently my face completely failed to hide the childlike awe I felt the entire way around…. No shame!

^I thought this was a decent view

Awe might not be the “coolest” emotion out there. Kids at school are scared to appear too “keen” for anything; ambivalence is safest, so it reigns supreme. In fact, you might be laughing at me right now for my excessively rosy descriptions of light-polluted suburbia… But awe is such a necessary and brilliant experience. Whatever it might be that makes you stop and think “wow”, embrace it! It reminds us of our humanity and helps us to appreciate the majesty of the world we live in.

This was going to be a couple of lines to introduce a pretty ropey poem but seems to have escalated… I’ll leave you with the lines anyways- I hope you find something to marvel at today :)

 These days “everything is awesome”

Yet we’re starved of awe.

We’re fuelling a distortion

That there isn’t something more

  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  

But there’s mighty power in rolling seas

That crash against the sand

There’s galaxies light-years away

Yet power in your hands

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -    

There’s cities, brought alive at dusk,

that sparkle with a million lights,

And behind each glowing window

is a heart, a soul, a life.

  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  

There’s evening skies ablaze

with colours sent from a distant star,

There’s a God who made the mountains

but knows exactly who you are.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  

Don’t leave wonder as a dying art,

lose reverence to history,

Stop and stare, and stand amazed,

And marvel at the mystery.

[emilyclare18]

Disagreeing with Dolly

Today, I write in praise of the humble nine-to-five… Spending the last few weeks of my summer working on a research placement, I’ve become quite a fan of it. In modern life it’s often not practical, or just not how things are done; but I think it could actually be significantly beneficial to overall wellbeing. Certainly compared to student life, I feel that working has a number of features making it far more conducive to good mental health. Let me elaborate…

Firstly, there is the simple fact that 9-5 workers have to be somewhere every morning. Unlike lectures, that begin at a range of times (and whose compulsory-ness is up for debate!) working means there is no choice but to get up and go in the morning, however you are feeling. Painful as this may be some days, overall it reduces the opportunity to indulge feelings of sluggishness; it also establishes a strong body clock, which helps the body work more efficiently every day.

Building from this, the establishment of a regular routine is beneficial generally. Having a clear structure to the day helps maximise both work time and free time effectively. It sets your head straight. At uni (as with some more flexible jobs), all times of day are potentially times to be studying. With the libraries open 24 hours, there’s no clear line between when is work and when is play! This contributes to feelings of guilt or anxiety when not working, especially during exam season. Because when you work is entirely down to you, there is more worry; “Am I working enough? Should I be working now? Oh if I just finish this…”. Clear 9-5 working hours eliminate this, making it easier to work diligently in the day and then truly relax properly in the evening. This is important; not ever ‘switching off’ fully from the stresses of work could, over time, be very detrimental.

Finally, working gives us a purpose; a job has to be done and we are fulfilling that need, whatever it may be. I love studying, but it is purely for myself; the purpose of my work as a student is to get a good degree, that will (hopefully!) get me places in life. In a job, you are serving people other than yourself. This provides greater motivation to do things well, and a greater satisfaction that you are contributing to something bigger. This in turn increases a sense of value, feeling that you are significant and an asset to others, boosting overall self esteem and positivity.

We as human beings were created to work. Its good for us! In genesis, work was a thing before the fall of mankind; it is a part of God’s good design for us. I can see that this is the case after only a small taste of “real life” working! But, it is also important to remember that work takes many forms. I feel that a standard 9-5 style workday will be very beneficial for someone like myself, for the reasons I’ve gone into, but we are all different! Ultimately, the key thing is this: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.“ (Colossians 3:23-25). Serving Christ the Lord: what a way to make a living!

[emilyclare18]

The value of “stuff”

I write this in my brand new bedroom, sitting in the window with the evening light still flooding through the glass that fills an entire wall of this cosy little space. Yes, I’m something of a sunlight addict; this is lovely! I’m currently having great fun ‘playing house’ and turning my bedroom into a place that both serves and represents me. However, one thing moving here has really brought to light is the sheer quantity of ‘stuff’ that I appear to own! Two trips in my dad’s big car were needed to shift all my worldly possessions 3 streets down from their last place of residence. Having less space than I had last year has meant I have a lot more clutter to combat!

To be honest, looking at all my things bagged up ready to leave my old house made me feel a little funny at the time. I felt genuinely ashamed at the amount of stuff there was, blocking the way of the newbies moving in! I could only think “surely, one person does not need all of this?”

We live in a society used to excess. We want in abundance, and want instant gratification. We expect great heights of ourselves and of other people. We eat too much, we drink too much, we buy too much. Because it’s all around us, it’s so easy not to notice; to conform, to desperately wish for the next big thing and then the next. Often, we only realise once we have got something that it doesn’t actually change our life the way we truly thought it could.

