Shitpost Central

[itsjesscapade]

the second 'o' in "zoologist" is putting in heavy duty work. girl is working two jobs

[megamindsupremacy]

Beautiful dash pull

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

[batbetbitbotbut]

[slowspinningredemption]

i was in the supermarket and a guy looked at me and calls over to his wife like "honey what are we having for dinner tonight?" and when she told him he nodded and, still staring directly at my shirt, said "i'll get some garlic bread"

my shirt:

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[toskarin]

one of my favourite human songs-and-dances is when someone notices someone else is lying and, for no particular reason besides love of the game, helps them get away with the lie without ever explicitly acknowledging they noticed. nightmare social animals.

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[princessmo]

blogging away again in tumblritaville

[phantomrose96]

Get your ducks in a row. Now get them in a circle. Get them in a Socratic seminar with that duck in the middle. Get them in a mosh pit. Get them moshing. Get them moshing.

[notahorseindisguise]

everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet

[empyreal-lore]

*looking at the OC I crafted with my own hands* what the actual hell is her problem

[infertilityidol]

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

[galaxywarp]

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

[deanwinchesterapologist]

>settings

>onions

>my onions

>caramelize my onions

[ariesrin]

The worst part about writing is that sometimes you actually have to write.

The best part about writing is also that sometimes you have to write.

I will not elaborate further.

[stalgivc]

[cowboy]

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

[chilewithcarnage]