Warnings: Drug consumption, swearing, very very slightly suggestive,
Word Count: 2,550
You squished the glittery sauce between your fingers, the giggles and laughter radiating from beside you as the thin liquid dropped further into your palm.
“Do I really have to put it in my eye?” Your voice carried with disgust, not sure if you wanted to indulge.
Ragatha hummed, her exaggerated movement nearly shoved you off the couch as her arm wrapped around your shoulder. You leaned away, the sauce starting to drop down your forearm.
“I’m sure you can ingest it without any complications.” Zooble was sat across from you, the bean bag dipping further with their movements as the bottle in their hand let out a familiar squelch.
“You just-I can’t believe I let you two talk me into this.” You rolled your eyes as the liquid dripped down the mismatched parts of Zooble’s triangular face, their eyes growing twice the size before their body fell limp.
“You asked for something fun, is this not fun? I risked my life stealing another bottle!” Ragatha giggled, finally rolling fully onto the couch pushing you away from her.
“I’m sure Caine would’ve happily given you a bottle instead of you sneaking around, which you failed at by the way.” You hissed through your teeth, finally deciding on sitting on your bed instead of fighting the ragdoll for the couch.
“Caine likes us but not enough to-to-what were we talking about?” Zoobles words slurred together, their eyes twirling around while they grounded themselves with a quick wiggle to get comfortable.
“I can’t deal with you two sober.” Your chuckle fell on deaf ears as they both engaged in a conversation about something unfamiliar to you.
You swiped your finger up your arm, collecting the glittery substance. Your eyes closed, placing a small dollop on your tongue which exploded with the familiar taste of cotton candy, birthday cake and just when it couldn’t get worse it ended with the faintest scent of coffee.
It was such an odd flavor your nearly gaged until the familiar pit in your stomach blossomed into something delicious. The high hit you in a similar fashion to something you had taken in the real world.
“Woah, this stuff is kind of strong.” Your words drifted further into the void around you until your body relaxed against the plush covers of your bed. “I can’t feel my face.”
Your laughter filled the space along with Zooble and Ragathas. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed before Ragatha cut into the crazed conversation that had to many ends and not enough beginnings.
“I knew this was a good- a good- wait look at the pretty stars!” Ragatha’s words drifted to awe as she pointed at your ceiling, the familiar patterns of stars never looked as beautiful.
You sunk down into your bed, the covers seeming to wrap around you like clouds. The weight from the two sinking in beside you was quick as more laughter filled the room. Zooble pointed to a constellation that looked similar to Gangle’s art, and Ragatha pointed toward one that resembled a horse but all you could see were blotches of mismatching stars.
You could feel the high wearing off quickly and instead of letting it ride out you were already holding the bottle to your lips. The familiar taste hit your tongue as you did three big gulps.
This time instead of washing over you in that pleasing buzz it was like the world around you collapsed, the familiar darkened void screamed with faces that didn’t have a name. Your heart leapt from your throat before your vision glazed over and all you could see was art pieces from Gangle and a horse trotting through the ceiling.
“I see-I see a carousel!” You leaned closer to Ragatha, pointing toward the ceiling with a broken gasp. The light in her eyes glazed over, the sight making her cry out in annoyance.
“Why did you make a carousel with my horse!? That’s-that’s so mean!” Her eyes watered while she tried to rearrange the stars with her hands toward the sky.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! Let me help I can-“ Your own hand raised to push aside stars that didn’t seem to move as well as hers, and instead of helping you had somehow made it worse.
“Stop it! You’re making a mess!” Ragatha pushed your hands aside unknowingly knocking a few into Zooble’s constellation.
“Hey watch it! You can’t turn mine into a carousel too!” Zooble was quick to grab your hands, moving them down onto your stomach, making sure you won’t make another mess.
You could feel annoyance wiggle its way into your head, your arms crossing in childlike anger. “You guys are no fun!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-don’t hate me for making you upset!” Ragatha lost interest in the stars already groveling with sadness as her hands wrapped around yours.
You could see the tears threatening to spill from her eye and you wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but that thought fell to the back of your mind before a question surfaced.
“Does your button eye see too, or is it for decoration?” At your words Ragatha’s sad express dropped, her blank expression making your lungs hurt from laughing so hard. “You should see your face, it looks like this-“
You could feel her grip loosen, her face scrunched as she reach across you to grab the bottle of Stupid Sauce. “That’s it, you lost your privileges!”
Your hand clasped down to grab it before she slid off your bed. Zooble groaned in annoyance, their own high starting to falter. And you fought with Ragatha for a moment over the sauce, you forgot the reason you even wanted it.
Your hand pulled the bottle until sauce was falling onto the floor, the substance sinking into the carpet. It was odd, your high wearing off in the blink of an eye, and the silence never felt louder. You could practically feel the daggers digging into the back of your head.
“I didn’t mean to do that! I’m so sorry Ragatha!“ you felt yourself sink away, realizing what you had done.
You could hear Zooble huff, then a sudden pop and there was faint sounds of licking. The air shifted quickly, disgust taking place where annoyance once resided. The sight beneath you was horrible, the outline of a tongue lapping up the sauce on the carpet.
“What the f###” Your hands fell to your side, looking down at the Bubble as his faint lapping noises seemed to grow increasing louder just to make you all even more uncomfortable.
“Thank you.” Bubble spoke after finishing cleaning the floor, looking up to you with an unknown expression. Then his tongue came back out with a bottle of Stupid Sauce, “‘ere ‘ake it ‘weet’art”
Regatta stood in front of you quickly shaking her hands at the Bubble, “We couldn’t possibly-“
“I wa’n’t ta’king to you ‘oll.” Bubble spoke quickly maneuvering himself to move past Ragatha, his tongue flicking to emphasize he wanted you to take it.
“Wait! We shouldn’t-what if Caine finds out?” Ragatha’s voice of reason came out before you could even think of reaching for it.
“You know he seen you take that bottle earlier. Does ALL SEEING EYES not ring a bell? I say take it, I want to get back to staring at the ceiling.” Zooble’s voice was unwavering, speaking more truth than either of you wanted to admit.
Bubble inched closer to you, shoving the bottle closer to you before you had anytime to avoid it. In your haste to back away, the sauce was squished enough to shoot a small amount into your eye. You could feel the high instantly hit, and Bubble didn’t stop with you he shot at both Ragatha and Zooble before popping out of existence.
You stumbled backward into your bed falling onto the floor clutching your stinging eye, it burned in the worst way possible and you weren’t able to ponder on that pain before your vision blacked out. A horrific version of Caine flashed in your mind, that familiar ache lying in your chest. Your heart hammered against your chest with worry, the jaw of the pair of teeth opened consuming you before your vision refocused on your ceiling.
A lazy giggle left your lips as you sank further into the carpet of your room, a familiar giggle following soon after you.
“I can’t believe we-we let that little bastard… Caine is going to be so upset.” Your words hung in the air, your small chuckles echoing in your ears before you heard another laugh from your side.
“What I don’t understanding is why you stand up for him, he’s so-so annoying. It’s almost like you… no~” Zooble flung themselves back onto your bed, their words slurred together as they covered their triangular face in disbelief.
You could feel your already warm face burn, the realization setting in on what they were going to say.
“It’s so obvious! You’re just now realizing it Zoobie?” Ragatha added on, leaning further into the carpet at your feet.
The world around you glitched and for a moment your mind was racing to find a solution only to feel your body begin to levitate.
Ragatha and Zooble followed, their eyes glowing with wonder as they started twisting and turning around the space of your room.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” A slurred boisterous voice boomed around you, your smile dropping immediately in worry at the many eyes floating around your room before they disappeared leaving only a mismatched pair staring into your very soul.
“Speak of the-of the… how does that saying go?” Zooble looked toward Ragatha for help, only for the doll to hum in wonder at the way the stars on your ceiling sparkled, like she hadn’t seen them before.
“I can see my buttery waffle pancakes are having a blast! Bubble mentioned a-a-I see you’re enjoying this.” Caine floated lazily around the room watching each of you twist and turn, bouncing from wall to wall like you were superhero’s.
You were sitting on the roof, giggling like a manic watching Zooble’s pieces coming apart like a puzzle piece. Your hands pushing them around with a large smile as they crashed into each other.
With a snap of his fingers Zooble was back together, their own laughter following as their parts kept falling off like they were doing it on purpose. And each time Caine would reconstruct them, his eyes following each piece around your room.
His gaze fell on you again, your hands holding one of their head pieces in your palms. You were very gently floating down toward the top of their head, your gaze lingering on Zooble’s just incase you needed to help them float upright, he could see the way your eyes twinkled in the light of your room, twinkling in a way that had his entire body engulfed in flames.
