last post of the year and NEW ~2.5" connection keychains (and 3" vinyl sticker versions) of the hockey yaoilings shane "big canadian snoopy" hollander and ilya "little russian woodstock" rozanov are available as a preorder now! these were SO fun to design and i can't wait to have these at the cons i'll be tabling at in 2026! ❤️❤️ as a note - i still have to polish up the small sticks and puck bits of the connection keychain but these will look SO awesome when manufactured! take a look at my BC for a full product description. i hope to get these out in mid to late january! 🫡🏒
deleted scenes from the cottage: day 2 (subscribe on ao3 <3)
yes i think ilya had trouble sleeping the first few nights at the cottage bc he was nervous!! and myshane stole an article of clothing from ilya every time they hooked up. it started with a sock by accident and then escalated to shirts when he got brave
Dogboys Shane and Ilya who in this universe can never "sell" the rivalry because they both can't stop wagging their tails when they see or talk about each other.
Like everything in his life, Shane is very pragmatic about sex.
First it’s planning their meet-ups months ahead. Shane has time to plan his outfit, do a pre-workout, and complete his prep routine. When he’s hosting, the temperature is perfectly set, lights low, fresh towels set out on the counters. When Ilya’s hosting or a hotel, he builds in time to do everything he needs beforehand.
Once they’re married, that changes. Living together means things can be a lot more spontaneous (which he loves) but he also likes to know The Plan™️.
And once they’re married, Shane has no problem asking for what he wants so he can plan out his day and routine. It’s not particularly sexy, but he guesses that’s married life.
“Ilya?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want to eat me out after the Canada match tonight?”
They had both been rooting for Canada at the world cup - Ilya even got them jerseys.
Ilya chokes and Shane frowns at him. “You okay?”
“I - just - what?”
“Well I’m going to do a full shower after my physio session with Amelia - I should be done by the time the Canada game starts. Oh - and I meant to ask if you liked those new frozen meals Lyn brought over. They’re a new brand.”
“I - yes, please Shane if I ever don’t want to eat you out, I have been replaced by aliens.”
“Okay, cool. And the meals?”
“Gross,” Ilya said. “But normal gross.”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya?”
“What?”
“Can we fuck on the couch tonight? With the fire going?”
Ilya grit his teeth and for a second Shane thought he would say no.
“Of course.”
“Maybe around 8? I bought 2 hour logs and the fire needs to be completely out by bedtime.”
“Okay.”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya!”
“Shane?”
“Look at your messages! I want to try that position. Maybe after we get back from our afternoon skate?”
~*~*~*~
“Ilya?” Shane asked through his cars bluetooth. Ilya was cooking and keeping him company on the phone as he drove back from an optometrist appointment. Much to his husband’s (fake) disappointment, his slight nearsightedness still didn’t need glasses for anything besides reading comfortably.
“Hm?”
“Did my package get delivered?”
“A package did. I put it on side table for you.”
“Can you go ahead and open it? I wasn’t sure what size to get so I got a few options. I want to try them this weekend - maybe Saturday? If they don’t fit, I’ll need to do another order tonight for 3 day shipping.”
He heard Ilya take a deep breath. He hated to give him another thing to do on top of making dinner, but he wanted to make sure they had the right sizes before they wanted to use them.
~*~*~*~
“Hey Ilya?” Shane said quietly, so the other people at the stuffy fundraiser couldn’t hear.
“Yes?” Ilya, his hand coming up to run through the back of Shane’s hair.
“I’m exhausted. Can we do shower blowjobs when we get home tonight?”
Ilya hand stuttered in his hair. Shane hated to disappoint him but he was too tired for his prep routine, his post routine, and cleaning the sheets. Or even getting up for Ilya to do it. Shower blowjobs had excellent clean up time and he could fall right into bed afterwards.
“That sounds perfect,” Ilya said, a little roughly.
~*~*~*~
Shane was going to kill him. Murder him. Like a sniper - out of the blue, at any given moment, Shane might call out to him all softly and then ask for hottest sex imaginable (all sex with Shane) AND THEN plan it for later, leaving Ilya incredibly worked up.
The worst part was Shane did not even know he did this to him - for Shane, it was just planning - run at 6, breakfast at 8:15, workout at 8:30, shower at 10, fuck husband at 10:45, off ice training at 12:15, etc. It drove Ilya insane.
