errie

fem lesbian she/her I write all works with fem!reader minors DNI

[errriiie]

errie's masterlist

my writing desire always depends on my current fandom but now I'll writing for ellie williams x fem!reader! I can freely write both SFW and NSFW though I prefer NSFW pervy shit hehe

REQUESTS OPEN ONLY FOR HEADCANONS SUGGESTIONS ⚘ for nsfw ❀ for fluff ♱ for angst yellowjackets masterlist ellie williams' masterlist ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE KEEP THAT IN MIND!!! im from east europe so I can mess up some facts in my works sorry

bear vodka balalaika

[ethelism-deactivated20260209]

˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°❅ almost sleeping ¦ ellie williams headcanons part I.

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎she doesn’t ask, she tells you how badly she needs you. ︎ ︎ ︎| ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ellie williams. ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

warnings: 18+ content, rough sex, oral (giving + receiving), strap-on penetration, overstimulation, dirty talk, spit, marking, possessiveness, semi-public vibes (window), rough fingering, crying (pleasure), slight degradation (ellie is feral)

heath's note: probably no one remembers me, but if you're reading this, hi, I'm heath! aka @morganlism, more refreshed and new than ever with a new account that I hope lasts over time lol If you're new, you're totally welcome to have a good time.

❆ winter on the farm is quiet, almost sacred. The land sleeps, the animals breathe slowly, and Ellie stays lying with you as if the bed were the only warm place that exists. Even though by this point she’s used to waking up early, she can’t say no to all the love you give her every time you’re together, and when you cling to her shirt, murmuring a "don’t go yet… it’s too cold," something in her melts. She sighs, smiles against your neck, and snuggles back under the heavy blankets with you. "Just a little longer, love," she says… but you both know she’ll stay until you decide.

❆ ellie loves cooking with you in the winter, not because she's good at it (although she always tries hard for you) but because she loves you when you're focused, your cheeks red from the heat of the kitchen and your hair behind your shoulders, feeling the air from her lips when she talks to you. She stands behind you, arms around your waist, her warm breath brushing your neck as she helps you knead. "You smell like winter," she murmurs, not exactly knowing what that means, but feeling it as an absolute truth.

❆ you decorate the farm together, with crooked lights and handmade wreaths, and even though many end up a bit lopsided, Ellie swears she’s never seen anything so beautiful. She loves the way you laugh when something falls, how you frown when it’s not perfect. She watches you like it’s a tradition in itself "do it your way, you’ll do great," she says, always with that gentle voice she only uses with you, "the house only feels alive when you touch it."

❆ the fog clings to the windows, and Ellie lights the wood stove as if it were a ritual, sitting on the floor with you, wrapped in a big blanket, her legs tangled with yours and her cheeks flushed enough for you to notice. Outside, it's as cold as a snowstorm, but Ellie looks at you as if she were in front of a bonfire. She gently strokes your cheek, with that tenderness no one else knows "you look so warm" she says, holding your hands in hers "like something that could save me from the winter." To which you laugh and nudge her shoulder because honestly, she's just being silly.

❆ kisses under the mistletoe, not because you believe in all those superstitions that Joel used to murmur into both of your ears, remembering when he had a new partner every christmas, but because Ellie loves any excuse to kiss you a thousand times. She traps you under the doorframe, the tip of her cold nose brushing yours, her warm hands on your cheeks, holding back her urge to devour you because it would scare Joel in a heartbeat. She kisses you slowly, softly, as if melting something inside you "one more for good damn luck," she says against your lips, you give it to her, and another, and another, until winter feels as far away as a dream you never want to wake up from.

❆ sometimes you complain about the weather, about how your hands are always cold, about how your body isn’t used to this kind of winter. Ellie wraps you in her arms, almost pulling you under her, laughing softly. "Then let me warm you up" she says, hiding the blush on her neck and kissing you over and over, tucking your feet between her thighs, running her hands down your back while her short nails work to give you chills, and pressing you to her chest as if she could absorb all your cold and keep it to herself.

❆ winter makes Ellie softer. There's something about the stillness, the dim light, the idea of having you close while everything else sleeps, that makes her more human than ever. She watches you while you read in bed, while you sip a hot tea, while you do anything, as if you were the only thing keeping winter at bay, and sometimes she doesn't even say it, she just wraps her arms around you and hides her face on your shoulder, breathing like she needs you more than the warm air.

❆ when you finally go out for a walk in the snow, Ellie lends you her gloves, her scarf, her hat, even though you protest "no, keep it, you'll freeze" you say. And Ellie, with that stubborn smile, replies: "I'm used to the cold but you… you’re a gift and gifts are to be taken care of."

❆ at night, when you both get back into the warmth of the bed, Ellie lies behind you, pressed against your back, her fingers tangled with yours under the sheets. She kisses your shoulder, your neck, the soft line behind your ear "i don’t want this winter to end," she whispers, almost like she’s afraid of breaking something "not if it means losing all these beautiful mornings with you" and sometimes, just sometimes, you wake up first and watch her sleep: her nose red from the cold, her eyelashes trembling, her hair messy. You move closer, wrap your arms around her waist, and she smiles in her sleep, murmuring your name like it’s an anchor, the farm can wait an the world too.

in winter Ellie is yours and you’re her warmest home.

❆ ellie wakes up needing you in the winter it’s like the cold triggers something feral in her, she rolls over half-asleep then fits her knee between your thighs and grinds up until your heat floods her jeans and groans into your neck when she feels how soft you are "fuck... baby, you’re already warm for me… you want it that bad?"

❆ she loves fucking you under heavy blankets, the weight makes you feel trapped, surrounded, owned she thrusts deep, slow, breath trembling against your shoulder and the mattress squeaks, the headboard hits the wall, but everything else is quiet and just little winter gasps and Ellie whispering "Take it… take all of it… good fucking girl…"

❆ she always fingers you first, believe me, always. Warm hands sliding under the covers, straight to your thighs, middle finger teasing your entrance before she slides in deep, lazy and curling up into that spot that makes your back arch like broken ice "Oh" she moans when she feels you pulse, "you’re squeezing me already needy little thing"

❆ ellie gets off on winter clinginess when you wrap your arms around her and whisper "don’t go feed the animals yet…" she gets hard instantly and actually whimpers against your skin "Say it again please babygirl beg me to stay" and of course you do, and she fucks you half-dressed, still shivering breath fogging in the cold air.

❆ the sex on the living room rug is her favorite winter sin, fireplace crackling and shadows flickering over your bodies ellie has your legs over her shoulders, fucking into you so deep you forget your own name, she keeps glancing at your body glowing in firelight, like she’s worshipping something holy "you look unreal," she pants "Oh God you feel unreal don’t stop clenching like that."

❆ ellie eats you out like she’s thawing ice with her mouth with knees on the cold floor the blanket thrown over her head so the world disappears except for you and her tongue relentless, slow and so messy, you love it, slurping sounds echo in the quiet farmhouse until she pulls back, chin soaked, and says, "Open wider, baby please please let me ruin you"

❆ the morning sex turns her filthy and she’s sleepy-stupid with desire, pulls your hips back onto her strap with both hands the hair is messy, the cheeks flushed and breath shaky as she watches herself disappear inside you "Fuck… look at that… you swallow me like it’s nothing."

❆ ellie loves making you ride her when the sun hasn’t risen her hands on your waist, guiding, controlling, torturing you with that slow up-down rhythm and her eyes half-lidded, mouth parted, voice rough from sleep "Use me" she murmurs, "grind on me yeah, just like that—shit... don’t stop."

❆ she stuffs her hand between your thighs when you’re cold and pretends she’s just warming you up but her fingers always slide lowe and so fucking lower… Until she’s rubbing your clit gently with her thumb, smirking "See? You’re warm now"

❆ ellie gets possessive when it snows the winter makes the world quiet and intimate and Ellie wants to fill every second of it with you. She holds your face while she fucks you deep with the foreheads touching and that breath mixing. "You're mine this season," she whispers, voice breaking "all winter, every morning and every night"

❆ aftercare is still sexual, she kisses your swollen lips, your flushed cheeks and your wet thighs, then runs a thumb over your overstimulated clit and smiles at the way you gasp "Round two?" you laugh and doesn’t wait for the answer she just starts again.

❆ sometimes ellie gets mean when you tell her you're cold but not in the cruel way, mean in the way someone is when they’re too turned on to think she grabs your thighs then pulls you open and mutters, "Let me fix it" Then she goes down on you like she’s trying to melt snow with her tongue, licking you so aggressively your hips lift off the bed and she holds your legs down "Stay still" she growls "i'm not done warming you"

❆ she loves to fuck you half-asleep when you’re soft, needy, not fully conscious, she slides her strap in slow, deep, until your breath hitches and your eyes flutter open and you whimper "Yeah… wake up on my cock baby that's it, that's my girl"

❆ she fingers you with three in winter, not two and she jokes saying it’s because "your pussy's warmer this season" but really it’s because she’s addicted to the way you gasp when all three slide in at once, she curls them so hard your voice breaks "Yeah" she whispers "you can take it. Look at you… hungry little thing."

❆ she makes you ride her under the blankets until you're sobbing, not crying, just like incoherent, trembling and winter-fragile sounds. Your hands slip on her chest and she catches your hips, guiding you down harder "sit all the way" she orders, voice low and ruined, then you try and fail. And she slams you down on her strap so deep you choke on a moan.

❆ she's obsessed with the sound of the bed in winter, the quiet farmhouse makes every movement loud, the squeak of the mattress, your wetness, her groans. She starts fucking you faster just to hear it "Listen" she pants, "listen to how messy you get for me"

❆ she holds your hips down when you try to squirm away you know that overstimulation is her religion and you love it, you cum once and she doesn’t even slow down "Where are you going?" she asks, pushing deeper, "you're not done" and of course you cry out then elie bites your shoulder "don’t run, baby just take it"

❆ ellie spits on your clit in the cold it's warm, filthy and absolutely shocking. Watches it drip down your folds and then rubs it in with her thumb. "Pretty" she murmurs "so fucking pretty when you flinch like that"

❆ she fucks you standing up against the window when it snows and both look your breath fogs the glass, her hands grip your hips so hard you’ll bruise. She pounds into you from behind, watching your face break open with pleasure. "Look at you babygirl" she groans, slamming deeper, "look at how good I fuck you"

❆ elie finishes by rubbing her strap soaked against your overstimulated clit until you’re begging, not asking to stop, asking for mercy. She doesn’t slow down until you collapse on her chest, shaking and voice gone "That’s it" she whispers into your hair, kissing your forehead, "no one ruins you like I do"

❆ and when she’s done, she still keeps her hand between your thighs, not moving just resting there claiming you and feeling the heat she put there "You're mine this winter" she whispers, half-asleep but still hungry, "and every fucking winter after"

© 2025 all rights reserved — ethelism. do not modify, repost, plagiarize, or claim my work as your own without permission.

[darkhors-world]

“why did you write that”

1. my fetish

2. my friend’s fetish

3. not my fetish but it fits in the story so i threw it in there as a treat. you’re welcome.

[errriiie]

pretty girls | poly!ellabs hc

sfw and nsfw here ;) enjoy! word count: 3,5k cw: reader is implied as feminine. butch/fem/masc dynamic overall, reader has a personality for the sake of story im sorry

SFW:

— Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie and Abby are childhood friends. It's complicated, but they've had unrealized feelings for each other for a long time. Your arrival abruptly put everything in perspective.

— Poly!Ellabs, but you fell in love with Abby first and only then with Ellie. I mean, let's be objective, okay? A gentle giant butch who acts like a knight to you, or a masc who acts like a pubescent ulcer and knows more about the Savage Starlight comic than her own family tree? You take both, but simply, yes. "Abby's beauty is on the outside, Ellie's beauty is on the inside," you once said, and Ellie brings it up at least once a month, puffing out her chest, “Yeah, but my inside beauty has better taste in music and doesn’t snore.” — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby let you in easily. You met through mutual friends at a frat party, and Abby is always happy to meet new people, especially those who are so beautiful and sweet. Ellie took a long time to let you be. She squinted suspiciously every time you showed up in her and Abby's shared apartment. You were convinced she didn't like you. She actually did liked you, and she's just always checking out new people Abby interacts with. Ellie has a very specific social circle of Jesse and Dina, who are her ride-or-die, and she's very sensitive to making new connections. Girlfriend!Ellie, who uses sarcasm and the modern media to hide her social anxiety, yes. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie also warmed up to you when one day you offered to join her in Mario Kart. Then Fortnite. Then you started playing together so often that Ellie simply couldn't play the detached game anymore and share with Abby her thoughts about how she felt like you were up to no good. What's really was no good, that's her heart raced as if she'd been defibrillated back to life whenever you came to their house again. — Poly!Ellabs, but at first it was monogamy. Of course, you got together with Abby. You brought her snacks to the gym (trying to hide the fact that you were watching her muscles flex), you listened very attentively to each other's days at university, and you were involved in her coin collection, which you basically thought was incredibly cute. — Poly!Ellabs, but even though you were happy with Abby, you felt bad. You felt sad literally every day as soon as you found yourself in Ellie and Abby's apartment, and you didn't understand why. You’d see Ellie curled on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in a game but casting these long, lingering looks at you and Abby together, and your chest would ache.  And you didn't know what to do. The truth is, you liked Ellie too. A lot. Once she softened towards you, you got to know her other side. She's always very passionate about her hobbies, she's actually smart, she can make you laugh until your stomach hurts, and she always looked for things you had in common. Sometimes she acted like an idiot, but she was the one spamming you with messages at night, which you'd always engage in and text to until you both passed out. She even wanted to introduce you to her friends, and now you lived with the feeling that you'd ruined everything.

— Poly!Ellabs but at one point, you couldn't take it anymore and, in tears, simply told Abby that you liked them both and couldn't look at Ellie anymore, and you felt such guilt that it was literally hard to live with. Abby simply reassured you, thinking for a few minutes before shrugging and saying, "I don't mind. But you need to tell Ellie." You were completely surprised. It only occurred to you later that Abby had probably noticed everything, and besides, well, she clearly talks to Ellie more than you do. So the three of you just talked, and Ellie listened carefully and was like, "Holy shit are we really doing this??" — Poly!Ellabs, but you're really doing this. You didn't quite expect them to agree so quickly, but apparently a long friendship that wasn't broken by Ellie's fiery temper or Abby's stubbornness was paying off. Either way, you were happy to have them both. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby has the day you got together marked in red on her calendar. She never forgets that date (Ellie forgets constantly). — Poly!Ellabs, but they treat each other differently than they treat you. With you, their softness opens up, but they rarely allow vulnerability to each other. Mostly, unobtrusive touches and conversations when you can't hear.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't worried about this. You like that they're both here for you, but you also want to make sure they're here for each other. In any case, they're always ready to give each other one more kiss on the cheek right in front of you, with a grumpy expression and an eye roll to make sure you know it's all good between them (not really, but you just let it be).

— Poly!Ellabs but Ellie didn't hesitate to dump her situationships for you two. She just did ”hey just fyi im in a triple-threat polycule now so like,, don’t @ me” thing for everygirl basically. You were more than pleased, actually. — Poly!Ellabs, but they're complete opposites when it comes to texting. Abby literally writes with periods (scary) and uses proper grammar/writes to the point almost always, unless she wants to send a photo of her muscels to show off. Ellie writes as if her face is skimming across the keyboard. Abby is kinda: “I’m at the store. Need anything?” / "you <3" /“Not sold here.” Responds only with "👍" or "No." (She leaves 90 percent of your messages on read) Ellie is kinda:

“hey miss u. come over. abby’s gone. we can listen your pop shit and makeout” / i SWEAR TO GOD IMMA THROW HANDS

“🥺” / "anyway miss u or whatever 🥺👉👈" / actually just send urself 

“wyd. wyd. wyd. (if ur not busy can u suck my strap)”

— Poly!Ellabs, but Abby really loves planning your triple dates. She's a romantic at heart, and you're always touched when she gives you a thoughtful gift or takes you and Ellie somewhere where you can both have a great experience.

— Poly!Ellabs, but they have different love styles. Ellie's is physical contact and quality time, while Abby's is acts of service and words of affirmation. But essentially, you get everything from everyone.

— Poly!Ellabs, but each has their own weaknesses in love. Ellie is difficult with words. She requires a lot of patience and gentleness when she tries to express her feelings verbally. She'll always take your side, but telling you she's jealous? "Ugh, communication."

Abby often clashes with her because she's always in favor of Ellie opening up, especially now that you're also part of the relationship. Ellie also argues with Abby because she thinks you love Abby more because she's not as complicated and not as much as Ellie thinks she is. Although the truth is, you'd do anything for her to prove that she's enough.

— Poly!Ellabs, but Abby tends to forget about yours and Ellie's feelings if she has an urgent goal. She can distance herself from everyone to achieve something, and at that moment, she ceases to be the attentive, chivalrous girl you know. The reasons can be varied, from arguments with friends to uni problems to a conflict with her beloved father. It can be difficult to bring Abby back to her old self, especially if the goal is important to her, but just give her space and a gentle presence. She'll rethink some things and melt for you both anew.

— Poly!Ellabs, but since they find it difficult to use each other for deep support (it's simply not their dynamic), they approach you as the heart of their relationship. You eventually learn to notice when they're feeling down. Abby usually tends to become a little more sensitive and sullen, but if you ask, "Is everything okay, baby?" she'll immediately open up and wait for your support like a kicked puppy.

Ellie, on the other hand, seems like a kicked puppy from the very beginning, even if she hides it under layers of anger or irritation. Just open your arms to her, invite her to hug, kiss, touch—she'll melt. Getting words out will be difficult at first, but give her a little push, and she'll open up to you about what's wrong. She is a bit taciturn afterward and rarely mentions it in front of you, but she definitely remembers all the times.

— Poly!Ellabs but it's sometimes difficult to resist the desire to please everyone. Abby, however, was more understanding. Ellie needed a few jokes and some kind of concession to mentally forget that a couple of days earlier you'd agreed with Abby that leaving pizza slices in a box for weeks and then forgetting about them wasn't very nice. — Poly!Ellabs, but given your circumstances, they both get jealous relatively infrequently. Ellie just gets jealous if she suddenly feels a lack of attention, and Abby gets jealous often if she feels neglected. They both jealous if they're feels being left out. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby's jealousy is more quiet and detached, while Ellie's is explosive. They both bottle it up for a while, but Ellie is quicker to lash out if provoked by a careless remark, and at those moments, a careless remark could be anything. Abby might say something like, "Oh, now we're finally thinking about our relationship instead of that girl?" and you know things aren't going well. Abby often generalizes her jealousy and draws Ellie into it to feel better and avoid thinking she's being a jerk for being jealous. — Poly!Ellabs but Ellie has literally zero tolerance for touching strangers. She's always watching to see how you handle someone's flirting, but she always intervenes as soon as Abby lets go of her grip. Ellie prefers to put her arm around you in public, placing her hand on your hip, while Abby puts hers around your waist. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie loves date nights at home in the introverted comfort of your space. Abby loves visiting interesting places that at least one of you enjoys. You combine these two in turn, unless it's when Ellie begs you to go with her to the new dinosaur-themed park that just opened, or when Abby feels like playing Forza Horizon with Ellie so you can watch. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby melts from compliments where you even hint at her stoic and reliable nature. Ellie blushes to the tips of her ears when you have no doubt about the seriousness of her words, hobbies, and preferences. — Poly!Ellabs who unironically love to sleep with you in the middle, but Ellie gets hot in the middle of the night and she constantly kicks and throws the blanket off Abby and you if you also prefer to sleep under the blanket. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby sometimes reads horoscopes and calls Ellie the "most predictable Aries" in the world. Ellie thinks it's all bullshit and always expects you to disprove it. You do… sometimes. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby's a little self-conscious about the freckles on her shoulders and back, and Ellie's self-conscious about the ones on her face. You don't understand why, because, well, you adore them. — Poly!Ellabs but even though Ellie might have made a good-natured, humorous comment about your appearance before your relationship, they literally ??idolize and sponsor the way you dress?? Bro just shut up take their money and just let them find you a nice girly long-sleeve top, dress, or skirt. They're almost obsessive about your self-presentation and how it differs from theirs. — Poly!Ellabs but you repeated that triple bed kiss scene from Challengers but in the end you made them kiss by grabbing the back of their heads instead of kissing you and it was amazing lol — Poly!Ellabs but they both like certain anime and discuss them. Sometimes you call Ellie a weeaboo to tease her. It's always works just like the first time. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie's more of a night owl, while Abby's an early bird. Sometimes you lazily watch Abby quietly get ready for class or the gym while Ellie sleeps with both legs draped over you, and you simply wave lazily as she leaves the room. This makes Abby very happy, actually. — Poly!Ellabs, but the three of you have carabiners that you three gave each other in your favorite colors so you three could attach them somewhere :)

— Poly!Ellabs, but Abby is NOT photogenic at all. She takes photos of her face from the bottom up and thinks that this is peak. Ellie takes photos and videos of herself in all the cool looks she creates and sometimes makes TikTok videos. You read the comments, get jealous, but do nothing because you know that if you created a similar account with thirst traps, Ellie would go crazy with how many people want you. You refuse to traumatize her. Abby would have a laugh about that though. — Poly!Ellabs, but Jerry and Joel both speak highly of you. It's unironic, but your girlfriends don't need any more validation after the second-most important people in their lives have approved of you. — Poly!Ellabs, but they have secret desires. Ellie secretly wants a triple tattoo between the three of you, and Abby secretly wants you to settle for a dog because then Ellie will have no other option… well… — Poly!Ellabs, where Ellie is the moon, Abby is the sun and you are their stars.  Poly!Ellabs, but they both know Life is Strange. Ellie is a staunch supporter of Pricefield and the Bae Over Bay propaganda, while Abby prefers Amberprice and believes that logically, Bay Over Bae has more merit. It's an eternal war, and that's not even a joke. — Poly!Ellabs, but it took you less than a week of dating to have a threesome... NSFW:

— Poly!Ellabs, but now we're talking about adult stuff. Abby is a stone top because she's comfortable with it. She enjoys giving pleasure, she enjoys being the cause of it—the very concept is what turns her on. She enjoys being in control, taking it all in, and making it sensual and intimate. Her own release is far less important, and she prefers to take care of it herself while she’s alone. In any case, she's lucky you take this seriously and don't try to change her. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie is more of a switch with a bias toward topping, but in those rare situations where she does it with Abby, she becomes the bottom. Does Ellie enjoy being the top? Absolutely, because her anxious ass feels like her need for control is fulfilled in this position. In general, that's the most important thing for her. She doesn't mind being on the receiving end, she just needs to make sure she's in control of how exactly you bring her pleasure. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie prefers a rougher pace most of the time and gentler when she's feeling emotional enough and ready to open up to you.

— Poly!Ellabs, but Abby prefers more measured, reserved pace most of the time, but she can release her negative, pent-up emotions and not even notice how her calculated movements of the strap-on inside you suddenly make you double over and scream with groans from how quickly she thrusts it in and out.

Ellie, who watches this and maybe should do something, but it's more important for her to put her hand between her legs and get off on the sight of two of her girlfriend fucking.

— Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie is ready to do this three to five times a week and considers herself a "person with a high sexual needs" simply because when you're together, she's not shy about asking you both about sex and acts confidently. She doesn't suspect there's a bigger fish in the house.

— Poly!Ellabs, where Abby is ready to fuck you every single day because what? Right. Going to the gym incredibly increases libido, but Abby is a bit shy and often feels too tired to do anything, but this causes her unfulfilled desire to build up, so you and Ellie need to initiate it yourselves to help her. Abby is also afraid of being intrusive with such sensitive and important things, so she often waits for your suggestion. Sweet girl :(

— Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie and Abby often use sex as a conflict resolution. It's not that they have communication problems or refuse to listen to each other (although both are possible), but rather that they've been friends for so long that they know their methods. And believe me when I say they don't spare each other when Abby is fingering Ellie like a slut, and Ellie is biting Abby's neck and shoulders until they're purple.

— Poly!Ellabs, but they both have a control kink, and yes, they share it (like many others). It's big, and they want you to let them take care of everything. But besides that, Ellie especially enjoys dry humping, spanking, drunk sex, praise, and mild degradation. Abby has a huge kink for strap-ons, brat taming, and praise in both directions, but especially when it comes to just telling her she's good bro please Abby doesn't think highly of herself anyway :( — Poly!Ellabs, but they both like to use pet names during sex, and they never use the same ones. Abby uses sunshine, sweetheart, and baby most often. She also uses darling and bunny, if you're into that. Ellie mostly uses babe, hun (honey), and babygirl, and she especially likes it when you cringe from it. In rare moments she calls you love and you should cherish it imo. — Poly!Ellabs, but they argue about orgasms when the three of you are together—oh my god. Ellie loves seeing you break down and listening to you beg to come, and Abby loves watching your legs tremble from another orgasm in the last half hour. In other words, edging and overstimulation are the cause of an eternal war. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie loves doggystyle, while Abby prefers missionary. Ellie simply loves physical contact and enjoys leaning on you from behind while the strap-on penetrates you. Plus, she can comfortably hold on to you using you as support. Plus, she can whisper in your ear how sweet you are to her and how well you take it. Abby prefers to see your face contort with pleasure and your breasts bounce from her powerful thrusts, hoarsely telling you, "Look at me." every time you look away. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie unironically keeps a list of the best threesome positions. She especially likes it when you're positioned between her legs, your ass high, and Abby is pounding into you from behind. I mean, there's something about that that really turns her on. At this point, Abby likes almost anything. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie isn't very good at aftercare, so she's learning from Abby. She also feels awkward if any of you try to take care of her—I mean, she often indulged in one-night stands and that wasn't what she was doing, but it turns out that receiving and giving aftercare is... even enjoyable. — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby always needs to shower afterward, and she even loves doing it with you and Ellie at the same time. Like, rub each other's backs and make sure you've washed off all the sweat, drool, and other fluids. Isn't that cool?

But if Ellie's feeling especially tired or lazy, she can just pass out on the bed and complain about waking up dirty in the morning, while you and Abby exchange indifferent glances because, well, you've heard it a hundred times already. — Poly!Ellabs, but you've learned that you should never anger either of them. Sometimes you can be a pain in their ass just to watch them slowly lose their patience. They'll fuck you right out of your bad behavior without even batting an eye.

Is your ass burning from the slaps of their palms? "Just be patient, babe. You decided to be a bitch today. Don't you like it now?"