“Wowie, your eyes sparkle wonderfully in this light My dear.” Caine, was floating upside down toward you, his cane long forgotten as his eyes were hanging loosely on his top jaw as he inched toward you.
You were nudged by Ragatha from behind you, your body not in control of where you floated and it just so happened to be toward the ring leader. You could hear Ragatha’s soft hum from behind you as she started guiding Zooble toward the furthest part of your room. a quick glance back was enough to know her hazy reasoning.
You looked back toward Caine, the way his pupils were hearts didn’t go unnoticed as you covered your mouth stifling a laugh.
“Don’t do that.” You were now a giggling mess, playfully pushing away the Ringmaster only for him to nuzzle further into your palm. You could see his jaw close comfortably, a soft buzz emitting from him as you swiped your thumb over his top jaw. “Are you okay?”
Caine paused, his eyes peaking out from his teeth shyly then he seemed to smile up at you. “At first I was curious why you wanted the Stupid Sauce, but now I see it does leave a pleasant feeling in my circuits.”
“I was upset at first, I thought the adventure must have been horrible for you to want to escape into your room.” Caine brought his gloved hand down toward yours that was still rubbing gentle circles into his gums. His hand gently caressed your finger tips, working their way up to your wrist and along your forearm. “I see now that it’s a nice way to wind down. It’s also easier to understand… that…”
The touch was feather light, warm and inviting. It pulled your drunken brain into a spiral, your lips parting in wonder as he finally moved back up to your palm, his fingers lacing in yours. You could see the flush on his lower gums, his top jaw scrunching up in a way of pleading.
“…I’m like a moth to a flame” His words were just above a whisper, a pit formed in your lower stomach that nearly had you falling right into the floor.
“What?” Your mind raced, your heart hammering against your chest as your question went unanswered.
Caine brought your hand up to his teeth, his body twisting to be level with you, his eyes glazed over in an all too familiar way.
He gently planted his teeth firmly against your knuckles, warmth blossomed from the kiss, a familiar heat finding its way onto your cheeks as his grip tightened to pull you closer. He planted a kiss with each inch you floated closer.
“Ragatha that doesn’t go there!” Zooble’s hiss brought your gaze behind Caine noticing your two friends completely oblivious to what was happening just a foot away from them.
“Sweetheart…” Caine soft voice left a pleasant chill down your spine, the sudden warmth from your cheeks brought your attention back to him, his hand hooked under your chin to guide you into him.
Your entire heart stopped, feeling the gentle warmth fan across your face from how close he was. His jaw slowly closed as he leaned in, the faint scent of the Stupid Sauce lingered on his tongue. The realization dawned on you too quickly to handle.
This wasn’t right. Not like this.
In a moment of both fear and embarrassment you turned away, pushing yourself away from him. The high making your heart patter roughly against your chest, your hands clenching against your chest to hide away that fact.
“H-Hey! I think I have some pages in my notebook we can fill with bees?!” You were pushing yourself further away quickly, already reaching for the drawer of your dresser.
Caine instantly brightened, it was like he had forgotten what he had just tried to do. His voice still boisterous in a way that was familiar, it was still apparent he was still under the influence of the Stupid sauce.
“What a wonderful idea My dear!” He was quick to change his position to sit onto your bed right beside you, his shoulder gently resting against your own as you scattered colorful pencils and opened a large book filled with your own doodles.
Description: This isn’t some sick escape, this is your new reality and here you aren’t a villain, you’re a victim. Sometimes bottling everything up from your previous life bleeds into the current then explodes into broken memories and assumptions that could be the end of your very existence.
Warnings: angst, past emotional abuse, panic attacks, reader on verge of abstracting, brief mention of Kinger’s wife,
Word count: 2,019
This dream made no sense, one second you’re feeling nothing then the next your emotions are akin to a flame. You spiraled more often than not, it was hard to cope when each second you were tormented by the people around you.
Ragatha wasn’t the worst but she spent so much of her time talking about herself and her problems to even acknowledge that you were falling apart like the seems that made up her ragdoll body. Your ears ringing with each soft word she spoke, her apologies and self loathing make your mind spin.
Zooble stayed back from the adventure, practically screaming to be left alone even from you. Usually they were easier to be around but today must not have been anyone’s day. They were no exception, giving you a quick wave before walking off to be in their own little corner. Your mind was coming up with all these reason they didn’t want to even be in your presence.
Gangle was always sweet, in her own awkward way but even she couldn’t stop your raving thoughts. Sitting with her in silence to draw or talk about mundane things was something you couldn’t handle, your thoughts were forming into black blotches along your vision.
Pomni was always your go to, she was the perfect amount of poking fun, listening and giving advice. Today you didn’t want to be lectured, you couldn’t even handle the voice of her telling you to spend time with the others. She would listen and offer to stay at your side, so you could rest easy but the worrying look made it hurt.
You couldn’t let her see you like this, it’s never been this bad before.
The idea of speaking to Kinger crossed your mind but you knew from your own experience that he was bonkers, spewing nonsense and making things up. His mind split a long time ago, you wondered how he wasn’t practically foaming at the mouth from how long he’s been in here.
You passed by the small pillow fort, deciding to leave it alone. The static erupted just before you could sneak by, the black static engulfing your palm. Your vision blacked out for a second and you had never felt peace in such a small amount of time. The world around you melting in your mind like background noise. You could feel the wave of euphoria wash over you, it was like being at home in the comfort of your covers.
The idea that you wouldn’t have to go on another sickening adventure, deal with being poked fun at, being left alone, being told what you should and shouldn’t do, not disappointing another person. It felt like nothing mattered. You could feel the drowsiness wash over your entire body, your heart strumming a sweet melody to fall asleep too. It’s once rapid pace was now slowing to a near stop, then you felt it.
Your mind swirled awake, all the colors of the rainbow swirling in your vision as you felt the static hold the entirety of your side down.
The soft voice above you was unrecognizable, the sweet nothings reminding you of the boyfriend that led you to this horrible place. And in a haze of worry you tried to push away, your voice breaking with a single question.
“Why can’t you leave me alone?” It was a whisper, his face becoming more recognizable as flashes of the world you once knew exploded in your vision.
Your lovers hands danced through your hair, keeping you from panicking further. His voice was gentle, soft in a way that felt practiced, he was used to this freak out by now. Your raging anxiety choking back the air you tried to breathe, the shaking of your hands as you tried to slow your breathing, his voice being drowned out by the ringing in your ears.
You knew he was annoyed, this had been happening more and more and his only cheap solution was keeping you tied at his side no matter how horrible it got. His anger always rose the longer it prolonged, if anything it knocked your mind away from your crisis, as you hiccuped out an apology.
This digital realm kept you entertained, at least for the most part. Your idea of a beautiful dream to escape from reality was becoming an itching ache in your chest as each day passed, the fact that when your eyes opened you were always met with cartoonish music and your wacky body.
This was never a dream, you knew that now and it scared you that falling to far off the edge would leave you as a mindless monster.
You felt your body stutter, a hand clasped gently under your chin to keep you upright. The rush of heat flooded your body as your worries were becoming materialized, the oxygen you didn’t need was desperately falling from your lips as you inhaled sharply.
Your mismatched swirling eyes landed on the chess piece hovering above you, a fluffy blanket nestled around you like a cocoon. The glitching of your body ceased, the ache disappearing as air rushed to your head.
“You gave me a scare, I’m glad you’re alright. Does anything hurt?” The usual crazed tone you had come to recognize was now silky smooth, itching just the right parts you needed for comfort but it didn’t last long.
“I-I-Yes…” You felt your chest compress under the pressure now that you were being coddled like a child, it was both embarrassing and relieving. “I’m slipping, I can feel it. I know this feeling so well but in here I-I’ll end up never recovering.”
Tears spilled from your cheeks, letting the weight of everything fall from your shoulders in giant waves. Your voice cracked as your hands gripped the blanket further around you, the gentle hum of your glitching body increasing with each word you continued to speak.
“I don’t want to be a burden, everyone today-I couldn’t even tell if I was pushing them away or if they were pushing me away.” You could feel your body spike again from the violent glitches that littered your frame, black blotches appearing once again.
The chess piece that was holding you toward his chest had an unknown look in his soft eyes, wiping away stray tears that littered his robe around your body. You could feel embarrassment beginning to replace your worry, now realizing it wasn’t a blanket and his entire body was uncovered. It felt taboo to see him like this, even though you knew there was nothing to be ashamed of seeing, he was a literal chess piece.
“Is there a reason why?” Kinger brought his hand back to your side, he wasn’t letting you go and you were grateful.
