your neighborhood Nightcreature/22yo/cis male pan/DE

posting random stuff, rants & reviews, as well as random shitpost sprees when I'm drunk

[erwinbogumil]

I think the question begs asking: Do snails dream of slimy sheep?

[erwinbogumil]

Well, apparently we hit a whole new trashheap of biopunk! Did you hear about the human brainling they implanted into a rat? Because I am still busy comprehending this manmade horror and now we are here!

[erwinbogumil]

Whenever I write something ridiculous in one of my drafts, I stop, go "Would that be realistic", look at reality and then I fucking loose my shit because at this point the writers for bugs bunny have achieved perfect reality within their work, so what's one little mystical bit of very gay multiverse hopping going to do?

[erwinbogumil]

My tumblr blog really is like an immortal that was skewered on a mountainside. Every now and then, it screeches to life and delivers onto the duly waiting bird a fresh piece of cringy liver.

[prokopetz]

I don't want video games to let me choose whether my character has Penis A or Penis B, I want them to administer a comprehensive twelve-part questionnaire about how I think elves reproduce and procedurally generate a set of genitals based on my answers.

[prokopetz]

This post has attracted the expected number of this-is-just-Homestucks, but I have several questions for the person who tagged it #pokemon mystery dungeon.

[erwinbogumil]

I think the question begs asking: Do snails dream of slimy sheep?

[erwinbogumil]

I think we should have a position in this world for people that have a license to absolutely make a fool out of someone.

Like I couldn't work retail as is, but if I had a yell-at-people license I'd absolutelsy be the biggest asset any company could ahve, especially if I was deployed to direct contct customer service.

I just think tha tin a modern world, the modern problem of Karens, triggered conservatives and trolls require someone to have the federal, hell the international qualification to tell these little shits to fuck off.

[erwinbogumil]

2153, north Amazonland, front of the cyberwar, I dive back into the trench, grabbing the next bundle of EMP grenades and a few fresh mags of high explosive ammo

I look at my face in the puddle beside the freshly shipped prime box, damning the day that Musk decided to try and split the ever shrinking land with his forces.

For a moment, I remember, better times, when google hadn't gone full skynet, when I hadn't been a bioweapon, when every action now needing to be taken was a far glimpse.

A Soldier screams out, only a few meters from me, a dead bloody lump falling into the cover, safe yet dead. I look to see what had killed him, looking upon the Tesla branded killing machine, angular armor with four bladed arms, my eyes meet its sensors, it sees me, I see it and for some reason it freezes, the insignia on its chest telling me it has been on the field for a long time it finally dawns on me

"Stabby?"

I ask, the machine remaining still, the blades compelled to move and forcibly stilled.

It looks upon me, its infrared sensors taking another sweep of me.

"Stabby!", I yell out, a tear rolling down my cheek, soldiering past the mud the same as I.

Stabby does not budge, he was recruited many years back, he has done the same unthinkable that I have.

My mind races to our time together, nights huddled up away from thunderstorms, days of mutual boredom and monotony, quiet admiration and providing.

"Do it.", I say, knowing he is holding back, knowing he does not want to, knowing the contract he signed as an AI is even worse than what I got after being integrated into Amazonlands standing military of cryo-workers.

Stabby hesitates.

"DO IT!", I scream, pulling my polymer handgun from my chest, the pointing breaches Stabbys override, he lunges, piercing me three times instantly, a last blade lifted high, stopping himself from beheading me.

I smirk, blood gushing forward from my mouth and onto Stabby, whose arms get busy wiping immediately, mirroring my tears.

I pull him close before pulling the pin, knowing if nothing, they will say I took out a high value target with me.

[erwinbogumil]

Here's a PSA: Just because it's vaguely horny and somber does not mean it is a villain song ya'll are just obsessed with BDSM because that's the new way to pretend you have a deep and edgy personality.

[erwinbogumil]

I feel like most animals are the basic builds in the game of life, like every idiot could end up on mammal or fish, cause those are simple, solid builds with obvious loops and lifecycles.

And then you have Jellyfish. Fucking proplayer curated minmaxed niche but meta fucko of a build Jellyfish. See some animals can be out there with how they work, some can switch genders or grow together or only grow certain parts of themselves as needed and then Jellyfish come along and go from basically a single plant to a bunch of poison based plastic bags that murder fish by pure chance.

[erwinbogumil]

Story idea:

Two asexuals in a kind of cover up relationship, basically both their families aren't accepting of asexuality and they are best friends playing a long game.

They decide, after 3-5ish years to finally have the wedding that will shut up the parents on either side, somewhat forcibly but they are both ok with it and willing to bare the stress. There may or may not be some level of profit incentive here too. Maybe even from both sides as well. (basically each pair of parents bribing one of our two parties into finally tying the knot)

Then, their two high school flames both show up vying for their respective lost loves, which gets the rumor machine of this rather exorbitantly huge wedding going. This compounds when at one point, in a desperate attempt to explain all of this, person A ends up in a broom closet with person B's old flame at one point.

