Not Important

A place where I can vent. TW: Mentions of EXTREME abuse, r*pe, s*lf h*rm, s*icide, ED thoughts DNI Transphobes, Homophobes, Ableists, TERFS, Nazis, Racists (Basically if you have a fucked up moral compass dont even fucking dare)

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

MY DIAGNOSIS

Psychological/Neurological:

▪︎Autism Spectrum Disorder, Low Support Needs (formerly known as Aspergers, obvious reasons to hate that name), [Diagnosed at age 14, diagnosis taken away at 21]

▪︎ Bipolar Disorder (II) [Diagnosed in 2018] (I think this was a misdiagnosis)

▪︎Borderline Personality Disorder [pre-diagnosed at 14, official diagnosis in 2018, mostly recovered]

▪︎PTSD [Diagnosed in 2017]

▪︎Depression [Diagnosed in 2009]

▪︎Anxiety [Diagnosed in 2009]

▪︎Gender Dysphoria [Diagnosed in 2018]

▪︎ OCD [Preliminary Diagnosis in 2025] (Probably had a lot to do with the BPD diagnosis in my teens)

▪︎ Trichotillomania [Diagnosed in 2004 at age 7]

▪︎ ADHD [Diagnosed in 2004 T age 7]

Physical:

▪︎Patella Alta [Diagnosed in 2019]

▪︎ Femoral Anteversion [Diagnosed in 2025]

▪︎ Hyperlipidemia [Diagnosed 2024]

▪︎ Hypertension [Diagnosed 2024]

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

How long can one bury their thoughts and emotions out of shame until one kills themselves? Asking for a friend...

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I wish I didnt learn about the Chagas Disease outbreak in the United States when I live in a state with kissing bugs and have personally seen a few before cause now Im terrified I was bitten by one once while I was asleep and I have the parasite now. :)))

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I finally opened up to my psychiatrist about my deepest most shameful intrusive thoughts I get, one that only my wife knows about...they're so bad that I don't even like talking about it at all. Every time I try to open up about them, people get the wrong idea. Part of it is a fear of persecution but also revolves around a deeply horrible subject. He finally is taking me seriously. He now believes that I have OCD and he is FINALLY starting me on the SSRI fluvoxamine instead of SNRIs. SNRIs always made my intrusive thoughts way worse. He told me that I harbor a lot of unnecessary deep guilt. I know this. I have known this but I cant stop it. I finally feel some kind of relief, but I just fucking HOPE this medication is the one that will work.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

LMAO I JUST FOUND OUT MY BIRTHDAY FALLS IN OCD AWARENESS WEEK???

[renolunio]

fuckk my ocd life

[sarahkujo]

Health anxiety ocd

[kultklassic]

The anxiety paradox where you’re so afraid of dying that you’re barely even living

[echosofthedamned]

some moral ocd haver with 4 followers: hmmm.... i dont know... saying puppies dont deserved to be kicked seems kind of risky. what if im not as well-spoken as i think and people misunderstand me and think im actually pro puppies getting kicked? maybe this can just stay in the drafts. i dont want to come off as an deplorable force of evil

[uncoordinatedgremlin]

THIS.

What if saying "puppies don't deserve to get kicked" sounds like I'm implying someone who ISN'T a puppy SHOULD get kicked?

What if saying "puppies don't deserved to get kicked" proves I'm morally out-of-touch because multiple wars are happening and I'm over here talking about puppies?

Haha, I'm switching OCD meds and thus currently taking nothing. Can you tell?💀

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I hate how much I relate to this. This exact thing is the reason I dont engage in social justice and political discussions EVER. Not because I dont care. Not because I'm burying my head in the sand. Its because I'm terrified I'm gonna say the wrong thing, or say something that reads as wrong, and hurt someone.

[uncoordinatedgremlin]

THANK YOU REBLOGGER, because I was legit starting to think I was the only one.

It's such a double edged sword, and it's torture.

If you engage, your OCD spirals.

If you don't engage, it STILL spirals, because people accuse you of "burying your head in the sand" or worse, being "complacent," or "a bystander."

Avoidance is a compulsion! Not a choice!

And compulsions can't be fixed overnight. It's incredibly hard. Please be patient with us, and don't trigger us further. It only makes the compulsion worse.

Especially when the moral OCD is paired with autonomy-related obsessions.

