Clown By Blood. Corpse By Choice

charlie. 28. formerly darknessandterrorandkittens. 18+ only thanks. fighting for my life against the genre awareness. Writer for Above The Crowd Below The Lights (read my comic)

[bettyrightnow]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

[ivfhnyfubpx]

this scene is so fucking funny the english dub of this show is so good

[laughconfetti]

loud warning

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

[nunnatheinsanegerbil]

[teaboot]

Rolling on the floor sobbing and crying and losing my mind at “GET INSIDE THE VAAAAAAAAAAN”

[its-your-mind]

finally. an appropriate name for my ‘time to leave’ alarm.

[agpsoundsystem]

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[namethatghostling]

no more rum and cokes with bums and jokes, have a bloody mary with guy thats scary

[the-supernatural-atheist]

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

[enkephalinpilled]

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

[teaboot]

unfortunately, classifying all points as definitively false also presents your audience with data. you gotta present a mix of unverifiable information in a broad range of veracity. I don't have blood. I DO have teeth. How many teeth? 53. I subsist primarily on synthesized potassium compounds and sleep in my closet three nights a year

[charl0ttan]

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

[psychotic-gerard]

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

[psychotic-gerard]

pause i forgot cis people exist this was intended as a celebration of bottom surgery

[valtsv]

it's always "you gnawed off your own leg to escape like an animal caught in a trap" and never "why didn't anyone try to help you out of the trap" or "why weren't you provided with any other resources to escape the trap with except for your own teeth"

[trufflesmushroom]

[insomniac-arrest]

the road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People think hell can afford TWO roads? In this economy? You're taking the Good Intentions Highway both directions, mate.

[z-nogyrop]

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

[z-nogyrop]

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

[evstratt]

EVA STRATT + BOOK QUOTES PROJECT HAIL MARY

[emptysould]

[bumblebeebats]

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

[trangoldin]

[im-mender]

post: I noticed that in act 1 there's a loaded gun mounted on the wall there. I bet by the end of act 2 it will have been fired

all the replies: you're a fucking idiot

*after act 2*

all the replies: how the fuck did you know that

[im-mender]

okay but we can't know for sure that the loud noise and bright flash offstage—which occurred after the character who was holding the gun exited the stage with it—was a gunshot, because we didn't get to directly see it

[theonion]

In a statement that mourned “the extinguishing of one of the league’s oldest and most infernal lights,” the Washington Wizards announced Tuesday that the organization’s founding wizard, Osric the Baleful, had died at age 682, bringing to an end a centuries-long career in necromancy, prophecy, and NBA ownership.

Osric’s 1997 acquisition of the team then known as the Bullets is said to have taken place after an omen from the entrails of a hanged usurer convinced him that possession of a middling sports franchise would grant him an inexhaustible river of mortal anguish on which to float into eternity. Osric emerged from his crypt during a lightning storm and presented the team’s owners with a yellowed parchment granting him “full dominion over basketball in the District of Columbia, together with all courts, revenues, and towering gamesmen, who are hereby subject to permanent indentureship.” Before the owners could protest, the wizard had already turned them into wooden pestles.

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