the internet's #1 cringe wizard

the quickest way to understand what a loser i am is to scroll at turbo speeds through this blog

[dogpuppy]

[sapphling]

i hope every introverted hopeless romantic with a secret freak side finds an ANCIENT COIN

[existennialmemes]

A man records himself torching his work place while saying "All you had to do was pay us enough to live. Or at least enough not to do this."

And news reports are officially saying his motive is undetermined because they don't want to admit that they know exactly what his motive is.

"Nothing to see here folks. Just a truly baffling event that came completely out of nowhere and can't be understood. Please don't think about it and start rambling about workers' rights again."

[sinnnnndiesel]

There have been over a hundred more since then. Even the ones in my hometown aren’t hitting the news. Just gonna drop this here:

US Warehouse Fire Tracker

Live tracking of warehouse and industrial facility fires across the United States

[swaxe]

Today's LGBTQ+ Character of the day is

The Essential Worker (heavily implied)

[maroonracoon]

You Were My Joker That Night

[camera-seventeen]

2026 carat survey results! (check the twitter thread for more results ^^)

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[clementine-kesh]

so embarrassing when you finally get around to watching or reading some landmark piece of media well known for having a massive slash fandom and finding yourself completely drawn in by the homoeroticism as well like oh my god has anyone else heard of these kirk and spock guys? sam and frodo? sherlock and watson? anyone else seeing this?

[nikomedes]

[aquilacalvitium]

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

[aquilacalvitium]

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

[camera-seventeen]

From 1 TO 13.... The 13th Annual Carat Survey is now open!

Not sure if anyone is still here but had to release it on Tumblr for my OGs <3 Clearly if there's one thing I am, it's a creature of habit.

Responses will be collected for about a month, and as always, results will be posted here and on my Twitter. Check out past infographics here!

I’m looking forward to seeing the results! Please feel free to spread the link to the survey to other platforms to reach as many Carats as possible ^^ 

CLICK TO TAKE THE 2026 CARAT SURVEY!

[depsidase]

[luxion912]

Finding someone that understands The Character™ the same way you do

[depsidase]

[mug-of-beans]

“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”

No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.

[aqueerkettleofish]

Look, if the new magic didn't have a personality construct that kept trying to tell me which spells to use, maybe I wouldn't still be using the old magic.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Yes it had a deep blood cost, but at least it was a one time sacrifice and not this monthly bloodletting nonsense new age magic has

[wizard-archivist-official]

The old magic is robust enough to survive a decade of use and it's compatible with every wand, staff, scroll, and charm in our collection.

The new magic stops working after three days and every spell uses proprietary runes.

Our preferences, as an archiving institution, should be pretty clear.

[charlesoberonn]

You try to get guidance for the new magic and the king's sorcerers maybe will answer you in a few days with an unhelpful suggestion to buy the newest orb.

You need guidance for the old magic and a dozen retired middle-aged wizards will pop up to explain it to you rune by rune if necessary.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[typhus-andronicus]

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

oh yes it's that time of year