Thinking of all the people in the world who survive off so little, even thrive off so little, helps to put the mountains I have acquired into perspective. I don’t need half of the things I own! It is also humbling to consider the joy that defines many Christian communities in great poverty. Truly, they demonstrate how Jesus is enough to sustain us without any of the other things we take comfort in. He is all we need for genuine satisfaction, regardless of what worldly luxuries we may enjoy. It’s worth stopping and thinking about how much value we place on the physical things we own (that includes money!). Do we view them as gifts from God? As luxuries of a prosperous country? Do we feel we need them; for comfort, for security, for self-assurance? Do we use them wisely?

I know I can fall into the trap of longing after things sometimes. I can equally get over-attached to what I already have, feeling as though I have a right to all of these things. It’s easy to do! But moving house and looking at it all has been a good opportunity for me to consider the true value of what I own, and more importantly why I value certain things. Let me give a couple of examples…

I have a lot of clothes (oops, don’t tell anyone I was shopping all day on Friday!). Thinking about this helps me to consider my attitude to appearance; to check that I don’t hinge too much of my self-worth on what I look like. I have the chance to remember that my identity is wholly caught up in Jesus; I am a rescued child of God, loved unconditionally by a perfect saviour. I don’t need to worry about being as fashionable as the next girl, if I’m living with a more eternal perspective. I can enjoy a good shop, but with my head in the right place!

I’ve also got stacks of stationary. My bullet journal is having a moment, and colourful fineliners play a (slightly embarrassingly) significant role in my life! This helps me think about who is really in charge; my endless dedication to (very pretty!) organisation and planning is an indulgence of my control-freak tendencies! It’s great to be organised, reliable and efficient. However, it’s also important to be flexible, to be accommodating of other people, and to acknowledge the sovereignty of God over everything I do. I can enjoy my planning but remind myself that I should not try to control every second of my life; instead remaining open to new ideas and spontaneity, and trusting in the guidance and protection of God over my life. He’s the one in real control!

They’re just a couple of things. My point is that the physical objects we place value on often point to deeper attitudes we hold, and can help us uncover and challenge those attitudes. Yes, I’ve had a very little sort out, but we don’t need to go out and throw away all our worldly possessions in response to this; just thinking about what they mean to us can help us to view them in perspective. For me, that is a Christian perspective; remembering that the greatest treasures are found in heaven!  

[emilyclare18]

What Matters Most

Ask most students I know “how do you feel right now?” and I can almost guarantee your answer will be reasonably bleak. “Stressed, inadequate, bored, overworked, exhausted…” Exam season is in full swing and I, like the majority, have been freaking out. But really, we all know deep down that that’s not helping anyone. We could all benefit from looking outside of ourselves more; hard as it may be, it’s so important to view things in their correct perspective and proportion. Recently, I have been blessed with a number of beautiful little moments to help me do that; gentle reminders that help me to stop, breathe and say “How do I feel? At peace, and immeasurably loved”.  

Of course, being able to say this doesn’t mean round-the-clock happiness. My days at the moment are really pretty shit, in all honesty. But I want to acknowledge how little things, that might sometimes appear insignificant, have been such incredible blessings. Little things like receiving texts on the morning of my first exam this week; letting me know that people were thinking of me, praying for me. Receiving completely unexpected parcels in the post, filled with encouraging words and substantial amounts of chocolate! I feel flooded with love and support.

It is this wonderful feeling that is keeping me going and has pointed me back to the really important things in life. By the grace of God, I enjoy the freedom of knowing there really is more to life than this present moment. I am not popular by anyone’s standards, but those who truly matter are close, and they’re just incredible. I know that exam results, hours clocked up in the library, or indeed any measure of human success, will never change where I stand before them.  

Exams are stressful. But I’m trying my best, and I can come home after a long day studying knowing “that’s enough for now.” Whatever the future holds, with the love of God and the brilliant people He has placed in my life, I have absolutely everything I need.

[emilyclare18]

We do not presume...

Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve sat down to write anything that wasn’t revision! Life has been mad, stressful and, well, the way life always is for a student in May! But, here I find myself at the end of a very long day with a cup of tea, some chocolate buttons and a little bit of time to think. So, forgive me if all eloquence is lost to stress and sleep deprivation, but I’m going to think a little about Communion; it’s been on my mind since we shared it at church on Sunday. It really helped me realign my perspective on everything that’s going on. I really enjoy and value it, so I’m going to dive in and think about what it really means; and why, if at all, it’s important.

Let’s start at the beginning; the first communion, if you will. Before Jesus was sent to die, he and his disciples had a final meal together. “He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me” [Luke 22:19]. He did the same with wine, saying ““This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you” [v20]. Essentially, when communion is taken now, we do the same; share bread and wine, in remembrance of Jesus and the sacrifice he made for us.

Such a physical way to remember Jesus is a great thing. Trying to revise for exams at the moment, I certainly know that reading or listening to something once or twice is not enough to keep it at the forefront of my mind! The symbols of the bread and wine are prompts, so that we truly think about how Jesus gave up his body and his blood so that we might share a life with God.

