Cicero Fan Club

they/he autistic nerd gonna drop some crazy knowledge get ready ——————— Sports Sideblog: @enbytwinksports

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Achilles sucks. Hector is cool

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When Hector’s mother Hecuba is attempting to get Hector to return to the safety of the walls of Troy and to not make his fateful stand against Achilles, she pleads with him by showing him her breast. Now, I want to preface by emphasizing the symbolism and meaning of this action; she’s showing him the breast he was fed on and the breast on which he cried as a child. However, look at it this way:

You’re one of the most feared warriors in the war. You’ve decided that this is where you will make your final stand. Your entire nation is watching on from safety, hoping, pleading that you will bow out to fight another day. Your dad (The King) is practically pulling his hair out to plead with you. Your mom (The Queen), who let’s keep in mind, is probably in her 60s, pulls out her tit, and goes “hey son, don’t be an idiot, because of my booby.”

Like… just such a weird mental image. Could you imagine?

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I think that attempting to litigate whether or not Elagabalus was a trans woman, is missing the point of their significance in history. Like it’s all well and good trying to work out what is Cassius Dio being an outrage gossip and what is true details about Elagabalus’ life, but I think the more notable details is that we have an account of Cassius Dio and ancient Roman knowing about what we would today call a transgender person. Like the references to attempting to pay a surgeon to craft a vagina, or “call me not a lord for I am a lady” are undoubtedly trans things and would be insanely weird if they happened to have been made up by a cis person with no knowledge of trans folks. This means that what we would today call trans people were not an unheard of concept in Cassius Dio’s day — not common — but just common enough to be believable slander against an effeminate teenager emperor.

Happy pride everybody.

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I still can’t get over how wild it is that Troy (like THE TROY from the Trojan War) is a real place that you, in the year of our Lord 2026 can go and visit. Ignoring scheduling, you could get on a plane to Türkiye and be in Troy tomorrow if you wanted. Like this isn’t just any 3,000+ year old city (not to say that they aren’t intrinsically cool), we still talk about Troy, all the time. Achilles’ heel, Achilles’ tendon, Trojan Horse, the word odyssey, Christopher Nolan is making a new film of the Odyssey for chrissake… like tell me this isn’t the coolest thing ever

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Totally not me watching the Germany v. Curaçao and hearing the announcer using the term Achilles’ heel and feeling vindicated.

Also shoutouts to Curaçao. They could totally make something out of a weak Group E (ignore the -5 goal difference)

Edit: -6 ofc they conceded again

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I still can’t get over how wild it is that Troy (like THE TROY from the Trojan War) is a real place that you, in the year of our Lord 2026 can go and visit. Ignoring scheduling, you could get on a plane to Türkiye and be in Troy tomorrow if you wanted. Like this isn’t just any 3,000+ year old city (not to say that they aren’t intrinsically cool), we still talk about Troy, all the time. Achilles’ heel, Achilles’ tendon, Trojan Horse, the word odyssey, Christopher Nolan is making a new film of the Odyssey for chrissake… like tell me this isn’t the coolest thing ever

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As much as it’s fun to make fun of Lepidus as not being deserving of being in the 2nd Triumvirate, which is kind of fair, we need to acknowledge that Lepidus won. I will admit that Augustus calling on Lepidus, a former consul and the current Pontifex Maximus, last at Senate meetings is really funny. But look at it like this, Lepidus got:

-A successful military career serving Rome

-A successful political career as a Consul and a Governor

-A peaceful retirement living to the old age of ~76

-Three decades as Pontifex Maximus

-To keep the city of Rome afloat for several years while Octavian and Antony were off waging wars

Certainly not as glamorous as 40 years as Emperor of Rome or hanging out in Alexandria with Cleopatra, but Lepidus survived. He also didn’t have to deal with Imperial politics for 40 years.

Think about how few prominent Roman politicians from the time of Caesar’s assassination got to live into old age and die of natural causes. Not many, but Lepidus is one of them.

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I find it amazing that Cicero doubted Julius Caesar would overthrow the institutions of the Roman Republic and institute dictatorship because he thought Caesar was a femboy:

"…when I look at his hair, which is arranged with so much nicety, and see him scratching his head with one finger, I cannot think that this man would ever conceive of so great a crime as the overthrow of the Roman constitution." (Plutarch, Life of Caesar, 4).

Scratching the hair with one finger was seen as an unmanly thing to do, as it was too effeminate. Never underestimate a femboy.

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🏳️‍🌈

Of course

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The word fascinate comes from Ancient Roman penis jewelry.

Fascinate comes from Latin fascino (to bewitch) which itself is derived from Latin fascinum which were phallus shaped amulets that the Ancient Romans used to protect themselves against magic. Hence why fascino became a verb for bewitching.

Like this all makes sense… but what…

Like look at this!