ENFP Perspective

ENFP | 9w8 sx/sp | gemini | female | 24 yo | country: Slovakia | occupation: student Everything under the tag #interaction is a transcription of a real life conversation. All my friends have nicknames based on their traits.

[enfp-life]

I have a suspicion I might suffer from ADD. Unconfirmed and undiagnosed (I do plan to visit a psychologist tho), but from what I’ve read about it, I have every symptom of ADD. However, a lot of the symptoms also fit the description of ENFP personality. Now my question is - where does the personality end and the disorder begin? 

[anonymousintp]

How Does Each Personality Type Ask “Do You Love Me?”

▶ Harmony Types: ENFJ, INFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ

“Do you love me?”

Do you feel connected to me?

Will you check in and make sure I’m okay?

Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs?

Am I safe with you?

Do you accept and approve of me?

“Yes! I love you!”

I will meet your needs before I meet my own.

I will check in regularly and make sure you’re okay.

I will do my best to keep morale up.

I will show you appreciation in whatever way I’d like to be shown appreciation.

How it can be misinterpreted by other types: smothering, intrusive.

▶ Authenticity Types: ENFP, INFP, ESFP, ISFP

“Do you Love Me?”

Do you think I’m being real with you?

Do you trust my motives and my intent?

Will you support me no matter what – do you have my back?

Will you give me space to be “me?”

“Yes! I love you!”

I will be patient with your honest expressions.

I will honor your feelings and identity, even if it’s a struggle for both of us.

I will hold space for you, and give you alone time when you need it.

I will have your back no matter what the fight is.

I will trust you have my best interests at heart.

How it can be misinterpreted by other types: passive, self-absorbed.

▶ Effectiveness Types: ENTJ, INTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ

“Do you Love Me?”

Will you handle things – can I rely on you?

Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you’re “on it?”

Will you support my career and/or goals and be self-sufficient?

Are you loyal?

“Yes! I love you!”

I will be endlessly loyal on principle.

I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate.

I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments even before my own.

I will protect you.

I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.

How it can be misinterpreted by other types: controlling, distant, “unromantic”.

▶ Accuracy Types: ENTP, INTP, ESTP, ISTP

“Do you Love Me?”

Do you think I’m totally competent?

Are you impressed with my performance?

Do you trust that I’m not lying to you or B.S.’ing you in any way?

Does it make sense that you love me? That you stay with me?

 “Yes! I love you!”

I will be rigorously honest with you. If I have a ‘wandering eye’ I will tell you, and provide a solution.

I will gift you with my precision. I will learn you and give high performance at all levels.

I will protect you from others, but not from yourself.

I will never judge you. Instead, I will be there for you when things go bad, no matter why they went bad.

How it can be misinterpreted by other types: harsh, insensitive, cold.

Read more at Personality Hacker.

[risum-the-fuck]

xNxJ: Get up, the sun is shining.

xNxP: What should I do, photosynthesis?

[risum-the-fuck]

xNxP: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

xNxJ: If you say “addictionary” I swear to fucking God I will cut you.

xNxP: I was gonna say “high definition” but yours is better.

[enfp-life]

Yo I'm glad you're back. I wish you well :>

Thank you! Have a nice day, anon :)

[enfp-life]

Kind of funny that I decided to ‘come back’ on April Fools’ Day. Interpret it in any way you find appropriate.

[enfp-life]

Hey there. Do you remember me?

I cannot and will not make any promises but I might be back. Don’t expect a huge comeback, you’ll be disappointed.

I abandoned this blog 2 years ago. Where did I go, you ask? Depression. Disappointment. Deep abyss of life. (Worry not, it could have been worse.) When I got out of it, there was always a lot to do. In the past two years, 

I managed to finish my bachelor’s studies and start with my master’s; 

I identified myself as a polyamorous person and simultaneously landed in a serious monogamous relationship; 

I lost several friends; 

I found some ways to earn money; 

I developed my hobbies and my argumentation skills; 

I played in another two theatre plays;

I brought up some kittens;

and I generally tried to learn as much as possible.

Also, I finally found out which Hogwarts House I belong in. Take a guess.

So, why am I here?

It seems that suddenly everyone is talking about MBTI. My new roommate took the test, my fellow actress spent literally over 4 hours asking me questions about it once she found out I had taken some interest in it, we even discussed it at school (and my major is nowhere close to psychology or some kind of cognitive science). Satan, my ISTP friend, says these are all signs. So here I am. We’ll see where the hell will this lead me to.

If you want to, hit me with questions. I expect my ask to remain empty but... who knows? 

[enfp-life]

ENFP Problem #10

Feeling bad after refusing to give money to a homeless person.