As good as this may be, I think communion is a lot more than simply ‘remembering’. The word ‘communion’ literally means “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a mental or spiritual level.” Exactly this- communion with God- is what Jesus’ death and resurrection has won for us! This is what we are truly receiving when we come up to the table: the grace that makes us right with God. What an incredible privilege to ‘exchange intimate thoughts and feelings’ with the creator and sustainer of the universe! We can pray to God in confidence, knowing he hears our innermost thoughts. We can discover the mind of God in return; through Jesus, the Bible, creation and the many other ways in which He shows himself to us. Communion is a reminder that faith is more than knowledge; it is this great relationship.

Jesus also grants us communion with each other. It is an important detail that everyone goes up to receive bread and wine together in a church; it allows us to share in the blessings Jesus has given to all of us. When we accept Jesus as our saviour, we also accept His church as our brothers and sisters. “Just as a body has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptised by one Spirit so as to form one body…we were all given the one Spirit” [1 Cor 12:12-14]. Everyone has a part to play as part of God’s family, and gathering around to receive bread and wine together reminds us that each one of us has received the same grace from God; each is equally loved and significant. We are to have communion with each other, exchange thoughts and feelings, “encourage one another and build each other up” [1 Thess 5:11].

This is all great stuff; we can remember Jesus, share in a relationship with God, and experience the love and support of all other Christians under God’s grace. Fab! But it could still be argued that the ritualistic nature of communion in church is old fashioned, and unnecessarily weird for anyone who’s not familiar with the concept. I can totally see this. Communion is, to many, a little odd. Sharing bread and wine was far more customary for Jesus and his disciples, and would have been in the context of a meal rather than a quick nibble and a sip before heading back to a pew! Equivalently, I’m sure a group of Christians meeting together to thank Jesus for his sacrifice over a pie and a pint would probably fit Jesus’ bill when he said “do this in remembrance of me”.

Indeed, we should take every opportunity to share meals with each other, extend hospitality to others in the church family, and thank God for the many blessings he has enabled us to share! But I’m, arguably quite uncharacteristically, still very much waving the flag for more traditional ways to ‘do communion’. I must stress that no ritual is needed to bring us in to communion with God; only Jesus can do that and, mercifully, it has already been done. I do however want to advocate the value of this particular ritual. I wanted to write about it because, personally, I get a lot out of what could be perceived by some as an outdated tradition.

Firstly, the physical act of kneeling down reminds me of God’s power, His supremacy. I always remember my mum telling me about her grandfather- my great grandfather- and how he used to kneel down, every evening, to pray the Lord’s Prayer. I think it’s a beautiful picture of humility. It is a simple act of worship, acknowledging that God is mighty and above all things. However far I may have been wandering away from God at the time, getting on my knees at communion is when I say ‘you’re my Lord and I want you to be in charge of my life’.

Similarly, as I wait there with my hands outstretched, I am always struck by the wonderful gift of grace. Our rescue is something freely given, through no work on our part. I am literally empty-handed before God, saved only by the love of Jesus Christ. He gives me that communion with God. I have nothing to offer Him, yet as I receive bread and wine I remember how I also receive His great blessings, forgiveness and acceptance.

Finally, the whole experience gives me a chance to focus on nothing else for a few short minutes. I’ve mentioned that life is a little manic at the moment, but isn’t it always!? On Sunday, in amongst all my current stresses, communion really was a sacred moment. A moment to stop and be completely removed from all the trivial things that were rushing around my mind, to focus entirely on the love of Jesus, and to acknowledge Him as my God. To remember the absolute enormity of grace, receive it afresh and be overwhelmed by just how beautiful it is. To get my priorities straight. We need moments like that sometimes.

So, weird as it may seem to some, communion is truly valuable for me. I hope I’ve managed to articulate why to some extent, and I’ll leave you with a song on the topic…

 Lamb of God

Unworthy, we come

Jesus, to your table

Knowing we’ve done nothing to deserve your love

Ransomed, we stand

Jesus, where you died;

Remembering that the cross is all we have

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Lamb of God, my sacrifice

Together we receive and we remember

Nothing I’ve done but everything you did

has brought me to your table

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Enduring, your pain

Jesus, you suffered

Your sacrifice will never be forgotten

Humble, we kneel

Jesus, at your feet;

Empty-handed, longing for your grace

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Lamb of God, my sacrifice

Together we receive and we remember

Nothing I’ve done but everything you did

has brought me to your table.

[emilyclare18]

Another on point, v nicely done video from the #likeagirl campaign :) I loved the last one and this is also top. Such a little, seemingly inconsequential thing; but it just points out the underlying, often unthinking sexism that lingers in our society. Yes please, I want a weightlifting girl emoji who’s not wearing pink! 

[emilyclare18]

Is there anybody out there?

Are we alone in this universe?

It’s a big question, full of mystery and intrigue. Many human beings love the notion that there could be thriving, intelligent life forms elsewhere in the universe; many others feel uncomfortable with such a thought. But the sheer volume of the universe throws out questions; surely, in such an expanse, the chance that something could exist somewhere other than here isn’t to be written off.  