“I wanted to get away from the chaos in my mind but the insults from Jax, the way he found the easiest way to poke at the softest parts of my psyche, the constant reminders in this cartoon body that I really am just a… f###… It just makes it feel like my problems followed me in here.” You hid your face behind his robe, your eyes closed to hide away from the constant wave of tears spilling from your multicolored eyes.
You could see for just a second the anger of your boyfriend flash in your mind, the dull ache in your chest tightening in worry. Not only did you feel bad for roping Kinger into your mess, you also felt anger toward yourself for even letting it get this bad in the first place.
“You’re crazy, I don’t think you care that much about what goes on. I’m honestly jealous…” You hoped he didn’t hear your mumbling but you felt the black static bite into your side, your body reacted by scrunching up further in pain.
You could feel his grip tighten, the sudden burst of pain erupted nearly tearing through the fabric of his robe. Your eyes could see the litter of eyes scattering across your chest and hands, the soft lull of peace entering the back of your mind. The urge to fight was becoming a losing battle, your eyes fluttering shut as the gentle grip against your side shot you awake from the need of sleep.
Kinger had gently set you up in his lap, his gloved hand pushing down the cloth of his plush robe to show your face. His breath hitched but not out of fear or worry, the cluster of eyes on your side making his heart ache in the worst ways possible, the reminder of his wife becoming more prominent the longer he stared. He brought his hand back up to your cheek, ignoring the needle like pricks against his palm and the sensation of his heart skipping a beat.
“I am a bit crazy aren’t I? But it’s not as pleasant as it sounds; I can barely remember her face and I don’t want to forget yours. You’ve made this place a home, a place that doesn’t feel so bad being stuck in. I see the way you care for everyone around you, it’s hard to ignore the way your smile lights up the room and how thoughtful you are. There’s nothing to be ashamed of for having feelings, and with how you are reacting now I would say they were genuine.” Kinger could feel your breath shake, your eyes widening in both shock and worry.
You turned your head away in fear, his hand beginning to glitch in response to having touched your abstracting features. The genuine care you were receiving left you choking back a sob, the recognition you’ve been needing to hear for so long finally coming to rest.
“I just don’t want them to feel the way I do, the way I did. I hate when they’re hurting, sad or upset, I just want them to be happy… except for Jax” You could feel his body shake with a chuckle, your own smile forming. The relief washing over you, finally admitting it out loud felt nice. “I spent so much of my life pleasing everyone that I started to lose sight of my own happiness, and I’m doing it again.”
“You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else, even if you don’t think you are.” Kinger finally let you go, your jagged edges beginning to lessen. He watched you pull away, a small bubble of yearning lingering where your warmth once resided.
You thought it over, adjusting the warmth of the robe before finally deciding you weren’t ready to let go just yet. It had been awhile since you’ve been this vulnerable, maybe it was the fear or nearly abstracting that pushed you to let your anxiety vanish, or the genuine care this side of Kinger had, but all you knew was you were in desperate need of someone who understood you without a mask.
The sudden lunge of a tight hug had Kinger nearly falling back, his quick reaction caught you and himself before you toppled over. His entire body was engulfed in flames, letting himself relax further in relief that you didn’t want to leave.
Your grip tightened around his shoulders, new tears staining his side. The entire world around you drifting away into pleasant silence, the only thing keeping you grounded was the gloved hands patting your back and rubbing circles to comfort you. His words of reassurance and praise drifting into the darkness around you, his pillow fort glowing softly with a light that started to grow brighter with each second. You could feel your own body beginning to smooth out in response, finally relaxing into something you thought would never find you.
Description: A nightmare about your past feels too real, but never fear your favorite boys are there to help.
Warnings: Mentions of blood, SA, Death, Angst,
Word Count: 1,398
A/n: kinda self indulgent cuz I’m always having nightmares
You remember his voice, his face, his touch and that sickening laugh that followed as your body went ablaze. It was supposed to be love, the definition of a happy ending to a miserable life. Your heart ached thinking about his stupid face, those eyes that captured your very breath away and the words that made your stomach burn with butterflies.
His lips were on yours, and his hands didn’t stop. You wanted it, you imagined it many times but your stomach dropped the moment his smile shifted. His gentle grip tightened until your hips burned, his soft voice dropped an octave to a threatening tone.
You didn’t beg for it, you cried for someone to save the last of your innocence.
It happened so fast, his lips drifting down your neck, finding place against your shoulder; the mark left a bruise that didn’t seem to stop aching. Your thighs clenched unwillingly, as he ripped apart your top.
The nights you stayed up reading love stories and imagining a beautiful moment was wasted on someone so low. Deep down you knew this wasn’t what you wanted, at least not like this. Your dream of something soft was tainted by the sharp edges pouring out an amber liquid, that made your teeth clench in pain, you couldn’t get away.
Finally, your chance came when his phone rang, that shitty rap song being your saving grace.
The world spun when blood smeared across your face and hands, the sight of his broken phone scattered across the floor, your belt hanging loosely around his neck. Your vision was blurred as you ran, your legs giving way into an abandoned building from a company that never quite made it off the ground.
You cried for hours in that small office, the creaking and chirp of animals didn’t scare you as much as the lifeless body of someone you thought was more than the scumbags you’ve had the displeasure of loving. His choked screams rang in your ears as your shaking hands cradled your aching head.
His touch lingered on your cold skin as the faintest maddening melody played from down the hall, it was like a lullaby soothing your nerves.
Your feet moved faster than your mind could catch up, your sniffles and sluggish movements following the faint glow on the other side of the hall. Hoping some hellish demon would steal your life away to end the horrible realization you had taken a life.
The old room faintly glowed with all colors of the rainbow, a voice calling out to you like a siren. You weren’t questioning how power worked in this place, your mind too far gone to comprehend your movement in sliding into the rusty chair. Your hands gripping onto the mouse like it was your lifeline, the bubbly atmosphere of a loading screen blinded you for half a second until you clicked play.
The pop up was quick, asking you to put on a headset to be fully emerged in the game. You could feel your vision blur as new tears fell, wanting nothing more than to find some sort of escape from this mental prison.
Your eyes opened quickly, feeling around the space of your bed. The soft warmth of a plush robe sat between your fingers, as your racing heart began to slow.
The hands against your hips made chills fall down your spine in agonizing waves, the grumble from below you grounded your racing thoughts.
That flash of memories never seeming to leave your mind even in a beautiful place where nothing could harm you. Your digital body twisting to pull away from the gloved hands against your body.
Your movement stirred awake the chess piece lying beside your body, his head falling toward the side as his eyes blinked open softly. His usual crazed eyes now held that familiar glint, it was a sign he was truly here with you in the moment.
“Are you alright?” His sleepy voice made that familiar chill run along your neck and ears, your subconscious trying to block out the recurring flashback.
His gaze darted from your quivering lip to your shaking hands and back into your eyes, the sharp inhale from your lungs said enough for him to remove himself from you.
“Love?” His groggy voice filled the silence of the pillow fort, and for a moment your body went cold with fear of being left alone.
You instinctively shrunk, grabbing onto the pillow beside you. The gentle brush of your fingers into the fabric made his gloved hands react quick enough to ground you again. His thumb ran soft circles against your knuckles.
“I didn’t want to wake you…” Your words were broken, not realizing your throat was already closing up.
His eyes softened, your mind already imagining the gentle smile he was giving. Your heart ached at the soft touch of his larger hand swiping away tears you didn’t realize you shed.
“There’s no need to explain yourself, Ladybug.” His hand gave a reassuring squeeze as he reached behind him to pull out a blanket.
You knew that he understood what nightmare seemed to plague your mind, and he knew exactly what you needed even if it meant your scheduled alone time was cut short.
The weighted blanket was tucked around you, his touch gentle as he nestled the pillows in a familiar pattern. The weight already calming your cold sweaty body, and his voice was soft as he called out a familiar name into the space around you.
In an instant a vortex popped into existence, the familiar sound of popping confetti and not so quiet voice rang in your ears.
“Hello my shining daffodils, did you- Oh my.” Caine’s usual straightened posture slouched at the sight of your teary eyes, the familiar blanket and arranged pillows was enough to give hint to what had happened.
His arms instinctively wrapped around your small form, your head nestled in his chest as fresh tears coated his clothes. Your voice trembling as you spoke,
“I-I’m sorry to interrupt your plans for the next adventure…” Your hands shook as you clenched the gloved hand that came up to cradle the side of your face. His mismatched eyes softening as he floated down to sit beside you.
“No need for apologies, you come first over any adventure my dear.” His usual boisterous voice was now low and soothing, his top teeth pressing gently against the top of your head.