But Ilya didn’t want to mess it up by acting on the extreme horniness he felt every time his husband causally planned out mind blowing sex. He knew routine was good for Shane’s brain and it would mess the routine up if Shane asked to pencil in a blowjob at 3:15pm and Ilya dropped to his knees right then. So he had to wait and wait until the clocked ticked down for their scheduled appointment. He loved it.
I love to read the Boston Tuna hookup from Shane's perspective, it's one of the best scenes of the book, but damn I need to have the Ilya version because WHAT THE FUCK was going through that man's mind?
Let's recap, he:
Doesn't talk to Shane when he first arrives until they're both in the bedroom, still no hi
Asks him to be on top because he wants to "look at his face"
Calls him "Sweetheart" as he comes
Initiates uncharacteristic cuddles complete with "adoring" face kisses (words by shane, who is getting freaked out, understandably)
Asks him to stay the night
Asks him to stay the night?
Stocks his drink of choice (that hasn't been mentioned in the whole book and shane thinks its fucking weird he knows what his beer replacement is? Understandably again)
Cooks for him (shane is thinking delivery, Ilya says no I'll make sandwiches)
Gets weird about Shane drinking the ginger ale
Starts to prod shane about him liking women
Actually just starts a really weird convo with him? Like guys, it's even weirder in the book
(I'm skipping the whole call from Grigory thing bc that's not something that Ilya did)
They keep watching hockey in silence and Ilya basically puts Shane in a spooning position in the couch for a cuddle and playing with his hair before initiating more sex
Blurts out his name as he comes
After shane backtracks he does this weird little "no this is nothing hollander but also you forgetting a team meet give me a more convincing lie" while basically asking daring him to stay with his eyes
I just can't picture what the plan was, what he was thinking he would achieve with this, I need to read Ilyas pov from this.
And this is NOT ALL. This man has been acting weird since the previous hookup (also a Shane POV, the prologue) three weeks before in Montreal.
Ilya what the FUCK was all that? Shane is both freaking out and going with the flow bc he enjoys this, but what kind of weird vibe are you bringing dude?
"Haha you should get laid more often Hollander :) because you're not getting laid :) because you're thinking of me :) because I have ruined you for others :) do you agree?"
"What?"
"Do you agree that you need to get laid more? :)"
Fucking weirdo loser fake idgafer you're so dear to me
jane had no idea what would happen when she let lilya into the cottage for the first time but she had expected to get passed the foyer before she had to start defending herself. alas knowing who her company was she should have expected this.
“hollander.”
“hm?” jane hummed, setting lilya’s bag by the stairs before returning to her side.
“what are these?” she tipped her head and it made a stray curl spring loose from her low ponytail which was.. mildly distracting. jane followed the motion towards a row of four silver hooks screwed into a cedar plank on the wall by the door.
“uh my keys.” she said because very clearly from each hook was hung a pair of keys.
“why so many?”
“you know why. i’m ‘ms. landlord’ remember?”
“да, of course, but not that.” lilya grinned, picking up the leftmost set of keys“why so many… clips?”
“carabiners.” jane supplied.
“carabiners.” lilya nodded once, clicking the carabiner she happened to select, “purpose of a carabiner is to have all your keys together. you have too many.”
“no,” she shook her head, “the purpose of a carabiner is to have multiple so you can color code which keys are which and keep them separate.”
lilya’s brows scrunched and she squinted suspiciously at the carabiner in her hand before declaring, “so this is for montreal.”
“red and blue, yeah.” the corners of jane’s lips quirked up, “that’s the apartment building.”
“sex dungeon.” lilya corrected.
“whatever.” she rolled her eyes, plucking the keys from her hand and hooking them to the wall again by their metros-esque carabiner. “that’s the sex dungeon.”
jane stepped back towards the stairs, expecting the conversation to be over but lilya persists, “and these?” she waved her left hand towards the remaining keys before looking back over her shoulder “i know you want to tell me.”
jane instinctively wanted to tramp down the feeling and call it silly, but her heart fluttered in her chest. because yeah, she did want to tell her. but more importantly, lilya wanted to listen.
“red and black.” she pointed to the next carabiner, “is my parents house because it’s the cen’s colors.”
“hollander!” lilya gasped, clutching the loose neckline of her muscle tank like it were a string of pearls, “you cheat on metros carabiner with centaurs carabiner?”
“it’s nostalgic okay,” jane’s shoulders shot up in defense, elbows squaring, “it’s not my fault i’m from ottawa.”
lilya tsked in mock disapproval, “you are lucky i am more loyal than you. i won’t tell anyone you are a traitor.”
