EMTP-RJ

Name's Rj. I'm a paramedic on the path to trauma surgery. Medicine is my life. Writer, pansexual, tattooed, sarcastic, outdoor enthusiast, and occasional bass player. This is the delightful tangle of chaos that is my mind. -Rj

[miserableeuphoria]

[emt-rj]

I could never

[my-gender-is]

my gender is [predictive text]

[official-lucifers-child]

my gender is gender

good job predictive text, you aren’t entirely wrong for once

[accounting-wunderkind]

My gender is a very good idea

Well predictive text was wrong on that one

[trainbowrocketmoved-deactivated]

my gender is not 

[xoxolosergirl]

My gender is a little bit more than I can do with my life

[man-me--a-sand]

my gender is in

i have the most in style gender, beat that

[cheese-greater-official]

M’y gender is gender gender identity and sexuality gender sexuality or gender sexuality and gender gender identity

I just kept going hoping something different would happen and It didn’t-

[theghostreblogs]

My gender is based off in the dark and dark dark

All I can think of is Light em Up by Fall Out Boy now.

[leg-stealing-bee]

My gender is tittys

No this is wrong

[themoonismybeloved]

my gender is slorpsages JFSDL;FSAKFJDSA i-

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

My gender is the same as the as a reference

I have no idea what this means

[toadink2005]

My gender is a good reason to not die

I mean I guess yea

[bblackwwood]

my gender is not too bad for my anxiety

okie dokie then

[mr-flamed-maple-deactivated2020]

My gender is a thing

Yeah yeah

[antifasuki-deactivated20201216]

My gender is a total of the brain cells in the world.

Wait what?!?

[rvlyrik]

my gender is in my alignment chart

uhhhh which one?

[astro-inthestars-deactivated202]

My gender is attack helicopter

Yo whAT THE FUCK–

[bitchassslytherinsnakery]

My gender is no longer in my name

Fair enough

[spirallingintotheabyss]

My gender is not available

Oh ok

[deadredactedwalking-deactivated]

my gender is a little bit too late for me to get a new one

[g00d-cr1mes-w1th-sc4r-moved]

My gender is not gender

Alright then

[catamelon]

My gender is a social construct

Yes, yes it is

[urlocallovelyqueer]

My gender is it angel

Uhm? Am I secretly Azi? If so, where’s my dæmon, Cowley?

[catamelon]

Yesss I love that

[gee-whatsgoingonhere]

My gender is being a part of the house and every one of the house

Thank you predictive text

[boy-howdy-i-like-worms]

my gender is not the same

[isopodbug]

My gender is lad

[me-is-confused]

My gender is that i can get you

What? Nope, my aroace ass don’t want that 😂

[thereisnocorrectanswer]

My gender is est un site de vente en ligne

I shouldn’t have made my phone French, I don’t understand it

[realmagpiehours-deactivated2022]

My gender is trans and the dark is so cool

This is true

[secondbeatsongs]

“My gender is a good thing for you to do with the Backstreet Boys and Girls Club of America”

i’m SCREAMING, oh my god

that…it kills me

[emt-rj]

My gender is so weird lol

Well there you have it, folks.

[secondbeatsongs]

Visit Original Link

uhh I’ve never done this before? but I felt compelled to make this, soo…here’s “Potential Breakup Song”, except it’s also the Gravity Falls theme

e-enjoy?

[secondbeatsongs]

Visit Original Link

“Bad Romance” with every first beat removed

[cryoverkiltmilk]

I listened, waited, and…

[secondbeatsongs]

Jessie is a warlock patron

FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, because I’ve spent most of this evening creating a 5e character sheet for Jessie, who is indeed a warlock!

I’ve decided that Jessie’s Girl (his patron) is the archfey Queen of Air and Darkness, because:

has no name

chilling eldritch beauty

invisible, but if perceived with magic, has “blood-black eyes”

idk, she just seems cool

after I’m done with Jessie, I’m also going to roll a character sheet for his sad best friend: Rick Springfield. He’s just a simple bard who doesn’t understand how warlocks work, and who can’t figure out his own gay feelings. <3

(my DM is gonna kill me next campaign)

HEY.

THE QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS, RULER OF THE WINTER COURT, THE ARCHFEY HERSELF DOES HAVE A NAME.

AND IT IS MAB. AND I LOVE HER.

[secondbeatsongs]

YES

BUT WITHIN THE D&D MYTHOS, HER TRUE NAME WAS LOST AND NEVER SPOKEN AMONG THE FEY, SO SHE REMAINS NAMELESS

SO FOR NOW, SHE’S JUST GONNA BE “JESSIE’S GIRL”

[thevoidwatches]

Okay, but what about the other nameless warlock patron, Stacy’s Mom?

[secondbeatsongs]

I…holy shit

*digs through desk, finds another blank character sheet*

*opens lyrics in a new tab*

Okay. Here’s what we know about Stacy’s Mom:

Has a job (goes on business trips)

Her residence has a lawn and a pool

Sometimes walks around in just a towel

and, most importantly:

She’s got it goin’ on

I…so…here’s my thought process

if Jessie’s Girl is The Queen of Air and Darkness, does that mean Stacy’s Mom is…Titania? The Queen of Light?