Is Abby's hand squeezing your throat just a little tighter than usual? "You were quite the mouthful today. Just making sure it doesn't happen again, mhm, bunny?"

Is the both of them denying you release? "Just because you were disrespectful to us today, you know. We're sure this will teach you some lessons. For a little while." — Poly!Ellabs, but Abby really likes it when you're all beautiful and specially prepared for sex a little in advance. It makes her feel desirable. Ellie, on the other hand, prefers it when you do nothing, I mean, she calls it "natural" (she's too lazy to do any prep work herself lol).

But they both love a little bush of yours tho. — Poly!Ellabs, but Ellie needs to lie down and recover after sex, while Abby, on the contrary, feels a surge of energy. Thanks to the gym. — Poly!Ellabs but you love them both in any form more than anything in the world.

[errriiie]

Is there any possibility of there being more to the bully fem reader and loser ellie story 👀

YES just yes dw guys it'll happen! I'm currently writing headcanons for poly! ellabs, and after that, I'm planning on writing the second part. although overall IM REALLY into loser!ellie and might write smth else for her after ending the taming of the shrew :3

[errriiie]

the taming of the shrew

loser!ellie x mean!fem!reader

TW: shameless smut with so little plot, explicit themes, bullying, slurring (i mean it, a LOT of slurs), rough sex, nudes, internalised homophobia/lesbophobia, ellie's nerd ass getting her revenge, kinda toxic if you squint, spanking, slapping, choking, strap-on sex (r! receiving), unresolved tension, bittersweet all the way through, comedy :D word count — 5.3k, not proofread! Everything was simple between you and Ellie from ninth to twelfth grade in high school. You never, God knows, never missed a chance to tease Ellie. The word "dyke" flew from your sweet lips at her more often than the word "thank you" at your own mother. Ellie adapted and learned to endure. Until one day she mistakenly sent you nudes. Until one day you told her to come over and show her how well she handled that belt she put on her boxers. Until she showed you where your fucking place is. You first noticed Ellie Williams in ninth grade biology, her oversized glasses slipping down her nose as she hunched over a dissection tray, murmuring "the brachial plexus of a frog is structurally similar to early tetrapods" to no one. Her backpack—a thrift-store relic plastered with peeling Savage Starlight decals—leaned against the lab table. Her glasses were stupidly out of place, she wore low-cut clothes, her nails… she didn't even have painted nails, and if she did, they were always black. She always reminded you of Janis from Mean Girls 2004. Janis always gave you that twisting feeling in your stomach that was so close to disgust. You decided instantly, viciously, that she was the kind of girl who deserved every syllable of the word dyke.

By mid-semester, the cafeteria became your theater. You’d corner her at the salad bar, drawling "Hey, Ellie—think Harley Queen’s into girls? Or is that just you?" as your friends snickered into their plates. She’d freeze, a cherry tomato pinched between her fingers, before muttering "A-actually, Harley’s canonically bisexual—" and retreating to the chess club table. You learned her tells: the way her neck flushed splotchy red when you called her space dyke during astronomy class presentations, how her hands trembled when you “accidentally” knocked her X-Men trade paperbacks into puddles. Tenth grade changed things. Ellie arrived on the first day with contacts that turned her eyes into sharp, clear pools of green—no more Coke-bottle lenses (they weren't like that, though) to hide behind. Academically, she suddenly began to break through to the top of the food chain. While you struggled with quadratic equations, she’d dissect them in the back row of Algebra, scribbling proofs so elegant Mr. Donovan would sigh, "Williams, save some genius for the rest of us." Her voice didn't lose its squeak, but it became a little more familiar to the way you whispered "dyke" in the chem lab. She’d just adjust her safety goggles and whisper, "Aniline dyes degrade under UV light, you know. Like your insults." It was provocative and she thought it sounded like a cool insult from someone whose voice constantly trails off and trembles in social situations unless it's about her obsessive fixations or academic matters. You simply told her to shut up and remained silent until you came up with the next brilliant idea to call her some offensive way. And you tried. God, you tried. When Jason Moore asked you out—lacrosse captain, biceps like knotted rope, breath that smelled perpetually of chips and constant misogyny—you said yes. For three weeks, you let him press you against his pickup truck after games, his hands pawing your hips as he slurred, "You’re not like those carpet-munchers, y’know?" You wanted to sink into the ground with shame. You imagined Ellie would pass by, notice, point, and laugh heartily. At this point, you hardly ever heard genuine joy from Ellie; she didn't give you that luxury. Not that you needed it. But the thoughts ate you up, and you constantly pulled away, trying to hide your dislike. "What’s your problem?" he’d grunted, some kind of grease glistening on his chin. You broke up via text that night: "ur breath smells like a dumpster fire. bye." In 11th grade, you did everything you could to convince everyone you loved boys, dicks, dirt, and everything else disgusting that represented a man in your mind. Your friends were suspicious, but you wore the shortest skirts allowed by dress code, let your nails chip from clutching at football jerseys in the bleachers, and perfected the bullshit of the—"No, I don’t like girls, but I can appreciate when someone’s pretty, you know?" lie—always delivered with a dismissive wave, like the concept of queerness was a mildly annoying fly you could shoo away. And they'd immediately return to their usual rut with you. You had no one to talk to about it, and you drowned out thoughts of Ellie by endlessly judging her interests, refusing to acknowledge how much she'd grown and how you hadn't grown at all. You'd talk about her liking disgusting gay shit, while rewatching "But I'm a Cheerleader," identifying with Megan so intensely it hurt. You watched a few lesbian movies, trying to be biased from the start, so that when you specifically tracked Ellie down in the library and said, "I watched Bottoms yesterday. You know what I think? Rare gay crap. I bet you disagree because you like rare gay crap."

Ellie blinked, adjusted her glasses, because, to your delight, she realized that the lenses were simply uncomfortable for her. And—after a solid four seconds of silence—said: "You know, if you hate gay movies so much, why do you keep watching them? That’s like... really gay." Then she went back to her book. You stood there, fuming, because fuck, she was right. They hate when you serve a hyperfeminine gay girly, you thought, leaving her right after 'cause the way she made you speechless was embarrassing. Ellie was still bad at this. She hesitated before comebacks, her voice sometimes shook, and she never quite nailed the delivery. But she was right. Every stupid, awkward, nerdy-ass insult she threw at you stuck like glue because you knew. You knew what you were doing. You knew what you were avoiding. And she knew you knew.

That was the most unforgivable thing of all.

In 12th grade, you finally admitted to yourself that you are a lesbian. But you don't have to admit it to anyone, do you? Not when your school circle consists of straight, conforming girls and their performative boyfriends, whose friends have long since labeled you as "hard to get." You've already missed your chance to find real friends, not friends who embody the ideal patriarchal modern American dream. Ellie's name was now a constant buzz in your head, as if your neighbor was building a house 24/7, but the difference was that her name was now conscious, not subconscious. You forbade yourself from even thinking about regretting those strange years of bullying Ellie, simply because that would prove you were only hurting yourself by trying to insult Ellie with the word "dyke" when the only dyke there was you. So you just waited. You waited for Ellie to stumble, for her to do something stupid, so that you would forget for a second about the panic, the pounding heart, and the shattered pride. And she did.

It was a Saturday night, spending lonely time in your room with a finished bottle of apple cider. You were bored, you didn't want to study, you wanted to distract yourself from the feeling that your life was worthless and miserable and pretend you weren't doing even more bullshit every day by scrolling through Ellie's already inactive Instagram. You wondered how someone could be such a Spider-Man fan and still be smart, gorgeous, and even, in some weird way, charming. The very concept boggled your mind. Do girls like it when other girls love Marvel characters like middle school kids? It was a tough question for you to answer.

And then Ellie texted you. "hey" For a second, you thought you were imagining things. You stared at it for a full minute, your thumb hovering over the keyboard like a bomb disposal expert. Before you could type “who dis”, another text popped up.

A photo loaded.

It was Ellie. Her bedroom in the background—Star Wars posters, a messy desk covered in robot parts, her dinosaur collection lined up on a shelf like jurors. She’d lifted her gray T-shirt to just under her chest. Her stomach was toned, lightly freckled, with a faint trail of dark hair leading from her navel down into her Calvin Klein boxers. And there, strapped over the boxers, was a black harness. The strap-on was visible at the edge of the frame, sleek but hella thick.

You typed "wrong number?" and deleted it. You typed "what the fuck" and deleted it. You typed "you’re disgusting" and deleted it.

Finally, you settled on: "lol. u drunk, dyke ass?" You hit send before you could chicken out, your heart hammering against your ribs. 

"a little? its not for you anyway…" "sry just forget it."

"that was enough for me to call u out on sending dick pics to random ppl. desperate much?" you answered almost defensively. What did she mean "not for you anyway"? Why? How? You hadn't even really communicated, Ellie couldn't have made such a mistake. She wasn't that stupid. She was actually very smart when she wanted to be, and you always hoped you didn't actually notice such details about her.

Ellie didn't respond, even though she read it right away. You were nervous. And when you're nervous, all sorts of crap comes out of your mouth. So you frantically continue writing: "u really thought sending a pic of ur weird strap was gonna do what? scare me?"

"did it?" she answered immediately.

You couldn't let her win. Not like this. The cider and the loneliness and four years of pent-up, confused fury boiled over. You had to push her. You had to make her admit this was for you.  "scare me? please. it looks like a toy from a fucking vending machine. u probably don't even know how to use it. u probably just wear it to feel cool while u build ur legos."

The bubbles stayed up for a long time. You could almost picture her on the other end, flustered, adjusting her glasses, trying to think of a comeback. If only.

"you talk a lot for someone whos never even seen one in person."

Her response hit you right in the ego. Of course she'd go there. Of course she'd pinpoint the exact, humiliating truth that you were all theory and zero practice. The audacity of her, sitting in her nerd-cave, calling you out on your virginity like it was a fucking debate topic.

"never seen one? bitch ive had more dick than uve had real dates with girls" you typed, the lie feeling flimsy even as you sent it. "congrats on jason moore ig. the guy who asked if the clitoris was a brand of car."

How the FUCK did she know that? You never told anyone about that awkward shit ever. Your fingers flew across the screen, desperation overriding common sense. "u stalkin me now too?? listen weirdo at least i dont have to BUY my dick. must be sad."

 "its weird that you're still trying to pretend you're not actually curious about all this yk." "youre just as much of a coward as youve always been."

Your pride was screaming BLOCK HER, you hated her fucking guts right now. She would never have dared to say something like that to you. And the anticipation was literally flaring up in the pit of your stomach, and it was tugging in such a damn strange way. "curious about what? ur little plastic dick? lol. prove it then. if ur so confident and im such a faker, come over. put ur money where ur mouth is. show me what a real loser dyke like u can do with it."

"address."

Your heart stopped. This was not part of the plan. The plan was to bicker until one of you got bored and blocked the other. Not this.

"scared?" she added, when you didn't respond for ten whole seconds.

What, have you played yourself out? Part of you didn't believe Ellie would come when you sent her the address. Part of you didn't believe that "be here in 20" was real. It couldn't happen because… what? What are you even going to do? Ellie was just trying to scare you, that's all. She grew balls after three years to make her first attempt, what a great fucking girl she is. For twenty agonizing minutes, you paced. The empty cider bottle clinked against the floor as you kicked it under your bed. You straightened your already-perfectly-made comforter. You checked your reflection in your phone’s black screen—your hair was a mess, your cheeks flushed. Pathetic. You were pathetic for even caring. This was Ellie. Ellie. The girl who used to flinch when you walked by. The girl whose science fair project on dinosaur extinction timelines you’d “accidentally” knocked over sophomore year. She wasn’t actually coming. This was an elaborate, weirdo-ellie psychological warfare tactic. She was probably sitting in her room, laughing with some of her friends you don't know about how she’d finally gotten under your skin. You were shaking when you heard the sound of a car stopping in front of the house. Your heart sank to your feet, you already hated this idea. You crept to your window, peeling back the curtain just enough to peer into the street. Ellie's car, clearly her father's one, was parked crookedly at the curb. The driver’s side door was open, the interior light casting a glow on her as she got out. She was wearing the same gray T-shirt from the photo, a black hoodie tied around her waist, and those stupid, faded jeans with her traditional glasses, a backpack. Her hands were shoved in her pockets, her shoulders hunched against the cool night air. She looked… small. Normal. Not like someone who was about to show you all the wonders of a strap or something.

The doorbell rang. Your parents were asleep down the hall. The sound felt obscenely loud. You stood frozen in the middle of your room, your bare feet cold on the hardwood floor. What the fuck are you doing? This was insanity. You could still pretend you were asleep. You could text her “jk go away lol” and block her number forever.

The doorbell rang again, longer this time. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you crept downstairs, each step a creaking betrayal. You paused at the front door, your hand hovering over the lock. Through the peephole, you could see her. She was looking down at her phone, her brow furrowed. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She looked… nervous. Good. She should be nervous.

You unlocked the door and pulled it open just a crack. The cool night air hit your face. “What,” you whispered, your voice raspy.

Ellie looked up from her phone. Her glasses were slightly fogged. She didn’t smile. Her eyes, sharp and clear behind the lenses, scanned you from your messy hair to your bare toes. “You invited me.”

“I dared you,” you corrected, leaning against the doorframe, trying to summon every ounce of your usual bravado. “Big difference. Thought you’d chicken out.”

“You thought wrong.” She didn’t move to come in. She just stood there, a challenge in her stance. “So? You gonna let me in, or are we doing this on your front lawn?”

Your face burned. You stepped back, opening the door wider. She walked past you into the dim foyer. You felt like your feet were about to drop you. The last time you'd felt this nervous was when you were trying to prove to your friends that you'd never watched lesbian homemade porn. You led her upstairs to your room in silence, hyper-aware of every sound. Your breathing sounded too loud. You closed your bedroom door behind you, the click of the latch final. You turned to face her, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well? Here I am. Impress me.”

Ellie finally let her eyes wander around your room. A slow, knowing smirk tugged at her lips. “Cozy.”

“Shut up.” You felt exposed. “You got your audience. So what’s the big plan, Williams? Gonna give me a lecture on the feminist implications of strap-ons? Bore me to death with nerd facts?”

She was close enough now that you could see the faint freckles across her nose, the determined set of her jaw. The harness was a faint outline under her shirt. “The plan,” she said, her voice low and steady, “is to finally get you to shut your mouth for five seconds.”

Before you could form another pathetic comeback, her hand snapped out, not to hit you, but grab you firmly by the chin. "All that noise. All that dyke this and disgusting that. It's really fucking transparent."

"You've been begging for this since ninth grade. You just didn't have the vocabulary for it." Her other hand went to the hem of her own shirt, and with a practiced motion, she pulled it over her head, tossing it onto your desk. The black harness was stark against her skin, the straps cutting across her hips. The freckles on her stomach seemed to form constellations you were suddenly desperate to map. "So here's your lesson. The first one is free: this isn't plastic. It's silicone. Significant difference in tensile strength and heat conduction. It warms to body temperature. Unlike the shitty, cold excuses you've been making for years." Her hand left your chin and slid down to the collar of your shirt, fisting in the fabric. "Now. Are you going to keep pretending this is a hate-fuck, or are you finally going to admit you've been dreaming about the class nerd bending you over your pathetic little princess bed?"

Before you could spit another denial, she shoved you backward. You stumbled, landing hard on the edge of your mattress. She was on you in an instant, knees bracketing your hips, pinning you down. "You called me a dyke so many times you practically trademarked the word," she hissed, her face inches from yours. "So let's see if you can say it when it's not an insult. Say it. Say 'fuck me, you dyke'."

You squeezed your eyes shut. "Go to hell, Williams." And it sounded pathetic. You didn't even want to admit to yourself what you might fantasize about with Ellie, but saying it out loud? It would have been worse if that same Jacob Moore had suddenly decided to lie to everyone that you were a complete slut for everyone who asks. You felt the sharp, stinging slap on your cheek before you even registered her hand moving. Your eyes flew open, tears of shock and pain welling instantly. "Wrong answer," she said calmly, like she was grading a quiz. "Try again. Or I walk out that door and you can go back to pretending you're straight for your loser friends." Her hand slid down your body, her fingers hooking in the waistband of your shorts.

"I'm not... I'm not saying that," you whispered, even though you didn't want Ellie to leave. It was so strange, the very concept of it happening, but you'd never experienced anything like it before, and you were torn between avoiding Ellie's gaze and the hand that was trying to pull your shorts down. You didn't do anything to resist. You hardly really wanted to. "That's a fucked up thing to say." Ellie’s grip on your shorts tightened, and she gave a short, sharp tug. The elastic bit into your hips. “What’s fucked up is you thinking you’re better than me because you’re a coward,” she said, leaning in, leaned in, “This is your one chance. Admit it. Or I’m gone.”

You took a shaky breath, the air catching in your chest. Your voice was barely audible, a broken whisper. “...fuck me, you dyke.”

The moment the words left your lips, Ellie’s expression shifted. She let out a shaky breath, as if she was genuinely worried you wouldn't say anything, wouldn't give in, and then none of this would make sense. "It wasn't hard, was it? You study when you want." It felt like a sharp jab at your GPA, which clearly wasn't in the best shape. Without another word, she released your chin and yanked your shorts and underwear down in one rough motion. The cool air hit your skin, and you flinched, a gasp escaping you. She didn’t give you time to process the exposure. Her hands were on your hips, flipping you over onto your stomach with surprising strength. Your face pressed into your comforter. You felt her weight settle on the backs of your thighs, pinning you firmly to the bed. One of her hands pressed between your shoulder blades, holding you down. The other hand landed on your bare ass with another stinging slap. You cried out, the sound muffled by the blanket. “That’s for every time you called me a space dyke during astronomy class,” she said, her voice thick with a mix of anger and something else—arousal. Another slap, sharper this time. “And that’s for the ‘DYKEONASA’ you sharped on my locker.” You squirmed, but her hold was unyielding. The pain was bright and sharp, but it was followed by a warm, spreading heat that coiled deep in your stomach. You hated her. For some reason this was exciting. "Oh, so you were actually mad at me?" you stammered, trying to cling to something, though your voice was shaky and quiet. You needed to keep your head up to keep breathing, and Ellie could take that away from you at any moment. "I bet your dyke cunt is already wet from all the crap I put you through." "Mad?" Her voice was a low, gritty thing, stripped of any pretense of academic detachment. "I've been fucking furious. You think this is just about tonight?" Her hand, the one that wasn't pinning your shoulder blades to the mattress, slid from your stinging ass up the small of your back, a slow, deliberate path that made you shiver. "I've been cataloging every single insult, every sneer, every time you 'accidentally' bumped my lunch tray since we were fourteen. I have a goddamn spreadsheet in my head." She shifted her hips, and you felt the firm pressure of the silicone through her boxers against your thigh. "This is applied physics. Cause and effect. You spent years building up all this kinetic energy with your bullshit. Did you really think it would just dissipate? Energy has to go somewhere." She struck your ass again, making you squeal in sharp pain. You felt an involuntary heat where she had struck. "And yeah, maybe part of me liked it. Maybe part of me got off on being your favorite target. Because at least when you were calling me a dyke, you were looking at me. Really looking. Not like those male zombies you pretended to date."

"So don't you dare try to reduce this to you just being a bitch and me just being mad. You wanted a reaction? You built this. And my 'dyke cunt,' as you so eloquently put it, isn't wet from the crap you put me through. It's wet because after four years of your pathetic attempts to get a rise out of me, you finally fucking succeeded. You finally stopped pretending you were too good for this." You whimpered and whined at the same time. Ellie said it in a way that made your ears burn with shame and the sexual satisfaction of just hearing it happen. "L-let's just get this over with, Williams," you whispered, not expecting to sound so weak. You couldn't help but wonder where Ellie learned all this and how much you didn't really know about the man who had been the center of your school and other life for four years now. "Use your silicone toy or whatever."

She shifted her weight, the bedsprings groaning in protest, and her free hand slid between your legs from behind. Her fingers were startlingly cool against your overheated skin. "You're tense," she observed, her voice flat. "Shocker. All that performative aggression and you're wound tighter than the springs in this piece-of-shit bed." Her fingers stilled. "Where's the lube? And don't lie. A girl who wears a short skirt looks like she wants some loser dyke to pull it down definitely has lube." The accuracy of the assessment was its own special kind of humiliation. "You're probably tired of being a virgin at this point. Not that it's bad, but it's just like you." When you hesitated, biting your lip, she delivered another sharp, open-handed smack to your ass cheek. The sting was immediate and bright. "The lube. Now."

"...nightstand drawer," you finally mumbled into the comforter, "The purple bottle."

You heard the drawer slide open, the rattle of various bottles and... other things. She made a small, knowing sound in the back of her throat. "Impressive collection. The purple one's silicone-based. Good for harnesses. You did your homework." The cap clicked open, and soon the slick, cool sensation of lube was being smoothed over her fingers.

Then her fingers were back, one pressing against your entrance without ceremony. "Now," she said, her voice dropping back into that analytical tone as she began to push inside, slow and relentless. "While I'm ensuring this is physiologically feasible, since you're so keen on getting it 'over with,' let's talk data. How often? Once a week? Twice?" The stretch was unfamiliar, intense, making you gasp and dig your fingers into the sheets. "And how? Fingers? Or do you have another... tool in this drawer you like to pretend doesn't exist?" Her finger curled slightly, pressing against a spot that made your back arch. "Be specific. I want to know exactly what kind of liar I'm dealing with." "Every now and then," you answered evasively, your best lie. When you felt the fingers withdraw, you fidgeted. She withdrew her fingers completely, leaving you empty and clenching around nothing. The loss was a physical ache. "Try again. With numbers. I don't do vagueness. It's bad data." You were fidgeting, your hips making tiny, involuntary movements against the mattress, seeking friction. "Okay! O-okay! Every other day. Sometimes… sometimes every day," you admitted, unable to keep it to yourself. You hadn't even told anyone that you actually masturbated to lesbians, and not to the disgusting straight porn everyone else might think was the object of the average straight girl's fantasy. "I… I don't have toys. I-I don't know what's best… what's worth buying. Just fingers."

Ellie was silent for a moment, the only sound the faint squelch of her reapplying lube. "Every day," she repeated, her tone not mocking. Like she'd just confirmed a long-held hypothesis. "And just fingers. Of course." You felt the blunt, slick pressure of the strap's head against you, making you tense, "You were too scared to even buy a vibrator." She didn't push in yet. Instead, she leaned forward, her chest pressing against your back again, her mouth close to your ear. "You'd lie there in your pathetic princess bed, surrounded by all your straight-girl props, and use your own fingers to think about this. About me. About girls. And then you'd go to school and call me a disgusting dyke."

You shuddered as the head entered you. It was both painful and right. You deserved it, and you thought you wanted it too. There was no one else around besides Ellie to do this for you, and did you really want anyone else? It seemed so necessary now, as you whined painfully, relaxing, the strap-on feeling cold inside and making you squirm. Ellie had said it would warm up later. You hoped her nerdy ass wasn't lying to you. "I-it's hard, Ellie— fuck, oh, fuck—"

Ellie didn't respond with words, not at first. She answered with a slow, deliberate push that stole the air from your lungs. The initial stretch was a sharp, burning line of pressure that made you gasp, your fingers clawing at the comforter. "It's supposed to be hard. That's the whole point. You don't get a participation trophy for this."

She didn't stop, didn't give you a moment to adjust. She set a punishing, steady rhythm from the very start, each thrust a jarring impact that rocked your body forward. It quickly became pleasurable. It stimulated you so well, and oh my god, you'd never experienced anything like it. It was hard to hold back your sounds; you were inexperienced, and sighs and moans poured out of you as you buried your face in the blanket. The lewd, wet sounds of the strap and your cunt clenching around Ellie didn't bother you anymore.  "See?" she grunted, her hips meeting yours with a solid thud. "Basic thermodynamics. Friction generates heat. Your body is just a shitty conductor trying to catch up." Ellie’s hands clamped around your throat from behind. Not enough to stop air completely—yet—but enough to make your vision swim, your pulse thundering against her palms. “You’re gonna say it,” she growled, her thrusts never slowing, the strap hitting a spot so deep you felt it in your teeth. “Not ‘dyke’ like an insult. Say it like a fact. Say ‘I’m a lesbian.’ Say it while you come on my strap, or I swear to God I’ll leave you here dripping and walk out.”

The pressure on your windpipe sharpened, her thumbs digging into the sides of your neck. Your moans turned fractured, desperate, your hips bucking back against hers instinctively. “F-fuck—” you choked out, tears spilling down your cheeks as pleasure and panic coiled tighter.

"You’re not straight. You’re not confused. You’re a fucking lesbian who spent four years projecting her self-loathing onto me because you couldn’t handle the idea that someone like me—a Star Wars-loving, dinosaur-obsessed, unapologetic dyke—could be everything you wanted.” Her hips snapped forward, the force of it driving your face harder into the mattress. “Say. It.”

Your hips rocked back against hers involuntarily, the strap hitting a spot that made your toes curl. “I—I’m—”

“Say it,” she repeated, softer now, almost pleading. “Say it and I’ll let you come.”

The dam broke. “I’m a lesbian!” you choked out, the confession ripped from your lungs, “I’m a lesbian, I’m a lesbian, I’m—”

Ellie’s hand loosened instantly, her palm flattening against your throat in something almost like comfort as she fucked you through the cresting wave of your orgasm. “Good girl,” she murmured, the praise was genuine. Her hips stuttered, losing rhythm as she chased her own release against the harness. Ser body rigid for a moment before collapsing heavily onto your back, her sweat-slicked clothed chest heaving against your spine.

She was the first to move, sitting up to unclip the harness with mechanical precision. The sound of the straps releasing was absurdly loud. “You should hydrate,” she said flatly.

You stared at the ceiling, rolling over onto your back, your body still humming, your throat tender. “Shut up,” you croaked. She stood, pulling her boxers back on, her movements stiff. Ellie Williams after sex—awkward, efficient, painfully uncool.  You sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest like a cliché. “So… what now?”

She paused, her back to you, her shoulders tense under the hoodie. “Now?” She glanced over her shoulder, her glasses smudged, her hair a disaster. “Now I go home. You… exist. Same as always.”

“That’s it?” The words slipped out before you could stop them.

Ellie turned fully, her expression unreadable. “What did you expect? A promposal?” She adjusted her glasses, the lenses catching the dim light. “You called me a dyke for four years. I fucked you once. We’re not even.”