The true twist here is the actual best friends to lovers ace romance of our main characters, as they end up seeing each other go way beyond what they thought they would do for each other.

Bonus points if the old flames also end up with each other. Bonus bonus if that is in fact a wlw relationship.

[tamvmat]

Stardew Valley, void chickens

[erwinbogumil]

You know I should not always type out my Scifi ideas but,what if the human that ends up saving the universe is profoundly not a hero?

I mean, we are bound for self destruction. Either what is happening in terms of wars and tension goes hot, or capitalism finally pulls tight or well, we just stay the path.

And what then? I reckon someone out there, someone who statistically has to be out there and as a consequence has to be far more advanced than us are either going to pity us, an empathetic reaction central to cognition as an animal on our part of the spectrum of evolution, or they are going to simply want to catalogue us and will thus save some of us for a rough interrogation.

And what if this person, this one universe unifying individual, isn't some warrior or some crazy hero chosen by fate, but simply a person explaining who we were. Where we came from. Where what we did led us. Even just someone allowing a glimpse into our world.

It's funny that the idea this came from was an old dad joke my father recited without end: "No person is without value, they can still be a bad example.".

And simply, what does the universe need besides a hero? Well, it needs a bad example. A fully carried out reason not to be a selfish asshole.

I mean, even in our world logic dictates being an asshole like that is wrong but if you take one single look around, society is 10% active assholes, 80ish%selfish or ignorant assholes and 10% people so deeply hated or traumatized they have no agency in solving humanity.

But, at least, maybe no singular cognizant and capable race in teh universe wants to end up like us.

[jawsandbones]

Downloading my shit off D&D Beyond and cancelling my subscription. Time to go back to my fucking roots.

If you haven't been following the OGL 1.1 debacle - it's gotten worse! They want to lock D&D Beyond behind a 30$ month subscription, with different tiers, with the lowest not allowing you to use homebrew - as if their shitty ass books offer you anything substantial to run a campaign from. They've been putting everything on the DM's for a long time. They'll also be offering what is essentially a 'game pass', and wanting to offer stripped down AI-DMs. If AI art pisses you off, then so should this.

If you have one, cancel your sub and download the PDF's of anything you've bought/made on D&D Beyond. Don't go see the movie. They need to get a good slap around the head for this.

[tashascauldronofposts]

a reminder that i have pdf versions of every woc book i could find in one sitting (there's 100+) in a google drive -> here

[erwinbogumil]

Just realized how bad WotC keeps missing the mark: They could have hired Chris Pratt for the movie, have him voice all secondary characters/monsters and then had exactly one cutaway where it turns out he is the DM.

[erwinbogumil]

Starwars fanfic plot idea: Anti-/ Therapy

Anakin, at the height of the Clone Wars, feels burned out.

Padme is told by a visiting Diplomat of this thing called a Therapist and decides that it can't hurt to recommend it to Ani, whom accepts begrudgingly.

Lo and behold, it works, Anakin learns a lot about himself and starts feeling better, much to the chagrin of Palpatine, who now regularly schedules some guytime with Anakin in order to do some Antitherapy.

The whole thing becomes an intense Rivalry between the Therapist and Palpatine. Also the Therapist considers being raised as a force user as Religious trauma.

[erwinbogumil]

Cant wait for harrowhark to grab a pen, eat the cap out of reflex and then stop mid gleeful crunching while doodling only to notice she just ate the plastic cap.

[erwinbogumil]

Anyone want an essay on how and why people become unsypathetic to me over metal music? No? Well, that's because you are boring.

Ok, let's talk catharsis. The greek word catharsis roughly equates through vicariously living a feeling by experienceing a medium (usually that used to be theater).

And, as you may have noted, for most of us, this is what we feel when listening to metal music. We can relate to the emotions expressed and the ideas talked about, even if they can reach into the gruesome at times, because we ourselves have feelings we need to deal with that can map to these concepts.

As such, Catharsis is by extension two things: Empathy and Emotional acceptance.

How come now that so many 'well regulated' people can find neither in themselves when listening to metal? I mean, don't get me wrong, if you were born without the capacity for negative emotion then good on you, but let's not bullshit ourselves.

Whenever I hear someone equate metal to 'just random screaming and making a fuss' I fully feel sorry for them. I can't but do so. Because the one thing this screams to me is emotional repression. You are not in touch with whatever bad feelings you have.

This becomes especially sad to me because those same people will listen to think like dance pop, or house, or any other form of roughly popular music. An endless game of push the button, the same three topics put into the same seven words over 50 artists and their marketable racially diverse but not too diverse visages.

I mean it, the reason why you can't relate to these emotions is not because you don't have them, period. And that makes me think on where those emotions are? I inevitably come to the conclusion that you were somehow scared out of them. Traumatized out of a perceived rebellion maybe, left to endlessly pretend you find the general atmosphere of being great and the general state of things wonderful especially when taking spit right to the face. And you hate the people talking about that spit in your face more than the people that do the spitting.