[enfp-life]

ENFP: NO. I was just accidentally nice to that person I'm annoyed at!

ENFP: I will be HOT LIKE THE SUN. I must be MEANER THAN SOMEONE REALLY MEAN. YES.

ENFP: WHY DID I JUST MAIL THEM FLOWERS.

[enfp-life]

I MET AN ENFJ: A Summary

*bumping into each other at a theatre gathering*

ENFJ: Oh, hello!

ENFJ: Do you want a drink? This one's on me.

ENFJ: *staring into my soul for a while*

ENFJ: You know, at first I didn't like you because you were hugging all of my friends, but then I found out that you're actually a nice person.

ENFJ: It's a pity you don't drink alcohol. I can't ask you inappropriate personal stuff.

ENFJ: *spends the rest of the evening asking me about the loss of my virginity, my deepest insecurities, heartbreaks etc.*

[enfp-life]

I saw this on @markoftheestj‘s blog, soo, here we go!

Using only song names from 1 artist, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title, it’s a lot harder than you think! Pick your artist/band: Panic! at the Disco What is your gender: Victorious Describe yourself: Hurricane How do you feel: I Wanna Be Free Describe where you currently live: Bittersweet If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Behind the Sea Your favourite form of transportation: Time to Dance Your best friend is: The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty You and your best friend are: Mad as Rabbits Favourite time of day: When the Day Met the Night If your life was a TV show, what would the title be: She Had the World What is life to you: Golden Days Your relationship: Casual Affair Your fear: Memories

I had fun :D @naughty-nanny @artblog-of-intp @southern45acp wanna do that as well? Or anybody else?

[naughty-nanny]

5 Stages of a Relationship

Whether it is romantic or platonic, all relationships go through these five phases.

1. Merging & Infatuation This is what most people think of when they think of love or relationships in general. The first phase where you are so excited about all the similarities you and your new lover or your new friend have. At this point your brain is pumping out huge doses of neurochemicals to literally make you feel GREAT! You are constantly thinking about the other person and it seems like they can do no wrong because you are very likely do downplay their negative qualities and focus on the good.

2. Doubt & Denial This is when the feel good chemicals start wearing off and you start noticing the differences. A lot of relationships hang out in this stage for far too long because those realizations lead to doubt that this person is really as perfect as you thought and then usually to denial that there is really an issue at all. This is when you start sweeping things under the rug and thinking “Its not that big of a deal”. This is when you don’t bring things up because you are trying to pretend that you are still in the first stage and you don’t want to cause any conflict.

3. Disillusionment This is when you can no longer deny who your partner really is. The illusion that you were under when your brain was flooded with “feel-good” is broken and you see each other for all your good and bad. This is when the “power struggle” starts and when couples have more and more “You aren’t me” fights. Those are the fights in which you get mad at your partner for acting/thinking/doing differently than you would have. This stage is all about letting to of the ideal person you thought you were with and instead accepting the real person you are with.

4. Acceptance & Commitment This is when you have decided to still love the other person with all their shortcomings and flaws and have also decided not to try to change them. Even if you were committed before, this is the stage where you make the internal commitment to love and be with the real person you are with.

5. Partnership & Bliss This is the stage where happily old married couples are. They accept each other, they know each other, no one is hiding their true selves, and no one feels ashamed of who they are. Only by knowing and accepting each other can you form a true partnership where you take care of each other and make up for the other’s weaknesses while they make up for yours.

There are a lot of variations and elaborations on these stages from various sources, but these are the 5 stages reliably identified by peer reviewed studies. Most couples never get past stage 3. 

[fuliajulia]

We Need Another MBTI Ask.

1. What type is your arch nemesis?

2. What type are you most drawn to in fiction?

3. How did you get into typology?

4. Were you that dork who immediately typed all their friends? (cause i was)

5. Which type are you secretly afraid of?

6. What type is your mom friend?

7. What type is your mom?

8. Have you ever wasted your life on a typology forum? (also done this)

9. If so, where and what’s your username?

10. What type do you secretly have a crush on?

11. Which type would you eat first on a desert island?

12. Do you just not get along with any type?

13. Who represents your type to you?

14. Do people of your same type kinda annoy you?

15. MFK, all the types.

16. Do you know someone of every type?

17. What type will you always follow for?

18. Which type would you fight?

19. Which type would fight you?

20. Is there a type you have never met?

21. Who do you really want to be your type?

22. Which type do you think is most similar to a unicorn?

23. Which type confuses you?

24. Which type would you want to lead you into battle?

25. What is your most controversial MBTI opinion?

[naughty-nanny]

Intro to Enneagram

As many of you know, the Enneagram of Personality is another personality typology system used to describe and explain the variations between individual personalities. While Jungian Cognitive Functions describes how your mind processes and perceives information, the Enneagram describes what motivates your behaviors and actions. If MBTI is the “How”, Enneagram is the “Why”.