The dismissal stung more than the slap. You scowled. Actually, it was painful. “Whatever. Get out, then.”

She reached into her backpack and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Tossed it onto the bed. “Read it. Or don’t. I don’t care.”

You waited until the front door slammed before unfolding it.

Dear bully,

If you ever want to do this again, here’s a list of ethically sourced, body-safe toys. The highlighted ones are optimal for beginners. Also, message me for queer theory literature you should read so you stop embarrassing yourself. P.S. You still owe me $12 for the lab goggles you broke in 10th grade. P.P.S. I actually prepared this in advance. — E.

[rickyriddle]

ShaunaHat Analysis

Hey there, I’ve been meaning to write an analysis for Shauna and Melissa’s relationship for a while, and after seeing the latest interview with Jenna Burgess, as well as reading a lot of takes I don’t personally agree with regarding their relationship or Melissa as a character. It made me want to give my own perspective on them and hopefully change some people’s minds regarding them.

For starters, I want to make it clear from the start that the point of this analysis isn’t to convince anything that it’s a good relationship, or make you enjoy them if you really don’t. I am very aware that Shauna/Melissa is a toxic relationship that evolved into outright abuse, and it’s totally fine to be uncomfortable with that. But what I wish to accomplish is to give some clarity as to why they are that way, individually and as a couple.

So, for this analysis, I’ll explore who Melissa and Shauna are as people and how it contributed to them starting a relationship. I want to delve into their individual motivation for dating each other, what they saw in each other, how it affected them and why it ultimately ended the way it did. Essentially, I’m looking to elucidate the when, why and how of their relationships. So please, bear with me.

I'd recommend checking out the two latest interviews Jenna Burgess did, since I'll be referencing them (and they are super interesting). The first one is by PopCultureWithPat and the other one is by kfunggg.

ps: this analysis is over 20k words, I might post it in separated parts that can work individually and if so, I’ll add the links to those posts here.

edit: the analysis is now on AO3 if you'd prefer to read it there

Introduction

First, I think establishing who Melissa is as a character would help explain how this relationship became a thing. As for now, we don’t know much about Melissa’s backstory. She was a character officially introduced in season 2 and became a more important character in season 3, when she started her relationship with Shauna. So what do we know about her character? She’s a high school student, possibly 17 years old as of season 3 (according to the actress), and she was part of the JV team as opposed to the Varsity team. We know she’s a lesbian, and it does play a role in her choices and behaviours, not just because of her sexual preferences but because there is a social context here. It’s the 90s, where homosexuality is still considered taboo, which the show does touch upon. We can assume that, as a gay teen, Melissa was possibly still closeted and may never have had a relationship with another girl before due to the stigma, or possibly not having admitted to herself that she likes girls. Those are speculations, but I’d argue they are very probable possibilities given the time period.

Melissa doesn’t seem to have many close friends outside of Gen, who is someone (if we agree with the actresses playing them) she only befriended after the crash. So it’s possible that before the crash, Melissa was more of a loner who kept to herself. And as a potentially closeted teen, it would make sense that she has a harder time making friends if she’s afraid to be outed and possibly ostracised.

What we’ve seen of her in season 2 is pretty minimal. She mostly only hangs out with Gen; they both keep to themselves, although Gen has other friends (like Mari and Akilah) whom she is seen hanging out with without Melissa. Gen and Melissa’s role in s2 was mostly that of the comedic relief duo, who had funny interactions. We don’t learn much about Melissa as a person, and she’s mostly there to contribute to the group dynamic.

As for her personality, she comes off as someone awkward, somewhat shy, unless she has someone who can back her up. She dared to be more outspoken when she was with Gen, and later when she was with Shauna. But more on that later.

I won’t take too much time describing Shauna since her character is very well established, so I’ll stick to the main points for this analysis. Shauna is someone with a lot of trauma, after losing Jackie and feeling responsible for her death and blaming herself, but she also had a lot of resentment towards Jackie. It’s clear that her feelings for Jackie were complex, a bit of love and hate, and she was never able to process those due to her tragic passing. She can never reconcile with Jackie, talk things through, because she died. And Jackie dying after a violent argument will forever leave Shauna haunted, by what she could have done differently, by the possibility that maybe they could have talked things through. But unfortunately, she will never have this opportunity, and she will remain tormented by that for as long as we have seen her. There is also the death of her baby that added to that trauma, both because it’s a very traumatic event on its own but because the baby was linked to Jackie. It’s because she slept with Jeff and ended up pregnant that they had that argument. I believe that for her, if she could have her baby, it would at least make Jackie’s death not in vain. Losing her baby could have been like losing Jackie again, because now her death served no purpose. I think this is why Shauna, after rescue, married Jeff. She didn’t love him. But Jackie died because she slept with him, so in her mind, this is the only way she has to not make her death in vain and atone for what she did. She’s essentially punishing herself due to her guilt for everything she did in the Wilderness, including her involvement in Jackie’s death.

And as a teen, that amount of trauma led to her behaviors in season 3. She feels alone and unappreciated after they picked Natalie as the leader instead of her. From her perspective, she was more deserving. She thinks she suffered the most, she was the one who did what the others couldn’t, which is to butcher Javi’s corpse so they wouldn’t starve to death. The fact she had to do that to a child after she lost her baby only contributed to her trauma, she had to cover her eyes so much it was distressing for her. So for her, it must have felt like a slap in the face to have Nat become the leader, simply because Lottie decided that it was the will of It (the Wilderness). So Shauna’s frustration at the beginning of season 3 is understandable to an extent, she feels unappreciated, she can’t connect with the others and their newfound devotion to the wilderness. Especially since this faith they build is capitalizing on her personal trauma. They made her dead baby into a mythical figure, Shauna isn’t allowed to grieve in peace; her trauma is constantly shoved into her face. So it’s understandable why she’d isolate herself from the rest of the group; this must be triggering for her. We do see her leave the ceremony as soon as her child is mentioned, and she had to go bury him somewhere else so she could keep a part of him to herself.

Did Melissa love Shauna? (Season 3, episode 1)

So, Shauna had a lot of reasonable anger and frustration at the beginning of season 3, and that led her to be isolated from the others with whom she no longer felt comfortable being with. Not that it excuse her more aggressive behaviors, but I think is understandable why she’d lash out like that given what she went through and how the others acted towards her and her trauma.

As for Melissa had the start of season 3, she does seem to be part of the overall group, she participated into the activities organized by their community and didn’t seem to have much of an issue with it. It meant be because she also started to believe in the Wilderness, or simply because she didn’t want to be excluded. And, it’s not like she had anything else to do, so as well just go along with what others do.

Now, let’s move to their first actual interaction in season 3. Shauna asked for Melissa’s help with the meat. For Shauna, it’s nothing special, Melissa just happened to be the closest person around. But for Melissa, it might mean something more, to have Shauna speak to her and acknowledge her presence.

Then, when Shauna made that very dark comment about Mari, she looked at Melissa, almost as if she was “challenging” her to say something. To tell her what she said was bad. Because that’s what Shauna came to expect from everyone, to be dismissed and viewed in a bad light. But much to her surprise, Melissa didn’t react badly to her comment. On the contrary, she seemingly agreed with Shauna’s distaste for Mari, even attempting a witty remark about how dumb Mari is. This did take Shauna aback, as she was probably not expecting that someone would agree with her. Shauna wasn’t really familiar with Melissa as a person, as she is a JV and a grade or two below her. She made a comment about Melissa, that she was surprised to see she does have a personality.

For Melissa, what was simply a constatation almost felt like a compliment. Shauna noticed her and acknowledged her. She looked flustered at first, then almost proud of herself. To me, it leaves me to believe that at that point, Melissa was already starting to harbour a crush on Shauna. What Shauna told her wasn’t actually nice, since it implies she never bothered to know anything about her until now. But to Melissa, this was as if her crush had finally acknowledged that she exists, and it made her happy. This is the kind of reaction I can only see for someone who did like the other person, and felt like they had finally succeeded at getting noticed by them.

Then came Akilah, trying to gift Shauna a handmade crown for the ceremony, since she was “it’s mother”. Even if, from Akilah’s perspective, what she was doing was kind, it was not how Shauna felt. And with reason. This crown symbolized the loss of her baby and how everyone appropriated her trauma for their personal gain, to make themselves feel better with their Wilderness belief. It wasn’t a gift to her, it was a reminder of what she lost and how even her loss couldn’t belong to her alone.

Melissa noticed Shauna’s discomfort after she slapped the crown to the ground, and Mel made the decision to step on it in front of Shauna. This was the first instance of Melissa doing something somewhat mean to someone (Akilah), by destroying something she put time into making. But why did Melissa do that? I think it was primarily to get Shauna’s attention. She doesn’t have anything against Akilah, and they both seem to be on relatively good terms. So it wasn’t animated by personal animosity towards Akilah. But Melissa saw that Shauna hated that crown and that it made her uncomfortable, so she thought by stepping on it, it would make Shauna acknowledge her even more. She wanted to show her that she was on her side. Shauna had already “praised” her once for saying something mean about Mari, someone Shauna dislikes, so she expected it to work again towards something else Shauna didn’t like.

I'm not sure if Shauna knew why Melissa did that (or cared), but she did look at her as she walked away, so I do think it left a certain impression on Shauna. With everyone being invasive regarding her baby, it might have felt good to see Melissa step on that crown. She might not have realized Melissa did it for her, I don't think Shauna could conceive that someone would take her side, but I still think it could have left a relatively good impression of Melissa on Shauna. Or at least, some curiosity. Something that could have helped later on the line with their relationship.

I’d say by that moment alone, it’s clear to me that by that point, Melissa already had a crush on Shauna. I can’t see why she would go out of her way to try find something witty to say to impress Shauna and then destroy the crown Shauna hated. Those are not actions that could have benefited Melissa personally; they were in response to what Shauna was saying or doing. This was the first time Shauna gave her attention, and Melissa was desperate to keep it going. Her crush had acknowledged her and nothing else mattered to her at that moment.

Season 2 retrospective

Now, let’s take a break from season 3 and ask the question: When did Melissa start to have feelings for Shauna? Let’s put aside that their romance was something that wasn’t planned ahead, since the show could retroactively decide Melissa loved Shauna way before season 3. So let’s only focus on what we can observe. Ever since season 3 began, a lot of people have noticed that Melissa was often standing close to Shauna during season 2. Speculation started that it might have been foreshadowing for their relationship in season 3, but as I said before, it wasn’t planned ahead. But, given they could retroactively say that Melissa did love Shauna in s2, it’s still fair to bring up those. In a recent interview with Jenna Burgess, she was asked about that, and we now finally have our answer as to why Melissa and Shauna were often seen together in season 2. The main reason was simply because Jenna chose to stand close to Shauna to ensure she’d get screentime. It makes sense that being close to the main character would increase her chances of being seen on screen. So it wasn’t a coincidence, but it wasn’t foreshadowing either. It was still an intentional choice by Jenna. But, she also gave another reason why she chose Shauna rather than another main character. She felt like Melissa was drawn to Shauna, because she could relate to her feeling of loneliness. This echoes my interpretation that Melissa was more of a loner. She does have Gen as a friend in season 2, but that’s it. Gen had other friends, and that could make Melissa feel lonely whenever they weren’t together. And that led her to feel a gravitational pull towards Shauna because they’re both lonely.

I do think Melissa’s feelings for Shauna started as sympathy at first. She felt bad for Shauna for what she went through, and it started her interest in her that later developed into having a crush on her. I think she was starting to have a certain interest in Shauna in s2, even if it wasn’t necessarily romantic yet. And maybe even attraction at some point. Jenna did say that there is a brutal side to Shauna that Melissa is very attracted to, so it’s possible that when Shauna became more aggressive (for example, when she beat up Lottie) that it sparked something in Melissa, she was already drawn to her but now she saw another side of Shauna, a side she found disturbingly alluring. That could explain why she said that line to Shauna, “now you give a shit about Lottie?”.

Maybe part of Melissa was still struggling to admit to herself that she felt that way towards Shauna when she beat up Lottie. She was confused as to why Shauna now cared about Lottie, and that confusion could have upset her and led her to say that line. The girl she thought she could relate to ended up being violent, and part of Melissa enjoyed that violence, and it scared her. Not of Shauna, but of herself. And there was perhaps a need to distance herself from Shauna in that moment. Gen had already expressed annoyance at Shauna, so Melissa felt more comfortable doing so, too. There’s also the fact that they were all worried about Lottie, so crush or not, it’s fair for Melissa to be upset at Shauna for nearly killing Lottie. We do see that despite that, Melissa is still seen close to Shauna later on, so it did not put an end to her interest in her.

But hey, that’s just my personal interpretation based on what we know of her in s3. This was probably not the intent in s2, and I think this was mostly just a throwaway line to further the plot more than something meant to inform us on Melissa as a character. Here's an interesting thread on Twitter about all the moments where Melissa is shown close to Shauna or reacting to her.

So, everything I said regarding season 2 and how Melissa could have already have feelings for Shauna is just speculation; nothing is confirmed here. Some people would rather headcanon that she already had a crush on Shauna before the crash. And you know what? That’s also a possibility. But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter when exactly Melissa started to have feelings for Shauna. We may never know. But what we do know is that she does have feelings for Shauna in s3. Even if she doesn’t have feelings for her in s2 or before, it doesn’t fundamentally affect their relationship in s3 and how I’ll be analyzing them. It just adds a bit of flavour to them. Let’s not forget that there was a timeskip between s2 and s3. Season 3 started at the summer solstice, so we skipped all of spring. That’s at least a three-month time skip. Plenty of time for Melissa to develop a genuine crush on Shauna if she didn’t have one already. But then, I’ll have to ask this question: how?

How did Melissa fall in love with Shauna? (s2 and s3 timeskip)

I believe we do have enough information in the text itself to make a reasonable assumption. We know Gen became the new hunter after Travis and was being trained by Nat. It would certainly take a lot of time for Nat to train Gen into becoming the competent hunter we see she become at the start of s3. Which means, Gen spending less time with Melissa. We know Gen is Melissa’s closest friend, which must have left her to feel pretty lonely whenever Gen left to go train with Nat or simply go hunt. That could explain two things I mentioned earlier. Melissa is participating more in the group, because she is herself starting to feel isolated so more likely to cling to whatever she can to not feel alone. At the start of s3 she does seem to get along with some of the other girls, notably Britt and Robin, so she does have people she could consider friends. But Gen still remains her closest friend and she probably misses her, even if they do share a hut there are still a lot of moments they aren’t together, contrasting with their time together in season 2 where they were almost always together.

I think this only strengthened what Melissa could have already felt towards Shauna, feeling drawn to her because they both felt lonely. And if Shauna was lonely in season 2, now she’s flat-out alone and isolated from the others, something Melissa can probably empathize with. I could see that during that timeskip, when she was alone, Melissa spent a lot of time observing Shauna, learning about her through a safe distance, and it developed into a feeling of limerence (that’s a word Jenna used to describe Melissa’s feelings towards Shauna in this article if you are interested). It’s a state of involuntary obsession with another person and an intense longing for someone, even if they don’t reciprocate. It’s not necessarily a feeling of love or lust, but it can feel like that and can develop into those. I think Melissa, in her feeling of loneliness, latched onto what she was feeling towards Shauna. This developed into a crush, even if it was fueled by this feeling of limerence more than simple love or lust.

The beginning of shaunahat (season 3, episode 2)

Now, let’s go back to what is actually happening in season 3. Their second actual interaction is when Melissa followed Shauna to the grave of her baby. This behaviour is starting to feel like stalking, she isn’t just observing Shauna from afar, she is following her around without her knowing. As mentioned earlier, limerance is obsessive by nature, she wanted to know more about Shauna, so she followed her and discovered something. The grave of her child. This was something private to Shauna that she didn’t want the other girls to know. Part of Melissa does feel sympathy for Shauna for what she went through, but I think she doesn’t fully grasp why Shauna wanted a place just for herself. So her decision to put flowers on the grave did come from a good intention; that’s what people usually do to pay respect to the dead. I don’t think Melissa really thinks too deeply about her actions here, in her mind, she was being kind to someone she likes.

But, from what I gathered from how Jenna described this action, yes it came from empathy, but part of Melissa was also curious to see how Shauna would react, so she hid instead of just leaving. She likes to observe Shauna, so seeing her reaction isn’t something she would have wanted to miss. She probably didn’t expect that Shauna would react this negatively, because I don’t think she realized how much Shauna was terrified of someone finding out where she buried her child. She might have assumed Shauna would be relieved to see that someone cared for her and her loss and was looking for a more positive reaction. This shows that at this point, Melissa’s understanding of Shauna is very shallow and this is more about how she feels about Shauna rather than how Shauna is feeling. It’s not ill-intentioned, but it’s very naive of her and shows a certain immaturity when it comes to romance.

Melissa got caught. She could have attempted to run but she didn’t think she was in any real danger. As I said, her understanding of Shauna is very shallow and she failed to see how panicked Shauna was to see her there. And Shauna at this point barely knows anything about Melissa, from all she knows, she’s part of the cult that keeps worshipping her dead baby. She’s right to be on edge and worried. She does feel threatened and attacked in a place where she’s vulnerable, where she just wants to be able to grieve her child in peace. So Melissa being there is akin to an invasion and perhaps even aggression to her, and Shauna feels right to go on the offensive.

Melissa definitely noticed how Shauna was starting to get more and more aggressive. She might not have understood exactly why, but she did try to defuse the situation. But as the awkward girl she is (and with “no game”, per Jenna’s words) she unintentionally made things worse. It did seem for a moment that Shauna might calm down when Melissa tried to assure her she wasn’t there for her baby, and started expressing how much sympathy she had for her and then showing her in compliments. All of those were desperate attempts to get on Shauna’s good side after upsetting her. Then Melissa started feeling a bit too bold when she thought she had managed to calm down Shauna and tried to express how she felt about Shauna in a clumsy way, telling her she “wasn’t scared of her”. For Melissa, this was meant as a compliment, a way for her to show Shauna she liked her and wanted to be around her, unlike the others. She was trying to show Shauna she wasn’t like them and she could trust her.

But of course, that’s not how Shauna interpreted it. She might have seemed to be calming down, she wasn’t. She was a ticking bomb, still very much on edge by having someone invading her personal space, someone getting involved yet again in her private trauma. I’m not sure if she was fully registering what Melissa was telling her or if she was too panicked to fully hear her. But then, when she heard Melissa say she wasn’t scared of her, this didn’t come off as a compliment to her. It was an insult. In her mind, Melissa was provoking her. Because that’s what she’s used to, to people insulting and provoking her, and disrespecting her feelings. And as the ticking bomb she was, she exploded at that moment. Melissa had given her a reason, in her mind, to attack. She was a menace that needed to be dealt with. So she threatened her at knife point to never speak of this, because to Shauna, this was what it was all about. Her child, her right to have a place just for herself. She did not care about anything else Melissa had to say. All she could see was that she was endangering the only remaining piece of her baby that she could claim for herself. And for that, Shauna was willing to threaten to kill Melissa to keep it a secret.

Then, the infamous kiss happened. Why did Melissa kiss Shauna? Two reasons were given by the actress. The main one being, she had a crush on Shauna. If Shauna was going to kill her, this was her only chance to express her feelings for her. She had nothing to lose so why not at least try? The other reason was self-preservation. In that moment, Melissa was terrified of dying. Shen wasn’t thinking clearly. She was desperate to survive, so she did something impulsive in the hope it could save her. She kissed Shauna. This was a split-second decision made by someone who was desperate, born both from her crush on Shauna and the fear of dying. If you are about to get killed, might as well do what you weren’t able to do before. It might be your last chance. Thankfully for Melissa, it worked. She did not get killed by Shauna.

Now, let’s switch to Shauna’s perspective. She’s angry, panicked, holding a knife to some girl’s throat, someone she barely knows. She’s not aware that Melissa has been harbouring those feelings for her. She is nothing more than a nuisance to her at that time. Until she suddenly launched to kiss her. This is probably the last thing Shauna expected would happen. We saw that she was shocked and confused, and it did diffused her anger.

Why did she kiss Melissa back? Well, for many reasons. If I go by Jenna’s words, Shauna was so broken at that time that she just went “huh, what the hell, sure”. If I go by Sophie’s words, after being kissed, Shauna realized that she was “kind of into it”. Both can be true. Shauna was at her lowest. She felt isolated and unappreciated by everyone, but suddenly there was this random girl who kissed her? Showed interest in her? Despite how she behaves, Shauna does feel lonely, she misses Jackie, and she misses having someone with her. And given it’s obvious Shauna had feelings for Jackie that went beyond friendship, something she will never have the chance to explore or even fully accept, having a girl make a move on her awakened something in her. This part of her she never fully acknowledged, her attraction to girls. It’s unclear what Shauna’s exact sexuality is, but we can assume she is indeed queer. And that kiss from Melissa made her feel something, something she liked, and she wanted to feel more of it. So she kissed her back.

If the kiss for Melissa was a way to express her feelings for Shauna, it wasn’t the same for Shauna. At that point, Shauna couldn’t care less about Melissa. She is merely a vessel for her own feelings. The kiss wasn’t romantic to her, it was feral, hungry, and dominating. We can see the contract in how they hold each other. Melissa has her hands on Shauna’s waist, a more loving gesture, and she’s fully leaning into the kiss. Meanwhile, Shauna kept the knife to her throat, establishing dominance and control in the situation. She did not care what Melissa was thinking, she cared about what she wanted, and at that moment she was craving the feeling this kiss was giving her. She didn’t let go of the knife because she needed to stay in control and have the power. After feeling so exposed and in a vulnerable state when Melissa found the grave, this was her way to reclaim control of the situation by dominating her in the kiss while craving something she wanted at that moment.

As we can see, this kiss was something completely unexpected for both of them. I know some people think Melissa specifically went after Shauna to gain power and protection, but that’s inconsistent with what we have seen so far. She couldn’t have predicted how Shauna would react to her. That and as mentioned before, Shauna is very isolated and considered unstable by the others; she’s not the best pick if you are after power and protection. If anything, Melissa put herself in more danger by pursuing Shauna. She had no reason to even pursue power and protection at that point. They were relatively safe; her best friend Gen was the new hunter, working directly under their leader Nat, and Melissa seemed to get along with most of the group at that point. She was in a comfy situation where there was no reason for her to go after Shauna- unless she actually had feelings for her.

That brings me to my next point. Did Melissa actually love Shauna? It’s a loaded question that even Jenna struggled to answer. It’s undeniable that Melissa, at the very least, had a crush on Shauna and strong feelings for her that she would call love. According to Jenna, in Melissa’s mind, she and Shauna were the love story of her life. Now, you might bring up the fact that adult Melissa claimed that she never loved Shauna, and to that I would reply “why are you believing anything this woman is saying?”. I’d rather keep the 25 years later stuff for later, but I’ll just clarify for this section. It’s possible adult Melissa is either lying or is in denial. After all, 25 years have passed and people’s perception can change. When asked about this, Jenna had something interesting to say. That what you believe to be love as a 17 years old might differ from a 42 years old. After 25 years, Melissa can have reflected on that and decided, as a grown woman, that it wasn’t love. But it doesn’t change the fact that currently, for the teen Melissa, what she feels is love and it’s what informs her actions throughout the teen timeline. She wasn’t using Shauna, her primary goal wasn’t to get power or safety for herself, it was to get with Shauna. At least, for now it’s her main goal. More on that later.

After the kiss (season 3, episode 3)

Let’s skip after the kiss. The next time we see Shauna and Melissa together is when Melissa followed Shauna around and found her writing in her journal, which Shauna called “stalking”. The way both of them acted is interesting. Shauna at first showed a lack of interest, barely looking at Melissa and still writing in her diary. The kiss hasn’t affected her the same way it did Melissa. For Shauna, it might have been a one-time thing, something she can brush off because she doesn’t actually care about Melissa at that time. I’d say there’s a high chance if Melissa didn’t approach her again, Shauna would have moved on. Shauna has too much on her mind to put too much thought into this.

But for Melissa, the kiss meant a lot. It felt like perhaps there was a chance Shauna could reciprocate her feelings, so she approached her as such. She was nervous, shy, awkward, clearly came with a prepared speech in mind, she might have rehearsed in her head a few times. But when Shauna spoke first, it threw off Melissa, who had something she had planned to say. Instead of replying to what Shauna accused her of (stalking), Melissa still went with what she originally planned to say, coming off as very nervous and awkward. Her outfit is also worth noting. Other than in winter, where characters would just wear as many layers as possible to keep themselves warm, Melissa is never seen wearing a skirt in season 3. This is the first time she has worn one. She also took the time to braid her hair. It was as if she were dressing up to “impress” Shauna. Trying to look her best to go see her crush. Because to her, the kiss was romantic, and she had hope that there could be something between them now. She was imagining they could just have a talk about what happened and maybe start a relationship.

She was not expecting to be met with complete indifference. Melissa was clearly shocked and upset by Shauna seemingly not caring. And probably hurt too. Perhaps it wasn’t the first time she kissed a girl only to be ignored after, and have the other girl act as if it never happened, due to the 90s homophobia. So Melissa turned around, probably feeling dumb to have hoped in the first place… but then Shauna called her and told her she could stay- if she wanted.

Why the change of heart from Shauna? I think if Melissa never approached her again, Shauna might have moved on, yes. But since Melissa did come back and let it be known she was still interested, part of Shauna wanted to know why. Shauna is at a point where she can’t fathom someone wanting to be with her. She feels like everyone turns their back on her, but then there’s this girl who’s relatively unknown to her, who is showing interest in her. I don’t think Shauna had an interest in Melissa, but she had an interest in why Melissa was interested in her. It was curiosity at best. So she gave Melissa a choice, if she wanted to stay, instead of making the decision herself. And Melissa did stay.

Of course, Melissa would want to stay. Her crush allowed her to be near her. To her, it was an opportunity, and she could still hope Shauna would reciprocate her interest. But she just sat down, silent, probably too shy and nervous to actually say something. This led Shauna to ask her if she’s going to turn out to be “fucking boring”. Melissa probably didn’t know what to reply to that, so instead she just smiled awkwardly, then her gaze on Shauna looked loving. She truly was heartstruck by her. And for the rare time this season, Shauna smiled (well, smirked). She looked up and down Melissa like it was the first time she actually took the time to appraise her. First she noticed Melissa did have a personality, and now she noticed what she looked like. Judging by her expression, Shauna did like what she saw. It might not have been an actual attraction at that point, but Melissa’s appearance was deemed okay for Shauna at that moment.