For now, at least, the subject remains purely speculative. Life hasn’t yet been discovered on other planets, and we are certainly far from finding a level of intelligence and high-order thinking comparable to that we are used to on Earth. But, allow me to take you on a hypothetical journey. Just think; what would the implications be if life were found elsewhere in the universe? In particular, how compatible is the existence of intelligent extra-terrestrial life with a Christian view of God? Would it undermine Him completely? If it would, it surely merits some consideration. Here goes nothing…

Firstly, let’s consider the existence of extra-terrestrial life in the first place. There exists legitimate argument that we, the human race, are in some way special. This may point towards the conclusion that intelligent life as we understand it should not exist elsewhere; that we must be the only ones. The Rare Earth Hypothesis argues that the complex evolution of human intelligence required a very rare combination of factors to be aligned. The idea of the finely-tuned universe ties into this somewhat; it is true that the conditions on Earth, and the physical constants that govern them, are required to be almost exactly as they are in order to support human life. Maybe then such life-supporting specificity is indeed a rarity in the universe, making intelligent life elsewhere improbable.

Biblically, the notion that humanity is somewhat special is supported by the concept that we are made in the image of God. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God he created them, male and female” [Gen 1:27]. This differentiates us from the animals we see on Earth, which God made “according to their kinds” [Gen 1:24]. We are made differently from other creatures. We are also the only species known to be able to enjoy a relationship with God. God is Trinity, by definition relational; yet we, human beings, are the ones with whom He wants a relationship. God loves to know us; Luke 15:6 describes the “rejoicing in heaven” that occurs when just one human being turns to Jesus. It is clear that God thinks people are special. Therefore, considering the animals we see on Earth who do not have this privilege, it would not be illogical to conclude that we were the only species to be given this special differentiation.

Conversely to this, consideration of the wider character of God supports the existence of extra-terrestrial intelligent life within His created universe. There is nothing to say that other species elsewhere are not also known and loved by God. If He loves relationships with intelligent beings (humans), why would He not want more and more of such relationships? God loves life itself. God created life, and Jesus suffered death on a cross in order to save the lives of many. He said “I am the way, the truth and the life” [John 14:16]. Surely then, a God who values life so dearly would indeed value it in abundance, wherever it may be? From this, it is reasonable to conclude that the existence of intelligent extra-terrestrial life would not be inconsistent with the Christian view of God.  

This considered, let’s delve deeper into the hypothetical. Say extra-terrestrial intelligence is discovered; as discussed, its mere existence does not undermine the life-breathing character of God. But what about the things it may have to say?

Human beings are hard-wired to question where we are from, and to consider the existence of a deity beyond ourselves. Whatever the conclusion of each individual, the nature of our consciousness means that we are a species capable of abstract, higher-order thought such as this. I would argue that being created by God means that humans have an inbuilt instinct to search for him somehow. Certainly, religion and the search for a higher power in many forms has been an integral part of human history. But what of our newfound extra-terrestrial life forms? Do they have an awareness of a deity?

If such an awareness were present in another life form, it would be a key indicator that they were indeed equivalently “intelligent” to human beings, as this notion of God is a key differentiator between us and less evolved, less conscious creatures. It would also provide reassurance that God does want a relationship with such other beings, as He has given them the minds to be able to consider Him already. It would not substantially challenge the existence, or character, of the God that we know.

However, examine the scenario whereby our new acquaintances have no conceptual grasp of a higher power. This may challenge our perception of God more than anything discussed thus far. Would this mean God only “applies” to the Earth? No, God is infinite. Though surely, a loving God would not isolate an entire civilisation, an entire planet, from understanding Him? ET’s, capable of abstract thought but incapable of comprehending a deity, would certainly raise questions; is God solely a human construct? Even if you believe Him to be so, why would these other intelligent minds not have reached a similar conclusion? How do they explain their life? This scenario may cast doubts on the existence and character of God that we currently understand.

Alternatively, such a scenario would merely challenge our view of God’s work for mankind. Our perception of “the world” is continually expanding. Discovery of other countries and the development of cars, trains and planes have made our Earth far ‘smaller’ and more accessible than we could have imagined even a few hundred years ago. Space missions and exploration of our solar system have caused human beings to further expand their horizons. In the same way, would finding extra-terrestrial intelligent life be just another expansion of our understanding of what is? There was once a time when the notion of another earthly civilisation, another country across the sea, another culture and language vastly different to one’s own, would have felt entirely ‘alien’. Yet there is clearly no question now that the message of Jesus is for all such civilisations, regardless of any initial preconceptions or lack of knowledge they may have; “I…will draw all people to myself” [John 12:32]. Perhaps the same would apply to ET’s with no concept of God. Perhaps, in a universe where the call to be God’s witnesses “to the ends of the earth” [Acts 1:7] is an ever-increasing task as horizons broaden, such a scenario would merely present a colossal missionary challenge; intergalactic evangelism…?!