Kinger gently guided you back down into the comfort of the nest of pillows, planting himself at the other side of you. Your body instinctively turned, burring your face into the fluff of his robe.
Caine hummed, his finger snapping, the usual dull music shifting to a sweet lullaby as the space filled with the scent of lavender and honey. He knew exactly what you needed, and it made your stomach twist with butterflies how well the two men knew you.
The Ringmaster laid behind you, his arm wrapping snuggling around your torso. Your body finally relaxing into the warmth of the two digital body’s engulfing you.
“It’s alright now Honey. We’re here for you.” Kinger’s voice was just above a whisper, the ghost of a kiss was placed against your tear stained cheek.
Caine’s hand inched up to your forearm, rubbing the area in a comforting grip. His teeth pushed into the back of your head, peppering kissing as he nuzzled into you.
Your heart felt full, the nightmare drifting to the back of your mind. “I don’t deserve you two.”
You could feel your throat tighten at the confession, your lips planting gently against the palm of Kinger’s hand before you pulled up Caine’s to plant a few kisses against the tips of his fingers.
In that very moment the countless love stories flooded in your mind, every single one couldn’t compare to the real thing.
That gentle fluff of sweet nothings you dreamt of finally found you, and all those sleepless nights hoping for a one true love made you realize that two was most definitely better than one.
This digital realm was a living nightmare to most but to you, it was a long time dream come true. It may not have had a happy beginning but you wouldn’t have it any other way, not that you had Caine and Kinger at your side.
Description: You stumbled in on Caine glitching out, takes place at the beginning of episode 8.
Warnings: slight angst, not proof-read, not a slow burn
Word count: 3020
A/N: I still can’t believe he’s gone :(
Thank you for reading my delusions
His voice was booming, your ears ringing from how horrifyingly aggressive he yelled. The sound of fists slamming against a desk was followed soon after as your body pushed up the last few steps.
The set of teeth that floated above you was glitching out of control, not the usual blue screen or familiar glitch, this was stronger, anger practically swirling in the room around you. It was suffocating, like the tension could send your digital body into that unusual body shift when your breath was held.
Your horrified expression dropped into a look of concern, for just a moment you could see the glitching cease, and his pupils widen but just as quickly he turned away from you. It was like he was trying to hide this side of him, like you haven’t seen him glitching before, even though this was definitely the worst you’ve seen it.
“Do you want me to leave?” Your voice came out steadier than you felt, it was almost like this didn’t seem to faze you. It was surprisingly convincing.
Caine didn’t even speak or turn toward you to acknowledge that he heard the question you asked, instead it looked like he sunk further down to the ground. His glitching form began to even out, he was so close to being back to that familiar figure.
“Are you okay?” You took a single step toward the Ringmaster, but you stopped yourself from moving at the sight of his glitching starting all over again. Your heart sank, not wanting to admit to yourself you were a little hurt he genuinely didn’t want you to be at his side.
“I’ll… come back later…” Your voice was just above a whisper as you gave into your fight or flight, deciding it was best to let him cool off before you spoke your own concerns.
You turned back toward the descending stairwell, the echo of your footsteps seemed louder than before. Just as you reached the threshold of his office entrance you could see the walls vibrate with static as they glitched in and out of existence, then a familiar snap came from behind you and in an instant your body was yanked backward into the plush cushions of the green couch right beside his desk.
Your eyes swirled from the dizzying movement, your arms grasping onto the armrest to steady your swirling body. The glitching seemed to stop, the rumbling of the circus ceased as well. You half expected Caine to ask that familiar question he always seemed to ask, but you were met with more deafening silence.
Usually he would come to you if he was feeling even slightly under the weather. You felt the trust you’ve both spent building was nonexistent under the circumstances, like he didn’t want you to know what exactly you walked into. The thought that he was upset with you was becoming an increasing worry of yours.
“If you won’t answer my question, then I’ll sit with you until you’re ready?” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he didn’t seem too bothered by it.
“You know they don’t want to be here. Why keep them when they want to leave you just like everyone else-“ The familiar sight of Bubble appeared beside Caine, and just as quickly he was popped.
Bubbles’ words rang through the quiet room, Caine’s glitching was once again set back into a spiraling motion as his body curled in what you can only guess was anger. At the sight of his shaking shoulders did the reality of the situation set in, and you felt so stupid for not noticing sooner.
You were already standing on your feet before your mind could catch up, the distance between the set of dentures and you disappeared as the palm of your hand touched his shoulder.
Your breath hitched at the sight of tears brimming at the edge of his eyes and falling out the side of his bottom row of teeth. His gloved hand was holding the middle of his bottom jaw as his other hand was planted firmly against his chest.
Caine’s chest was moving rapidly like he was taking deep breaths to calm himself down. The glitching of his body nearly burned the palm of your hand upon contact, you forced yourself through the pain to wrap your arms around his shoulders.
He fell limp into your hold, sinking weightlessly into your arms as he buried his closed jaw into the head of your digital body. You could feel the warm droplets fall onto your temple but they vanish as they landed, like they never existed in the first place.
“Why do they hate me?” The angered tone he had when you first walked in was replaced by a shaky whisper that made your heart shatter.
“Caine, they don’t hate you-“ your words were cut short as he snapped his jaw, the sound of him clamping down as he gritted his teeth.
“I do everything for them! I go out of my way to make these adventures enjoyable, even out of my own comfort zone and all they do is spit in my face!” With each word his anger seemed to rise, and you flinched away from how harsh the static had started to bite back.
Caine stopped, drifting away from you quickly, eyes filled with worry as his hands twitched like he wanted to reach out again but he stopped himself. You could see the concern disappear as sadness took its place.
“And all I do is hurt you. I’m supposed to be better, stronger but I can’t-I don’t-“ Caine sank further into himself, turning away from you once again.
You smiled softly, not that you enjoyed seeing him like this but because he was so caught up in his own head, feeling things he’s still learning to comprehend he felt almost human in this moment. Your heart skipped a beat, this was what you have learned to love about him. He had an ego, sure, but deep down his heart was in the right place even if his actions were questionable.
“You have to understand that they don’t hate you, yes, they’re upset only because of the false hope that you gave them...” You tried to find a way to explain to him what exactly they were feeling, their words still echoing in your mind.
“I gave them an adventure that covered their need for an exit, so why are they upset when I give them what they asked for?!” Caine snapped back at you, his top jaw framing his eyes in a glare as he looked back at you.
He was quick to realize the look he gave you, and reverted back to that kicked puppy look, apologizing in silence as he huffed.
“It’s not as simple as that, it’s not something you can just flaunt in their faces. They have people they miss, experiences. It was our home Caine…” Your eyes darted to the wooden floor, the vague memories replaying in your head. “…I find myself missing it too. I love it here but to be… human… it’s not easy to explain but it was who we were, who we still are. You can’t expect them to forget that.”
You could feel the world around you shake as you finished speaking, the glitching continuing to grow out of control. Your eyes quickly found their way back to Caine, who was now facing you, his expression unreadable. Your heart hammered against your chest as you looked away again, trying once again to explain it.
“Empathy. It’s even a hard thing for humans to understand. You’ve spent your entire existence with the ability to create and craft all of these adventure, but for a second imagine one day you were trapped in a box unable to experience the craft of adventures again. It’s sim-“ Your eyes took a glance at Caine, you half expected him to ignore you but he was now fully facing you, his body seemingly growing in size as the glitching continued.
“You say I don’t have empathy but have you ever thought about how I feel, how what you say and think affects the world I built around you?” His wistfully voice had a hidden meaning that you weren’t sure of.
Your own words caught in your throat, you didn’t have a response. The space between you shortening as his jaw sharpened in another glare, “You have no idea what I feel, how your words make me want to-I don’t care that they hate me.”
“But you just-“ You were once again interrupted, his jaw snapping once again as his teeth ground into a sharp sound.
“I know what I said, but do you realize what you do to me, what you make me want to do!” His words were sharp, directly piercing your heart.
It felt like he was blaming only you for how he was feeling and you felt anger replace the fear and worry you felt. You weren’t going to stand here and take it, you were already sick of everyone telling you to tame him like some animal. They didn’t express their concerns directly to Caine, it was always you sitting between them like a translator.
All you wanted to do was to get away, to spend time with the Ringmaster just to avoid the situation with the others, hoping their words wouldn’t cause you to treat Caine any different but deep down you were so tired of it all. And now even Caine was throwing you under the bus, it felt worse than what the others have said.