There are a few tidbits in the rest of this episode that are interesting. One of them is technically a deleted scene. After Mari had come back and revealed Ben was still out there, Shauna asks, “Anyone that wants to come with me?” which, according to Jenna, Melissa raised her hand and said “Me!” while pushing through the others. It’s a shame it got cut because not only does it sound funny, it shows how eager Melissa was to get on Shauna’s good side. Though that might be why it was cut, to leave this development for episode 4. Either way, at the end of the episode, when they found Van, Akilah and Shauna unconscious because of the gas, Melissa was standing next to Shauna and looked very concerned for her. It’s not really visible in the episode itself, but you can see it in some of the stills. If anything, that furthered my point that she does care for Shauna.

The Courtship (season 3, episode 4)

Alright, episode 4 is where Melissa’s infatuation with Shauna starts to show signs of being a bit more insidious. This isn’t just a simple crush anymore, Melissa actually has hope she can be with Shauna at this point. Shauna hasn’t fully reciprocated yet, but didn’t push away Melissa. She even told her she hopes she won’t turn out to be boring, something I’m sure Melissa took to heart. Shauna gave her a challenge, a condition for her if she wants to be worthy of her. It enboldened her and led her to more extreme actions.  And this whole episode, especially the trial, was Melissa trying to impress Shauna, to show her she won’t be boring, that she can count on her and that she has her back. She wants Shauna to like her and view her as useful, as someone she needs and is worthy to be by her side. And that’s not just how I feel about that, that’s also what Jenna said. That the trial was Melissa’s “stage” and she was putting on a performance to impress Shauna. The crazy eyes she was giving were on purpose. Essentially, she’s trying to show her that she can match her freak.

This episode is when Melissa started to take more questionable actions on behalf of Shauna. I don’t think she knew for sure that Ben burned down the cabin, but she did not care. What mattered to her was that Shauna wanted him to be guilty, and she was going to do anything she could to ensure that, for Shauna. Her infatuation with Shauna started to negatively affect others, it came at the detriment of the people around her. First there is Gen, who is Melissa’s closest friend, who Melissa pressured into voting guilty. Gen clearly was not comfortable with that and felt bad for doing so. But she was being pressured by both Melissa and Shauna. Mel put her in a tough position where she had to choose between standing up with Nat, whom she respects, or doing what Melissa wanted. It’s not the worst thing someone can do, but it’s still bad to pressure someone who is supposed to be your friend and who is clearly uncomfortable to do something like that.

It shows Melissa is willing to use her own friends to further her goal, which is to be with Shauna. Then the other person who was hurt by Melissa’s desire to be with Shauna was Ben, who ended up being voted guilty, even though he was most likely innocent. She contributed to getting a man the death sentence because she was in love with Shauna. This is how sinister her infatuation with Shauna had become. It wasn’t just an innocent crush anymore, but something that could be hurtful to others. Not that I think Melissa was viewing it that way or was intentionally being hurtful, in her mind, all she was doing was supporting the girl she loves and maybe getting her to like her back. It’s a lack of concern for how her actions affect others because she’s too focused on one thing: Shauna.

Another interesting detail in that episode is how much Melissa is shown looking at Shauna during the trial. She looked very on edge when Shauna was questioned by Misty and Taissa. But the more interesting detail is when Ben is doing his speech. Most of them, including Shauna, are listening to him, some of them feeling moved by what he is saying. Melissa is not focusing on Ben, she is looking at Shauna. As I said earlier, Melissa's priority is Shauna, and everything else, including Ben, is secondary to her at the moment. I think she was trying to see how Ben's speech was affecting Shauna, to decide how she should feel about it, too. As Jenna said, this was a performance for her to impress Shauna. And she did a fantastic job portraying how everything she was doing was about Shauna and how this was her main focus.

As for Shauna, after intimidating the jury into voting guilty, she got a taste of what she views as power. And I think so did Melissa. I said earlier Melissa didn’t seek power from Shauna, but I do believe after this episode, she got a taste of power, or rather the power she saw in Shauna. This added to her attraction to her. This gave her a rush to see what she helped Shauna accomplish. This got so much into her head that she dared to express that to Shauna, whom she suspects desires power, with such confidence she’s usually lacking around her. And I think at this moment, Shauna did start to see something in Melissa. Someone who perhaps can actually understand what she desires, and can support her. And that led to this strange hand-holding they did, Shauna giving Melissa a little treat for her help, something to keep her loyal to her. Kind of like giving a treat to a dog after they were good. But I don’t think Shauna was ready yet to go further; this was just a little something to keep Melissa interested in her, but her heart wasn’t there yet. And that’s something we see in the next episode.

Speaking of heart, I want you to pay attention to the feather on Melissa's shirt. Jenna was asked about that on Instagram, and she said Melissa sewed it there herself on her shirt for "formality". It's on her left side, where her heart is. Not that it's important for this episode itself, but this will be once I reach episode 7. So keep that detail in mind.

When the Ship sailed (season 3, episode 5)

Then comes episode 5, where Melissa is still supporting whatever Shauna is proposing. Burning Ben alive? Sure, why not, whatever you want, babe. Except Shauna feels a bit put off by how enthusiastic Melissa is to go along with what she wants. Maybe part of her starts to feel a little bit suspicious. It’s echoed when they have a discussion later. Shauna is in disbelief that Melissa could like her. I think she doesn’t believe anyone could like the person she has become. Despite how aggressive Shauna has become by that point, she is still self-aware that her actions are not making her particularly likable, and she’s dealing with a lot of self-loathing. Especially due to her guilt regarding what happened to Jackie.

We can see that the trial and the hand-holding gave more confidence to Melissa. It kept her going now that she has more hope for a relationship. We don’t know exactly when she started to work on the sheath, but this was definitely a well-thought-out gift. Something she knew could be useful for Shauna. Something she put a lot of time and care into making. She even put the initial “S” on it and wrapped it up to make it look pretty.

Not going to lie, I initially did not recognize that it was a sheath, so I thought Melissa was giving Shauna some wilderness bouquet. But my point is, this was a nice, personalized gift for someone she loves. And in itself, it was a cute and thoughtful gesture. Now, we could talk about the symbolism of it. Melissa is making a sheath for the knife that Shauna nearly killed her with. A subtle way to show how she’s enabling her violent side. But also, how Melissa believes she can contain said violent side. It’s as if she believes she can be the sheath to Shauna’s knife, that just like those two items, they “fit” together. There’s also an intimate connotation regarding a sheath and (usually) a sword, replaced here by a knife. That’s all to say, it is both a genuine gift but also carries a darker meaning regarding their relationship.

Let’s go back to the scene itself. Melissa once again followed Shauna and tried to engage in a conversation with her. Shauna isn’t in the mood for company and signals to Melissa that she wants to be left alone. Unlike last time, Mel doesn’t take it too personally as she has come to have a better understanding of Shauna and knows she isn’t being rejected. She still wants to give her the gift she made for her and started to walk away. When Shauna saw the gift, she was shocked. She couldn’t believe someone who put time and effort into making her something. She even asked why Melissa even liked her. She doesn’t even like herself so why would someone else do? I do think she’s still suspicious of Melissa’s intention, given Shauna’s paranoid nature and inability to think she’s worthy of being loved.

At this point, Melissa had learned more about Shauna and how to interact with her. She knows she shouldn’t just say what she thinks Shauna needs to hear, but what she wants to hear. This is the part that caused some issues among certain people, when Melissa said that Jackie “treated Shauna like shit”. Obviously, the truth is far more nuanced than that. We know as viewers that Jackie did care for Shauna. But does Melissa know? She wasn’t privy to the personal moments between Jackie and Shauna or their individual thoughts. All she knows of them is what she could observe. She most likely based her opinion of how Jackie and Jeff treated Shauna on their last argument, because that’s what would have impacted her the most. Also, Melissa’s goal is to date Shauna, so of course she’s going to badmouth these two. It’s nothing personal against them, she probably didn’t really know them. But she knows that’s what Shauna wants to hear. She wants to believe she was being victimized, so she feels less guilty about this. Melissa is validating Shauna’s feelings, regardless if they are right or wrong. In a way, it was manipulative of Melissa to do that. Then she complimented Shauna’s “bad parts”, because she knows it’s probably something Shauna is complexed about. But Melissa wants her to know she loves those parts of her, that she’s not afraid of her, that she embraces every part of her. Despite the manipulation, she does want Shauna to know she does like her. And that gift was her way to show her love for her. This does seem to have an effect on Shauna as she even thanks Melissa for the gift, even smiling at her, and the latter promptly leaves to give Shauna the space she needed.

I’d like to comment on Melissa’s outfit. Other than the fact I personally find it atrocious, Melissa’s choice to wear a vest is interesting. It’s not a practical choice, it’s summer after all, and she’s clearly not cold given she only wears a t-shirt and shorts. People have pointed out that wearing that vest might have been a way to emulate Jackie’s fashion style, so it could have been part of Melissa’s strategy to impress Shauna. Just like I think she dressed to impress Shauna in episode 3, I think she might have done so too here. And hey, I guess it worked in the end.

Fast forward to the end of the episode, where things took a dark turn. Shauna has been charged with cutting Ben’s Achilles to ensure he can’t escape. Now, a lot of people misunderstood that scene as something Shauna decided to do on her own. It wasn’t. This was a group decision; Shauna was merely assigned that task. Shauna decided to bring Melissa with her. As I said earlier, Shauna was still suspicious of her, and we know Shauna doesn’t really trust people anymore. So she decided to use this as an opportunity to test Melissa’s devotion to her. Melissa may say she likes her, that she accepts her “bad parts”, she may give her gifts, but can she truly be trusted? To what extent is she willing to go for Shauna? That’s what she decided to test by making Melissa do the cutting. At first Melissa refused, which is a reasonable reaction. Most people would feel aversion at the idea of hurting someone else. But then Shauna was now the one being manipulative, using Melissa’s own words against her, telling her she also needs to embrace her “bad parts”. Then, desperate for Shauna’s approval, Melissa did as she was told with some hesitation. I don’t think she enjoyed hurting Ben in itself, but she did enjoy seeing that it pleased Shauna.

On Shauna’s side, she had her answer. She could, to a certain degree, trust Melissa. She had proven her loyalty to her. Shauna had found a companion who could actually stand by her side and accept her for who she was now, including her bad parts. Shauna decided that Melissa had passed her test and made their relationship official to everyone by holding her bloody hand, symbolizing how she shares the blame with her for what they did to Ben. Melissa was willing to dirty her hands for her, so Shauna showed she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty either. They were now linked by the blood they spilled together and showed it to everyone. Then Shauna dragged Melissa to her hut, officially accepting her as her partner for everyone to see, or even publicly “claiming” her. Melissa seemed surprised at first. Not only did she look like she was somewhat dissociating after cutting Ben, as the thrill was starting to drop and she was realizing what she had done, but then Shauna publicly held her hand, the hand that was covered in blood. She had finally gotten what she wanted, at a bloody price. It was a lot for her to handle and process.

Then, before entering Shauna’s hut, we see her turn around, but it’s unclear exactly what that meant. It seemed like she might have been looking at Van or Gen specifically, given their position in that scene, or just the group as a whole. I personally think she wanted them to know she was now dating Shauna. Not necessarily to be smug or brag about it, but because this was something she had been hoping for a while now, and she finally succeeded. She was proud of herself and wanted people to see what she had accomplished. She needed for it to feel real and to be acknowledged by the others. As for what happened in the hut after that… the show leaves it to our imagination (and the fanfic writers, bless them).

Shauna and Melissa’s relationship so far (analysis intermission)

Alright, I’m halfway through the season now, and since we reached the point where they are officially dating, it’s time to discuss why they are together. As in, what they see in each other and what they gain from that relationship.

Let’s start with Melissa. This one might be easier since we know she loves Shauna, so that’s the main reason why she wants to be in a relationship with her. I mentioned earlier that she was drawn to her due to relating to her loneliness, but she was also attracted to her brutal sides, to her “bad parts”. But a lot of people wondered why Melissa would want to be in a relationship with someone she knows is violent and could be dangerous to her, going as far as to blame her when Shauna inevitably does abuse her. More on that later, since this will be touched upon once I’m talking about episode 9. For now, let’s focus on why Melissa wants to stay in that relationship.

At the beginning of this analysis, I talked about Melissa as a character and this is when this is going to be relevant. She’s a gay teenager in the 90s who most likely never had the chance to have an actual relationship with another girl. They are currently stuck in a situation where they don’t know if they will survive. They don’t have the luxury to think about the future, or even hope to have a future beyond the wilderness. So for someone like Melissa, who ended up kissing Shauna by pure chance and then starting a relationship with her, this is probably not something she’d want to let go of. From her perspective, someone like Shauna would normally be considered “out of league” if it wasn’t for their current situation. So of course Melissa is going to grab that opportunity with both hands. She wants to experience being in a relationship with a girl she loves at least once in her life, because she doesn’t know if she will ever get the chance again. Both because she doesn’t know if she will survive the wilderness, but because even if she does and gets rescued, this is the 90s. Society isn’t particularly accepting of gay people. The series itself took the time to show that the fear of homophobia was strong enough that Taissa didn’t want to be rescued. So it’s a fair assumption that part of Melissa knows that if they do get rescued, she won’t have the same freedom anymore to date a girl. Dating Shauna might feel like her only chance to experience that in her life, so she doesn’t want to let go of this opportunity. I can also draw a parallel to Jackie in season 1 not wanting to die a virgin so she decided to have sex with Travis. Similarly, Melissa wants to experience a relationship, she wants to experience love, sex, all of it, in case she might never have the chance to do so again. Also, what else is there to do in the wilderness? Might as well enjoy the present moment.

We could add that at this point, she probably does seek a bit of power and protection from Shauna, now that she is finally in her good graces. "People are willing to do messed up things just to see another day" as she said herself. She wants to survive. She feels safer being on Shauna’s side now that she’s her girlfriend. So I’d say, the reason why Melissa stayed with Shauna for so long is a mixture of genuine love and attraction for her, the fear she might never get the chance to experience a relationship again, and for protection.

As for Shauna, why is she with Melissa? First, I need to dismantle two misconceptions. Unlike popular belief, Melissa is not a replacement for Jackie. No one can replace Jackie in Shauna’s eyes. But make no mistake, this is still very much about Jackie. Shauna/Melissa is meant to be a reversal of Jackie/Shauna. Melissa isn’t replacing Jackie because Shauna is. Or at least, Shauna is emulating this twisted version of Jackie she made in her mind. Which means Melissa is actually replacing Shauna- or rather, the person Shauna used to be when Jackie was still alive. This is something Sophie Nélisse mentioned, that Shauna can see her past self in Melissa. Shauna wants to be the Jackie for once, and have her own Shauna who follows her around and who she feels she can control, because that’s how she felt with Jackie. Her relationship with Melissa is yet another way to cope with her complex feelings regarding Jackie, the love and hate she feels towards her, her unadmitted attraction to her, her unassumed queerness as a whole.

The second misconception is that Shauna doesn’t like Melissa. I think she does and we are shown in the series that she does. Of course, what she feels towards Melissa will never compare to what she felt for Jackie. I don’t think Shauna can love anyone more than she loved Jackie. But, it doesn’t mean she didn’t have some feelings towards Melissa. Maybe not genuine romantic love, but at least a certain fondness for her, and did like having her by her side. If Shauna didn’t like Melissa, she wouldn’t probably not tolerate her presence the way she does. She wouldn’t have threatened Mari to take care of her after she got hurt. She wouldn’t have tried to reconcile with Melissa after she was upset over the arrow incident and she wouldn’t have been this mad when Melissa tried to leave her later. In her own ways, Shauna showed that she did like and care about Melissa. Accepting that doesn’t remove the love she has for Jackie, it doesn’t take anything away from Jackie and Shauna’s relationship. If anything, it strengthens it.

Shauna likes Melissa for what she brings to her. She allows her to be in a relationship where she is the one in control, she makes Shauna feel powerful. She loves having someone who is beneath her and whom she has power over. Melissa also validates her feelings, help her cope with the guilt she feels over Jackie’s death. Also, as much as Shauna isolated herself from the rest of the group, it doesn’t mean she likes to be alone. She does miss Jackie. Melissa might not be a replacement for Jackie specifically, her presence still fills a void in Shauna. She has someone to share a bed with again, someone who can bring her some form of comfort, and satisfy a need for intimacy. And same for Melissa, what else is there to do when you are stuck in the wilderness? Melissa has always proven her devotion to her, so she might as well take what she’s being offered. She has nothing to lose and all to gain from someone who is this giving towards her. And all of this is why she’s with Melissa. For the power, the comfort, the gratification it brings her. But part of her did come to like and care for Melissa beyond that, and I’ll touch upon that later.

The Calm before the Storm (season 3, episodes 6 and 7)

Alright, let’s move to episode 6. It has been months now that Shauna and Melissa have been dating. And judging by how casually Melissa can hug Shauna from behind and Shauna accepting this gesture of affection (in public, no less), it’s safe to assume they did have a relatively peaceful relationship so far. Melissa used to be so careful whenever she interacted with Shauna before, so for her to be able to do that so casually means it has become something she’s used to do with Shauna. They are close enough for PDA. It’s unclear if Shauna likes that, but she at least tolerates it. If she hated it, she wouldn’t allow Melissa to do that.

Interesting point to note, Taissa noticed that Shauna seemed “better” since she’s dating Melissa. Of course, Shauna isn’t actually “better” on a deeper level, but Melissa’s presence at the very least helps, even if it’s just making Shauna less aggressive in general. Enough for Taissa to consider that Shauna seems “better”. And Melissa does seem satisfied with that relationship, maybe even a bit proud. Not much is shown of them for the rest of the episode, but Melissa is quick to turn against Nat after she kills Ben, possibly because she knows this is what Shauna wants, showing that she’s still acting like her loyal lapdog. Nat being shunned by the group benefits her as it would allow Shauna to take over. Ultimately, it was Lottie who crowned Shauna their new queen, but it was something Melissa was looking forward to. She is seen later during the feast with Shauna, clearly enjoying the new position her girlfriend got.

Then we move to episode 7, when the group is discovered by some outsiders. After Lottie kills one of them, they have to chase the other two. If you pay attention, Melissa is actually one of those who reacted the fastest. She was all the way in the back and sprinted to go catch them (watch this clip to see what I mean). I think it’s possible she was this eager to catch them because she wanted to impress Shauna. She felt a bit too confident, emboldened by her relationship with Shauna. Her rushing the fastest might be why Kodiak decided to shoot her specifically. As Jenna said, she “simped too much to the sun”. So it would make sense that her infatuation with Shauna could have led to her getting injured. Either way, after being shot, Melissa’s first reaction is to call for Shauna, asking her not to leave her. A normal request one would make if they are injured and in pain, to ask for their significant other to stay with them. It might have been unreasonable for Melissa to expect Shauna to stay, but it’s not unrealistic for her to ask that. She was hurt, in pain and scared for her life.

Shauna ultimately didn’t stay, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t care or wasn’t worried for Melissa. She did threaten to kill Mari if she let Melissa die, which does show she did care. But the way Shauna shows she cares is with violence, because she’s the type who resorts to violence to get what she wants. She was also willing to kill Hannah, not only because she was a potential witness, but because of what Kodi did to Melissa. Once again, showing she cares with violence. The only reason she spared Hannah is because she promised medical supplies, showing once again that Shauna did care enough about Melissa to value having those supplies. In Shauna’s head, what she did was right. She made sure someone would take care of Melissa, she chased after the people who hurt her girlfriend, and she managed to bring one of them back as well as medical supplies.

But from Melissa’s perspective, Shauna had abandoned her when she needed her the most. Melissa probably rarely ever asks anything from Shauna other than being her girlfriend. This is a relationship where Melissa is the one who gives the most. And she was fine with that, until the moment she actually needed something from Shauna. By leaving, Shauna showed her that when she actually does need something from her, she won’t get it. Melissa spent the entire night in pain, with an arrow stuck in her shoulder, scared that she might die. She wanted her girlfriend by her side at that moment, and she couldn’t get Shauna to even do that for her. The look she gave Shauna when she came back speaks for itself. For the first time, Melissa couldn’t overlook the red flags. She realized Shauna’s “bad parts” we bad for her too. This incident was the first push to break her rose-tinted glasses. She realized Shauna wouldn’t be there for her when she actually needed it, that she can’t protect her from harm, and she started to doubt Shauna even liked her.

I love how Jenna compared this to the myth of Cupid's two arrows, where one arrow can make you fall in love, while the other makes you fall out of love. Interestingly, Melissa got shot on the right side, the opposite of where her heart is. And in episode 4, she wore a feather on the left side of her shirt (yeah, that's why I told you to remember that detail). Not only could it have been a foreshadowing of her getting shot, but represents one of the arrows. Melissa, in that episode, was desperately trying to impress Shauna, she was still madly in love with her. And she wore that feather on her left side, where her heart is, symbolizing how she was falling more in love with Shauna after the trial. And she is the one who sewed that feather there, symbolizing she chose to pursue her love for Shauna. Then, the actual arrow she got shot with in her right side symbolizes Melissa "falling out" of love, or rather, realizing this love wasn't good for her.

The beginning of the End (season 3, episode 8)

We continue to see the resentment Melissa feels towards Shauna now in episode 8. She openly scoffs at Shauna when Hannah mistakes her for their captain. Melissa eventually expressed that frustration to Shauna once they were in their hut. Shauna is quick to dismiss Melissa’s anger as if it’s not a big deal. I was surprised at first about how Melissa was so upfront about being angry with Shauna, especially with Shauna’s reaction being “what’s your problem this time”. This does seem to imply it’s not the first time Melissa has had an issue with Shauna. That perhaps their relationship wasn’t as “peaceful” as it seemed in episode 6. They had moments before where they disagreed and perhaps even got into arguments. I think Melissa had accumulated a lot of frustration towards Shauna in these past few months, that she was shoving deep down inside of her because she was desperate to stay with Shauna, or was making justification for Shauna because of the sympathy she had for what she went through. But after the arrow incident, that frustration finally exploded with the loud "YOU" she told Shauna when she asked what her problem was.

It does feel like a huge red flag for me that Shauna reacted so dismissively to Melissa saying “I can’t wait to be away from you, even rolling her eyes in annoyance. As if it’s not something that she should be worried about. I think Shauna is used to having Melissa being sometimes upset at her, so to her this is nothing new. And given how very much still in love we saw Melissa being with Shauna in episode 6, it probably always ended up the same way. With Melissa forgiving Shauna for whatever she had done to her. So Shauna attempted to smooth-talk her, trying to appease her like she probably did the other time Melissa was upset at her. Shauna expected that this would be no different this time.

Except this time it was different. Melissa didn’t have to tolerate Shauna’s behavior. Because unlike the other times, she now had the hope of being rescued, she had hope for a future outside the wilderness. She still had feelings for Shauna, but if they got rescued, there was no guarantee Shauna would still be with her. After all, Shauna left her behind when she actually needed her. So for Melissa, if she had to end things with Shauna, or at least finally express her frustration with her girlfriend, now was the time. At least she wouldn’t be losing everything.

Shauna did look taken aback to see Melissa was upset about the arrow thing. She genuinely thought she did the right thing. For a split second, maybe Shauna did consider that perhaps she had been wrong. But this is Shauna we are talking about. She isn’t the type to admit being wrong. So she changed her tactic, telling Melissa to “believe what she wants”, pushing the responsibility on her, making Melissa doubt herself. Then Shauna opted for something she knows works on Melissa: violence. She told Melissa she might kill Kodiak for her. And this does seem to work, showing that despite her frustration with Shauna, part of her still likes her violent side, and finds the idea that her girlfriend would kill for her appealing. If she was starting to think Shauna might not like her, this probably makes her feel like she does. Their relationship has been built with violence, from their first kiss being a knife point to Shauna finally dating her after she injured Ben. So part of her might associate violence with love. Then Shauna tells her to “stop being a bitch” and hands her her hat, which seems to have sealed the deal with Melissa forgiving Shauna. Calling her a bitch might have been something playful between them, but this could also be a warning. Something Shauna tells her when Melissa is crossing a line and she wants her to behave. 

Melissa’s demeanour changes afterward, asking Shauna what she wants to do once they get rescued. I think part of her wanted to see if Shauna had any intention to stay with her outside the wilderness. When she noticed that Shauna was zoning out, her first instinct was to ask her if she would bring the sheath she had made for her with her, since it symbolizes their relationship. I think Melissa rambling so much about what she wanted to do was her being nervous, because she was uncertain about her relationship with Shauna once they got rescued and was seeking reassurance. She needed to know she was right for forgiving Shauna this time and that all of this was worth it. Handing her her sheath is a way to see if Shauna is still interested in their relationship, “bring it home” with her could symbolize “bringing our relationship home” too. At that time Shauna was having an existential crisis, because she can’t imagine herself going back home without Jackie. She absentmindedly took the sheath, her hand shaking. Melissa smiles when Shauna takes the sheath, so I think part of her wanted to believe this meant their relationship was still salvageable and it was worth it for her to still put up with Shauna. It’s also interesting to note that they both handed each other an item. Shauna handed Melissa her hat, which she knows Melissa is attached to, while Melissa handed Shauna her sheath, which she hopes Shauna has an attachment to.

The Breakup (season 3, episode 9)

Now we move to episode 9, where Shauna has decided that they won’t leave after all. We see that at first, Melissa is part of “Team Crazy” (those who don’t want to leave). It’s obvious that Melissa does want to get rescued and she’s there mostly because Shauna is part of that team. She still wants to be with Shauna and might hope that staying is only temporary, given that’s what Taissa said. Shauna acted somewhat rudely to Melissa during the Team Crazy meeting, showing that she is taking for granted that Melissa won’t leave her. After she forgave her for the arrow incident, Shauna fell back into her old habit. She’s also starting to grow more and more paranoid regarding “Team Rescue”, thinking that they are plotting against her. So that makes her more snappy, even towards her girlfriend.