The Enneagram can get very overwhelming very quickly because it embraces a system of ever finer differentiation between types. My goal in this post is to show that it’s not really as complicated as it seems at first.

Three Emotions

The basic premise of the system is that each person’s strongest behavioral motivator is based in one of three core negative emotions; Fear, Anger, and Shame. So the first question to ask yourself is which of these three emotions you are more predisposed to. Which emotion makes you think “The struggle is real”?

Fear is the root cause of anxiety, which is an emotion some people find easier to pinpoint. This emotion is considered a “head” based emotion as fear and anxiety tends to be expressed in thoughts and worries and neuroticism. 

Anger and rage are often experienced as whole body flooding emotions, which is why it is considered a “body” based emotion. Just like fear can result in neuroticism, anger can result in force and attempts at control.

Shame is the last feeling, and is considered “heart” based. Shame is the feeling of not being good enough as you are and is the most likely of the three to result in self-hatred.

Take some time to really think about which of these three you struggle with more frequently in your life. We all encounter each of these in our day to day life (which we will come back to later), but try to determine which one is a greater factor for you personally. Once you have that answer, read on to see your next three options.

Three Methods

There are essentially three ways of managing a negative emotion; moving through it, resisting it, or avoiding it. The management method you tend to prefer is considered your primary enneagram type. So let’s look closer at these three methods in relation to the three emotions.

If Your Struggle is Shame…

Type 2s prefer to move through shame, processing it as useful emotion that tells them when they are acting “wrong”. 2s are referred to as helper types because to a 2, feeling ashamed means that you are not taking care of those persons which you should be. 2s default to lovingly giving to others expecting that if that love and help is not returned, the other party should feel ashamed and adjust accordingly. No one can shame someone who does nothing but help.

Type 3s prefer to resist shame by presenting a perfected image of themselves. 3s are referred to as achievers because to a 3, feeling ashamed means that someone has penetrated the psychological armor covering their true selves. 3s default to presenting an idealized image of themselves to the outer world in order to avoid the kind of criticism that can trigger shame. No one can shame someone who appears without a flaw.

Type 4s prefer to avoid shame by instead focusing on their most authentic individual self. 3s are referred to as individualists because to a 4, the only reason you would ever feel ashamed is if you are not being true to yourself. 4s default to resisting any external determinations of who they are because allowing outside forces to mold who you are is considered shameful. No one can shame someone who is different from everyone else.

If Your Struggle is Fear…

Type 5s prefer to move through fear, viewing it as a valid warning of danger or threats. 5s are referred to as investigators because they use skepticism and knowledge in an attempt to counteract fear. To a 5, the best way to handle fear is to master anything that makes you fearful, leading to a constant search for information, skills, resources and understanding so that they are never helpless. You can’t hurt someone who is always improving their defenses.

Type 6s prefer to resist fear by making themselves as non-threatening as possible and expecting the same of others. 6s are referred to as loyalists because they work to assure they themselves are as trustworthy and reliable as possible so that they can justify demanding the same of others. 6s naturally struggle with trust because of their high, sometimes unreachable, standards for trustworthiness in others. You can’t hurt someone who is constantly guarded.

Type 7s prefer to avoid fear by continually moving and ensuring their own freedom (and therefore escape route) is untouched. 7s are referred to as enthusiasts because they use optimism and excitement to counteract and avoid fear. 7s enjoy being in constant motion and react strongly to feeling confined or suppressed because to a 7 any situation can become unpleasant or painful so you must always maintain a way out. You can’t hurt someone who has already moved on.

If Your Struggle is Anger…

Type 8s prefer to move through anger, using it as a tool to bring control and order to their environment. 8s are referred to as challengers because they naturally move against those things which trigger their anger. To an 8, anger is something to be controlled and directed so that no one else controls them. 8s have a need to be in charge and respected. You can’t wrong someone who is always in control.

Type 9s prefer to resist anger by trying to maintain peace and understanding in all circumstances. 9s are referred to as mediators because they combat anger by seeking unified understanding. For a 9, anger means loss and fragmentation, which they combat with passive behavior and emphasizing unity and understanding. 9s avoid conflict at all costs because to them conflict will inevitably stir anger in someone. You can’t wrong someone who always agrees with you.

Type 1s prefer to avoid anger by striving for perfection in all circumstances. 1s are referred to as reformers because they combat anger with constant improvement. For a 9, anger can be avoided by ensuring that everything is as right as possible. You can’t wrong someone who is always right.