[echosofthedamned]

some moral ocd haver with 4 followers: hmmm.... i dont know... saying puppies dont deserved to be kicked seems kind of risky. what if im not as well-spoken as i think and people misunderstand me and think im actually pro puppies getting kicked? maybe this can just stay in the drafts. i dont want to come off as an deplorable force of evil

[uncoordinatedgremlin]

THIS.

What if saying "puppies don't deserve to get kicked" sounds like I'm implying someone who ISN'T a puppy SHOULD get kicked?

What if saying "puppies don't deserved to get kicked" proves I'm morally out-of-touch because multiple wars are happening and I'm over here talking about puppies?

Haha, I'm switching OCD meds and thus currently taking nothing. Can you tell?💀

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I hate how much I relate to this. This exact thing is the reason I dont engage in social justice and political discussions EVER. Not because I dont care. Not because I'm burying my head in the sand. Its because I'm terrified I'm gonna say the wrong thing, or say something that reads as wrong, and hurt someone.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

Holy fucking shit I hate Buspar. I hate these heart palpitations. I just want them to stop.

I cant decide if I want to quit or lower the dose. Doc started me at 20mg a day (two 10mg twice daily). That is way too high.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I stopped taking Buspar over a week ago. Went cold turkey and the palpitations completely stopped. And I also realized that Buspar made the intrusive thoughts WAY WORSE. I feel so much better now that I've stopped taking them. I still get intrusive thoughts but theyre not as intense and terrifying as they were while I was taking the meds.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

I hate intrusive thoughts because when my wife travels on the highway, I start panicking that im gonna get news that she died in a horrible car accident. Im scared to acknowledge these thoughts because now that im talking about it, im manifesting that outcome and if it happens, I killed my wife. Isnt OCD fun?

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

Holy fucking shit I hate Buspar. I hate these heart palpitations. I just want them to stop.

I cant decide if I want to quit or lower the dose. Doc started me at 20mg a day (two 10mg twice daily). That is way too high.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

TW: health obsessions

I saught help for my intrusive thoughts and internalized compulsions in hopes of getting an OCD duagnosis for treatment. These thoughts and compulsions have become dibilitating and they are interfering with my job and my relationships. I spend HOURS a day researching dangerous or terminal medical conditions that I think I might have, ruminating and analyzing my body sensations, checking for cancer lumps, and even analyzing my poadt because of great fears of moral failings or causing harm to the point I'm wasting my entire day away trying to soothe the anxiety caused by the thoughts. Im not even living anymore. Its consumed me. Its eating my life away. My counselor now is thinking my diagnosis is likely ADHD and I'm so fucking frustrated right now cause I looked into how ADHD can mimic OCD and it says both have intrusive thoughts but ADHD compulsions are driven by compensating for poor working memory and OCD are driven by anxiety. I feel the anxiety. I feel the anxiety INTENSELY in response to the intrusive thoughts. I compulsively check to soothe the debilitating anxiety. I feel like I'm not being listened to. I tried to make this abundantly clear to multiple practitioners. I dont know what to do anymore. I want to give up.

[reeeneeereee]

(person who suspects they have ocd voice): what if every time i think something is an ocd symptom im actually faking it and stereotyping and ruining the lives of people with real ocd and im a terrible person

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

You ever feel bad about talking about your intrusive thought themes in the context of ocd because you feel like youre faking it for attention at that youre a terrible person for doing so despite suffering greatly to the point of it interfering with your work life and your relationships? No? Just me? Well fuck.

[emoguyventsaboutnothing]

Hey it's been a bit. I started on Wellbutrin and Buspar 5 days ago and my anxiety and intrusive thoughts are worse. I'm wired to hell and back right now, have only slept maybe 3 hours in 40 hours. I am obsessively researching wellbutrin and now I'm hung up on the fact that it can raise blood pressure (sometimes dangerously) and I have treated and reggularly monitored stage two hypertension through losartan. I cant fall asleep cause I feel my pulse through my body and I start paying too much attention to my heart rate and rhythm and my breathing and now im focusing way too much on those things and I feel trapped. I feel lower back pain but honestly it just has to be from stress tension. I have to avoid checking my body. I am starting to think wellbutrin isnt the fit for me. It worked better when I was more depression dominant but anxiety/possible OCD took over my life and I think the Wellbutrin is making it MORE severe. I want to maybe try Luvox next or something. I need an actual SSRI.