Then we reached the infamous breakup scene. Let’s start from the beginning. Melissa is charged with watching over the hostages, which include Hannah. This is a scene that showed that despite some questionable and even reprehensible behaviors Melissa showed throughout the season (especially when it came to Shauna), she is capable of genuine compassion, immediately showing sympathy to Hannah when she learned she had a daughter. It makes sense for Melissa to be particularly empathetic to this, given this is something she strongly felt towards Shauna too, she felt bad for her regarding the loss of her child. An interesting comment Melissa made while she was bonding with Hannah is about “horny teenage girls”. I think it’s fair to assume it’s about her and Shauna. Van was right, they really were living in “fun huts”. More seriously, this is just a confirmation that Shauna and Melissa were sexually active (and a lot if it’s enough for Mel to call them horny), but being intimate was already heavily implied at the end of episode 5.

Moving on to the more heavy aspect of this scene. Shauna caught Melissa laughing with Hannah and it set her off. Melissa could tell something was wrong and immediately went after Shauna to check on her. She was worried but she also failed to realize how serious this was for Shauna. But why was Shauna so upset? For multiple reasons I'd say. First, she was starting to be more and more paranoid, so seeing her girlfriend, who was also her biggest and most loyal ally, bonding with their hostage, someone who represented potential rescue, felt like a threat to Shauna. She was already on edge because of Team Rescue, so this just worsened her growing paranoia. There might also be some jealousy at play, to see her girlfriend seemingly having a good time with not only another woman, but someone Shauna isn’t familiar with, as well as someone Shauna views as a threat.

Shauna isn’t wrong to be suspicious of Hannah. She is right to be worried about her trying to manipulate Melissa, because that’s what Hannah was doing. We know as viewers that Hannah was lying, she doesn’t have custody of her child, so she was trying to make Melissa feel sympathy for her- and it worked. But I wouldn’t fault Melissa for falling for it, as she did so because she was being empathetic. 

When Melissa first joined Shauna in the hut she seemed relatively calm. This is probably not the first time she had to deal with an upset Shauna, where she had to calm her down through talking and trying to appease her. Melissa probably thought this was going to be just like all these other times. But this was different, for the same reason it was different in the previous episode when Melissa was upset at Shauna, and that is because rescue is now an option. Just as rescue provided Melissa with some hope, it had the opposite impact on Shauna and re-ignited her trauma. Melissa failed to realize that, and it led to her unintentionally making things worse. Melissa tried to appeal to Shauna by mentioning that Hannah had a daughter, which she might have thought would work since Shauna knows how it feels to lose a child. She thought perhaps this was something Shauna could relate to and help her understand why she felt bad for Hannah.

But of course, it had the opposite effect. Shauna got upset because Melissa’s compassion didn’t feel unique to her anymore. Melissa being able to sympathize with a stranger over something Shauna considered was a lie made her sympathy for her feel less special, like something she’d give to anyone. Not only did it cheapen Melissa’s compassion for her in her eyes, the fact she was convinced Hannah was lying made her view Melissa with contempt for falling for it. It’s not just naive, it’s stupidity in her eyes, and also hurtful. Shauna felt hurt by Melissa’s words, so she had to hurt her back because this is the only way she knows how to express her pain now.

So she berated Melissa, belittled her, told her how stupid she thought she was. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time Shauna snapped at Melissa that way, and in different circumstances, Melissa would have just taken it. Maybe that’s what Shauna expected to happen. Melissa realized she was being naive for trusting Hannah and agreeing with Shauna as she usually does. But the situation was different. Rescue was an option now. Melissa didn’t have to tolerate Shauna’s abuse anymore. She finally reached her limit and decided to stand up for herself, feeling genuinely hurt by how Shauna was treating her over something she didn’t view as wrong.

The way Melissa storms out of the hut is similar to how Jackie stormed out of the cabin. She even grabbed a blue blanket on her way out. I think this contributed to how erratic Shauna’s behaviors were. Her very violent reaction to Melissa trying to leave has many causes. First, she didn’t like to lose control over her. In the current situation, where Shauna was already feeling like she was losing control over the group, this only exacerbated it. Especially coming from Melissa, someone who has always been so devoted to her. And doing so in public, no less. Shauna was desperately grasping at any power she could still hold among the group and towards Melissa. But also, part of her was scared she was going to lose Melissa, someone she had grown to care about. Shauna had already lost people she cared about. Telling Melissa that “no one gave a shit about you until me” was cruel, but it was also her way to tell Melissa that she did “give a shit” about her. She’s just unable to express it in a healthy way, so she has to resort to violence to express it. There’s also a bit of projection here, as Shauna did feel like she was “nothing” when she was with Jackie, thinking that she was making her invisible. Since Melissa acts as a proxy for herself, she is projection how Jackie made her feel onto her. This might also be a bit of a meta comment, given Melissa as a character became more prominent thanks to her relationship with Shauna.

As for Melissa, her reaction is what you’d expect from someone being verbally attacked by her girlfriend. She is hurt and being publicly berated by Shauna, so she reacts to that abuse by lashing out, calling Shauna “nuts” because to her, that’s how Shauna was behaving. She was acting so violently towards her over something Melissa didn’t consider wrong. Melissa specifically looking at the other girls to tell them “you are right, she is nuts” led me to believe they did try in the past to reason with Melissa, to try to make her see that Shauna wasn’t good for her. And at this moment, Melissa finally realized that they were right. The rose-tinted glasses had finally shattered, and she could see the red flags and decided she had had enough. This relationship was not worth it.

For Shauna, getting called “nuts” especially publicly, just aggravated her feeling that everyone was treating her as crazy. This is when she finally resorted to threatening Melissa with a gun, because she felt like her authority was being threatened. For Melissa to publicly call her nuts was a threat to Shauna’s fragile sense of control over the group. And for Melissa to dare her to shoot her was an even bigger threat. Something Shauna felt like she couldn’t let her get away with, for the sake of preserving the amount of power she still held.

I don’t think Melissa thought Shauna would actually shoot her, and I don’t think Shauna actually wanted to kill Melissa. But they were both so angry and upset. Melissa was angry enough that she was willing to challenge Shauna, her anger taking over her reason. It's not like it was the first time Shauna threatened her with a weapon. She had to show Shauna she wasn’t scared of her and wouldn’t back down anymore when she mistreats her. Now, for Shauna, if she wanted Melissa dead, from their distance, I think she wouldn’t have missed. I think she missed on purpose, but she missed better than she anticipated and got so close to hitting Melissa with the bullet.

Melissa’s reaction is interesting. For a moment, she definitely thought she had been shot and might die. It’s normal in a situation where you fear for your life to wet yourself. But this wasn’t just that for Melissa. It was also a trauma response. Let’s not forget that Melissa had recently been shot and nearly died. This incident with the arrow was definitely traumatizing for her, with the pain and the fear of dying, which lasted an entire night. So it’s reasonable to think getting shot at again, by her girlfriend, no less, was triggering for her. The way Melissa froze afterward. She was so in shock she couldn’t move, or even try to cover herself, or even cry. She could barely react to what was happening. She was shutting down. Van had to pull the blanket out of her hand so she could cover her with it, then help her move. It was truly a scene hard to watch and Jenna’s performance here was phenomenal.

Shauna might not have anticipated she’d come this close to hit Melissa, and she probably did intend to miss, but this went better than she expected. She managed to avoid actually killing Melissa while also asserting control over her for everyone to see, a twisted way for her to hold on to her power in the group. She might not have killed Melissa, or even physically hurt her, she did have an impact on her body. She made her wet herself in front of everyone. And Shauna did enjoy it. She smirked when she saw the effect she had on Melissa. She got some twisted gratification at humiliating her in front of everyone, something that temporarily made Shauna feel powerful again as she so desperately needed to.

Before I move on from this scene, I would like to address some takes I have seen online that I have issues with. First of all, there is no justification for being abused, even if Melissa put herself in that situation. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is victim blaming and extremely wrong to do so. But from what I saw online after episode 9 aired, it looks like I actually do have to. This is why I took the time to explain why Melissa decided to date Shauna and stay with her despite knowing she could be dangerous and violent. But I don’t think she needs a reason for doing so. People can make mistakes, they can make terrible decisions, they can act stupid, it does not mean they deserve to be abused or that they are to blame. Ultimately, the blame is on the abuser. We can discuss how Melissa contributed to the situation that led to her getting abused without saying she “deserved” it. Especially given that what started the argument was her showing compassion to Hannah. Not that Melissa would have deserved it if it wasn’t the case, but if there is one moment where she definitely did not deserve to be hurt, that’d be this one.

Secondly, no, Melissa was not being hypocritical for telling Shauna “why can’t you just be a nice person”. Naive, yes, but not hypocritical. I’m referring to when Melissa told Shauna that what she liked about her was that she “wasn’t afraid of her bad parts anymore”. Her saying that to Shauna did not mean she wanted her to be a bad person, or that she only liked her “bad parts”. It meant she liked her as a whole, including the bad parts. This was not her asking to be mistreated. In that moment, Melissa felt hurt, asking her girlfriend why she can’t be nice seems like a reasonable request one would make while being abused. This does not make her a hypocrite. It does make her quite naive to have expected Shauna to be nice, but Melissa being quite naive, especially when it comes to love, and her relationship to Shauna is a core aspect of her character, so nothing to be surprised of.

Now with that out of the way, let’s move on to the rest of the episode. Shauna is seen later alone in the hut she used to share with Melissa for months, looking at the empty spot in the bed where Melissa used to lie with her. This scene reminded me of when Shauna is seen sleeping alone in the first episode of season 2, lying next to the empty spot Jackie used to sleep in. It’s clear that part of Shauna regrets what happened with Melissa. The pleasure she got from humiliating her publicly was only ephemeral, and now she’s forced to face the consequences of her action and once again feel alone. This shows us that she did care for Melissa, but Shauna caring about someone never stopped her from hurting them. After all, she did hurt Jackie, the person she loved the most. And it’s not in Shauna’s nature to admit being wrong and apologize. So she is left to brood alone in her hut, missing the comfort she used to have when she shared it with Melissa, knowing that once again her action led her to lose someone she cared about. And this might be why we see Shauna later play with Hannah’s hair, as some sort of comfort, since this is like a “trophy” she got from hunting down Hannah. This helps her feel in control again and powerful, the only comfort she has left.

As for Melissa, it appears that she is done with Shauna and is fully on board with Team Rescue. She goes back to Gen’s hut, declaring “Fuck Shauna”. Since she had no hope of salvaging that relationship, all the hope she had left was getting rescued and getting away from Shauna. Unfortunately for them, their plan to escape was foiled by Shauna. I was surprised that Melissa didn’t go back to Shauna after this, thinking that perhaps without the hope for rescue, she’d go back to Shauna out of fear or for protection. But I think having a friend like Gen, who always had her back, helped her. It’s common for victims of abuse to go back to their abuser, but having a friend who was there for her probably helped Melissa not follow that pattern. At least, for this season.

The End? (season 3, episode 10)

Then we move on to episode 10. I admit, when I first saw the preview, I fully assumed that Shauna and Melissa would be back together. My reasoning at that time was that Melissa was wearing Shauna’s shirt (as well as her blanket?), while Shauna was seen still using the sheath Melissa had gifted her. But after seeing the episode I can see I was wrong with my assumption. It’s not uncommon for the characters to share clothes, and there can be many reasons why Melissa ended up with that shirt. I think this was more of a symbolic choice, since Shauna was wearing this shirt when she nearly killed Melissa, and Melissa also tries to kill Shauna while wearing that shirt. It might also be a power move from her, to wear the clothes Shauna had when she shot her. As for Shauna, the sheath was a gift and it’s reasonable for her to have kept it, given it’s useful to her. It might show she still has some attachment to Melissa, or perhaps some hope that they could go back together. She is seen gripping the strap, a visual representation of perhaps clinging to that hope. We don’t know exactly how much time passed between episodes 9 and 10, but it was long enough for Melissa to no longer need to wear a sling. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shauna kept thinking that Melissa would come back to her, both because she misses her and because she overestimated how much power she still had over her. That might be why she kept the sheath, in case Melissa would come back, or to show her she was still interested in getting back with her, since the sheath does represent their relationship. But of course, Shauna wouldn’t be the one to take the first step, and she certainly wouldn’t go to apologize, so it didn’t happen.

I have seen an interesting analysis of their clothes in a video, where their aesthetics were mirroring each other. As in, Melissa was dressed like Shauna, while Shauna’s aesthetic resembled Melissa’s. There is also the fact that Shauna decided to wear a hat mask, while Melissa is wearing the bunny mask Shauna wore in episode 7. Even their masks mirror each other. There is also an association with bunnies and Jackie, so both of them wearing that same mask is a way to show that their relationship is connected to Jackie. More about the mirroring later once I reach the adult timeline.

After their livestock died and Lottie mentioned how they needed to sacrifice something precious, it seemed like Shauna turned to look at Melissa, perhaps hesitating for a moment, until ultimately agreeing to the hunt. What Shauna didn’t know was that this was a scheme in order to kill her. I saw a lot of confusion online regarding that plan, so let me explain what went down. Nat, Van and Misty (and later Hannah) had their own separate plan to help Nat escape with the SAG phone so she could call for rescue. But they had nothing to do with orchestrating the hunt. This was actually Melissa, Mari, Gen and Akilah’s plan. They poisoned the livestock to push for a hunt, and killed Shauna during it. Some scenes explaining the plan in more detail were cut from the episode, but according to Gen’s actress (Vanessa Prasad), Melissa is the one who came up with the plan. This shows how much Melissa still resents Shauna for what she did to her, enough that she wants her dead. While Shauna was perhaps hoping Melissa would come back to her, the latter was planning her downfall. I think it’s possible that the other reason why Melissa suggested killing Shauna is out of guilt. After all, she did play a role in enabling Shauna and pushing her towards wanting power. Part of her might think that Shauna being their leader is her fault, as well as missing their chance for rescue. Not only is she angry at Shauna, she also feels guilty for how things turned out and this is her way to try to fix things.

Again, according to Vanessa, Melissa originally wanted to be the one to kill Shauna, but they chose Mari instead. They probably thought Melissa might still have some feelings for Shauna and wouldn’t be able to go through with it (and they were right). Mari does seem like the better. Unfortunately for them, she ended up pulling the Queen of Hearts card, so Melissa had to sub for her. Interestingly, there is a still for this episode that shows Melissa looking quite distressed during the draw. We don’t actually see this shot in the episode, but it’s possible that this is Melissa’s reaction to Mari pulling the card, since she knows she now will have to kill Shauna, and part of her knows she might not be able to do it. Despite Mari no longer being able to kill Shauna, they kept the plan going, with Gen making sure Shauna would be alone as she lured Taissa away.

Then Melissa successfully ambushed Shauna and started strangling her. Shauna didn’t know at first that it was Melissa who attacked her, so she fought back, and seemingly stopped struggling when she removed the mask and saw that it was Melissa. She did try to reason with her once the horn was blown, because it meant the hunt was over. But as Melissa said, it wasn’t over for her. She still had a mission to accomplish, and she was still angry at Shauna.

It seemed part of Shauna was accepting that fate. She was no longer fighting back. Perhaps part of her thought she deserved it, or that Melissa was in the right for wanting her dead. Shauna has been depressed for so long that part of her might be welcoming death, and dying by Melissa’s hand might have felt like a fitting death. After all, Shauna projects herself onto her, and Shauna is trying to emulate Jackie. Shauna considers that she killed Jackie, so Melissa killing her reinforces the dynamic she desperately wanted to recreate with her. According to Sophie, there’s also the fact Shauna reached such a low point that she thinks she has nothing to lose, she isn’t scared of death anymore. This is about the thrill of the game and taking things to the extreme, even if it results in her own death.

We progressively saw Melissa’s resolution fading as she strangled Shauna. At first, she looked angry and determined to go through with it, but her expression slowly changed to show shock and horror as she realized that she was about to kill Shauna. Shauna wasn’t even fighting back anymore and at this point in time, Melissa didn’t have what it takes to kill someone. Despite the resentment she had towards Shauna, deep down, she still had some feelings for her and didn’t want her to die. She knows why Shauna is the way she is, and feels guilty for enabling her bad parts. So part of her might think Shauna didn’t deserve to die because she considered herself just as guilty as her for the way she turned out. She might have thought Shauna not fighting back meant she wanted to die, and given the empathy Melissa always had for her, this reawakened the sympathy she once had for her. There’s also the fact that she must have realized that Mari was dead, and the guilt of knowing that it was her plan that led to her death.

According to Jenna, the way she interpreted it was about how Melissa was in a struggle for power. Her crush on Shauna might not have started because she was seeking power, once she got a taste of power by being with Shauna she took a liking for it and started encouraging Shauna to seek power. The actress said that in that moment, Melissa realized that she had the power to kill Shauna and it frightened her. It was too much for her. She did not want that kind of power. She was having so many different emotions at that moment and started feeling overwhelmed, so she couldn’t go through with it. At this moment, Melissa rejected her bad parts.

Shauna’s reaction to this attempted murder was interesting. I firmly believed that if anyone else had tried that with her, she would have struck back. But she did not attack Melissa afterward, even if she could. Instead, she told her “I knew you’d turn out to be boring”, a recall to their conversation in episode 3. This was a cruel remark to make to Melissa. Sophie’s opinion on this line was that Shauna wants people to feel as bad as she feels about herself, so anyone not being as cruel as she is upsets her. So Melissa not going through with killing her disappointed her. I also think part of Shauna might be annoyed that the only reason she is still alive is because Melissa decided to spare her life. There might be some projection too, given Shauna also failed to kill Melissa in the previous episode. Just like Melissa was dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions while she was attempting to kill her, so is Shauna after Melissa decided to spare her. Shauna leaves afterward, leaving Melissa to roll over, reeling from what she had almost done.

The last time we saw them interact in the teen timeline is when Shauna put on her Antler Queen outfit. Melissa is seen putting a lock of Mari’s hair on her costume. The show took the time to linger on Melissa’s face and her looking at Shauna at that moment. It’s unclear what the expression Melissa had on her face was, given she was wearing the bunny mask. Jenna was asked about what that look meant in an interview, and she said that it was a look of guilt. She felt guilty about Mari’s dying, but also because she feels responsible for Shauna turning out that way. She did want Shauna to become their leader before, she pushed her into that direction. But not like that. Not at that cost. So she felt guilty, because part of her knew she had a role to play in this. Jenna also said that the look was like she was kneeling to Shauna and telling her “you won”. She not only feels guilty, she feels defeated. Her plan to kill Shauna failed, and now she was forced to face the consequences of her actions, with not only failing to kill Shauna but playing a part in enabling her into becoming the Antler Queen.

As we know, both Shauna and Melissa survived into adulthood, their story as teenagers might not be over. We will have to see what season 4 has in store for them. I do believe their relationship isn’t over. For Shauna to still think Melissa might be in love with her 25 years later and for Melissa to send that tape to Shauna, I believe we haven’t seen the last of them. I wouldn’t say I expect them to get back together romantically, but I’m expecting something, especially if that ties in with the adult timeline. I expect something darker that would explain why adult Melissa feels significantly more twisted than teen Melissa. I’m definitely looking forward whatever season 4 will bring to their relationship.

Adult timeline

I know I already covered episodes 8 and 9 but I deliberately left out the adult timeline parts so I could talk about it as a whole after so I can keep things in chronological order. We are still missing a lot of context between the teen and adult timelines regarding Melissa, but we do know some details. First, she’s one of the official survivors. She felt like she wasn’t “one of them” after rescue, meaning she didn’t feel like she belonged with the other survivors. And, according to her, she was scared of Shauna. When asked why she faked her own death, those last two points are the reason she gave. That’s why I feel like there must have been something that happened between these two post-rescue, and Melissa got scared for her safety and didn’t feel like she could count on the others. Shauna going back with Jeff might also have contributed to her decision to fake her own death. Melissa also said “a lot's happened in the last 25 years” so I get the feeling she faked her death shortly after rescue. Then the rest of her life as “Kelly” is relatively unknown, other than she managed to track down Hannah’s daughter (Alex), stalked her for years until they officially met, fell in love, get married and had a child together. So far, this is probably the most messed up thing Melissa did.

Now, let’s take a look at what we saw in season 3. Adult Melissa actually had two cameos in episode 1, one where she is seen looking at Shauna with Taissa and Van at the restaurant after Nat’s funeral, then later at the end outside of Shauna’s house, leaving the tape in an envelop that Callie picked up. There was a note inside where Melissa revealed to Shauna that she is alive and apologized for letting her think she was dead, explaining what the tape was about and ask her to forgive herself. Unfortunately, the note fell when Callie opened the envelope so Shauna couldn’t have that explanation. There is also a scene in episode 2 that might have been Melissa. When Shauna was at the restaurant with Jeff and the Joels, there was a woman in the bathroom with her that left the phone with the ringtone “Queen of Heart” before closing the lights. Later, when Shauna called the restaurant, she had the confirmation that it was a woman who came back to pick up the phone, and Shauna asked for a physical description of her. We don’t hear if she got a description, but in the next episode, Shauna’s prime suspect for the phone prank was Misty. So I feel perhaps she was told the woman was blonde without much other details. More on that later.

Melissa is officially mentioned for the first time in the adult timeline in episode 7. It’s mentioned that her and Gen got close to Hannah when they are discussing who could have smuggled the tape back from the Wilderness, but also that they are both apparently death. Now, I’ll spare you with the crashout I felt when that scene happened, and with the preview for the next episode showing Hilary Swank with obvious blue contacts, I knew that Melissa had faked her death. To be fair, it was obvious since episode 2 that she would play adult Melissa, but I digress. When Van mentioned that Melissa is dead, it focused on Shauna’s expression. Before episode 8 aired, my assumption was that Shauna knew Melissa wasn’t dead, so they showed her react suspiciously when her apparent death was mentioned. But given Shauna didn’t seem to know Melissa was alive in episode 8, it was most likely just Shauna being surprised to hear her ex’s name after so long, ex that she thought was dead. Then stuff happened and Shauna ended up driving alone to Alex’s house, thinking she was the one who sent the tape.

Fast forward to episode 8, Shauna spent the night in her car outside Alex’s house. She sneaked inside in the morning and quickly had to hide in a pantry when Alex shows up. She is with her young daughter and is later joined by her wife “Kelly”, who is none other than Melissa, alive and well. There is a lot of symbolism in this scene. First, we have Shauna hiding in a “closet”, while watching her ex-girlfriend with her wife and child. A life perhaps part of Shauna could have desired when she was younger. But there is also the fact Shauna can represent the skeleton in Melissa’s closet, the thing she is hiding from her wife. About her true identity and what she did to her mother in the wilderness. Also, I must mentioned, when Hilary Swank showed up on my screen wearing the backward hat I literally screamed. It was one thing being convinced she’d be adult Melissa, actually seeing her (with the hat, no less) did something for my brain chemistry. Anyway.

After her wife and child left, Melissa spotted that there was someone hiding in her pantry and immediately went on the offensive, holding a knife and threatening her. She didn’t seem to know it was Shauna and wasn’t afraid of the potential home invader. She had experienced much worse in her life. Shauna seems frustrated, probably because she has fully processed what Melissa had done. She faked her own death and left her to believe she was dead all along, and was now married to the daughter of a woman they killed. So she came out from the pantry, also holding a knife, ready to confront her ex about that. I would like to point out it’s somewhat similar to their scene at the end of episode 2. Melissa was the one hiding while Shauna asked her to show herself while holding a knife. Here, it’s the opposite, with Shauna hiding and Melissa doing the threatening first.

First, I’d like to address Melissa claiming she didn’t love Shauna and never did. I touched upon that a little at the beginning but wanted to elaborate once I reached the adult timeline. I don’t think we can trust most of what adult Melissa claims, no matter how convincing she sounds. This isn’t the same girl we knew as a teenager, she has been living a lie for decades and is probably an excellent liar now. It doesn’t mean everything she said is a lie, but it should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s possible she is lying here to Shauna, perhaps because she is ashamed of herself for ever loving Shauna, or to get a raise out of her. She could also just be in denial that she was in love with her. As I mentioned earlier, Jenna’s take on that, that what you consider love as a 17 years old might be different than when you are 42. She does think that teen Melissa was (or at least, thought) she was in love with Shauna (going as far as to say she thought it was the love story of her life- and might be), but adult Melissa could no longer consider what she felt for Shauna was love. And both can be right, as the definition of love can be subjective. Teen Melissa viewed it as love, while adult Melissa might consider that it was an obsession, or as Jenna called it, limerence.

I think Shauna did feel betrayed by Melissa faking her own death, and that’d explain her more hostile behavior towards her. We don’t know the exact circumstances of Melissa fake suicide, but for Shauna, having another person she did care about die, especially if she feels like it was her fault, must have been awful. She already had so much guilt, and it might have pushed her further into wanting to “atone” by building a life with Jeff, a man she didn’t love and married out of guilt. So knowing that all this time not only Melissa was alive but also married to Alex must have felt like a gut punch. All that extra guilt was for nothing. And for Melissa to brag about how her life is supposedly wonderful and that she loves her wife and child just added insult to injury. Melissa is seemingly succeeding at what Shauna failed, to have a happy marriage with a spouse she loves and a kid she likes. So her frustration with Melissa is understandable, especially since she rightfully called out Melissa for living a lie. For how fucked up it is for her to be with Alex. To her, Melissa doesn’t get to have a happy life, because she didn’t. And because that happy life is built on a lie and at the expense of Shauna, who had to live with the guilt of thinking perhaps Melissa committed suicide because of her. And as she rightfully pointed out, even if Melissa did love Alex, Alex doesn’t know who she truly is. How can she truly be happy in a life where she can’t be herself? Shauna knows Melissa can’t actually be this happy, because she too, built a life around her guilt, and she is miserable.

That’s bringing me to my next point, why Melissa sent the tape to Shauna. According to her, it was so she could move on, and she thought the tape would allow Shauna to do the same. Shauna doesn’t believe her since she hasn’t seen the note. We do get to see the note in the next episode, which seems to imply Melissa was telling the truth, but I still have my doubts. I think part of Melissa was tired of living a lie. Tired of not being able to be herself. She missed her old self. I don’t think she disliked her wife and child, but deep down, she knew they wouldn’t love her if they knew who she truly was. And this is definitely a stressful way to live. Deep down, I think Melissa knew what she did was messed up, but she went so far that it didn’t seem like she could go back. She was married to Alex now, and they even had a child. She felt guilty for deceiving Alex, and didn’t think she deserved the “happy” life she built with her. The nightmares she mentioned are a manifestation of that guilt, and how tired she is of living that lie. She could have sent that tape to any of the survivors, someone she knew wouldn’t have reacted violently to it, but she chose the worst person to whom to send it: Shauna. Even in the show, you have Taissa pointing out how stupid it was, because there was no way that Shauna wouldn’t have try to track her down, even if she had read the note. Melissa wanted Shauna to come after her, because it would give her a convenient excuse to leave her current life behind. She was pushing the responsibility on Shauna to destroy her life instead of doing it herself. I also think that she was essentially leaving her fate in Shauna’s hands. If Shauna read that note and decided to not go after her, it would be as if she is “forgiven” for living that lie and allowed to be happy. If even Shauna decides to let it go, then perhaps she could, too. But as we saw, fate had other plans for Melissa.