“fuck you.” jane gritted her teeth slightly.
“later,” lilya grabbed her chin, authoritatively pinched between her thumb and forefinger, and turned her head back to the wall, “tell me about the blue one.”
blood rushed to jane’s cheeks and she curled her fists at her sides so she wouldn’t do something stupid like whine when lilya let go of her face, “the blue one,” it’s smaller than the others but it makes up for its size with personality, imbedded in the larger end of the carabiner is a small compass, “is from my dad so i feel like i have to keep it even though i have no reason to need a compass. anyways, it’s my spare keys for this place because,” she suddenly felt a little stupid, “blue is uh for the lake.”
“of course.” lilya nodded like water being blue was some sage truth.
“of course,” jane nodded back without fully meaning to, “and uh the last one is green for my parent’s cottage down the road.”
“no.”
jane frowned slightly in confusion, “what do you mean no?”
“that is not your last carabiner,” there was a flash of mischief in lilya’s eyes, the only pretense to what she was going to do next, she tugged jane sharply towards by her waistband making her gasp, “this is one is.”
“fuck. um, yeah.” she mumbled, looking down at the small space between them now where lilya had crooked a finger through the black carabiner attached to her shorts, “those are my car keys.”
“boring black for a boring car.” jane could feel the heat of her breath, “you should try something fun like orange.”
“it’s practical,” she protested weakly, making the grave mistake of letting her eyes flick upwards to lilya’s lips “it has a locking mechanism on it.”
“it locks, wow very useful.” lilya hummed before blessedly she stooped and put jane out of her misery with a searing kiss. she tugged on her carabiner again while she shoved her tongue past jane’s teeth making her moan despite her best efforts. her hands find their frantically up to the wide straps of lilya’s tank and grab onto them. when lilya pulled back she was smiling at her much too softly to be labeled as anything but fond, “come on.” she turned quickly towards the stairs, keeping her single finger hold on jane to pull her along, “i want a tour.”
One day Ilya is going to realise that when you add up Shane's jersey number you get 6, and when you add up his own, you get 9, and it's going to be so over for Shane Hollander.
Hollanov agree to record their wedding as a personal video diary of the day.
Shane’s surprisingly quite relaxed. He’s confident in their relationship, excited to be married, and knows that even if something goes wrong, it doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day he’ll be with Ilya.
Ilya is stressed. He keeps crying. This is the best day of his life. Shane deserves better, why would the greatest man on earth want him. He’s never been happier. Something’s gonna go wrong, he knows it. Bood, Troy, and Sveta have to keep calming him down and reminding him that Shane loves him and they deserve to be happy together. He locks himself in the bathroom.
Shane’s getting dressed with Hayden, JJ, and Rose, sipping champagne, feet up as he waits for the ceremony to start.
Once they manage to coax Ilya out of the bathroom, David comes in and does his canon speech about Ilya being his second son. The waterworks start again.
David then checks on Shane. “At least you’re doing okay.” “…. i-is Ilya not doing okay?” “Don’t worry about it, have another flute.”
ok i have anotha thought.... i know most ppl prefer shane w either Top Surgery or having transitioned early enough that he never really grew breast tissue but #onthisday i am thinking about shane breasts and ilya kissing them. will i be allowed into heaven......
*offering you a single fresh raspberry* yes you are destined for heaven, personally I tend to prefer that also but! I can and will expand on this idea, in my mind Shane has a lot of social dysphoria and probably a complicated relationship with these aspects of himself, but a lott of the painful shit he's gone through mentally is started to heal by the way Ilya sees him if that makes sense? like Shane's body does not look cis, T has changed both the way his genitalia and breasts look, it doesn't function the way a cis body does, and while those bits are still there Shane looks at his body and sees a man. no matter what he's calling those things they're man parts, that's his Grown Man Pussy, right? Those are his Man Tiddies. And Ilya just going "Okee, yes, makes sense" and just respecting that this is fundamentally Shane sets him at ease. (sorry this was supposed to be sexy itll get sexy) and i think this probably happens way way down the line but eventually Ilya is kissing his breasts and Holding them (i dont think Shane woukd like honking but maybe thats a personal ick) and I think Shane figures out he likes having them played with maybe not grabbed or pulled on but definitely he enjoys a bit of groping and they both have an ITrustYou fetish so this being kind of a Thing for Shane makes them both rock hard because nobody else Gets This
also bc of T i think they should be a bit hairy perhaps around the nipples and Ilya pets the hair ok im done 👍 unless
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