“You do not get to talk to me like I’m the one who caused this issue. You think you’re the only one hurting after that adventure you made?” Your voice rose as you were nearly pressing your forehead into Caine’s upper gums. The pain no longer bothered you. “For f### sake, you can alter our minds Caine!? You don’t understand what it’s like to not know that what you’re feeling is real!”
“I already said it was temporary modifiers-I would never-“ Caine had sank away, his anger was quickly replaced with worry. His body went back to his normal size if not smaller.
He nearly tripping over his own desk as you pushed forward stopping him halfway through his sentence, this was the first time he had ever seen you snap. It was intimidating, the fear of your raised voice had his mind spiraling as he sank into his desk.
Your finger pushed against his chest, your body shaking from the adrenaline rush as you held him back against his desk. The tears from your eyes started to burn as you glared down at the Ringmaster, your words falling short of anger.
“How am I supposed to know that’s not a lie?!” You could feel your knees shake, your heart leaping from your throat as the anger slowly dispersed. “How am I supposed to know that-that I really… love you?”
Your confession broke the dam as tears started to slip down your cheeks, “How am I supposed to know that this isn’t just you messing with my-my mind?”
The overwhelming sense of embarrassment set in further as you tried to stop yourself from talking but the words kept spilling out. “You worry so much about the others hating you and leaving, that you don’t even notice that I would abandoned my own life to stay with you, to run through all the adventures you create with a smile on my face…”
Caine’s glitching ceased, if he could describe what you looked like right now it would be beautiful. Your tears, your shaking form, the confession you had just made. It made his nonexistent heart stop, like nothing else seemed to matter but you and him. He wanted so badly to keep denying how you made him feel, but all of these emotions kept surfacing the more he tried to push them back.
“Isn’t that horrible of me… I have friends, family that miss me, yet none of them matter when I’m with you.” Your body finally gave up, your legs giving way as your head fell into Caine’s lap.
You finally let the pent up emotions out, gripping your fist in anger at yourself. The tears didn’t stop flowing as you buried your face into the warmth of him, hoping that he would snap you back into the circus to save you from this embarrassment.
The surprise you felt when his gloved hand lifted your chin was an understatement, your heart lept from your chest as his bottom row of teeth nudged the corner of your cheeks. His tongue lapped away the stray tears on your cheeks before his teeth brushed your lips.
“I’m sorry.” His apology was sincere and just above a whisper as he dusted more kisses along your face, his tongue continuing to pick up the tears that fell.
You didn’t know what to do, your body freezing up in confusion. This had to be a dream, you’ve spent so long convincing yourself an AI couldn’t possibly understand love, yet, here he was proving you wrong once again. You could feel your heart clench in your chest.
“I shouldn’t have said all of that. I’m sorry Caine.” You pulled away from him, the back of your hand wiping away the few tears left.
Caine just sat on his desk, watching you sniffle. This wasn’t how he expected this to go, his previous anger was gone. It felt like that weight had been lifted off of him, maybe the adventure was to see if you would stay, not the others, like a sick commitment test. He felt embarrassed to admit that maybe these new feelings were exactly that, to see if you truly loved and cared for him like he did.
“I never questioned how I felt about you, but everyone has been getting in my head. I was scared that this was all just a ploy to have me convince the other to never leave.” You sat down in his office chair, swiveling left and right as your knee bounced.
Caine nodded his head, looking down at his hands trying to find the right words before he spoke. “I never meant for the abstractions to happen, I thought if I could prolong their happiness then they wouldn’t be miserable. I caused so many to… I didn’t know that I was doing more harm, truly, it was never malicious. I just tried to keep them happy, that’s all it was.”
You looked up at his mismatched eyes, finding only sorrow. The thought of everyone who had abstracted, chasing that exit, being unpleasant, making everyone miserable around them. It all kind of made sense, in a weird way. You ran your hands along your thighs, your palms felt sweaty from your previous actions.
“Sometimes there’s nothing you can do, but it’s not okay to just alter someone’s mind, adventure or not.” You looked down at your hands, the shaking didn’t stop. Your mind was clear but your stomach was doing flips like you were going to vomit.
“Am I really the cause for all these issues lately?” You swallowed the lump in your throat, the tears already wanting to spill over again, but you held your gaze on him. Your heart was skipping a beat as his eyes looked from you to the ground, avoiding your gaze, and for a moment you thought it was true.
“I suppose the answer would be yes.” Caine ran his gloved hand over his chest, then it hooked on his lower jaw. You almost burst into tears again just before he spoke again. “I made an adventure to cater to everyone, to see if they would stay, but it occurred to be that it was to see if you would.”
His jaw closed, hiding away his eyes as his arms crossed over his chest. You knew that expression all too well, it had your head spinning again.
“You know I don’t want to leave, but creating an adventure to test if them or I want to leave isn’t the best way to go about it.” You felt a smile creep on your face as his jaw opened slightly, eyeing you up and down. His expression was still unreadable since his jaw was not moving in the slightest. “I’ve told you countless times it’s good to cycle through slow and fast pace adventures, even if it’s a suggestion… you bring it to life, isn’t that enough to stroke your ego?”
Caine hummed, nodding along to your words. Then his top jaw scrunched up in worry, the world rumbling at his sudden epiphany. “Will they even want to go on any adventures? I’m sure they most definitely hate me now.”
“They don’t hate you, they just need space. I would suggest an apology, an actual apology.” You placed your hand over his, squeezing reassuringly.
“As long as you’re there with me.” His words fell without him realizing, “I mean-of course you’re going to be there!”
He snapped his jaw closed quickly, hiding behind his teeth again as his gums dusted a brighter red. It was adorable.
You stood without a second thought, pressing a kiss against the middle of his teeth. The kiss didn’t last long, no matter how much you wanted it too. You reluctantly pulled away only for Caine’s gloved hands to cup your face and pull you back in, instead of pushing his teeth into your lips, his tongue licked the entirety of your face almost like a dog.
You laughed aloud, as his teeth finally pressed gently against your lips then a familiar sound of him blue screening was all you needed as confirmation.
A/N: The happy ending to “VORE” I promised! Reworked and probably horribly written but at least it’s a happy ending.
Thanks for reading :)
The colorful world that you have come to call home was bathed in dull hues of white, grey and black. The usual soft melody of background music nonexistent as it was now a constant ringing that had your ears burning.
There was a sinking filling growing alongside the rapid beat of a heart that didn't seem to exist. Fear, like you were pray. Your anxiety began to spike as the corridor seemed to go on for miles, with no end in sight.
You tried to call out to the other circus dwellers, but with each name called the more your throat seemed to burn. The echo of your words carried along, almost like it was taunting you for being left behind. A nagging feeling crawled along your neck, the usual watchful eyes didn't seem as comfortable as they once did, instead another knot began to coil in the pit of your stomach that nearly made you gag.
With each step, the void seemed to echo, your knees nearly giving way from how long you had been walking. You stopped to hear the faintest sound of voices and screams, and when you looked around all you were met with was the rapidly growing darkness surrounding you.
For a spit second you could see the outline of a familiar red door, the exit screaming at you to be free and instead of walking toward it you could feel it dawn on you that the others weren't missing, they must have found a way to leave. The weight of being abandoned dropped you to your knees, their faces becoming blurred as static began to form along the left side of your face.
Your tears began to pool at the corners of your eyes, the gnawing sensation in the back of your mind finally breaking way as the void seemed to swallow you whole. But just as the threshold of abstraction broke you were yanked from your mind at the familiar sound of fingers snapping.
The relief you felt was immense, the jagged edges smoothed back down to your digital body. The worry you felt nearly vanished realizing you weren't alone anymore. Maybe they didn't leave.
"C-Caine?!" Your voice cracked calling out to your significant other, yet, the usual boisterous response you received was met with deafening silence.
The sound of a dragging bag could be heard around you, the faintest metallic smell hitting your senses nearly making you vomit from the intensity. You could hear the sound of tearing fabric and loud sounds of gulping and teeth gnashing.
"Caine? Please answer me, where are the others?" Your vocals trembled at the rush of adrenaline coursing through your body, your flight or fight kicking in overdrive.
Once again you were met with silence, the sounds seeming to echo in the space around you. Your eyes scanned the area once more only to see the faintest flow of eyes disappearing in the distance. Your heart skipped and before your mind could catch up with your body, you were already sprinting down the hallway.
You could hear that familiar dragging sound closing in on you, your screams never leaving your throat before hands grabbed at your shoulders pulling you into the surrounding darkness.
Your body burned at what felt like rope being tied around your limbs, keeping you in place as you thrashed to set yourself free. A familiar glint of eyes flashed in front of you before circling behind you.
You screamed in terror, only to be cut off by a hand wrapping around your throat choking away your scream. The fabric of the hand felt familiar, eerily so.