A misunderstanding I have often seen online is that Melissa was actually doing better, and had put the past behind her. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Melissa isn’t doing “better”; she is just as traumatized and messed up as the other survivors. From marrying the daughter of a woman she contributed to killing after stalking her for years and sending an incriminating tape to Shauna of all people, it’s clear Melissa is neither doing better or had moved on from her past. Melissa might claim she has changed, going as far as to fake her own death and live under a new identity, she is still the same Melissa. Her still wearing a backward hat to me is a visual representation of that. It’s not uncommon for survivors to cling to an item linked to their trauma, and the hat could symbolize that. An interesting detail about the hat Melissa is wearing in the adult timeline is that it features a penguin. It might not be important, but penguins are known for mating for life, so it might have been there to symbolize that she never was over Shauna. 

I do think Melissa was lying about the phone. We do know that some of Shauna’s accusations towards Melissa were wrong. She didn’t kill Lottie, she didn’t cut her brake, she did not lock her in a freezer. We have an explanation now for all these incidents. But the phone one is still sketchy. I think Melissa lied about that because after getting accused of so many messed-up things she didn’t actually do, it wasn’t in her best interest to admit to that one. Shauna was already on edge and thinking she was out to kill her, so admitting to anything would have made things worst. Also, given how the scene where Shauna asked about the woman who picked up the phone was intertwined with the kiss in the teen timeline, I just cannot believe this wasn’t Melissa. The song “Queen of Hearts” being the ringtone is too much of a coincidence, especially when the lyrics describe their relationship perfectly. Melissa claiming it’s normal to have that as a ringtone is suspicious, as I don’t think it’d be that common. The light being closed right after is also suspicious, so I don’t think this was just a random person who happened to forget her phone, who happened to have a song that perfectly captures their relationship. This had to be deliberated. And as I mentioned earlier, Shauna might have been given a minimal description of the woman, only about the color of her hair, hence why she first accused Misty. A blonde woman left that phone there, and unless proven otherwise, I firmly believe it was Melissa.

Why would Melissa leave that phone? I think part of her was frustrated that Shauna didn’t do anything with the tape and the note she left her. She was expecting Shauna to come after her and she didn’t know that Shauna never got them. So she had to poke the bear. She didn’t like to be ignored by Shauna. She didn’t want to accept Shauna could just have moved on and decided to actually “forgive” her. She had to give a bit more incentive for Shauna to come after her, and she knew triggering her paranoia would do the trick. Melissa might have admitted to Shauna about the phone incident if it wasn’t for Shauna accusing her of trying to kill her and of having killed Lottie, because that was never Melissa’s intention. She had to deny leaving the phone. She underestimated Shauna once again and how far her paranoia would take her. She wanted Shauna to come after her, but she didn’t want Shauna to think she was trying to kill her. So it was easier to just deny all the accusations Shauna threw at her.

Shauna’s frustration reached a dangerous point when Melissa called her out. Telling her how she is lying about Callie loving her, about Shauna’s self-destructive nature, about how she is miserable and wants everyone to be as miserable as her. All of this was true, but it also felt like projections. Melissa is also being self-destructive, getting herself into a situation that she knows is wrong, by marrying Alex and setting herself up for a life where she cannot be truly happy. And what is more self-destructive than sending that tape to Shauna of all people? It’s very ironic for adult Melissa to project like that on Shauna, given that’s essentially what teen Shauna did to her. When Melissa tried to grab Shauna’s knife, the latter reacted quickly and dislocated her shoulder, and a short fight ensued, where they both got some good hits on the other. But unfortunately for Melissa, with one arm handicapped (might be a call back to the whole arrow situation), she is ultimately overpowered by Shauna, who decides to take a bite of her arm, and try to force her to eat it or else she’d tell the truth to her family.

I think Shauna did that because she desperately needed to take back control of the situation. Melissa had read her like a book, and this made Shauna feel vulnerable. She had to show Melissa she could still have power over her. And what better way to do so than biting her and forcing her to eat her own flesh. Cannibalism has always been part of their story, and it’s a way to assert dominance over her, similar to when Shauna ate Jackie’s ear.

This scene continues in episode 9, where Melissa lets Shauna put the piece of her own flesh in her mouth. Shauna smirked at that sight, demonstrating she was enjoying this. She always enjoyed having power over Melissa. The latter chewed on it slowly, possibly because she knew that and wanted Shauna distracted enough to plan her escape. She ended up not actually eating her flesh and spitting it on Shauna’s face. Shauna tried to grab her by the hair, ripping some of it, and it seemed to have distracted her for a few seconds. We do know Shauna seems to have a thing for hair- especially women’s. 

When Melissa managed to get in her car, Shauna asked her to open the door, almost as if she expected Melissa to actually listen to her. Perhaps an old habit of when Melissa used to be obedient to her. But of course, Melissa didn’t listen to her and drove away. She is seen smiling after all, showing that she did enjoy this. She missed that thrill. But unfortunately for her, her car was out of gas, and she ended up being captured by the remaining survivor and dragged back to her house.

Shauna looked relieved to see they brought Melissa back with them, then eager to tie her up. Shauna is still accusing Melissa of everything that happened to her lately, trying to convince the other survivors. This is when Misty admits she was behind the freezer incident and firmly believes Melissa is innocent, as she still thinks Shauna killed Lottie. She leaves the house, and they actually do end up tying up Melissa. Shauna and Melissa had an interesting back and forth where they tried to convince the others that they aren’t the problem or the craziest one among the two. Taissa and Van seemed to agree at first with Melissa when Adam was brought up, realizing that this was a similar situation, one where Shauna dragged them into her own mess. However, Shauna managed to push back the heat on Melissa by revealing she married Alex. It worked as Taissa and Van ultimately sided with Shauna. They discuss what they are going to do with Melissa, and it seems like both Taissa and Van think there aren’t many “options”, aka they will probably need to kill her. Interestingly, Shauna is the one who told them to wait and let her think, so it seems like Shauna didn’t want to kill Melissa. Part of her might still care about her.

Melissa ultimately manages to escape, killing Van in the process, showing that she wasn’t as innocent as she claimed. I think there are many reasons why Melissa killed Van, but this isn’t really the analysis for that. But if I have to tie it to shaunahat, I’d say perhaps Melissa has some trauma regarding not killing Shauna when she had the chance, because of what could have happened later. We know a lot of other characters in the teen timeline are going to die, and Melissa might feel responsible for those, thinking it could have been avoided if she had killed Shauna. So if put back in a situation where she has the chance to kill someone, especially when her life was at risk (Van did try to kill her first, and the group made it very clear it was their intention), she did it. There is also Shauna calling her “boring” over not killing her, so perhaps this was her twisted way to prove to Shauna she was wrong. Hopefully, this will be explored more in season 4. When Shauna comes back to the house, she keeps calling for Melissa, like she was hoping she’d not only still be there, but would listen to her. I think that reaction to Melissa’s disappearance was interesting and might indicate Shauna still cares for her.

Unfortunately, Melissa doesn’t appear in episode 10, but she is mentioned twice as Shauna’s ex-girlfriend, which Shauna did not deny. At least it does confirm that what they had in the wilderness was an actual relationship, they were dating, they were officially girlfriends. I’m mostly mentioning that because it was a point of contention at some point online. Shauna did find the note Melissa left her, and it’s after reading the part about “forgiving herself” that she snapped, destroying the letter while thinking about the people she had hurt (the bunny, Adam, Callie, and then Melissa) and started crying. While it’s not entirely about Melissa, it’s her words that triggered that reaction, and she was among the people she thought about while crying. I think it does speak about the impact Melissa had on Shauna, and still can. Then it’s what causes Shauna to start writing her “journals” again, starting to reconnect with who she used to be in the wilderness, the Antler Queen who was partially enabled by Melissa.

Something interesting in the adult timeline is that Melissa is written to be a mirror of Shauna. That’s what the writers for these episodes said. Just like Shauna, she married someone out of guilt, someone connected to a person she feels responsible for the death of. She is living a married life with a child in the suburbs, just like Shauna, and was given a minivan specifically to emphasize the resemblance. Both women are secretly miserable in their respective life, both missing the thrill they had as teenagers. They are both self-destructive and can’t move on from their past. Another point is that the writers mentioned that Melissa only “go bad” once she was forced to ate her own flesh, like it triggered something in her. Before that she was still clinging to her Kelly persona, trying to convince herself she had changed, but after that incident, like a sleeper agent, the real Melissa was back, finally shattering the facade she desperately clung to.

My expectation for season 4 regarding the adult timeline is for Shauna and Melissa to get back together in some way. I think this is what the show is hinting at. With Taissa and Misty seemingly teaming up to take down Shauna, we might see her team up with Melissa out of necessity, and that could lead them to rekindle their relationship. Melissa is possibly on the run after killing Van, even if the body wasn’t found. She can’t go back home, and Shauna is now alone in her house, so that seems like the perfect setup for Melissa to stay with her. We know Hilary Swank will be a series regular if the show is renewed, so I’m looking forward to what’s in store for adult shaunahat.

Conclusion

Now we have reached the conclusion for this analysis. I mentioned at the beginning that shaunahat as a couple was mutually toxic and I stand by it. Even if her intention wasn’t malicious, Melissa did enable the worst in Shauna, she validated her feelings and desire for power, both because she was infatuated with Shauna and desired to be with her, and for her own benefit. Shauna also had a negative impact on Melissa, I wouldn’t say she “corrupted” her, but she did awaken some darker tendencies in her. This wasn’t a relationship born out of mutual love, but due to the circumstances they were in and out of convenience. They both felt lonely and had nothing to lose, so this relationship was there to satisfy their personal desires. Melissa wanted love, she also used Shauna to feel safe. Shauna wanted control over someone and some form of comfort. It was a mutually beneficial relationship for two people stuck in the Wilderness with no hope of going home… until it wasn’t. I do think the arrow incident started the falling out of their relationship, but the potential for rescue is what sealed the deal. They no longer wanted the same thing, they no longer benefited from that relationship. Melissa still liked Shauna, and Shauna had come to care about her, but it wasn’t enough. That’s why I believe they might go back together in the adult timeline, because they are both at a point where they need each other. They are both in trouble and could benefit from one another. This is what their relationship is essentially built on, how they can use each other for their own benefit. And I don’t think they’d introduce that relationship in the teen timeline and have Melissa as a survivor if they didn’t want to explore more of it in the adult timeline.

As to why I made this analysis, I wanted to elaborate on this relationship since I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about it, give my own perspective on their scenes together, and maybe change some people’s views of them. I personally love this ship both because I love Melissa as a character, and because I like these kinds of dynamics. I can relate to toxic and abusive relationships because I personally experienced those, hence why I have a personal attachment to Melissa as a character. I did say that shaunahat were a toxic couple, but it was also abusive, on Shauna’s side. And I like how the show portrays that toxicity and abuse. Melissa is a victim of abuse, but she isn’t portrayed as a “perfect” victim who did nothing wrong. She is also a flawed person who did bad stuff, and put herself in a situation where she ended up being abused. It doesn’t mean she deserved that, as I mentioned before, but it’s refreshing to see, and it’s something I think a lot of people can relate to. And as for Shauna, despite being an abuser in that situation, she isn’t written to be evil. We know why she is that way, and we can still sympathize with her without justifying her actions. I also think Melissa, despite some people not liking her as a character, really contributed to the plot and helped drive it, both in teen and adult timelines. So far her role was mostly to further Shauna’s arc, and I do wish she would continue to do so while also having her own character arc in the next season. I think Jenna Burgess was fantastic in the role and I hope she will have her role expanded upon in the next season, especially since they plan to make Hilary Swank a series regular.

Phew, finally over. Over 20k words! This is definitely the longest analysis I have ever written. What can I say, I am very passionate about this relationship and hope to see more of them in season 4. Thank you all if you managed to reach the end, and please let me know your thoughts, I love to discuss both shaunahat and Melissa as a character with people!

[c3rt1f1ed-hat3r]

Melissa is not a Jackie replacement, sorry guys.

i’m honestly so tired of people saying melissa is just a Jackie replacement, like no, absolutely not. shauna and melissa’s dynamic is its own thing, and it works precisely because melissa is nothing like jackie.

people love to bring up that taivan joke about shauna making melissa wear jackie’s clothes or call her “shipman” but that’s literally just van and tai projecting, it’s not canon, it’s not real. we literally see shauna arguing with jackie in a dream sequence saying she hated being called shipman, so clearly, that conversation was just the girls speculating and joking.

same with the whole “jackieshauna is canon” thing. people keep pointing that one line from travis, where he talks about the slumber party make outs. he was tripping out on shrooms when he said that, he was literally hallucinating, thinking he was hearing "the wilderness" and it was just frogs having sex, and we’re supposed to take that as confirmation? be serious. not to mention how he was pissed at shauna because of the hunt and because of she said about javi. everything we actually see about jackieshauna is from other characters’ perspectives never from the characters themselves.

and then people say shauna doesn’t care about melissa?? be serious. if she didn’t care, melissa would be dead by the end of the season. she literally lets melissa choke her out and just… walks away from it. and when she throws that line “i knew you’d turned out to be boring” it’s projection. because she’s boring too. she couldn’t even kill her when she had the gun, that’s the whole point. they’re basically mirrors or twin flames if you prefer. you get moments like melissa hugging shauna from behind or making her smile, stuff no one else gets away with, and shauna lets it happen, because she does care.

So no, melissa isn’t jackie 2.0, she’s not a replacement, she’s a reflection of shauna, not jackie. Their dynamic is built on that contrast. While jackie tried to restrain shauna, melissa enabled her darkest impulses, which turned their bond into something volatile and destructive and that’s what made it so fascinating.

But i also think it does reaffirm jackieshauna, and that shauna at least had feelings towards jackie and the jeff thing was both an act of domination and love for jackie (i cant have her so ill have him kind of way).

[errriiie]

love jackieshauna but you speaking facts sm

[therealantlerqueen]

[errriiie]

heyy, do u write the adult timeline too? :33

hi!! unfortunately no i prefer to write for the teen timeline

[errriiie]

shaunahat smut but no crash please

done!!

[errriiie]

Hookup Culture

shaunahat x fem!reader minors DNI, all characters are 18 y.o

TW: smut, poly relationships, shauna shipman, one-night-stand culture (just might be not for everyone), OOC extra tags: NO CRASH AU, dom!switch!shauna, switch!melissa, switch!you, fem!reader, y/n mentions, porn with so-little-plot, sharing is caring, dirty talk, no aftercare but reader can handle it, oral (r!receiving), fingering (melissa! receiving), angst in the end if you squint, jackie stop haunting the narrative

word count: 3.5k proofread At the urging of your friend Lottie, you finally give in and show up to Randy's party. You think it's your destiny to be single for the evening and part of the night while you kill your time and social battery, but your desire to hang out around the house leads you to Shauna and Melissa, who were clearly busy with each other. Correction. Now they're busy with you, too.

The bass from the speakers downstairs rattles the floorboards as you weave through the packed house, red Solo cup in hand. The air smells like cheap beer, sweat, and the faint chemical burn of someone’s vape cloud. You weren’t even supposed to be here—you only came because Lottie dragged you, insisting you needed to "live a little" before graduation.

You don’t really do parties. Not like this. Not the kind where the Yellowjackets’ inner circle holds court in the living room, where Jackie Taylor’s laugh cuts through the noise like she’s still the queen of everything. You’re just… there. A background player. A benchwarmer who shows up to practice, nods at the right people, and mostly keeps to yourself.

But Melissa? Melissa’s different.

You’ve swapped a few words with her in the locker room, shared a smirk over Jackie’s dramatics once or twice. She’s got this way of looking at you like she knows things—like she’s waiting for you to catch up.

So when you see her slip upstairs alone, curiosity gets the better of you. She wasn't exactly a big deal on the team either, but at least Melissa seemed like a nice girl to you. Considering you didn't have much going for you other than your tenuous friendship with Lottie, you figured you couldn't pass up this slippery opportunity to build your social connections and maybe—maybe—really live a little.

The hallway is quieter, the music muffled. The door to Randy’s parents’ room is slightly ajar. Then you hear it. A soft gasp. A low, breathy laugh. You push it open without thinking.

 The door clicks open under your hand, and—

Oh.

The room is dim, just the glow of a salt lamp on the dresser casting warm light over the bed. Shauna’s on top of Melissa, one knee between her thighs, fingers tangled in her hair. Melissa’s shirt is pushed up, Shauna’s mouth on her collarbone, and neither of them heard the door.

Melissa sees you first.

Her head tilts, lips curling into a slow, unbothered smile. "Well, hey there."

Shauna freezes.

She turns, eyes wide, breath catching. Her lips are swollen, her cheeks flushed. For a second, she looks like she might bolt—but Melissa’s hand slides up her thigh, keeping her in place.

Shauna whips around so fast she nearly falls off the bed. Her face goes pale, then red, then pale again. "Oh my God—"

Melissa just laughs, dragging her back down by the collar of her shirt. "Relax, Shauna. It’s not like she’s gonna tell Jackie."

Her eyes flick to you.

"Right?"

You freeze in place, but your hand still feebly fumbles for the doorknob, just to close it. The click seems so loud in the awkward silence that you can't help but close your eyes. Besides, maybe closing your eyes will help you unsee it all. Unfortunately or fortunately (you haven't decided yet), it doesn't help.

Melissa is putting you in a really dangerous position, there's literally no reason for you to be here. You've never been close to Shauna because she always kept to herself with Jackie Taylor and didn't seem to need other people to talk to or be friends with, and you've already thought about Melissa enough.

You had a million reasons to leave: you didn't belong in this room or this house, you didn't like the loud party and the bunch of drunken teenage idiots wasting their lives on pointless parties, the way you were left almost alone, and to top it off, you didn't even know if Shauna wanted you here.

So you ask.

"I...are you serious? I mean, I won't tell anyone. Of course not," it sounds like the truth, because it is. You weren't really sure about Jackie's involvement in all of this. Was there a point where she wasn't chasing the narrative? "But..." you bite your lip shyly, like the kind of girl who needs help opening up. Shauna hasn’t moved. She’s still half-pressed against Melissa, her fingers gripping the bedsheets like she’s deciding whether to bolt or stay. Her eyes dart between you and the door, wide and uncertain, and for the first time, you realize how young she looks. Not the quiet, composed Shauna from practice, but someone caught between panic and something raw.

Melissa, on the other hand, looks amused. She props herself up on her elbows, letting her shirt fall and hide that tempting view of bare skin, her smirk lazy and deliberate. "‘But’ what?" she drawls, tilting her head. "You gonna stand there all night, or are you actually gonna say what you’re thinking?"

You swallow hard. The scent of vanilla and sweat lingers in your nose, mixing with the faint musk of Randy’s parents’ detergent. The bed creaks as Shauna shifts, her breath hitching when Melissa’s hand slides up her thigh again—possessive. "I just..." Your voice wavers. "I don’t know why I’m here." It’s the closest you’ll get to admitting the truth: that you followed Melissa because you’ve watched her for months, because you’ve imagined her looking at you like this, because you’re terrified of what it means that she’s letting you see this.

Shauna exhales sharply, like she’s been holding her breath. "You shouldn’t be," she mutters, but there’s no real heat in it.

"She’s already seen us. Might as well make it worth her while."

Your stomach twists. The implication hangs in the air, heavy and undeniable. 

Shauna’s jaw clenches. "Melissa—"

"What?" Melissa’s grin sharpens. "You don’t wanna share?"

The words hit you like a physical touch. Your face burns, your pulse thudding in your ears. This isn’t how you pictured your first time—if you ever pictured it—but the way Melissa’s looking at you, like she’s already won, makes something hot and reckless coil in your gut.

Shauna’s eyes flick to you again, searching. Then, slowly, she exhales. "...Just lock the door."

"Well, that's all settled." You can almost feel the relief in Melissa's voice. It might have been a little nerve wracking for her to remain cool and collected. "Come here." She beckons.

You obey immediately as your hand wraps around the lock, making sure you're in privacy. You take a few steps forward, but you're at the bed faster than you planned, looking so confused.

"What should I... what should I do?" It's so awkward.

Melissa’s smirk falters for just a second—just long enough for you to catch the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.  "You’re overthinking it," she says, but her voice isn’t as steady as before. She reaches out, fingers brushing your wrist, and tugs you closer. The bed dips under your weight as you settle beside them, close enough to feel the heat radiating off Shauna’s skin.

Shauna exhales sharply, her gaze flicking between you and Melissa. There’s something new in her expression—something hungry.

"You don’t have to do anything," she murmurs, her voice low. "Just let us take care of you."

Her hand finds your thigh, fingers pressing in just enough to make your breath catch.

Melissa watches, lips parted, and for the first time, she looks nervous.

"Yeah," she says, softer now. "Just... relax."

You don’t.

Instead, you lean in and kiss her.

Melissa makes a startled noise, but she doesn’t pull away. Shauna’s grip tightens on your thigh, and when you finally break apart, her eyes are dark. It's not easy watching literally two girls kissing beneath her, whose names she'd been quietly mumbling while masturbating in her room, and holding herself back from joining in too soon.

"Good," she breathes. "Now me."

Melissa’s breath hitches when you turn to Shauna, your fingers tangling in the fabric of her shirt to pull her closer. The kiss is different this time—slower, more deliberate, like Shauna’s testing the waters, seeing how far you’ll let her take this. Her lips are warm, her tongue brushing against yours in a way that makes your stomach twist.

"That’s it," she murmurs against your mouth, her hand sliding up your side. "Just like that."

Melissa watches, her earlier bravado slipping as she bites her lip. "Fuck," she breathes, shifting closer, her knee pressing against your thigh.

Shauna pulls back just enough to smirk at her. "Jealous?"

Melissa rolls her eyes, but the flush creeping up her neck gives her away. "Shut up."

Shauna laughs—low, throaty—before turning back to you. "Guess we’ll have to fix that."

Her fingers trace your jaw, tilting your face toward Melissa. "Go on," she says, voice rough. "Show her how it’s done."

Melissa’s breath is warm against your lips as you lean in again, this time with more confidence. Her hands find your waist, pulling you flush against her, and the way she melts into the kiss betrays how much she’s been wanting this. There’s a soft, needy sound in the back of her throat when you nip at her lower lip, and Shauna’s fingers tighten possessively on your hip.

"Look at you," Shauna murmurs, her voice thick with approval. Her other hand slides up Melissa’s thigh, unbuttoning Melissa's jeans with unnecessary force and pulling them down to her knees, and Melissa shivers. "Both of you— so pretty like this."

You can feel the shift in the air—the moment Melissa’s control cracks. Her fingers dig into your sides as Shauna’s touch grows bolder, and when you break the kiss to trail your mouth along her jaw, she lets out a shaky exhale. "God—okay, yeah, that’s—"

Shauna cuts her off with a sharp bite to her shoulder, and Melissa’s back arches off the bed. "Quit talking," Shauna orders, her voice dropping into something darker. Her eyes lock onto yours, and there’s no mistaking the challenge in them. "Unless you’d rather watch?" You suppress a smirk and the feeling of wetness pooling between your legs. You thought Melissa was in charge here, but apparently she's in charge until Shauna decides she needs to end this.

Melissa whines, but it’s half-hearted, her hips already rolling up into Shauna’s touch. You don’t give her the chance to answer.

Your hand slides between them, fingers brushing over the damp fabric of Melissa’s panties, and her whole body jerks. "Fuck—"

A sharp gasp escapes Melissa’s lips as your fingers press against her, the thin fabric of her panties doing little to hide how wet she is. Her hips jerk forward, seeking more contact, and you can feel the heat radiating from her even through the fabric.

Shauna watches with dark, hungry eyes, her fingers tightening in your hair as she pulls you closer. “That’s it,” she murmurs, her breath hot against your ear. “Make her feel good.”

Melissa’s hands scramble for purchase on the sheets, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps as you tease her through the fabric. “Fuck—just—just take them off already,” she whines, her voice trembling with need.

Shauna chuckles, low and dark, her fingers tracing patterns along your spine. “You heard her,” she says, her voice thick with amusement. “Don’t keep her waiting.”

Your fingers hook into the waistband of Melissa’s panties, pulling them down just enough to expose her to the cool air of the room. She shivers, her thighs tensing as you finally, finally touch her properly, your fingers sliding through her slick folds.

“Oh my god,” she breathes, her back arching off the bed as you circle her clit, slow and teasing. “Fuck, yes, just like that—”

Shauna’s hand tightens in your hair, her lips brushing against your neck. “Good girl,” she murmurs, her voice rough with approval. “Now make her come.”

You nod your head quickly. For some reason, you don't really want to disappoint Shauna. You see her eyes, which you can't read, and for some reason, more than anything, you're afraid that she'll regret ever allowing Melissa the liberty of voicing that your presence wouldn't hurt them.

You speed up the movements of your fingers, feeling and lingering on the spot that amplifies Melissa's body twitching a hundredfold, her wiggling under Shauna's body and next to you, the moans and sighs coming from her throat. You're a man of few words (for various reasons), but you have the courage to say, "Cum for us, Melissa." It sounds like a gentle request, in contrast to Shauna now. Melissa’s breath hitches at your words, her hips stuttering against your hand. There’s something almost vulnerable in the way she looks at you—like she wasn’t expecting the softness in your voice, like it unravels her more than any command ever could.

Shauna notices.

Her grip on your hair tightens, her lips brushing the shell of your ear. "Look at her," she murmurs, voice rough. "She’s falling apart just because you asked nicely."

Melissa whines, her thighs trembling as you curl your fingers inside her, your thumb pressing firm circles against her clit. "Shut—ah—shut up," she gasps, but there’s no bite to it, just raw, unfiltered want.

Shauna laughs low, her free hand sliding down to pinch Melissa’s nipple through her bra. "Make me."