There are so many things that could be considered, and the implications of intelligent life elsewhere would probably impact very differently on people’s individual perceptions of God. However, it can be said that, though such life would certainly present huge challenges, there is no certainty that it would undermine a Christian view of God. God is infinite, God is a creator and He loves life. He has placed so much out there in the universe that, through improved scientific progression, He is slowly revealing to mankind piece by piece. It’s entirely unknown, entirely speculative, but hey; maybe one day that’ll include some aliens. Who knows.  

[emilyclare18]

Food for Thought: The Real Junk Food Project 28/02

Last weekend, while indulging in the laziest of mornings in my pyjamas, sprawled in front of Sunday Brunch and on my 4th mug of tea of the still-young day, I got a phone call. This was from Sheffield Volunteering, saying a space had become available to help out on a project all day, beginning in half an hour… Now, it takes a lot to rouse me from my Sunday-morning state of relaxation, but, the project in question was 100% worth the lightning speed with which I leapt off the sofa…

“The Real Junk Food Project” (TRJFP) is a name used nationwide, encompassing a number of small, independently run cafes and popups. The issue of excessive waste is a hugely important one, both morally and economically [Read my previous thoughts about this here]; TRJFP are taking a brilliant step to combat the amount of food thoughtlessly wasted by shops and companies. They serve a new menu of food each day, dependent on what they have been given, of intercepted food; food that shops deem ‘unsellable’ and would throw out if it weren’t for this intervention. I spent the day in the kitchen, preparing vegetables for a kale and chard soup and inventing a sickly-sweet syrup cake made from cobbled-together bits and pieces of ‘normal’ baking ingredients. I love cooking new things, and the challenge of using whatever had been donated was really fun, making me think outside the box regarding what recipes were feasible.

The cafe operates on a “pay as you feel” basis so that anyone who wants a good meal can have one, regardless of how much they can afford to pay for it. This, in practice, was brilliant to observe; very poor families came through the café, paying next to nothing but receiving a wholesome hot meal. Equally, better-off families visited, paying far more for their Sunday dinner. It was heartwarming to see these balance out, and to appreciate the appeal of the place to such a range of people.

I have nothing but praise for this incredible little initiative. It’s a small step towards a larger-scale solution, but that little café was so full of positivity. Preventing food waste, feeding those in need, and providing a charming, relaxing environment where truly anyone is welcome to come and enjoy tasty homemade food. This kind of place encompasses so many values that I hold dear. It truly deserves to grow and grow. Everyone could do with a bit of TRJFP’s viewpoint: fight the disgusting amount of food that is thrown away. Value the produce we are blessed with, and the planet it comes from. And value each other, remembering we are all equally worthy of proper nutrition and world resources.

I hope very much to return to the Sheffield café, and to see the project blossom. I feel lucky to have been given this opportunity; to use my love of cooking to play a small role in changing perspectives in this way. Yes, it’s infinitely more rewarding than a Sunday on the sofa. All the best to TRJFP; our world needs more gems like this one.

The Sheffield Volunteering team for the day

[emilyclare18]

Jesus: Not a ‘God of the Gaps’

Today I attended a talk at my SU entitled “5 things science has proved about God”. Such a title immediately sparked my interest as, being both a physicist and a Christian, clearly some big themes were likely to come up that would be relevant to me. I particularly liked the way this title was phrased; I had relatively high hopes that the talk might debunk some of the assumptions about the science/God crossover and show how investigating science so often reveals certain aspects of God.

Sadly, I hate to say this wasn’t the case. The misleading title described, in fact, the exact opposite of what the talk was about. Instead of “5 things science has proved about God”, I listened for half an hour to “5 things materialism cannot explain about the world”, with the message that “this is why you need God to explain such things instead”.

I’m sorry to go overboard on this, but it is wrong on so many levels. And, as a Christian and as a scientist, it makes me angry. I agree that everyone needs to consider God. I agree that science cannot tell us everything. I agree that issues such as the improbability of the universe and the origin of human morality are big questions of our time. But there is a huge distinction between acknowledging these things, and presenting one as a solution to the other.

Doing so ultimately worsens the problems it is trying to remedy. The perception that science has eradicated the ‘need’ for God is only fuelled and exacerbated by the implication that God is the only explanation when science runs out. If your primary argument for Christianity is “How do you explain x/y/z without God?”, where does that leave you in 10/20/100 years’ time when science goes and does exactly that? Suddenly, it’s true; your god is not ‘needed’.

Faith is not a concept limited to religion. I have faith in science. I believe that it will continue to progress, continue to amaze us and continue to uncover more and more about the universe we live in. I want it to do so. Which is why any faith that I have in God must be able to withstand the ever changing face of scientific discovery.  My faith in God cannot rely on incomplete scientific understanding, because the gaps and inconsistencies in science are, and should always be, being remoulded and diminished. I am certain that science will prove many more incredible things, in my lifetime and beyond; I am also certain that not one of these will be inconsistent with the creator God who placed them there, ripe for discovery.

My God is not a ‘god of the gaps’. My God is not there as an easy answer to scientific questions left unexplained. My God blesses us with those questions; blesses us with the minds and equipment to investigate them. My God doesn’t want me to choose between scientific facts and a relationship with Him; my saviour said “I am the truth”.

