[emotionalmarigolds]

“But he’s not real,” she said. “I know,” I started, “but he was real in my life. He was my childhood, my imagination, and my safe haven. That world was my home when I didn’t want to be home.” I shrugged with a shudder as tears clouded my eyes. “I couldn’t possible thank him enough for saving me and being there for me when no one would. He didn’t look like me, didn’t speak like me, didn’t act like me but he was my family. That might sound crazy but he made me feel like family.” She looked at me, raised her eyebrows with a shrug, and walked away. I turned back towards the window and leaned against it. The rain thundered outside. I hugged the book in my hands that started it all. I smiled, “Happy birthday Harry Potter.”

E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

I fear I don't have much time left then I fear that I do.

I’m sorry I’ve been gone. I am forever struggling. // E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

It’s the end of November and the leaves are crisp and crack on the streets. I love you. December looked upon my shoulder and blew its wind against my back. I love you. I closed my eyes and and let the cold cradle me. I love you. I walked down the cusp of November to December looking for the line of ice that separated you and me. To see if I could possibly crack the ice to break the barrier to tell you, I love you.

E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

I don’t want him to become a memory.

I loved him dearly. He was real and I loved him dearly.//E.M.//8 words #98

[emotionalmarigolds]

I have fallen. I have fallen and I continue to do so each day. I have not learned how to keep my feet steady. I have not mastered the ability to stand upright. I have not taught my legs to stop shaking. But I will try and try and try.

E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

Closed

    Untouched, horny, and ready was what I started with. I needed something but my body debated with my fingers typing. Big, scarred, and disfigured my body was and there was never a day I didn’t tell it so.     So, I wrote to him, “Untouched, horny, and ready but your eyes would always need to be closed.”        “Why,” he stupidly replied.        “You’re so dumb,” I sent back.         With a frustrated sigh I threw the phone beside me and imagined him there. His eyes were shut tight and my hands cupped his. I guided him to the places that I didn’t cry for and I relived in the feeling of that momentary stolen bliss. But the hands touching me felt like my own and the buzzing of my phone hauled me from my pathetic imagination. My hands cradled my phone as I looked at the screen.    “Fuck it. I didn’t want to fuck your fat ass anyway."

[emotionalmarigolds]

I will forever want to be a flower.

E.M.//8 words #97

[theprocast]

If your heart is aching, if you feel like there is not enough blood pumping in your veins to keep you upright, if you feel like death looks prettier than life, please, say something. Do not let the pain of the world just rest on you. Someone loves you. Trust me, someone loves you or will you love. I love you! Your death will cause pain and it will reverberate throughout this world. Your presence will be missed. Yes, you! So, please, let these words course through you and take a breath. Feel it. You’re here. You’re supposed to be here.

E.M. (via theprocast)

[theprocast]

I remember the way the music flowed through me and I felt whole for that moment. Like, I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t scared anymore. The things that I was feeling was valid and someone understood me. Linkin Park’s music helped me, a brown girl in the middle of the hood and completely misunderstood. Thank you Linkin Park. Thank you Chester. I hope your soul has found the peace you could not find on earth. Sleep well, Chester Bennington.

E.M. (via theprocast)

[emotionalmarigolds]

2k!!!!!!!

No words. Much love always. ❤️❤️

[emotionalmarigolds]

I always write the letters of your name in between mines.

Just to see if we fit.//E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

Do not let anyone tell you your heart is weak for loving someone so much it fills you up. They are the ones that are weak for not knowing what a fulfilled love looks like.

E.M.

[emotionalmarigolds]

It’s exhausting holding the things that I know.

I’m tired of being an emotional burial ground.//E.M.//8 words #96

[emotionalmarigolds]

We should strive to leap at the sky.

Only to see if we’ll fly.//E.M.//8 words #95

[emotionalmarigolds]

I have always abandoned my books halfway through.

Do not trust me with your heart.//E.M.//8 words #94

[theprocast]

Death smelled like nothing and moved like air. I have nothing to look to and I cannot go back. Memories are harsh and pain me with every waking thought. How can all of this be? Is this really my reality? Why me? Why him? I’m so frustrated with feeling this way. He was a human being. He was a part of my family. He was my brother. Why give me a life with him when he could be taken like that, just in a day.  How is it that I am here, half alive, barely living, when someone I loved is not even in existence anymore? How in the hell is that possible? And would I even want to know the answer? I feel tired, I feel alone, and just so damn sad. This love that I have for him is laying to rest inside of me and I have no idea what to do with it. I miss him. I loved him. I love him.

E.M. (via theprocast)

[emotionalmarigolds]

Made by @oceans7. Thank you so much!