The silent space began to fill with huffs from behind you, the hot air burning the back on your neck and body. It was horrifying to realize that the need for air was becoming more and more apparent.
The tears from earlier came back, the pounding of your heart growing as the tears flowed like water. Your choked sob and call for Caine was the moment the gloved hand retracted, finding a place against the middle of your chest.
"So fragile" A glitchy voice from your right side made your flinch back in fear, the usual happy feeling you felt at the ringmasters voice was long gone.
You didn't realize that he could breathe as his warm sigh fanned across your neck and ear, the heat tingled against your cold figure as you twitched from the suddenness.
"Caine..." You called out the his name again, only to feel his maw brush against the side of your head then the rough edge of his teeth pressing gently against the bottom of your earlobe. "W-Why are you doing this?"
"You can't leave me." His breath pushed inside your ear as you tried to sink away only to be pulled back into him. "None of you will."
You could feel his tongue spring forth and slither across the entirety of your ear just before his teeth clamped against the entirety of your ear before bitting down roughly. Your wail of pain seemed to make him stop only for a moment.
"What did you do to them!" Your voice came out less threatening, and more like begging. The faintest shock came from your ear as drool began to drip down the side of your face. "P-please, stop this..."
The sound of tearing fabric and metallic smell came rushing back, the teeth against your ear disappearing as the faintest glow from afar lit up the dark room around you. And through the haze of it all you could see blood trailing around the room, pools and pools of it streaming down the walls and across furniture.
"They wanted to leave and I couldn't let that happen." You could hear the hoarse of his breathing, each breath in was wavering and each breath out was heavy as his tongue dove beneath your chin and swiped against your lips and cheek before brushing along your neck. "You my dear, will stay with me forever."
Then, you felt it, his teeth digging into your shoulder and neck at the same time. Your breath hitched as his canines dug into your digital body, his teeth lining with a pool of warmth that erupted along your entire right side.
"No. No." The realization dawned on you as scattered pieces of your friends were littered along the edge of the walls, evident teeth marks in each piece. You closed your eyes on instinct, not wanting to remember them like this. "You're horrible, y-you're-"
Your whole body buzzed on the bring of abstraction once again, the horror they must of felt and the screams for help were all in vein as they were torn to pieces.
"Isn't this what you promised, to stay with me forever?" The familiar snap sounded below you, and for just a moment your eyes opened to see the rope you were tied with was the elongated limbs of the ringmaster.
"You must understand..." Blotches of red and black mixing together on his clothes and gloved hands, the static of black disappeared from the left side of your body again.
You could feel his tongue lap up the crimson draining from the incisions of his canines. His body began shaking slightly as another long sigh doused your shoulder and neck. Even as his tongue moved his teeth seemed to clamp down harder, so painfully hard that you felt as if he would bite a chunk of you right off.
"...dnatsrednu ot si tae oT." His voice was etched in glitch and static, the reverse of his praise, his yearning went unspoken as he clamped his jaw more firmly against you, tightening the hold of his long arms to keep you from thrashing away.
You could feel tears streaming down your cheeks as your entire right side was now numb, the distinct crunch of bone and torn flesh could be heard echoing through the blood stained room.
Your gasped echoed in the room around you, the rapid beat of your heart drummed in your ears. Your body sprang from out of your bed as you landed harshly against the carpet, the world spun as you inhaled and exhaled quickly to calm yourself down.
You could feel the warmth of reality hit you, the scent of lavender lingering on your nose as you looked around your spacious room. The echos of the dream still sat longingly in your mind like the circus itself wasn't a nightmare in of itself.
"Are you alright my dear?" The sleepy voice from your bed made your heart nearly drop out of your ass.
As you looked up, Caine was already floating inches from your face, his jaw was open as his eyes scanned your face in worry. You screamed in fright, backing away quickly and slamming your entire back into your dresser. Items clattered to the floor as your eyes swirled in confusion as your concussed state made you fall onto your back.
"Oh heavens, my love!" The static that his voice was in your dream, was now soothing, comforting and laced with worry.
It still felt sickening to even think that your mind could come up with something so untrue about your significant other, and that realization made your throat tighten and your eyes burn with tears. Your hands were already coming up to cover your face to hide the tears that leapt from your eyes, but it didn't go unnoticed.
"Are you hurt?!" His voice was nearly an octave higher than it usually was, it nearly snapped you out of crying if it wasn't for the fact his gloved fingers were already swiping away the stray tears.
You could feel him lift you into his hold, his hands finding place against your back as he examined your digital body for injuries. It was funny that he was even concerned, you both knew it was nearly impossible for you to get hurt or even bruised.
Caine could feel your shoulders shake as your soft giggle filled the room, relief washing over him but a tinge of concern was still felt as he looked across your body one last time.
That nightmare had nothing on the sweetest AI you knew, and that's all it was, was a nightmare nothing more nothing less. You hated being scared of your boyfriend but this was still a world that your mind had a hard time adjusting too, but it was nice to finally be awake.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tugging yourself closer to his chest to bury your face in his warmth. The familiar thought that a nightmare could feel to real in an unreal digital world had your heart beat increase once again. You could still feel the clamp of his jaw against your side but you ignored it as best as you could like you always did.
"I'm alright, love. I just had a nightmare." You could feel him stiffen as you pressed your tear stained face into the underside of his gums.
His hands found your hips, grounding you further into reality and for a moment it was nothing but your soft sniffles to stop the tears and the faintest melody that played during the night. You thought maybe he had fallen back into rest mode but when you pulled away to look at him, his gloved had pressed you back down into his chest.
"It was me, wasn't it. The same nightmare you seem to always have." Caine's voice was soft as he nuzzled his head into yours, still finding it unnerving that you had nightmares of him no less.
You inhaled sharply, turning away not wanting to confirm that it was indeed the same dream you had once you first joined the circus, the same dream you seem to have when life in the circus was getting a bit to overwhelming.
Caine knew your silence was the answer, and it nearly shattered his nonexistent heart. He knew he would never do such a thing but it frightened him what the human mind could conjure up, no matter how unrealistic it seemed.
"I'm sorry, Starlight. Do you-do you need some time alone?" He could feel his code glitch at the thought of you wanting space from him, and he certainly didn't want to give it to you but he's come to learn that space wasn't you giving up on him.
You thought for a moment, not really sure if you needed space or to be with someone else for a awhile. Deep down you knew it would help but the thought of being alone or having to talk to someone about a nightmare of your boyfriend, even for a few seconds, was horrifying. The dream felt too real, wandering those halls alone for so long and thinking you were abandoned, it wasn't something you wanted to experience right after waking up.
"Thank you for asking but I think I want you right here, if that's okay?" Your voice was soft as you pulled away to look into the mismatched eyes of the ringmaster, and you swore for a second he blue screened.
"Of course, my love." Caine was quick to lay you both back onto your bed, his gloved fingers snapped to put everything back in place that you dropping just before they began tracing small shapes into your shoulder and back.
You laid in silence, your heart slowing down and your body finally void of that itching static that burned your skin. The hand you had on his chest moved instinctively to the underside of his gums, turning his jaw to face you. His eyes held a question as you looked into them, and for just a second you saw the flash of his sharp teeth the same ones from your nightmare but instead of backing away like your nerves begged you pushed yourself forward.
Your lips met the bottom of his middle teeth, fighting back against your fears and sinking further into him. The nightmare felt real, yes, but you knew deep down that Caine would never intentionally hurt you. The Caine that you met when you arrived is not the Caine that was deepening the kiss, as he jaw unclenched to look at your closed eyes.
You opened your eyes to look up at him, and he immediately snapped his jaw shut the familiar red hue fanning across his teeth in a blush. Your smiled was felt against his teeth as you pulled away, pecking the side of his gums.
"I love you." Your voice was above a whisper as you laid back onto his chest, and instead of receiving a response you were met with that familiar sound of him blue screening.
Description: Falling in love with a manic AI leaves much to be desired
Warnings: Episode 8 of TADC, angst,
Word count: 1058
I really loved Ep.8 and I enjoy angst even more! It is one of my best forms of writing and also my worst.
Enjoy.
“This needs to stop! You need to stop!” Your hand lifted to point an accusing finger at the floating man in front of you.
The entirety of the last day had your head spiraling on the brink of what felt like losing your sanity, the edge tilting closer and closer as your limbs buzzed with static, like abstraction was the only way to rid yourself of this feeling of betrayal.
This circus, the adventures, the people, the ringmaster were once a comfort that you came to genuinely enjoy. The point between coping and feeling at home became a blurred line that should have never been crossed or intertwined.