Melissa’s back arches off the bed, a broken moan tearing from her throat as her orgasm crashes over her. Her fingers scramble for your wrist, holding you there as she rides it out, her body pulsing around your fingers.

For a moment, the only sound in the room is Melissa’s ragged breathing.

Then Shauna’s pulling you back by your hair, her lips crashing against yours in a kiss that’s all teeth and hunger. "Fuck," she breathes against your mouth. "You’re good at that."

Melissa lets out a weak laugh, still sprawled bonelessly across the bed. "No shit," she mumbles, dragging a hand over her face.

Shauna’s gaze flicks down to where your fingers are still slick with Melissa, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. "Now," she says, voice dropping to a whisper, "what do you want?"

Melissa props herself up on her elbows, her smirk lazy but her eyes interested. "Yeah," she echoes, voice still breathless. "What do you want?"

It seems like it really is your turn. But... you don't even know what you want. "I don't know," you say, perhaps feeling a little more emboldened and comfortable with the situation, "I'm a virgin. Any ideas?" Oh, it sounds like they're trying to decide on a topic for a school project. Stupid and awkward. Shauna freezes.

For a second, the room is utterly still—the only sound is the muffled bass of the party downstairs, the distant laughter of people who have no idea what’s happening up here. Then Melissa lets out a soft, disbelieving laugh, propping herself up on her elbows. "Wait. Seriously?"

You nod, your face burning. It’s not like you meant to drop that bombshell so casually, but now that it’s out there, you can’t take it back. Shauna’s grip on your hair loosens, her fingers instead tracing a slow, thoughtful path down the back of your neck.

"Huh," she says, voice unreadable.

Melissa’s smirk returns, but it’s softer now—less teasing, more curious. "Well, shit," she murmurs, sitting up fully. "Guess we’ve got some options, then."

Shauna exhales sharply, her thumb brushing over your pulse point. You can feel her thinking, weighing something in her mind. When she speaks again, her voice is lower, rougher. "You trust us?"

The question catches you off guard. You’ve never been close to either of them, not really—but right now, with Shauna’s dark eyes locked onto yours and Melissa’s fingers idly tracing patterns on your knee, it’s hard to imagine saying no.

"Yeah," you admit. "I do."

Shauna’s lips quirk, just slightly. "Good."

Melissa leans in, her breath warm against your ear. "Then let’s start simple," she murmurs. "How about you let Shauna kiss you again—properly this time—while I show you what my mouth can do?"

Your stomach flips. Shauna doesn’t wait for you to respond. She captures your lips in a kiss that’s slower than before, deeper, her tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes your toes curl. Meanwhile, Melissa’s hands are already pushing your thighs apart, her nails dragging lightly over your skin as she settles between them.

"Relax," Shauna murmurs against your mouth, her fingers tightening in your hair. "Just feel it."

Then Melissa’s tongue drags over you, slow and deliberate, and your back arches off the bed with a gasp.

"Fuck—"

Melissa hums, the vibration sending a jolt straight to your core. "Yeah," she says, pulling back just enough to smirk up at you. "That’s the idea."

It’s too much—the heat of Melissa’s mouth, the way Shauna’s thumb brushes over your cheek like you’re something precious, the dizzying realization that this is happening, that they’re choosing this, choosing you—

You whimper, your fingers tangling in the sheets.

Melissa’s tongue flicks over your clit, once, twice, and then she’s sucking lightly, her fingers pressing inside you in a slow, steady rhythm. Shauna’s kiss turns bruising, her teeth nipping at your lower lip as if to say, "I’ve got you."

You come with a choked-off moan, your thighs trembling around Melissa’s head.

Shauna pulls back just enough to watch you, her eyes dark with something you can’t name. "There you go," she murmurs, her voice impossibly soft. "Just like that."

Melissa sits up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, her smirk smug but her eyes warm. "Not bad for your first time, huh?"

You’re too breathless to answer.

Shauna’s thumb brushes over your bottom lip, her gaze flicking between you and Melissa. "Still don’t know what you want?" she asks, her voice teasing.

You swallow hard.

"I think," you manage, "I’m starting to figure it out."

Melissa laughs, low and throaty, as she wipes her chin with the back of her hand. "Oh, you think?" She leans in, her breath warm against your ear. "Because from where I'm sitting, you looked pretty damn sure a second ago."

Shauna's fingers trail down your side, possessive yet strangely gentle. "We can stop here if you want," she murmurs, though the way her teeth graze your shoulder betrays how much she doesn't want to stop. "Or..." Her hand slips between your thighs again, fingertips brushing over oversensitive skin.

You jolt, a whimper catching in your throat. Melissa's watching with heavy-lidded eyes, her own fingers toying with the hem of Shauna's shirt.

"Or," Melissa continues where Shauna left off, "we could see how many times we can make you come before someone downstairs wonders where we went."

The challenge in her voice makes your stomach flip. Shauna's fingers press harder, circling in a way that has your hips jerking forward before you can stop yourself.

"Guess that answers that," Shauna says, her smirk audible. The bed creaks as Melissa moves closer, her knee nudging yours apart wider. ————

When you finish, there's no time for aftercare. The three of you frantically adjust your clothes, comb your hair in the mirror, and try to pretend nothing happened.

"Still..." you suddenly ask, deciding that you look pretty good, except for the huge hickey on your neck, but in the dim light of the house it won't be noticeable, "What's the story with Jackie?" oh, your nosy ass. The air in the room goes stiff. Shauna’s hands freeze mid-motion where she’s fixing the collar of her shirt, her expression shuttering instantly. Melissa, halfway through smoothing down her jeans, lets out a sharp exhale through her nose—not quite a laugh, not quite a sigh.

"Jesus," Melissa mutters, shooting you a look that’s half-amused, half are you fucking serious right now?

Shauna’s jaw works silently for a second before she finally speaks, her voice carefully neutral. "What about her?"

You can feel it—the way the energy in the room shifts from sated and lazy to something sharper, more volatile. Shauna’s fingers tap once, twice against her thigh, a nervous habit she’s never been able to fully hide. Melissa, ever the deflector, rolls her eyes and fluffs her hair in the mirror.

"Look," she says, her tone light but edged with warning, "Jackie’s Jackie. She doesn’t need to know shit."

Shauna’s gaze flicks to the door, like she’s half-expecting Jackie to burst in any second. "It’s not—it’s not a thing," she says, but the way her voice cracks on the last word betrays her. "We’re just... having fun."

Melissa snorts. "Yeah. Fun." She meets your eyes in the mirror, her smirk not quite reaching them. "Don’t worry about it. Shauna’s got it handled."

The way she says it makes it clear that handled is a generous term.

You open your mouth—to push, to apologize, you’re not even sure—but Shauna cuts you off with a sharp shake of her head.

"Drop it," she says, and for the first time tonight, there’s no warmth in her voice. Just quiet, simmering dread. "Please."

Melissa sighs, straightening her top with a final tug. "Party’s still going. We should get back before people notice we’re gone." She pauses, then adds, quieter, "And maybe don’t stare at Jackie like you just fucked her best friend. Just a tip."

Shauna shoots her a glare, but there’s no real heat behind it. Just exhaustion.

The hallway feels too bright after the dim warmth of the bedroom, the music suddenly too loud. You follow them downstairs, your mind racing.

Jackie’s in the living room, holding court as usual, her laugh ringing out over the crowd. She doesn’t look your way.

Shauna’s shoulders tense as she steps into the light, her smile slipping into place like a mask. Melissa tosses her hair and saunters toward the kitchen like nothing’s wrong.

You hover awkwardly in the doorway, the hickey on your neck burning.

Yeah, you think, maybe don’t stare.

[errriiie]

requests! requests! requests!

hi i'm BACK!! and i'm ready to write you something 18+ (that's my specialty if you're not new to my blog) smut NSFW as you wish. and i accept requests!

i prefer to write for lottie/shauna but you can basically ask for any female character. any scenario, any thoughts, tfem!versions included. please don't be shy. i'm here to make your wishes come true !!!!! :))

[errriiie]

Right now you're mine

shauna shipman x fem!reader minors DNI, all characters are 18 y.o

TW: smut, shauna shipman, jealousy, co-dependent relationships (?), dubcon extra tags: fem!reader, y/n mentions, porn with so-little-plot, jealous sex, degrading, possessiveness, fingering (r! receiving), dark themes, knife play word count: 3k not proofread english is not writer's first language!

Shadows dancing on the sheets If you obey I might give you a treat. There's something weird about you with Shauna. She's kind to you, then mean, but you never talk about it. She gives you mixed signals every damn day, and you're not quite sure what to make of it. You've been hanging out with Lottie lately because you thought it was okay. Shauna didn't like it. She made that clear. And she just wanted to wipe your nose and wipe the smug smirk off your face the way she knew how to do it best. (Also, you're a little like Mari here)

Your team won the treasure hunt. You were good at running - it was something natural, something that couldn't be taken away. You and the other girls were jumping up and down in a big happy ball, hooting happily, knowing that all day long you would finally be able to rest for at least a day from all this work for the good of your little camp. You tried not to bother anyone, although when Mari or Gen teased one of the losers once again, you did not try to hold back your smile. You finally felt some semblance of dominance, having fun with your friends and also letting off some arrogant comments. You knew that Shauna lost to you, being on the opposite team. Really, you did. But you tried to ignore her unreadable glances, from which her frown and disfavor towards you were given away only by her eyebrows, drawn together to the point of transference, when she snorted and whispered something in the ear of Melissa, who had so inopportunely formed around her.

It pricked your heart, but you couldn’t quite say why. There had never been anything formal or complete between you and Shauna one way or another. There had been some strange looks, awkward touches, but nothing serious, especially since the end of this winter, when the cabin had burned down. Shauna scared the shit out of you, but you couldn't bring it up. There was just something unnerving about her all-encompassing hatred and the way she separated herself from everyone. From you included. Well, it wasn't like you were friends or anything more. You dressed in the rags that Lottie, with whom you had grown a little closer in the last couple of weeks, called "sacred and appropriate" and proudly sat at a chair with the others. You were having a feast, followed by a ritual for those who had died in the winter. You shared grins with your team, cheerfully tapping your fingers on the table, unaware that Shauna was the one bringing you your food. You felt her presence twenty centimeters from your body as she came close. Everyone was busy with each other. In her hands was a deep bowl with something obviously tasty, and even if not, in your circumstances, you had no choice. You looked into her eyes - she looked into yours and, spat, sent a wad of saliva straight into your stew.

"Bon appetit." She placed it in front of you. You did not understand what had just happened. Your eyes widened while Shauna did not even think to move from her place. Then the realization of the disgusting gesture came. The desire to fight for justice followed.

"What the fuck, Shauna? Why did you just spit in my food?" you didn't expect your voice, fueled by the feeling of offense, to become loud enough for others to hear.

"Me? No. I'm not." The look she gave you sent shivers down your spine. She sounded like it was the most natural response, and it almost made you feel like you were the crazy one here.

"Fuck, Shauna, did you spit in her food? Seriously?" Natalie's tired and genuinely confused voice came from your side as she stood up. For some reason, you stood up too.

"No, and the mere suggestion offends me." she replied. Oh, you just got angrier. Apparently no one believed her. But Shauna didn't look like she needed it at all. "You should eat, y/n. I worked hard on this food."

You weren't going to swallow that. Not with so many curious eyes on you and Shauna. You grabbed the cup and pointedly, with one swift movement of your hand, dumped the entire contents on the ground. Shauna was furious because she clearly expected there to be no fight. She thought she knew you well. She thought you would bend to her will. The lack of the desired reaction was like the safety catch being released. Shauna leaned forward, grabbed your hair, tangling her strong fingers in the tangled mass and literally bent you over, smashing your cheek into what was left of the spilled stew. Not the smartest way to dispose of food. "I told you to eat, bitch!" she screams, letting you whine in humiliation and the efforts you make in vain to get out before the girls pull you apart. "Okay, I've had enough!" Natalie is pissed, and she's the queen, she's the leader of your little group, and you look completely confused as you try to wipe the dirt and stew off your face. "Both of you. House arrest. And no arguments. Don't ruin our evening with your bullshit." But you're hurt. You're literally the victim, you've done nothing to Shauna fucking Shipman, and you've definitely never wished her any harm, so why the fuck did she humiliate you in front of everyone and make you look so pathetic? You wrenched yourself free of the girl who was holding you and screamed furiously. "Fuck you all, this is bullshit!" you turned on your heels, trying to pick up the remains of your battered, pathetic pride and walked in the direction your tear-stained eyes were looking. Your back was literally catching sympathetic glances, especially Lottie's, and this only made you look smaller in this whole situation.

You clung to a tree, staring at the green crown of the spruce above your head. Damn Nat, who decided to punish you too. Damn everyone who decided not to intervene in time. Damn Shauna, who... the crunch of branches made you shudder and look around. You turned around, seeing a familiar figure in ordinary clothes. Dirty flannel, jeans stained with what looked like old blood, a knife... a knife? You look scared now. You stares at Shauna, takes a warning step back. "Whatever you're going to do to me, don't you fucking dare. Everyone will know." Your voice is menacing, and your eyes are watching the knife a dozen times more than they are watching Shauna's expression and intentions. "What the fuck have I ever done to you, Shipman? I didn't harm you in any way!" you try to defend yourself. Shauna's knife hand twitches at the word harm, moonlight catching the blade's serrated edge as she takes three slow steps forward. Her flannel clings to sweat-damp shoulders, that same earthy musk from pinning your face into the dirt still clinging to her knuckles.

"Done to me?" A bark of laughter scrapes her throat raw. She taps the knife's flat side against the pale line bisecting her left eyebrow—the scar from when you "accidentally" elbowed her during that stupid lake ice fight last winter. "You breathe. That's what you do."

The blade drifts lower, cold steel brushing the hollow of your throat. Shauna's other hand snakes out to fist in that infuriatingly soft shirt, yanking you close enough to smell the forest rot clinging to your hair. Her breath hitches—just once—when your noses almost touch.

Fourteen days ago. Midnight watch shift. Your laugh carrying from the tree line, leaning into Lottie's shoulder like you hadn't spent last Thursday letting Shauna braid wolfsbane into your hair.

"You wanna know what I'm gonna do?" Shauna murmurs, thumb swiping through the mud still smeared on your cheekbone. You presses yourself against the damn pine tree—or fir, it doesn't matter. You look wary, scared, and you trying to control your breathing so as not to show your fear to Shauna. Your head shoots up almost instinctively because you want to press youself against the tree trunk, just so Shauna doesn't slit your throat. "I... I actually hope you don't do anything," you says uncertainly, not knowing on what you supposed to be looking at: Shauna’s knife or Shauna’s face. "You know it'll cost you dearly if you kill me." The blade trembles—just enough to nick skin—as Shauna's mouth twists into something bitter and hungry. Pine resin sticks to your back, sharp and medicinal, mingling with the iron tang blooming at your throat.

"Cost me?" Shauna drags the knife downward, popping the first button of your shirt with surgical precision. "You think Nat gives a shit if I skin you like a rabbit?" You winces as a thin, shallow cut, small but bleeding, blooms across your throat. You can't even see it, and fear overwhelms you. You always thought this would be a rush of adrenaline, but your body just doesn't move as you mercilessly endures Shauna apparently undressing you.

"You're fucked if you kill me, I mean it," you voice is more of a tremor and a terrified bleat than anything else. The cougar bares its teeth even when cornered by a bear. "You know it's true, don't play with me."

Shauna's knife hand goes still when your breath hitches. The second button parts with a snick of steel through thread, exposing a sliver of collarbone that glows blue-white in the moonlight. Her free hand digs into your hip hard enough to bruise, pinning you against sticky bark.

"Cost," she repeats, dragging the blade lower to trace the curve of a breast through thin cotton. "You still think we're debating philosophy in the Literature class? That Becky MacCoy is gonna tattle to mr. Devis?"

The knife tip finds the third button. "They'll thank me." Cold metal slips between fabric folds, grazing nipple. "Burn your clothes for kindling. Use your bones for broth." Her knee jams between your  thighs, pressing up hard. "But you?" The blade retreats, comes to rest against your lower lip. "You'll just be... inconvenient."

You whimpers as Shauna's knee presses so nastily—and so good—on your clit. Fuck, you doesn't even know what's happening. Your mind is all mixed up with the holy and the sinful, and you doesn't understand who Shauna is to you, or if you going to die today. Or if you going to cum, either.

"W-why are you saying all this? Why are you doing all this?" you asks, looking worriedly at the knife on your bottom lip, but you has to admit, you looking into Shauna's dark eyes more often. "I don't even... hate you. Why the hell are you doing this to me, you fucking sadist?"

Shauna's thumb presses the blade flat against your tongue, metallic bitterness flooding both their mouths. Her knee grinds harder, friction burning through denim as she leans in until their foreheads touch. Sweat-damp strands of hair cling to your temple—you smells like fear and elderberries, Shauna notes with vicious satisfaction.

"Sadist?" She twists the knife handle, making light catch the saliva-slick steel. "You begged for this when you let Lottie braid those fucking daisies in your hair last week." The accusation comes out hoarse, unexpected. Her free hand snakes under your shirt, nails biting into soft belly flesh.

That afternoon by the creek. Your head in Lottie's lap, flower crowns and shared jerky. Shauna gutting rabbits twenty feet away, blood dripping hotter with each peal of laughter.

The knife withdraws. Shauna licks a stripe up the column of your throat, tasting copper and pine sap. "You want reasons?" Her teeth close around an earlobe, biting just shy of breaking skin. "I'm the butcher. You're the meat." You lets out a low moan in Shauna's ear, because it's hard not to. But your head is a storm, and you itching to defend yourself. You've always been quite the fighter. Maybe that's why Shauna wanted to break you so much. "I will be the last one to be meat. I'm the meat if I ever draw the queen card. But right now, I'm not meat at all," you mutters in Shauna's ear.

"You want to know why I was hitting on Lottie a week ago? Why I had daisies and wolfberry and sea buckthorn leaves in my hair? Because I wanted to fucking suck up to Lottie a little. I don't need her at all, if you're wondering." you speak with surprising clarity, as if there's no lie in your words. "Are you jealous of me, Shipman? Or are you jealous of her? I think if you were jealous of her, I'd be a fucking corpse right now."

Shauna's blade slips between the fourth and fifth buttons, parting fabric with a sound like cracking ice. The knife tip traces the valley between your breasts—too sharp, too precise to draw blood unless she wants to. Her other hand fists in your hair, yanking your head back against the tree.

"You think I care about your pathetic games?" The blade dips lower, slicing through waistband elastic. Cold night air hits bare skin as denim pools around your ankles. Shauna's palm slams against the tree beside your head, forearm flexing as she crowds into your space. "Jealousy's for people who don't know how to take what's theirs."

Her teeth find the juncture of neck and shoulder, biting down hard enough to bloom a bruise. You twitch in pain, but to Shauna's satisfaction, you have nothing to counteract. The knife clatters to the forest floor as Shauna's hand replaces it between your thighs, fingers pressing ruthless circles through damp cotton panties. "You don't get to be meat," she breathes against the fresh bite, "until I say you're meat."

It's too much for you. You twitches, and damn Shauna for being so fucking strong compared to you. Even in the past, you had always been known for your speed and tact, but not for your strength, which Shauna had in abundance.

You moans, softly and loudly, haltingly, trying to say something but unable to start a new sentence. You whine, and feels your teeth wound ache. You see the blood from the bite mark on Shauna's lips and leans forward, kissing them and biting her bottom lip before Shipman can say anything. You didn't understand what you were doing, but you really wanted to save your life. You already understood that Shauna had no intention of killing you. Yet. Fucking you was probably more interesting. You had fantasized about it a couple of times when you had to press yourself closer to Shauna's body in the winter because you had no choice and had to endure this forced closeness. You didn't remember when exactly you started liking it. Shauna freezes when your teeth catch her lip—a split-second of stillness where the forest holds its breath. Then her hand flies to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in sweat-damp hair to crush their mouths together properly. The taste of her own blood blooms between them, metallic and primal, as she licks into your mouth with the same ruthlessness she uses to field-dress deer. The kiss tastes like violence.

Her free hand rips the remaining buttons off your shirt, nails raking down pale ribs. The abandoned knife lies forgotten between pine needles as Shauna shoves her knee higher, denim seam grinding against soaked underwear. "Still think you're not meat?" she growls against swollen lips, biting the question into your jaw. Her thumb finds the hollow beneath your ear—that spot she'd mapped weeks ago during forced proximity—and presses hard enough to make your eyes roll back.

You moans hoarsely, your hips jerking against Shauna's knee between your legs. You need more, you want more, and you both so turned on right now. "Sh-shut up..." you moans, your cheek pressed against Shauna's for a second before your hands slide under Shauna's flannel and t-shirt, your nails raking painful lines down her back. You're such a fucking mess. Both of you. "P-please, do something. Give me your fingers back." You almost begs, biting you own bottom lip. Her knee isn't enough.

Shauna's laugh comes out ragged, more breath than sound, as she drags her bloodied lip across your cheekbone. "Begging already?" Her teeth catch the shell of your ear, biting down just hard enough to make you gasp. The hand at your neck slides much lower, calloused fingers hooking into the waistband of those ruined panties.

With a sharp tug, Shauna tears the cotton aside. Her middle finger slides through slick heat in one brutal thrust, curling upward on the retreat. "This what you wanted?" she rasps, palm slapping against clit with each punishing stroke. Her other hand clamps over your mouth, muffling the sounds she'd die before admitting she's memorized. "Or you need me to carve the answer out of you?"

The forest floor swallows yours mingled breaths—pine needles crunching under shifting weight, distant owl cries drowned out by the wet slap of skin. Shauna presses her forehead to yours, brown eyes gone feral in the moonlight. "You'll take what I give," she growls, adding a second finger that stretches tight muscle, "and fucking thank me for it." You look at Shauna blurrily, your eyes unable to find focus, so bright and blue usually, so enchantingly deep now, looking so faded with sexual arousal. You moans in mild pain - it's been a long time since anyone has stretched you from the inside, and you feel sick from the unfamiliarity. That nice, fucking good feeling down there becomes clearer as you whispers. "I'm going to c-cum," you doesn't know why you warning Shauna about this, leaning almost all your entire body on her. One of your hands falls from Shauna's neck and lazily tries to pull Shauna's jeans down, but they won't budge. Of course. They're fucking buttoned. Shauna catches your wandering hand mid-hip, slamming it back against the tree with enough force to dislodge bark. "You don't touch," she snarls, the knife suddenly reappearing in her periphery—plucked from the forest floor and pressed sideways against your heaving stomach. Her fingers never stop moving inside you, the heel of her palm grinding relentless circles as sweat drips from her jaw onto exposed collarbones. "Think I'd let you sully these?" Shauna jerks her hips forward, denim-clad thigh rubbing against your bare one. The blade traces lazy patterns over damp skin without breaking it—this time. "These hands skin bears. Butcher does the taking."

Her thrusts turn jagged, knuckles whitening with the effort of keeping you pinned. The knife falls again, forgotten as Shauna's teeth find purchase on a peaked nipple through torn fabric. "Cum then," she demands against salt-damp skin, voice cracking like dry kindling. "Prove you're more than Lottie's fucking lapdog. More than just another dumb bitch who's content with her measly victory."

Moonlight catches the wild glint in brown eyes as Shauna watches—always watching—the exact moment your body betrays you. Her free hand digs into the soft flesh of your thigh, blunt nails leaving crescent promises that'll outlast dawn. You shudders, whimpers, and as if on cue, cums all over Shauna's fingers with a soft moan. Your head snaps back and hits the tree trunk. You hisses in pain, but it doesn't matter as you recovers from the intense orgasm. You doesn't even look at Shauna, simply because you afraid to look her in the eye after that.

"Was that all necessary?" you mutters, but not with aggression or irritation. It sounds like a strange question. Shauna withdraws her fingers slowly, deliberately, watching yours body twitch with oversensitivity. She brings glistening digits to her mouth, tongue swiping through the mess with a predator's grin. "Necessary?" The word drips with mockery as she steps back, adjusting her flannel with hands that don't quite steady.

She stoops to retrieve her blade, thumb wiping pine resin off the hilt. The night air bites at sweat-slick skin as she turns toward the tree line, shoulders rigid. "Don't flatter yourself." The words hang between them like a noose. "Just needed to shut you up before the coyotes came."

Her retreating footsteps crunch through underbrush, leaving you half-dressed against the pine. Dawn's first light catches the blood drying on Shauna's collar—proof of teeth marks she'll spend tomorrow's watch shift tracing with her tongue. She leaves you alone. Confused and half-naked. You awkwardly pull up your wet underwear, dress as best you can - your clothes aren't in the best condition, and you knew it was unwise to lose them like that. You came, but was it worth it?

You swallow your resentment as you slip into your hut. You just want to sleep.

[errriiie]

Let me see ya move

jackieshauna x fem!reader minors DNI, all characters are 18 y.o

TW: smut, poly relationships, shauna shipman, jealousy, OOC extra tags: fem!reader, y/n mentions, porn with so-little-plot, jealous sex, sharing is caring, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! giving), spanking, degrading (not much but still), praising, dirty talk, rough all the way until the end, sweet in the end :з word count: 3.5k proofread english is not writer's first language! You had been in a relationship with Jackie and Shauna for a few months now. You were enjoying it, and if you closed your eyes, your poly relationship was perfect. You liked them both, too, but there was a catch - you didn't quite know when to draw the line. Then Jackie and Shauna had to do it for you.

You said you'd step away "to pour some punch." Jackie and Shauna were fine with that - you want a drink? Well, they'd be there to haul your drunken body back to Shauna's car and take you home to sleep it off. When you're with your girls, you don't have to worry about anything, after all.

But you weren't back for a minute. Or two. Or five. That's when they started to worry.

"Where is she? I don't see her, do you, Shauna?" Jackie's eyes hawk-eyed, scanning the crowd around her, trying to sound loud enough to be heard over the throngs of school kids chattering away at this party.

"I don't think I see her," she mutters, her eyes darkening as she senses something is wrong. "No normal person spends five minutes pouring themselves a fucking punch."

"So we're thinking the same thing, Shauna?" Jackie asks dully, getting up from the couch. Just to clarify.

"Looks like it." Shauna replies, standing up. Her arm flings over Jackie's shoulder to keep her close. They walk through the crowd, Shauna looking menacing enough and Jackie looking serious enough that people make way for them as soon as they see them. Luckily (probably for you) they find you quickly. You were talking to some... girl? Jackie frowned. They don't even know who she is! Some no-name girl was talking to you. Oh, it was driving them crazy.