This is the God I want to tell people about. Issues with science aside, the approach of “here is everything wrong with your worldview; therefore, consider mine” is unlikely to inspire a room full of people to feel open to investigating Christianity anyway. It immediately establishes a “us and them” atmosphere; “you’re wrong, I’m right”. It fuels defensiveness, competition and feelings of exclusion. Telling someone about Jesus should be a joy; to nurture curiosity, encourage openness and show somebody how much they are loved and welcomed by God. It shouldn’t be an accusation; I can never imagine Jesus making someone feel belittled just because they hold a widely accepted opinion that they may not yet have been given the chance to question.

I believe in one God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit; creator of all that is, seen and unseen. Not because I can’t explain the entire universe on my own, thus needing him to pick up where physics leaves off. No; I believe in Him because He loved us enough to send Jesus Christ, to walk this earth and reveal His true likeness to us. And, whatever we may discover about the incredible universe we live in, the character of the God who put us here is the same yesterday, today and forever.

[emilyclare18]

“Generation Anxiety”

This comment on society came out of a little moment when I’d been revising physics for far too many hours and needed a creative outlet; you know, cos too many unadulterated equations are bad for your health.

It’s about how, often subconsciously, we are negatively affected by the messages bombarding us from all angles in this age of technology. It’s about how this might be a significant factor in the ever increasing rates of anxiety and depression in people my age, and those even younger than us. Some have gone as far as to label millennials as “generation anxiety”.

With the internet, we can compare ourselves to the whole world. An airbrushed Instagram tells us “you’re not pretty enough”.  A rose-tinted Facebook page tells us “you’re not popular enough”. An ill-sourced Pinterest board tells us “you’re not fit enough”, “you’re not creative enough”, “you’ve done nothing with your life”. The internet is brilliant but, as shrewd as we may think we are, it can also send out damaging messages. And over time, these messages have the power to wear people down until their self-worth is at rock bottom, or determined only by the ‘likes’ of people they don’t know.

We’re all susceptible to some extent, and need to remember that real fulfilment comes from enjoying real life. And if we’re not a Pinterest-perfect world travelling chef with Instagram abs and as many real friends as Facebook ones, that’s quite alright. Actually, it’s probably brilliant.

 “Generation Anxiety”

Projected from every screen

The expectations of society

Into the impressionable minds

Of generation anxiety.

 -------------------------------------------

We are the children;

From mother’s milk to media’s illusion

Drip fed; until our inadequacy

Seems the only conclusion.

  -------------------------------------------

Intoxicated by ideals,

Blinded to all but so-called flaws,

We pursue perfection’s promise;

Return, like addicts, to the cause.

  -------------------------------------------

When did we become those who

Look to strangers for validation?

Accepting, loving reality needs

To cure my broken generation.

[emilyclare18]

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight. Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one. Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself. Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself. Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes. Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with. Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture. Teach your daughter how to cook kale. Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter. Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants. Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

Sarah Koppelkam

[emilyclare18]

Let's make it a thankful 52 weeks 😊 Gratitude journal to remind me to always, always count my blessings and appreciate the beautiful things in the world.

[emilyclare18]

"We need a revolution in the way we think about failure" Builds (far more eloquently) on what I said in my last post!

[emilyclare18]

New Year, new Just me, and that’s absolutely fine

“Making New Year’s Resolutions is a massive waste of time. You just know you’ll break them all anyway” -Me, every year of my life.

And that is exactly why I’ve gone and made some this year. Because it’s that defeatist, uncompromising attitude to myself that I’ve realised I really need to change.

I’ve spent far too long in this mindset: the split second I step a millimetre out of my painstakingly perfected plans, I consider myself a failure. I write off that goal, that plan, thinking “well, I’ve blown it now, so screw the whole thing”. I swing wildly back into behaviours totally opposite to those I’d been trying to attain, until I eventually come around again to incessant planning of major life-overhauling goals that I will inevitably ‘fail’ at again.

I’ve written off resolutions due to the notion that ‘of course I will fail’. I’ve laughed off that attitude many times; “I’m just like that”. But, actually, that’s stupid. We define our own failure.

A disagreement doesn’t mean you’ve lost a friend. A missed workout doesn’t mean you’re reduced to no fitness. A challenging topic doesn’t mean you’ve failed your entire degree.

To many people that might sound obvious, but I’m a perfectionist. And sometimes that sucks. I’ve realised I need to cut myself some slack and stop, stupidly, letting tiny setbacks send me crashing needlessly into unhealthy and unnecessary amounts of self-loathing and self-destruction. I need to stop demanding a quick-fix for everything, instead realising that if something is worth having it will take time. I need to remember that of course everything I want won’t go exactly how I hoped all the time. I’m human. That’s life. And that’s goddamn okay.

Real success will only come when we embrace failure, redefine it. Failure can only come when we allow it; when we set ridiculous, unrealistic goals and quickly stop trying. When something small feels like it has ruined all our intentions, we have to view it in perspective and remember all is not lost; we can and should carry on, without feeling useless or defeated.