She’s a queen and a strategist, so she’s definitely got a job that could require her to go on business trips. And as ruler of the Seelie Court, her residence has more lawn and pool than anybody could ever ask for.

(and hey, based on her many artistic depictions, she wears as much or as little as she feels like, so the towel thing checks out too.)

nobody better mess with Stacy, because Stacy’s Mom will fuck you up

[nudityandnerdery]

But if you aren’t feeling like an Archfey patron, might I suggest the Great Old One known only as….

Jolene.

[libraryogre]

Don’t forget the infernal patron, Devil with a Blue Dress On

[secondbeatsongs]

hey, look!

happy 666 notes to this post!

[quotemadness]

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been me.”

— Fernando Pessoa

[secondbeatsongs]

Visit Original Link

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

[pucket]

[lizardsister]

YOU’RE STUBBORN, JEANS STOLEN, NIGHT ROWING

THINK YOU’RE BABY?

[retroactivebakeries]

[emt-rj]

Me: *completely writes a DnD campaign from scratch*

My players: *asks a question I didn’t begin to consider*

Me: no clue. Whoever wrote this module is a fucking hack

[babyanimalgifs]

[ampervadasz]

[ofkindnessandchaos-deactivated2]

OMFG.

[all-aboard-the-bane-train]

Very curious doggo

[castle-engineer-deactivated2019]

Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.

[willow-wanderings]

TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD

[dykelliewilliams]

Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and

[loudestcrowdever]

THIS IS SO CUTE OMG

[emt-rj]

Matchstick Chronicles

A fantasy adventure novel detailing the adventures of a young woman and a centuries old dragon trying to find their place in the world.

Hey guys. I recently started a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the publishing of my debut novel, Matchstick Chronicles. We’re currently a little over 50% of the way there, so if you could please check it out, share the link, and maybe. Just maybe. Contribute anything to help out, I’d be eternally grateful and incredibly humbled.

The novel is a fantasy adventure story following a young woman and an ancient dragon she bonds with as they attempt to save their world from evil forces. If that sounds up your alley, please consider checking the campaign out. Thank you guys.

Walk well,

Rj

[emt-rj]

Hey guys! We are officially in the last 48 hours of the campaign! Everything wraps up Sunday evening, so if you want to get the Kickstarter version of my novel, this is your chance. You’ll still have the opportunity to purchase a regular copy after the campaign ends, if you so desire, but I’ll only be offering the initial, special editions through Kickstarter, so grab yours while you can! Thank you all so much for sharing the campaign and for every penny that’s been pledged. I couldn’t have done this without you guys.

Walk well,

Rj

[emt-rj]

Matchstick Chronicles

A fantasy adventure novel detailing the adventures of a young woman and a centuries old dragon trying to find their place in the world.

Hey guys. I recently started a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the publishing of my debut novel, Matchstick Chronicles. We’re currently a little over 50% of the way there, so if you could please check it out, share the link, and maybe. Just maybe. Contribute anything to help out, I’d be eternally grateful and incredibly humbled.

The novel is a fantasy adventure story following a young woman and an ancient dragon she bonds with as they attempt to save their world from evil forces. If that sounds up your alley, please consider checking the campaign out. Thank you guys.

Walk well,

Rj

[emt-rj]

Alright! We are down to the last week! This has been a complete whirlwind of a month for me. Between lining up an editor, preparing a website, and getting an artist set for a cover unique to the Kickstarter editions, I am up to my elbows in prep work to ensure this book is the best it can be, and that the version you’ll get through this campaign is a special piece that stands out on shelves. The fact that we blew through the initial goal is giving me a lot of room for tweaks and unique additions to this campaign itself. If you guys haven’t pledged yet, but still want to, there’s still time!

Thank you all for your support so far! I’ll see you all in a week!

Walk well,

Rj

[probablybadrpgideas]

Campaign to run for one player: It’s a lovely day in the Forgotten Realms, and you are a Horrible Dragon

[emt-rj]

Matchstick Chronicles

A fantasy adventure novel detailing the adventures of a young woman and a centuries old dragon trying to find their place in the world.

Hey guys. I recently started a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the publishing of my debut novel, Matchstick Chronicles. We’re currently a little over 50% of the way there, so if you could please check it out, share the link, and maybe. Just maybe. Contribute anything to help out, I’d be eternally grateful and incredibly humbled.

The novel is a fantasy adventure story following a young woman and an ancient dragon she bonds with as they attempt to save their world from evil forces. If that sounds up your alley, please consider checking the campaign out. Thank you guys.

Walk well,

Rj

[rhysiana]

Me: *writing*

Me: *reads what I just wrote*

Me: Huh. Well, that’s clearly foreshadowing.

Me, the author: I wonder what of…

[tiktoks-we-like]

[drawingdeamon]

manager: you’re gonna greet the customer normally this time?

employee: yes 

m: ok. gonna do a good job?

e: yes? oh my god?

Customer: [enters]

e: hi :) welcome to the sunglass hut :) im the sunglass slut :) can i get you anything?

[iamthebl00dinyourveins-deactiva]

Visit Original Link

[lets-process-our-day-blog]

You are the smell before rain You are the blood in my veins Call me a safe bet, I’m betting I’m not I’m glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget..