“What is your grandest dream?”
To be outside when the first snow falls.
“No, it needs to be bigger than this!”
To wake up to the soft purrs of my cat.
“Your dreams are too minuscule. You lack ambition.”
Who are you to tell me my dreams are too small? Am I not allowed to thrive for the mundane? To reach for ceiling lights instead of stars?
Why should dreams be big and grand and life-changing? Sometimes, even the moon dreams of becoming a flower.
So why can’t I dream of simpler things?
Don’t accuse me of lacking ambition. I am content with the creases on my couch and familiar laughter.
You can have your grand dreams, your once-in-a-million chances, your fairy-tale life. I’ll continue to forget to water my plants and continue to buy new ones with the same promise on my tongue over and over again.
Let me dream of small things. Let me be a flower instead of a moon. I promise I’ll do good too.
Baku are Japanese supernatural beings that are said to devour nightmares. According to legend, they were created by the spare pieces that were left over when the gods finished creating all other animals.
Artio is a bear goddess in Celtic mythology. She is the goddess of nature, fertility, bears and was worshiped in the region of Gaul. Artio is associated with spring she sleeps during winter and reawakens when the plants and animals wake up.
A long, long time ago there lived a girl on the moon. But she hadn’t always been a girl. Before she became one, she used to be a beautiful white rabbit. She would scamper around the moon’s surface all night long and only stop when the old man that lived here with her would kneel down and softly pet her head.
Sometimes the man would offer her small flowers he had picked from the tree that grew right in the middle of the moon. They had a strange taste to them and felt too warm in the poor rabbit’s mouth. So, instead of eating these strange plants, she carefully stuck them into her fur. The petals were a bright yellow and the dust that coated them made her fur shimmer like the stars surrounding her home.
One day; however, when the rabbit returned from her leaps, she could not find the old man. She searched far and wide for him and at last found him sunken under the tree. The tiny flowers he used to pick for her had grown over him and clad him in a cloak of yellow. Before the rabbit could begin to understand what had happened to her old friend, a spirit came down to her in the form of smoke. It gently freed the man from the tree and pet the rabbit.
Once the spirit was gone, the rabbit was no longer a rabbit but a girl with white, long hair. But instead of marvelling at her new form, the girl picks up the axe the old man left behind and began hacking away at the tree. Thousands and thousands of petals came falling down and yellow dust began to lay over the entire moon. But the tree was sturdy and resilient and soon the girl grew tired and fell asleep.
The next time she awoke, the tree had regrown all its branches and healed all the cuts in its bark. Even little yellow buds started to sprout again. The girl fell down on her knees next to the tree and began to weep. She wept and wept and wept but to no avail. Her friend did not return to her, and the tree continued to grow until it had engulfed her much like it had the old man. The yellow buds had blossomed in her hair and thin vines had ranked around her limbs.
But the girl continued to sit still. She had not moved an inch since that day. That was until a bright yellow figure appeared in front of the thicket of flowers and leaves. The light that emanated from it was so blinding, it shocked the girl into action.
She first ripped her arm free from the vines and then grabbed the axe and cut her way out of the tree. Once she was out in the open again, she had to hide her eyes from the light. The brightness that greeted her was unlike any she was used to. While the moon was not dark, its shine was much gentler and calmer.
But this, this was boisterous and invading. It made her skin crawl. There was no escaping from it, it was all around her, creeping through her fingers into her insides. It burned, burned so hot! She wanted to crawl back into the tree for shelter.
In a feeble attempt to open her eyes against the brightness she could make out a shape in front of her. It looked like the old man, but with narrower shoulders and a more boisterous posture.
It scared the young girl nearly out of her mind and having lived as a rabbit for much longer than as a girl, she did the only thing she knew how to do: run and hide. So, she turned around but before she could even take a step back into the thicket, the apparition grabbed for her, and she stumbled in an attempt to elude it.
Ah, so it is real! Be not afraid, Moon Rabbit. I have only come to assure the rumours are true. And they are indeed!
The girl lay still on the ground. She did not dare look at the figure, even if it promised to do no harm to her.
What a lovely delight! Look at you, such a beauty and you hide yourself away in the shadows of the moon. Pity! Please, will you spare me a look? Just one?
The girl had no choice. Her rapid heartbeat would not slow down but there was no way to escape. The tree had already begun to regrow so thick; it was impossible to fit through, even for her. But his light, it was so unbearably bright! She could not open her eyes, lest she wanted to go blind.
Your light, it hurts my eyes! How shall I look at you if one look might blind me?
The girl cried out; her voice hoarse as she had never used it before.
I see. Then please, allow me to touch you. You have flowers and dust all over you. Let me clean them off you.
She could feel the light reach towards her. More intense heat spread around her and began to coil around her wrist.
The flowers and dust are familiar to me, I do not mind them on my body and need not be cleaned of them. But you…you are a stranger and shall not touch me!
She crawled further away from the presence, roots and branches digging into the flesh of her back. She could feel the light around her heat up. The girl whimpered, as she feared to burst into flames soon.
Ah, but you know me? For I am the Sun and live not far from here. You see me as the light of your planet each day. I am no stranger to you than the flowers in your hair.
The girl did know about the Sun, but it had never been this bright and painful. She had liked the warm yellow glow that came from it in the far. It had made her fur feel heavier and lured her to sleep in its comforting warmth.
Its yellow glow had reminded her of the tree and therefore of the old man but now it just hurt, and she wanted it gone. In a last attempt to escape, she staggered to her feet and ran directly towards the light. She heard a sudden gasp and thump but did not turn around or stop running until shadows covered her again.
When she opened her eyes again, the Sun was still in front of her, but now softened by an almost impenetrable jungle of branches and leaves. She had run across the whole of the Moon and was now on the other side, the side drenched in darkness and overtaken by the tree. The girl sighed. Here, the Sun could not get to her.
She slumped down and began to weep inconsolably. Her dear friend was gone, and the Sun burnt her eyes and skin instead of bringing her comfort. The shadows of the tree did not console her either, as they were taking over her home more and more the longer she wept.
She felt lost and hopeless and just wanted to bury herself deep into the moon’s surface. But her hands no longer had claws and soon her fingertips started to hurt and bleed. It was then that another presence made itself known by softly flattering against her hair.
Oh?
The girl looked up, wiping the tears from her eyes to see what had caught in her hair. A winged creature was trying to reach one of the wilted flowers that was still dangling in the girl’s hair. She had never seen such a creature. It looked so delicate and fragile and yet daring with its dark wings and bold white and yellow pattern.
What a strange little thing you are! Has hunger for a flower brought you here? Pray tell, what are you?
She softly parted her hair, so the creature had more room for its wings to safely land on the yellow petals. It sat there for a while, as if it was catching its breath.
I am far from familiar grounds; it seems as you do not know I am a butterfly. Look, do you see the blue orb down there? That is my home. It is called the Earth. The light behind you made you look like a beautiful flower, so I went on my way. But I can see now that it was just the Sun hiding behind the Moon. Please excuse me but I must rest a little before I go back home. My journey was very long, you see.
The girl listened closely to the story of the butterfly. When it mentioned the Earth she was reminded once again of her old friend. He had talked about the Earth as well sometimes.
His voice had gone soft and quiet whenever he spoke of the place. The girl was intrigued now. She wanted to know more but understood that the butterfly was tired after such a long journey. So, she let it rest while she sat and stared at the blue orb.
After a while the butterfly began to stir again. It flapped its wings a few times before it pushed itself into the air.
I am very thankful for your kindness. But I must leave now. I’ve rested up enough to travel back home. Farewell!
The girl felt a sudden surge of sadness wash over her. She did not want the butterfly to leave just yet. She still had so many questions. And she could do with some company. Her only friend was gone, and she wanted nothing to do with the Sun. o she ran after the butterfly, calling for it:
Wait! My dear butterfly, please wait! Do not leave me just yet. I am so lonely up here and you are full of stories from faraway places. Please, stay a little while longer.
But the girl could see the hesitation in the nervous fluttering of the butterfly’s wings.
I need to go home. As a butterfly flowers and sunshine are necessary to keep me alive. Here, it is too dark for me or any flowers to live.
But flowers bloom here! Look!
The girl exclaimed and turned towards the tree. The yellow flowers were still in full bloom, hanging in groups from the tree and cascading down. Not even the advancing darkness stopped them from blossoming.
This caught the butterflies attention and it swiftly fluttered over towards the tree. Without much hesitation it sat down in the middle of one of the flower stems and began to taste the flavour of the it.
Oh how wonderful this is! I have never tasted anything like it down on Earth. The taste is sweet and potent. It shall be more than enough to sustain me. But I still require sunshine. This plant may live without it, but I am of different cut.
For this, the girl had no answer. She could still see the Sun lurking through the branches, seemingly unmoved since she fled from its light. But the girl was as quick of a thinker as she was on her feet, so she begged the butterfly for a little bit of time. Then, she stepped further into the thicket and called:
My dearest Sun, my suitor. Can you hear my voice calling to you? I have lost my way in the darkness and can not find your light. Won’t you come and search for me?
And when the Sun heard the girl’s pitiful plea, it began to move. Soon, the first rays crept along the side of the Moon. However, before the Sun could reach the other side and see the girl, it stopped short. The Earth, the blue orb, was in its way. It could not fit past.
Love, I cannot come closer, the Earth is in the way. I shall move around this obstacle and look for you! Wait for me!
And the Sun began to move further and further away. When it was nearly out of sight, the girl came out of her hiding again. She smiled at the butterfly who now sat in a gentle sheen of light on top of the golden flowers.
Now that the girl was no longer hiding from the Sun, she could resume work. She retrieved the axe and began to cut down branch after branch. She cut down just enough to free most of the Moon from its clutches but left enough for the butterfly to sustain itself. Like this, the girl and the butterfly spent many a time together. Until the butterfly grew homesick and decided to go back to Earth.
Will you visit me again, dear friend?
I will.
But how will I know it is you who visits me and not an enemy in disguise?
The girl still feared the day the Sun would find her again.
You shall call me by a name. That is what the people on Earth do. That way you know it is me when I answer to it.
The girl thought for a moment. Names were a strange concept to her but she understood that she could not simply call the butterfly Butterfly as there were many of that name where her friend came from.
Then, I shall call you Clytie. If you answer to this name I shall know it to be you and no one else. And you may call for me by the name of Chang’e.
With this, the two friends said their farewells.
In the time that the butterfly spent on Earth, the girl felt unable to tend for the tree. Her longing for her friend kept her staring at the vast blue orb.
But once her friend returned, she began to work again and cut down the tree. Like this, they fell into a rhythm where every once in a while, Clytie would leave for Earth and the tree would overgrow the Moon.
The Sun kept looking for the girl and she had to hide a few times from its searching lights. But the Sun would leave again, and her friend returned each time.
when, again, teeth start growing at the back of my mouth
an aching and breaking reminiscent of care-free times
Those unloved teeth pushed and shoved
demanding space where none was left
they promised wisdom
but my mouth already felt numb
and I let them join my baby teeth
~epipsychidesis
Bonus: You can listen to me reading and talking about this poem on the official podcast of the writing society of which I am a member! This is already kinda old (2019) cause I forgot about this blog as soon as I made it but hey it's still up so if you're interested here is the link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5jkxbkPyReFLkD3rPLS1Rv