You felt like you lost everything but found your place all in the same, finding more and more reasons to appreciate the smallest things around you. The fear and adjustments felt like a distant memory compared to the new found love and family you’ve created here in this digital world.
The love felt like a dream, a dream you never wanted to wake from. His words, his touch the walls he unknowingly built crumbling at your mere existence to give you everything your human heart desired. You cradled his insecurities, each doubt and fear he had with gentle ease, chasing away the nightmares that plagued him.
He was changing for the better, he was making progress in understanding human emotion. The way his compassion grew even for someone as evil as Jax and as stubborn as Zooble. He created worlds that brought everyone calm tranquility that hadn’t been felt in a long time, a time that felt like a distant memory now.
You shared the deepest parts of yourself with the very being that could turn you into mush at a snap of his fingers and wave of his hand. Those same hands that traced circles against your cheek, and lifted your chin to look up into those heterchromatic eyes that left butterflies lingering in the pit of your stomach.
He was almost human then, giving into temptations not even you knew he was capable of. Not even lust but genuine care and worry for someone besides himself, it could even be considered love.
You loved Caine, more than anyone could pry from you and this realization hurt more than words could describe. You loved a computer program, an artificial intelligence made by man. This love was doomed from the start.
You looked into the eyes of your lost Lover, the eyes that were once soft and caring were now confused, heartbroken, angry. You could feel your chest tighten as you blurted out your confession blinded by your own broken heart.
“Did it mean nothing to you? Was what we had fake? Was it an act to find some sense of control, to manipulate me to get to everyone else?” Your tears sprang from the corner of your eyes before you could control it, anger beginning to rise to dull out the shatter of your fragile heart.
“It’s not-I never meant to-Starlight I-“ Caines voice came out frantic, his body glitching to fight off whatever it is he felt.
“I can’t believe I let you use me like some tool. You’re horrible, you’re-you’re insufferable!” You didn’t let him finish, your heavy tears falling down your cheeks as you cupped your hand to your chest. Your words were deafening compared to the ache burning into your very soul as the words left your mouth without even thinking.
“I hate you.” Just as those three words left your mouth regret settled in soon after, everything slammed into place at once and reality shot right through your already shattered moral.
You were pulled into a pool of water, drifting deeper and deeper into the cool depths. The sound of muffled voices rang in your water filled ears, screams finding place in your head. Your eyes focused on the ripple of water above you, the small figure sinking close enough to touch. It was Caine, sinking alongside you.
All the exciting and beautifully loving moments you once shared were now a dull ache in the back of your mind. His gloved hand reached for you, and that longing fell into that small pit in your heart wanting nothing more but to recuperate the familiar gesture.
You opened your mouth to ask where it went wrong but just as quickly as you wanted to speak your lungs were filled with the ocean water. Instinctively you reached forward, your finger tips grazing the tips of his gloved hands.
In an instant you were yanked from the ocean by that familiar gloved hand, the rapid pace sent you in a daze that had your heart nearly leap out your chest. The collision of the wall didn’t help as your brain tried to comprehend the situation at hand, the streaks of red and elongated limbs hazing together in anger you had never seen before.
“C-Caine.” Your voice was strained, pain and heart ache laced in the last call of his name.
An apology dripping from your lips far too late, as he reverted back to his original form. His eyes finding you quickly, and just like before his hand out stretched as his voice waved in fear and realization.
“W-Wait.”
And just like that he was gone as well as the world around you, a world that he created from nothing like the adventures he allowed you to experience him conjure up in the silence of his office.
You were frozen in place, your knees giving way clutching onto whatever was left of the checkered floor. The flash of his expression replayed in your head, all the memories flooding back faster than you can keep up with.
The clatter of metal brought you back to reality, the sight of the chess piece making his way back to the group was enough to make your throat tighten further. His expression grim with worry as he looked into your eyes with a hidden apology.
“I might have killed Caine.” his words filled the choking silence quicker than you could comprehend it.
Everything moved so fast, your hiccups and wails following right after he spoke. Your last words ringing in your ears as the silence broke with your cries, the reality set in that he was gone thinking you hated him.
An A.I. and human relationship was always doomed from the start.
🫦 based on this ask but I definitely diverted from the main plot
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: You thought you were just his fling. He thought you were his girl. Then you overheard Steve teasing Bucky about his legendary skills in the bedroom—particularly his mouth. Bucky gets flustered. You get curious. A week later, he proved he’s still got it.
The compound was quieter than usual, the aftermath of a long mission settling in like a low, collective exhale. Somewhere in the common kitchen, someone clinked a glass. Distant laughter floated through the hall—probably Sam or Clint. But in the softly lit entertainment room, it was just you and Bucky. Again.
You’d flopped onto the couch hours ago after sparring, half-watching a movie you’d already forgotten the name of. Bucky had joined a little later, tucking himself into the corner of the cushions, red henley hugging the bulk of his arms, the silver glint of his metal arm catching the TV’s light like a low hum in your peripheral.
You hadn’t meant to end up in his lap. Again.
But like always, his palm was already on your waist when you slid over—grounding, warm despite the chill of the metal. His thighs were spread wide beneath you, relaxed and solid, and your legs naturally draped on either side like they belonged there. You leaned into him. He didn’t stop you. He never did.
It had been like this for weeks now. Maybe months.
Long after the dust from the whole Civil War mess had started to settle, you and Bucky had slipped into something wordless. Something sacred. You didn’t know what to call it—it didn’t feel right calling it just friends. Not when you could still feel the way he’d kissed you that first night after the team’s barbecue. The way he’d held you still while your hips rocked against his, slow and aching. Not when your heart stuttered every time he looked at you with that tired, hungry softness that made your skin burn.
The first kiss had been a dare. A stupid, tipsy game where someone dared Bucky to kiss you and no one—no one—had expected him to actually do it.
But he did.
He cupped your face with his warm hand, looked you in the eye, and kissed you like he’d been holding that breath in since 1943. And from then on… something shifted.
Now, he’d let you straddle him during quiet movie nights. His jaw would clench when your hips moved just right. You’d feel him through his jeans, thick and hard under you, and he’d groan—deep and strangled like he was holding something back. He’d mouth at your neck, hands gripping your waist, but it never went further than that. Never inside. Never under the clothes.
And you told yourself it was fine. You told yourself maybe this was just how it was going to be—this undefined, lusty thing. You told yourself it was better than nothing. Because it was Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. The man women used to whisper about back in the 40s—the charmer with the bedroom eyes and silver tongue. You’d heard the rumors. Everyone had.
And you? You were just… you.
He could have anyone. And maybe you were just the convenient body he used to push those urges away—a warm lap to grind into, a mouth to kiss when the nights got too long. You didn’t know how to ask for more. You were terrified that if you tried, he’d pull away.
Meanwhile, Bucky? Bucky thought you were his. Fully.
He thought you’d been his since the second time you kissed him—the night you’d curled into his lap after patrol and whispered “I missed you” like it meant more than just the day. And it had killed him not to touch you deeper, not to give you everything he had. But he remembered what you said at that same team barbecue, right after everyone settled down with their beers and ribs. Someone had joked about hook-ups and you, ever soft-spoken, had laughed shyly and said:
“I’m a little old school. I don’t really go all the way unless it’s someone serious… like, serious-serious.”
And Bucky? Bucky was from the actual old school. Back in the 40s, that meant one thing—you waited until you were married. And if you were the kind of woman who saved yourself for that, then goddammit, he wasn’t going to be the reason you’d break that promise.
So he held back. Every time your body writhed against his. Every time he could smell your arousal through your leggings. Every time he had to clench his jaw and bury his face in your neck just to keep from coming in his pants.
He never touched himself after. Not once.
Didn’t jerk off to the thought of you, even though he ached to.
Because he wanted all of it—all of you—the right way.
He thought the wait would be worth it.
He just didn’t know you were waiting for him to want you at all.
—
The late afternoon sun cast warm streaks of gold across the compound, tinting the walls and windows with lazy amber light. You’d just wrapped up training and were headed toward the balcony, drawn by the familiar sound of laughter—two deep voices rolling over each other in low, nostalgic waves.
Steve and Bucky.
You slowed your steps as you approached, the soft creak of your boots masked by the breeze curling in through the open doors. They hadn’t noticed you yet, and you paused just beyond the archway, hidden by the sliding glass panel, your eyes flicking over to them instinctively.
They were seated side by side on the wide balcony bench, drinks in hand—Bucky with his legs spread in that casual, careless way, grey shirt pulled tight across his chest, silver arm draped over the backrest. Steve had a glass of something dark balanced in his grip, laughing into it.