Stay tuned for future posts diving deeper.

[enfp-life]

THIS IS HOW I DEAL WITH OVERTHINKING

1. Take a step back.

You can overthink something that happened or something that might happen in the future. But the act of overthinking isn’t an issue of past or future - when it happens, it happens in the present moment. Realize it. Say, oh, right now I’m overthinking. Be aware of what your mind is doing.

2. Ask why.

Why are you overthinking? The issue must be something important for you, something you worry about or care about. It touched your feelings or values. Try to understand what is the reason behind it. Are you hurt? Scared? Confused? Be aware of your feelings.

3. So, what is the matter? What happened?

What are the facts and what are just your assumptions, possible misinterpretations or irrational worries? Realize that you might be wrong. You don’t know the persons feelings, thoughts and intentions. You can’t see the future. Take a deep breath and try to accept that you just don’t know. And not knowing is ok.

But you really do want to know, amirite? 

4. What can you do about it?

Can you approach the person to deal with the situation for good? Do it. Can you actually take some action to change the situation? Do it. Oh, you can’t? Is it worth overthinking and worrying then? Move forward. Is it something that haven’t happened yet? And what’s the point of worrying about something in the future? Worrying won’t help. You will find a way how to deal with it when it will be actually relevant.

Note: How do you deal with overthinking? Would you like to add something or disagree with something? Please, tell me.

[funkymbtifiction]

How to really know if you're Ne

BY kensei16

I thought about My dominant function and came up with a totally new and correct way to see it. Let me share it with you.

People always are saying that Ne is about changing hobbies and conversational topics frequently, brainstorming new ideas, and being a smart-ass. That is NOT Ne. Ne isn’t about changing hobbies, although they are open to change. Ne isn’t about brainstorming, since anyone can do that. Ne isn’t about being a witty smart-ass, because not every Ne user is going to be able to quickly generate a witty comeback unless they have a penchant for comedy.

What I truly see as the signature strength for Ne is openness. Ne often isn’t comfortable with one particular conclusion, they accept everything they imagine as being equally possible, and that’s why they are great at adapting and accepting people’s quirks and goals no matter how bizarre, since anything is possible in their minds.

So you really think you’re Ne huh? Okay how about a little quiz.

What if someone told you they wanted to do something that’s wildly imaginative and unrealistic to the common eye? Would you accept it as possible or even encourage the person to do it?

How about if someone asked you to give up your current life to go to a faraway country and learn some new secrets? Would you go even though there’s no guarantee of how things will turn out?

What if  you had a crush on someone? Would you refuse to take action towards getting him/her to like you simply because something better might pop up?

If you didn’t answer yes to all 3 of these, chances are you are not high Ne. It’s not enough to be creative and versatile. In order to be Ne, your life must be dominated by possibilities. Not goals, not facts, not vision, not the physical here and now. If you don’t consider every possibility as likely being true and if your decisions aren’t influenced by them in some way, then you aren’t Ne. If you don’t question your sanity at some point because you convinced yourself of something wildly unrealistic, you aren’t Ne. If something quirky or abnormal about someone bothers you rather than amuses you, you are not Ne.

Think about this when typing yourself as Ne.

Mod Note:

Interesting post!

But I’m going to take issue with one minor part of this, and that is the abandonment of your life to pursue exciting possibilities. Certainly, that is an impulse of high Ne. High Ne will even become very excited when talking about that possibility. It might even start buying a plane ticket.

But… let us hypothesize that said Ne-dom is solely responsible for an aging parent or a sibling with medical problems. They cannot drop everything and just leave – that would be irresponsible. What if Fi believed it was essential to commit to that family even at the cost of its own happiness? Sure, their heart would long for adventure, and yes, it would attract them – but Fi might come into play and say: I can’t do this. They need me here. To leave them like that would violate who I am. They would literally not do it, much as they wanted to, because they can’t.

On the flip side, Fe might also stop it – because my family needs me. I want to go, but I can’t, because I care about how they see me and how they feel about this.

You cannot just look at your impulses to discern cognition – you have to look also at what stops you from following them.

[enfp-life]

I, as a Ne-dom, must agree with Mod’s note rather than with the actual article. Those examples are Ne taken to the extreme - not balanced by Si or supported by Fi and Te, and, as such, it appears to me as unhealthy behaviour.

[savipra]

Interesting infographic from Anna Vital, Information Designer at Funders and Founders. 

[naughty-nanny]

This feeds my obsession wonderfully

[enfp-life]

I love this. Also, I identify with logical positivism: life has no meaning, until you give it one.