You only have to look at Jesus to realise, of course, this is so important! This post wasn’t actually intended to be a particularly God-centred topic, but it’s sort of just hit me! Forgiveness is arguably the concept most fundamental and central to the Christian faith. God loves and forgives us through everything; it’s unconditional and incredible. And we need it! Without such grace we would be thrown out of God’s approval within seconds. We can’t keep up to His standards by our own efforts, because they really are perfect.

At the great price of the life of Jesus Christ, God models perfect forgiveness. A day where I forget to pray doesn’t lead to God striking me down. A week of my gossip hurting a friend grieves God greatly, but doesn’t have him closing doors for the rest of my life. Even a lifetime lived as though God were not there, hating and ignoring Him, can never make Him turn His back and ignore us; still He is always longing to see us come back to Him.

It is this great forgiveness we should strive to not only appreciate, but to practice. I’ve only just thought about how I’ve never applied that to myself before. Forgiving someone who has let you down can be extremely difficult. But for me, I think often my greatest challenge is treating myself in the same way. I am quick to make right with other people but slow to show myself kindness. I cannot bear conflict with others but battle with myself inside. I’m aware it could come across as such, but I don’t think this realisation is a selfish one; it’s simply an acknowledgement that we all need grace, and must learn to accept that from ourselves as well as to show it to others.  

So, I’ve made a fair number of resolutions for 2016. But right at the top is this most important one: When I start to think I’ve “failed” at all of these resolutions, I will not beat myself up. I will not ignore/ruin all my efforts thus far, and I will not stop trying. One day of “failure” does not undo a year’s success.

Happy New Year. May your 2016 be full of aspiration, belief, forgiveness, humility and resilience. May “success” be whatever you make it, and may every small victory be celebrated.

[emilyclare18]

Wisdom

My trusty devotionals book has had me thinking about wisdom this week. Timely; as per the last post, I think I could do with some! Wisdom is an interesting concept. It’s more than knowledge, more than success. It’s something that comes largely from life and experience. But it’s also something God says He will give to us, if we seek it.

I’m not sure how many people particularly want to be ‘wise’. If someone asks your ambitions, ‘gaining wisdom’ isn’t the first thing most people will think of, I’d bet. You’d want more concrete stuff, like knowledge, success, friendships, possessions. But just think how beautiful a quality is wisdom!? Thinking about what it means to be ‘wise’, I’ve come to realise it’s something I actually really, really want.

The wise person is calm; they have that unshakeable inner peace that comes from trusting God in every situation, thinking things through carefully and prayerfully. They are gentle, caring and inspirational. They nurture those around them and give good advice. They keep their word. They know what really matters to them and they protect it; they don’t get drawn in by meaningless fads or false promises. They hate what is wrong yet are quick to forgive. They work hard. The wise person is quietly confident, yet infinitely humble.

This is such a beautiful picture. These are the marks of the wise.

Proverbs is full of little bitesize nuggets of wisdom. The biblical equivalent of a comedian’s “one-liners”, if you will. It’s poetic, written by a father in the hope that his child might live a wise life after reading it and taking it in. Proverbs 8 personifies wisdom as a strong, graceful woman, rooted in God and flourishing in life. Wisdom speaks, telling of her merits. It makes it easy for me to see the woman I want to be.

A bit earlier on, in Proverbs 3, there’s a lovely passage saying why we should desire wisdom:

Do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,     preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you,     an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety,     and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid;     when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster     or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side     and will keep your foot from being snared.

Wisdom is described like a decorative ornament; clearly visible to others, and a beautiful quality. I’m more than guilty of worrying about what I look like superficially; but really, this is the stuff that makes you truly attractive. I want that beautiful soul!

Wisdom protects us from the fear and worrying that keeps us up at night. Wisdom is rationality; it’s trust that God is in control of scary situations. It’s the calm and quiet assurance that “the Lord will be at your side”. The wise person remembers to pray, commit a problem to God, and sleep easy knowing He’s got their back.

Wisdom doesn’t happen overnight. But it’s something worth giving more credit. I know I’ve really over-used the word, but it’s beautiful. I want it! And, in time, God says He will give it. Even to me…?!

[emilyclare18]

I’ve done a lot of general life-evaluating lately. Sorting out what’s important to me, thinking about what makes me happy. Trying, as we all do, to strike a balance in life. And learning, sometimes the hard way, that getting your priorities wrong can result in ‘too much of a good thing’.

I’ll put my hands up right now, and say I’ve been dropping the ball in many aspects of life these last few weeks! Stresses from all angles made me feel pulled into loads of pieces. I wanted ‘me’ back but I didn’t know how; I didn’t have any one problem big enough to warrant feeling like that.