Jackie came up to you first, frowning and breathing through her nose, and Shauna followed.

"Hey," Jackie smiled falsely, finding your hand and taking a firm grip on your elbow. "So this is where you are and we've been waiting for you. Have you been pouring yourself a punch for so long? Or are you doing something else?" she asks, looking at you almost murderously.

Your heart sinks because you don't like that look. "Oh, I was just chatting with Jess," you smile shyly, "Here's Jess, by the way."

Jess smiles tightly, clearly unhappy that her opportunity for a quickie just disappeared.

"Hi... Jess." Jackie tries not to grind her teeth. Shauna doesn't even say hello, her eyes boring another hole into the damn bitch's head. "Anyway, come on, baby. We need to talk to you about something."

"Uh, okay? Bye, Jess." You wave awkwardly before letting Jackie drag you away from Lottie's mansion. You suspected something. Jackie leads you by the hand in front, squeezing it almost painfully, and Shauna is right behind you, burning you with her brown eyes.

"Why are we leaving? It's still early! It's not even midnight, and I haven't had a drink yet." You asks sadly as you three walk to Shauna's car. The car door slams shut with a metallic clang that makes your teeth rattle. Jackie shoves you into the backseat with uncharacteristic roughness, her perfect manicure digging crescent moons into your wrist. Shauna revs the engine hard enough to make the entire car vibrate, her knuckles bone-white around the steering wheel.

"Midnight?" Jackie hisses, climbing in after you. Her lipstick smears slightly from how hard she's biting her lower lip. "You think this is about curfew, Y/N?"

Shauna peels out of Lottie's driveway, gravel spraying. The radio blasts Hole's Violet at max volume. You feel Shauna's eyes burning through the rearview mirror - not the warm caramel gaze that melts when you wear her flannels, but something feral. Jackie's fingers suddenly cup your jaw, forcing you to meet her eyes. Her thumb presses hard against your bottom lip. "That girl's tongue was practically down your throat!" she whispers, breath hot and uneven against your ear. "You gonna let anyone taste what's ours?"

You sigh, taken aback by Jackie's reaction. You already knew she was jealous - of course you did, but usually she just pouted and sulked until you made it up to her with pretty promises and kisses and more. But now she seemed more persistent than she'd ever been with you. "But that's not true, she didn't do anything..." you muttered, trying to protect the remnants of your pride that were seeping through your fingers.

The car swerves as Shauna takes a turn too fast, her voice cutting through the music's snarl: "Seatbelt her, Jax. Now."

Jackie's free hand snakes across your hips, yanking the frayed belt across your lap with a violent click. Her other hand remains clamped on your face, rubbing your cheek in a halting, rather sharp motion. "We're not mad," she lies through clenched teeth, pupils blown wide. "We just need to... remind you." You don't quite understand what this is all about. You're starting to fidget with the tension now, restrained by your seatbelt, and you're trying to avoid your girlfriends' eyes. "I... you think I was flirting with Jess? I didn't!" Some small realization finally dawns on you. "She just asked me what I was doing here, and she said my dress was nice, and we just talked for a while. That's all. Jackie, I would never..." you trail off, "You can't be serious."

The engine dies with a shudder that runs through the car's steel frame. Shauna's door flies open.

"Serious?" Jackie barks a laugh that cracks like thin ice, unbuckling your seatbelt with a violent yank. "You let her breathe on you. Smile at you. Take up space that's marked!"

Shauna's hands clamp around your waist from behind before your sneakers hit gravel. Her teeth find the juncture of your neck and shoulder - not a bite, but the threat of one. "Walk," she growls against your skin, steering you toward the darkened colonial house.

Jackie slams the front door so hard a framed soccer trophy crashes downstairs. "You think we don't see?" Her voice climbs octaves with each step up the staircase, nails digging into your arm. "How they look at you? How you blush when they-"

Shauna kicks her bedroom door open, moonlight slicing across the yellowjacket banners on her walls. Her hands spin you roughly, back hitting the wall hard enough to knock breath from your lungs. "Ouch," you sigh. Then Shauna's grip immediately loosens, and her eyes briefly flicker with worry before she hides it. She obviously overdid it a bit, but she'll apologize to you later.

"Lesson time," Shauna murmurs. The captain's hands frame your face with terrifying gentleness.

"You belong here," Jackie whispers, thumb pressing your lower lip. "Not in some skank's mouth at a party. You know we love you, right, baby? And Shauna and I hate it when that happens. If you don't get enough, we'll make it up to you double, but don't do that."

Shauna vibrates against your collarbone as her hands slide up your thighs. "Let's make sure you remember.» You breathe anxiously. You knew your girlfriends' ways - you knew they could be like this if they wanted to. It was important to them to let you know that the three of you belonged equally to each other. And that it couldn't be any other way, but you really didn't think you were being flirted with! Although it was obvious. She was constantly staring at your pretty breasts and trying to undress you with her eyes. You saw it, but chose to ignore it. You weren't exactly sure why, but you weren't that stupid, obviously. Jackie and Shauna wouldn't like you if you were a complete idiot.

So you just lean your back against the wall, as if it could save you, and look at the floor in shame instead of at your girlfriends. "I... I'm sorry about this. I really don't know why someone always tries to flirt with me," you admit, "But I love you both." "Oh sweetheart," Jackie's sweetness undercut by the way her hands untie the ties of your dress, "you don't get to play naive with us." Her thumb swipes roughly across your cheekbone, smearing the tear you didn't realize had fallen. "We've seen that look a hundred times - the way their eyes drop to your tits, that stupid little smirk they give when they think they've got a chance." Shawna’s eyes darken as her hands slide up your sides possessively. "Should've seen your face," she growls, calloused fingers finding the hem of your dress. "All wide eyes and bitten lips while that bitch mentally undressed you." The fabric tears slightly as she yanks it upward, cold air hitting your thighs. You feel uncomfortable in your clothes - they even bothered to take off your favorite party dress completely, although, knowing them, they probably did it on purpose. "Like you didn't fucking know."

Jackie’s teeth graze your jugular as Shauna's palm slaps your bare thigh, the sting making you jump.

Shauna's teeth replace Jackie's at your neck, biting hard enough to bruise as her hand snakes between your legs. "First lesson," she growls against your skin, fingers pressing insistently through damp cotton. "You don't stand there looking like fucking dessert unless you want to get eaten."

"I d-don't want to be eaten-" you mumble, stumbling, your breath almost catching from so many insistent touches. You find it hard to stand against the wall, wanting to move onto something soft, but you don't think you've earned it yet. "I don't want anyone but you, I'm so sorry..." you mumble, sighing and twitching as Shauna's fingers brush against your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. Your hips jerk instinctively, wanting more. Jackie's lips brush your temple as she pins your wrists above your head, her voice honeyed poison. "Shhh, baby, we know," she murmurs, her hands sloppily running down your chest, groping at your hard nipples. “But your body is such a fucking liar.” She helps one of your thighs stay in the position Shauna wants.

Shauna's growl vibrates through your skirt as she rips your panties sideways. "Should've worn the ones we bought you," she snarls, calloused thumb spreading you open. "The black lace with our initials." Her finger trails up, stopping just above your clit. "This cotton shit's for strangers." “Look at me,” Jackie demands, tilting your chin up, "You're so cute right now. You're so loyal and good, aren't you? I never doubt you, baby..." "Don't praise her too soon," Shauna interrupts sharply, turning to you, "Do you think we like being this crazy?" Her finger circles your clit roughly, making you wetter. "You make us animals."

The bed creaks as Shauna suddenly yanks you down onto it, forcing your back to meet the softness of Shauna's mattress. Shauna's bed was always soft, and you took great pleasure in sleeping on it when the three of you had sleepovers, letting Jackie get in the middle. "Second lesson," she rasps, shoving two fingers deep without warning. Her other hand smacks your ass hard enough to leave a handprint. "You come when we say." Jackie straddles your face, trembling as she peels her lace aside. "Clean up your mess," she whimpers, nothing sweet left in her voice now. Her thighs clamp your ears as Shauna's palm muffles your moans, fingers curling cruel and perfect inside you.

You felt like you were being torn apart. Okay, it was intense - sex with your girlfriends was often like that, especially when they were both in a good mood, but you still weren't used to this tension in the room just because of you and what you did. You really loved the attention, yes. You were very attractive and it was just something you had to accept - girls loved you and looked at you.

But still, you always wanted attention only from Shauna and Jackie. And it was sincere. You just maybe sometimes didn't know how to ask for it. And then you began to unconsciously use the attraction of others to you as a crutch. True, you didn't know if you could do it, but... some ideas pay off.

You moan into Jackie's pussy as your hips tremble from Shauna's fingers inside you, filling all your wet space. You don't take your submissive and mistake-licking gaze off Jackie's eyes, confusedly watching how exactly she squirms on your face, using your tongue as a means of self-satisfaction and how hard she squeezes your head with her thighs. You want to cum so much, but Shauna has forbidden it: and you can't even utter a word, since your mouth will be busy until Jackie is completely sated with you. Jackie's moans pitch higher, her thighs trembling like violin strings against your temples. "That's it, Y/N," she gasps, fingers twisting in your hair as she grinds down harder. "Take your apology right from the s-source..." Her hips stutter, flooding your tongue as she comes with a shattered cry. But when she collapses back against the headboard, her touch turns tender—thumb brushing your spit-slick chin, voice syrupy with false sympathy. "Poor thing. All that work and you're still dripping."

Shauna's fingers curl upward, pressing that sweet spot that makes your vision blur. "Think she's learned yet?" she growls against the shell of your ear, palm smacking your ass again when you buck against her hand. The yellowjacket poster above the bed stares down judgmentally as she drags you upright by your throat. "Look at you," she sneers, forcing your gaze to the mirror across the room—to the mascara streaks, the bite marks blooming like ink stains, Jackie's lipstick smeared across your cheek like war paint. "Our dumb little attention whore." "I'm... I'm sorry." You mumble, whining as you feel the wetness between your legs. "I'm really sorry, I won't do this again. Just... just let me come, please? I love you so much." You slur, letting yourself squeeze your thighs together. How cheeky of you. Shauna's palm cracks across your inner thigh, the sting blooming hot as she pries your legs apart with brutal efficiency. "Squeeze again," she growls, calloused fingers digging into your quadriceps hard enough to bruise, "and I'll tie these ankles to the bedposts with your own fucking hair." Her other hand twists deeper, knuckles pressing mercilessly against your g-spot as she leans in to lick the tears from your cheek. "You come when your mouth remembers who owns it." Jackie’s hand slides over Shauna’s flannel-encased collarbone, her coral nails contrasting against the sweat-damp cotton of Shauna's tank top. "Now Shauna, maybe we should let her cum if she begs hard enough? I mean, I feel sorry for her already. She's our little girl, right?" Jackie pouts, trying to get to Shauna's heart, although it feels like a game. Usually you are the ones who fuck Jackie, you remember. But apparently, for this game, Jackie gave herself over to an experiment in behavior. You couldn't say you didn't like it. "Please, please, please-" You give in immediately, not even daring to resist. Not even hearing Shauna's response. You need it so much, oh god, you want this release, and only after this will you be able to rest forever. "I need it so much. I'm sorry, I'm guilty before you," your ears turn red from your own confessions. "Just let me cum-" Shauna smirks contentedly as she pulls her fingers out of you, leaving you clenching around nothing. "You want it?" she purrs, her free hand sliding up to clamp over your mouth. "Prove you're ours." Her teeth sink into the meat of your shoulder as she nods to Jackie—a silent command.

Jackie's lips curve into a saccharine smile as her hand lets go and pulls your hair, her fingers toying with the gold necklace she gave you last month. "Let's make it a prayer," she coos, "Beg properly this time. Tell us who you belong to while looking in the mirror. Every word wrong adds ten seconds before you come."

Shauna's fingers plunge back in with a wet slap, her rhythm brutal as she forces your gaze toward the reflection—toward Jackie's pristine perfection contrasted against Shauna's disheveled fury. "Start talking," Shauna growls, her palm muffling your first broken syllable as Jackie takes your chin, wanting to entice you to look in the mirror.

You groan loudly, your head resting so tiredly in Jackie's hands. You turn your head towards the mirror with a feeling of shame and unfulfilled duty. You fucking hated this mirror. "I..." You bit your lip, looking at yourself and hesitating. Fuck, you've never admitted this to yourself before. Shauna's fingers twist viciously inside you, the heel of her palm grinding against your clit with enough pressure to make your legs shake. "Eyes open," she snarls, using her free hand to wrench your face toward the mirror. The reflection mocks you—Jackie's lips pressed to your ear, Shauna's teeth buried in your shoulder, your own face flushed and tear-streaked like some debauched saint in a Renaissance painting.

Jackie's voice drips false compassion as she traces the bite marks on your collarbone as Shauna pulls away, apparently satisfied with her bite on your body, making you whine and squirm. "It's okay to say it, sweetheart," she murmurs, her breath hitching when Shauna's thrusts make you jolt against her. She kisses your cheeks haltingly, leaving marks on them. "We already know the truth. Just let it out so we can make you feel good."

The words clot in your throat like spoiled honey. Shauna's laugh is dark as she slows her fingers to a torturous crawl. "Think she needs more motivation." Her free hand snakes up to pinch your nipple hard through your dress, the fabric suddenly abrasive as sandpaper. "Count of three, or I stop completely. One—"

"Yours!" The confession rips from you like a splintered bullet, voice cracking as Jackie's nails dig crescent moons into your hips. "I'm yours, both of you, only ever—fuck—"

Shauna's fingers piston into you with renewed fury, her grin feral in the mirror's reflection. "Louder."

"YOURS!" you scream to the girl in the glass—to the trembling mess with Jackie's lipstick smeared across her cheekbones and Shauna's handprints blooming on her thighs. "I belong to Jackie and Shauna, I'm—oh god—I'm your dumb little—"

Jackie's mouth crashes onto yours, swallowing your sob as Shauna finally lets you break. The orgasm tears through you like a forest fire, your back arching so violently you nearly headbutt Jackie. Shauna rides you through it with brutal precision, her free hand clamping over your mouth when the pleasure borders on pain. "That's it," she growls against your sweat-slick temple. "Take what you earned."

The mirror fogs with your panting breaths as Jackie gently wipes tears from your cheeks, her voice syrup-sweet again. "Good girl." Her thumb brushes your swollen lower lip. "Now let's discuss your punishment for making us wait so long." You haven't had time to recover from your previous orgasm when you look at them in shock, feeling your heart drop into your heels. "W-What?" you ask, sounding like it's more of a squeak. Your eyes dart between Shauna, who is positioned between your legs, and Jackie, who is sitting next to your head.

You don't know what to do when they start giggling and quickly lose their old temper.

Jackie's laugh breaks first, her fingers immediately softening as they card through your sweat-damp hair. "Oh baby," she coos, pressing featherlight kisses along your trembling jaw, "you should see your face." Her hands flutter over you like nervous doves — brushing sticky strands of hair from your forehead.

Shauna's already across the room rummaging through her soccer duffel, broad shoulders blocking the lamp light. When she turns back, her calloused hands are surprisingly gentle wrapping her favourite red flannel around your shoulders. "Drink," she grunts, pressing a water bottle to your lips, her thumb wiping a stray droplet from your chin when you choke on the first sip.

"Shh, we've got you," Jackie murmurs, arranging herself behind you so your back rests against her chest. Her signature sweet perfume envelops you as she rocks gently, her lips moving against your ear. "We just... God, when we saw her touching you—" Her voice cracks. "We wanted to kill someone at that moment. You had to come back very, very quickly, and she literally stole you!"

Shauna's knee hits the mattress as she straddles your legs, her usual scowl softened at the edges. She presses her forehead to yours, "You're ours to protect," she growls low enough that only you can hear it. "Even from our own fucking selves."

Jackie's fingers interlace with Shauna's over your heartbeat, their shared warmth seeping into your bones. "No more parties for a week," she declares, nuzzling the crown of your head. "We're staying in. Making you watch 10 Things I Hate About You until you can recite the poem scene."

Shauna's snort ruffles your bangs as she tucks the blanket tighter around your hips. "And eating those shitty rainbow cookies you like," she adds gruffly, her calloused palm lingering on your cheek. "The ones that taste like Play-Doh."

The yellowjacket banner above the bed flutters in the sudden breeze from Shauna's window, moonlight painting silver stripes across your tangled limbs. Jackie hums the chorus of "Kiss Me" off-key into your hair while Shauna's thumb traces absentminded plays from last week's game on your thigh. Their synchronized breathing slowly steadies yours, the earlier frenzy dissolving into something warmer, softer—a shared language written in heartbeat rests and tangled ankles.

The three of you loved each other. But sometimes you really felt like your girlfriends liked to torture you a little. But at least the torture was sweet.

[errriiie]

hi everylesbian what should i write next according to my old requests

jackieshauna x reader pre-crash jealous smut

lottienat x reader threesome in s3 timeline

Voting ended onMar 20, 2025

[errriiie]

Pre-Crash!Jackie Taylor NSFW Alphabet minors DNI

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Jackie is so sleepy and clingy. She sticks to you like a fly sticks to sweets: just let her be with you and take care of her a little - give her a massage to her aching shoulders or maybe scratch her back. If the atmosphere is comfortable and relaxed, then in about fifteen minutes she will be snoring into her pillow, satisfied and happy. Of course, she can take care of you in return. She will try not to roll her eyes and be diligent, but she really wants to rest.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners) Oh, that's an interesting question. Jackie is pretty confident, I think she loves her legs. She loves showing them off to everyone and playing soccer only makes them look better and more attractive. Just look at her calves, you literally want to bite them with your fucking teeth. Not to mention her thighs. I think she likes your shoulders. They're always a good place to lean on or rest her chin during intense sex while she's pressed against you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically) She doesn't like to get dirty, she likes you to get dirty. She likes to see that you've gone to great lengths to lick her off, leave it on your mouth, or lick your fingers after fucking her with them thirty seconds ago, but she's a neat freak when it comes to your orgasm. I mean, she won't hesitate to tell you off and smear your orgasm mercilessly all over your inner thighs, making you wince in displeasure if you happen to cum in her mouth.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) She likes it when you tease her a little and humiliate her. She discovered this after a while of trying sex with you. The thought of you telling her off for all her wrongdoings and negative traits was too much of a turn on for her when she masturbated. She would never want that with a guy - it terrifies her, but with you, her comfort person, with whom she feels what is real and what is not… well, that's something else entirely.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) She has no experience at all. You are literally her first girlfriend! She has no idea what she is doing, she is so confused and it is so hard for her to learn. She also needs time to realize what she wants in sex with you, what she likes. Just receiving or giving too (more on that below)? The only thing she was good at was kissing, which she practiced with Shauna at least two years ago. Otherwise, she has a hard time.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying) On your lap, your fingers inside her, and you don't let go of eye contact. I'm done.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.) She is quite focused on herself and her feelings, but she also keenly watches your facial expressions and how they change as sex goes on. If you frown a lot, she will quickly come out of her state of bliss and ask what is wrong with you. She does not want there to be any problems between you and is capable of making some sacrifices for this.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) She is absolutely smooth. Pussy, armpits, legs, arms… You may even find it annoying - you can't imagine for whom she is trying so hard to shave everything, because it doesn't really matter to you, but Jackie is just still a little toxically feminine in her head and was brought up to shave everywhere. She herself is not always comfortable with this.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.) She is overstimulated and very desperate. She does not think much about romance during sex, especially when it is not your first, fifth or even tenth - she prefers to be terribly romantic outside of bed when it comes to your dates or time together. Usually, she just gives in to the process.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon) The first time Jackie came on her own fingers while thinking about you, it shifted something in her. She had never considered the idea that she could feel anything for a girl before. She thought of herself as a straight heterosexual, with a successful and dumb boyfriend, with a perfect best friend, parents, life… it wasn't supposed to include you and her attraction. And yet, it did.

She experienced a storm of feelings and sensations from orgasm that was hard to imagine, and she got hooked on it so quickly. She masturbated every day or two, and the more often she did it, the more comfortable she became with the thought of how sexy you were. The way she imagined you together while rubbing fast circles around her wet clit and biting her lips, holding back moans in her room was a little awkward, but we don't blame the girl for her lack of experience. She both hated you and loved you for how magnetically arousing you were. Of course, she was desperate to get close. Perhaps, in some ways, Jackie's sudden desire at the sight of you was what finally brought you together, since she was truly hunting you down.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Did I mention that Jackie has a humiliation kink? So, speaking of which… God, it's incredible, although she's actually pretty vanilla even in that. She wants you to talk dirty to her and show her where "her place" really is. I actually think Jackie deals with a lot of pressure in the back of her mind - she might be thinking alone about how people treat her. She knows there are people who are jealous of her and she hopes there aren't too many of them because Jackie is perceptive. I think she's playing out that scenario through the humiliation kink where she's trying to prove that she's a good person. But for some reason, that turns her on.

You slap her clit and she shudders, whining. The dirty sound of the blow echoes around the room, making Jackie's vision blur. — Well, little miss perfect? ​​Look at you, bitch. You don't look perfect right now. Do you like the way I treat you? Do you like it when I tell you off for being such an arrogant good-for-nothing?

She whimpers at the sensation, her legs literally shaking as you bring two fingers to her entrance, stroking it so arousingly and seductively. — I… I'm not like that, I just… I'm good, I swear… — Shut your mouth, bunny, - you interrupt, your fingers teasing her. — You're being too talkative today. Maybe I should give your mouth something to do? What do you think? Jackie bites down on her lower lip, her gaze so seductively sweet, and you can't help but get excited, pushing two fingers into her. She moans your name, and it sounds like a symphony. — First I'll deal with your pussy, and then you'll deal with mine. — Yes, yes, yes… - she mumbles selflessly, while you fuck her so well.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) Usually you fuck at your place, and Jackie is fine with that. She's not ready to go public with your relationship and step outside the box, but every time she argues with Shauna, she gets this obsessive thought about having sex with you in Shauna's car, forcing Shauna to catch you red-handed. She doesn't know how, but she wants to right up until the moment when she and Shauna make up again.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Your initiative. When you act like you want her, she loves you and wants to be the most desirable person in the world for you, and she will do anything to get that feeling. But she also likes to fuck when she is jealous, and she is very jealous. She likes your tongue deep inside her, when her thighs squeeze your head and she shows you who you belong to - because she can control you the way she wants.

— Yes, like that, God, yes… a little to the left, oh, f-fuck, - she mutters, her nails literally digging into your scalp with absolute intent, making you whine in pain while you lick her. — See? See how much I like you? You don't have… You don't have the right to look at that girl, knowing that I… that I need your tongue so badly! You mumble in confusion: Jackie doesn't let you know exactly what she's talking about, but you want answers. She only squeezes your head tighter with her thighs, and you feel like she's going to choke you at this rate. — That girl, at Lottie's party… I saw the way she looked at you, and you smiled at her, f-fuck! - she squeezed out, and it didn't even sound mean. She was too busy melting from the feeling of the wetness running down her ass and the orgasm that was coming. — You should have pushed her away and told her that you were mine! You and Jackie… together, oh, I'm going to cum, bloody hell! She cums in your mouth, her displeasure fading as her her chest doesn't stop rising and falling and her breathing doesn't return to normal. — She's my cousin, Jacks, - you suddenly say, cutting through the silence between you. — Don't you remember? I told you she moved in recently and is now at school with us. That's why she was at the party. You watch as Jackie's ears turn red all the way to the tips with shame and embarrassment.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Nothing nasty, nothing really painful, nothing really offensive. Jackie likes to walk on a line that she has set for herself, and she hates to cross it. She has set one for you, too, and she always tries to keep it for you, too. She is just a caring little ray of sunshine.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Jackie loves to receive, but she can also give sometimes. There are a lot of factors that have to come together for this to happen, but if you and Jackie are a couple, you don't mind when she doesn't fuck you back. You're used to it and you like what you have.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Depends on the mood, really. Sometimes you want it slow and sensual, sometimes - fast and "rough" (her rough is just average sex, really).

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) She wouldn't mind! Run home for 15 minutes, let her cum hard, and walk her to soccer practice on Friday? Yes, please!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) Jackie is traditional and skeptical about experimentation. She often rejects everything until she tries it (like Lottie), and as it turns out, she is more interested in experimentation than she initially thinks.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) Jackie has little stamina. Two orgasms for her - she is already exhausted, she needs rest and a snack. Fun fact, but if you agree that she will also please you, then she is often more energetic.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) No, she can't afford toys for some reasons: she's shy and she's the perfect daughter of her parents. She loves the vibrator - that incredible toy helped your sex life so much once.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease) Ooo, she loves to tease you. She wants to ignite your desire, and teasing is just another opportunity to do everything she can to feel needed and wanted. She will swivel her hips in front of you so enticingly, she will bite your bottom lip in a kiss and pull it so seductively, she will squirm on your lap like she is dying without you. You have been on her hook for a long time.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) When she gets used to you, she becomes very loud. Literally moans throughout the apartment and does not like to hold back. She just wants you to know that you are doing her good and that she really enjoys it. No guy has ever done it for her as nicely as you have and she wants to imprint it in her memory. Every night.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character) It may be an unpopular opinion, but Jackie can still give back! And what's more, she can like it. In my opinion, the fact that she often gets it is connected with her initially false ideas about lesbian sex - she was used to the fact that with Jeff she just… lay and smiled. She did not feel good at all, but she did nothing, she was beautiful and that's it. At first, it seems to her that everything is the same with you, but only then she begins to understand that with you it really is good and things are done a little differently.

She expresses a desire to taste you somewhere two months after your first time. You are surprised, but do not refuse. She licks you slowly, very gently and clumsily, and you like it. You hold her head, encouraging her. Jackie finds that she is very turned on by this, and it turns out that doing something is not so bad. She is already fantasizing about how this can diversify your sex life and is pleasantly surprised by how your face looks beautiful during orgasm. After that, she becomes more involved.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Lace, lace, lace… She wears cute lace underwear for you, every time hoping that you will appreciate it and is VERY offended if this does not happen.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Average, I guess? She wants it once or twice a week. However, you are always there if there are changes in her schedule.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward) Fifteen minutes and she's ready. Sex exhausts her, and she loves to wake up feeling satisfied and happy, especially if she wakes up with you or finds that you've gone but covered her with something warm and taken care of her. She loves being your little sleeping beauty.