Always Awake

She/They / 26

[thegleamoftheknife]

Had to label the old trash barrels so the collectors would know to take them

[sabrecmc]

This should be the last post on tumblr before it is shut down.

[sonypraystation]

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

[robcanvas-deactivated20180718]

[sonypraystation]

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

[officialcrow]

they beat jesus with that

[sableleatherywingsopeninthe711]

having a normal one applying for jobs rn

[sableleatherywingsopeninthe711]

[officialunitedstates]

I don’t trust the media, too many acronyms.  what does cnn stand for?  literally no one knows the answer

[accioconfusion]

cable news network

[officialunitedstates]

could be.  literally no one knows

[dailyflicks]

TED LASSO | 1.03

[funnytwittertweets]

[thestrawberrydreams]

Inclusive language is for everyone!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Their boyfriend is their partner why is this hard to understand

[korben600]

Also, “partner” is just a good word? It implies an equal relationship where both of your work together in pursuit of something, whether that be life goals or just having fun together.

It’s a good word. People should use it more.

[transgender-rex]

[disclosureday]

these middle schoolers are touring campus and one of them walked by me and said “hey what’s college life like” and i told him “it sucks” and he said “well it can’t be any worse than middle school.” he’s right

[not-mary-sue]

Take these words through your darkest hour, for though we maybe tired and hungry, at least we’re not in fucking middle school

[ajhdklfsajklgfeasdfkjhlasdfdgf]

You’ve heard of a ball bearing, now get ready for…

A BEAR BALLING

[ilovecats4ever]

HOW ABOUT BARE BALLING?

[whats-a-bear]

LMAO

[demigodofhoolemere]

someone: *mentions a tri-state area*

my brain to this day:

[kil9]

i think a reason why so many people dont accept that every sexuality is inclusive of nonbinary people is because they think every sexuality must be inclusive of ALL nonbinary people, and that’s just not true. in reality it’s largely up to the individual nb person, and also where they align. 

im a masc aligned nb person, i feel comfortable being with people who are only attracted to men because im sort of somewhat a man, but i wouldnt be with someone who’s only attracted to women because im not at all a woman. another nonbinary person might be ok being with people who only like men AND people who only like women, if thats how they see themselves, while someone else might only want to be with bi/pan people because they dont see themselves aligned with either. but that does NOT mean bi/pan are the only sexualities that include nb people.

[funeral-clown]

i might just be autistic but data entry fucking rules dudes you just. enter the data. you take the data and you plug it in. then what? who knows! who cares. the data. has been entered. what next? buddy you’re not gonna believe this it’s more fucking data. excel used to be my enemy but now she is my best friend

[girlmostlikely]

[unclefather]

“Keep kids out of pride!” You dressed your newborn baby in a onesie that said “titty man just like my dad”

[mtfoss]

Do you think two girls could on purpose kissed?

[sapropel]

It would be tricky but I it could be tbe done

[mtfoss]

Working tirelessly in the lab to figure it out

[gayvampyr]

i would like all women to know how pretty i think they are

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[filmnoirsbian]