What I came to realise was that my real problem was my response. I was gradually burying my head in the sand about tiny things; preferring instead to call my boyfriend, or get him to come and stay for ‘just one more day’, to provide welcome comfort and distraction. It’s unbelievably great to have that kind of support on tap. But I’d got into a downward spiral: madly stressing myself out by cramming uni life into half a week, just so that he might be able to come and magic that stress away again at the weekend. It seems obvious and stupid, but I’m a blind fool! What I looked to as a solution was, by nature, deepening the problem. I became so much more stressed in the long run, and neglected important other parts of my life. I needed the balance back.

Where does that balance come from? Well, looking to God is always a good start. And recently He’s given me the huge concept of idolatry to chew over. Scary, huh? Bear with me…

The bible has a lot to say about idols. We know we shouldn’t worship anything that’s not God, or exalt something else to God’s level. But using these big words- ‘idolising’, ‘worshipping’- can let us off the hook sometimes; after all, it’s hardly like I spend my weekends bowing in front of a statue I built, like some of the dudes in the bible… The strong language demonstrates the seriousness of ‘demoting’ God in our lives, but we also need to watch out that it doesn’t make idolatry seem so extreme that it seems like we’re never guilty. Recently I’ve defined it this way:

If we look to anything that’s not God to solve all our problems, it’s an idol.

It’s hard, because usually those things we risk idolising are brilliant wonderful things. People we love, places we feel safe, things we enjoy doing; good gifts from God himself! We just need to keep going back to the giver; being grateful and acknowledging the source rather than idolising the gift.

When it’s people we put on that pedestal, it’s even more important. It’s unfair to place so much pressure and dependence on someone we love to fulfil all our needs; it’s not humanly possible! So many relationships fail because someone expects their partner to ‘be their everything’. It’s a balance; you can still rely on someone and love them, without seeing them as the one answer to everything. You need to bring problems to God as well; acknowledge them and ask His help in fixing them, instead of ignoring them.

I’m sure this really isn’t the world’s most coherent piece of writing. But, in essence, what I’ve learned and am trying to say is that ‘idols’ are sneakier than we realise. I’m trying to say that God is the only one who can provide real, total fulfilment and satisfaction. I’m trying to say that a happy life needs balance, and all good things in the correct proportion. And I’m trying to say sorry for taking so long to realise all this; to my longsuffering boyfriend who I piled too much on, to my wonderful friends at uni who I neglected to give proper time to, and to God my heavenly father whose sufficiency and wisdom I failed to recognise. I’m clocking on now…. Don’t panic team, Em’s back.

[emilyclare18]

Waste not, want not

Today I had a really exciting breakfast. Yep, sure, that doesn’t exactly sound like a topic enough to fill a whole blog post but hear me out…. I made a gorgeous baked oatmeal dish from a whole load of fruit that would otherwise have been thrown out and gone to complete waste! I had a highly exciting trip to Morrison’s last week, whereupon I picked up a good 25 apples, plus 2 punnets of fresh cranberries, for a grand sum total of around 50p. Bargain!

^mmmm, look at it....

Anyway, the reason I could get all this so cheaply was because Morrison’s have pledged to throw away less of their fresh produce. Before recently, my lovely fruit would have been long lost in the rubbish. Morrison’s “Love food, hate waste” campaign makes them the first major supermarket to actively minimise what is thrown away, and donate all surplus food to charity.

This is a game-changer. We needlessly waste so much in this country and this needs to change.

It may sound silly, but even my morning spent baking shows how those fresh ingredients were certainly too good to throw away. And there’s so much more where that came from; many products are not even considered worthy of the supermarket shelves in the first place, for trivial, aesthetic reasons. It’s our responsibility as consumers to not just accept, but to demand these slightly-less-than-picture-perfect products; both for the sake of our environment and for those who produce them for us.

It’s not only about food. In our society, everything is replaceable. Many things someone may once have mended are now far cheaper and easier to just buy a new one. However, this impacts on our world far more than we might consider when we chuck something in the bin. Waste builds up and must be disposed of somehow, filling more and more landfill sites. Processing and delivering the sheer volume of “stuff” we demand on a daily basis depletes huge fuel supplies, and pumps emissions into the atmosphere; not to mention the huge monetary costs.

Closer to home, the ‘replaceability’ of everything also impacts on our own minds and attitudes. Have we lost sight of the true value of the things we are blessed to own? Do we stop to think about those people who have nothing, when we casually throw away something we take for granted? It’s true that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”- so remember the things that could be given away, reused, re-purposed.

Yes, it is the responsibility of the big supermarkets to sort out the food waste problem. It’s brilliant that Morrison’s have taken the first step; the others need to follow the example and more! But it is also the responsibility of the individual to demand this, and to take similar actions in their own lifestyle. We can give all our old stuff to charities instead of throwing it out. We can plan what to eat, any only buy what we will need; freeze food if it’s about to go bad, and use it when we are ready (you can freeze more than you think!). We can buy local produce, that hasn’t used a tonne of fuel to get to our town. We can try to fix something before we write it off. And, perhaps overarching it all, we can thank God for the abundance of things he’s given us; we can stop and appreciate the many material blessings that we have. We can try to use them responsibly, for the benefit of people and the planet, and for the glory of the one who provides them all.