“Alright, Buck. Be honest with me,” Steve said, nudging Bucky’s boot with his own. “How’s everything with you and her?”
Bucky shifted a little, his jaw tensing as he looked down at the drink in his hand.
You froze, breath catching. Her? You?
He didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice was soft, but sure.
“We’re doing just fine.”
Steve scoffed. “Just fine? Buck, come on. That’s not enough.”
Bucky chuckled under his breath, but there was a flicker of tension in the movement—like he was trying to ease discomfort off his shoulders. He rubbed his thumb along the curve of his glass and glanced sideways at Steve.
“I don’t think I should be talking about her when she’s not here,” he muttered. “That wouldn’t feel right.”
You blinked. Your chest tightened. He was talking about you like—
Steve laughed again, all good-natured and clueless. “God, you haven’t changed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bucky asked, arching an eyebrow, but the corners of his mouth twitched.
“You remember the 40s?” Steve leaned back, the bench creaking under his weight. “Every girl at the bar was looking past me, and straight at you. I couldn’t get a date to save my damn life. You? You walked in and the whole room turned to jelly.”
Bucky snorted, tipping his head back with a sigh. “Yeah, well. That was before the serum. Before your fan club started.”
Steve smirked. “Oh, how the tables have turned, huh?”
Bucky gave him a look—part fond, part annoyed—but didn’t deny it.
Then Steve added, with a smirk far too knowing:
“You know, I still remember the rumors. I wasn’t supposed to hear most of ‘em—but you know how dames talk when they’ve had one too many.” He grinned into his glass. “Word was, anyone who got lucky enough to sleep with Sergeant Barnes left with their legs shaking.”
Bucky groaned immediately. “Jesus, Stevie—”
“No, no, wait—my favorite was the one who said you had a magic mouth,” Steve continued, delighting in the way Bucky tried to sink into himself. “Swore you knew exactly what to do down there. Said it was like being—what was it—worshipped?”
Your heart skipped. What?
You stepped out, your voice too curious for your brain to catch up.
“Wait… Bucky was that good with girls?”
Both men looked up fast. Bucky flinched like he’d just been smacked with a brick.
“Shit,” he muttered, straightening up immediately, his metal fingers tightening around his glass. “How long’ve you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” you said, fighting a grin as you stepped toward them, trying to sound innocent even though your pulse was sprinting. “I didn’t know you had a magic mouth, Bucky.”
Steve glanced between you and Bucky, the corner of his mouth twitching with the kind of subtle amusement only a best friend could pull off.
“Well,” he said, rising from the bench with smooth ease, “I’ll leave you two to talk.”
He set his glass down on the ledge, adjusted the sleeves of his shirt with practiced calm, and gave Bucky a pointed look that only made the other man shrink deeper into his seat.
Then, with a polite nod to you, he added,
“Try not to give him too hard a time, huh?”
And with that, Steve turned and walked back inside—composed, quiet, and absolutely smirking.
The silence he left behind was scorching.
Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, his skin already turning crimson beneath the ends of his hair. His silver fingers tapped against the railing like he couldn’t decide whether to escape over it or just melt into a puddle where he stood.
“That, uh… that wasn’t exactly how I wanted that to come up,” he muttered, eyes fixed on the floor.
You leaned next to him, arms crossed, brow arched just slightly. “You never told me you had a reputation.”
He groaned. “God. It was blown way out of proportion, I swear.”
“Oh?” you tilted your head, pretending to think. “So you didn’t make girls’ legs shake?”
Bucky winced. Practically folded into himself.
“I mean—maybe a few,” he muttered. “But not like that. It wasn’t… Jesus, they made it sound like I slept with the whole borough. I didn’t. I wasn’t like that.”
You tried not to smile. “The whole borough, huh?”
His head jerked toward you, eyes wide. “Wait—are you… are you mad?”
“What? No,” you said quickly, brows lifting.
“You sure?” he asked again, more desperate now. “Because I never—look, I wasn’t just screwing around back then, okay? I didn’t sleep with that many people. And I haven’t been with anyone since and I’m not—I mean, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Your breath caught for a second. But you didn’t say anything.
Because your brain was not registering any of that.
Not the panic in his voice. Not the low, sincere way he said to you like it meant something.
All you could think about was what Steve said.
Legs shaking. Worship. Magic mouth.
You were still stuck on that phrase like a scratch on a record.
You let a beat pass. Just long enough to watch the flush creeping up his neck, the nervous dart of his eyes, the way he seemed to be running through every decision he’d ever made since 1943.
“I just didn’t know you were into that,” you said lightly, brushing invisible lint from your sleeve like you hadn’t just learned something that would haunt you tonight in your sheets.
Bucky shifted uncomfortably, clearly spiraling. “I—I didn’t mean for that to sound like I was bragging or anything. I don’t know where Steve heard that stuff. I mean, yeah, I used to, but not—It wasn’t like I slept around. I didn’t. I swear I never—”
“Bucky,” you cut in gently, offering a little smile. “It’s really okay.”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You nodded once, calm and even. “No hard feelings.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, apologize again, dig his way out of a guilt hole he didn’t even need to be in. But you didn’t give him the chance.
You stepped back toward the door, glancing at him over your shoulder.
“I’ll see you at dinner.”
And then you slipped inside, perfectly composed.
—
Your expression didn’t crack until you turned the corner, heat blooming across your face like a slow, wicked fire.
He used to love it.
He might still be good at it.
He thinks you’re mad about his past… and you’re just thinking about his mouth between your legs.
You pressed your hand against the wall, heart thundering.
Now all you needed was the right moment.
The right excuse.
Something casual. Natural.
Just a little something to get James Buchanan Barnes on his knees.
—
You kept your distance for six days.
Six entire, aching days.
Dinner that night? You smiled. Ate. Laughed with Sam. Passed the mashed potatoes like nothing had changed. Bucky sat across from you, silent and painfully upright, like he was ready for a cross-examination that never came.
The next day? You greeted him with a nod in the hallway. Kept your tone even, your posture casual. Bucky watched you like a man waiting for the world to fall out from under him.
And the day after that? You brushed past him near the weapons locker, arm grazing his on accident—only to duck into the training room before he could open his mouth.
He kept trying. Eyes lingering, mouth parting every time he got you alone for even a second. But you never gave him the space.
Because what were you supposed to say?
Hey, Bucky. You want to eat my cunt sometime? Because I’ve been thinking about it for many nights and I’m dangerously close to humping the corner of my pillow just to cope?
Yeah, no.
So you waited. And stewed. And tried not to fantasize.
But your body had other plans.
By day six, your hormones had you spiraling. You caught yourself grinding your thighs together during debriefing. Sweating during sparring. Biting your lip when Bucky scratched his jaw and muttered something under his breath, not even directed at you.
Day seven, you cracked.
Over lunch, with the team distracted, you leaned close to him—so casual—and said,
“Come to my unit after dinner.”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
You nodded, eyes steady. “Just for a bit.”
And that was all it took.
—
He showed up at your door just past nine. Dressed down in a fitted black tee and dark sweats. Hair tucked behind his ears. Smiling.
Not smirking. Not flirty. Just… happy.
You didn’t know it yet, but he thought this was a date. A real one. The first of many.
You let him in and made small talk. Let him sit on the couch like always. Let him pull you into his lap the way he always did when it was just the two of you and there was nowhere else you’d rather be.
Then you kissed him.
Slow. Familiar. But deeper.
His hands came to your thighs, dragging up under the hem of your oversized shirt as your knees bracketed his hips. He groaned softly into your mouth when you rolled against him—pressing down, grinding slow and needy right into the heat of his lap.
Then he froze.
You could feel it. The shift. The exact moment he realized there was nothing between you and his pants. No shorts. No panties. Just your bare, wet cunt dragging over the thick line of his cock through cotton.
Bucky broke the kiss, his hands halting on your thighs.
His voice came out hoarse.
“Doll… are you—are you not wearing anything?”
You blushed, chest rising slowly. “No.”
His eyes widened, hand clenching against your skin. “Since when?”
“Since before you got here.”
“Jesus,” he whispered, like it physically hurt him.
You pressed your forehead against his. Voice trembling now, but not from nerves.
“I’ve been thinking about it. Ever since Steve said that thing on the balcony.”
His brows lifted. “About… my mouth?”
You nodded. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
You shifted your hips again. Let him feel the wet drag of your folds against his cock. He sucked in a sharp breath, hands locking tighter on your waist.
“Baby,” he rasped, “are you sure this is what you want? Not just—y’know, ‘cause you’re upset or… jealous or—”
That was the moment it snapped. The misunderstanding, the buried truth, the weeks and months of aching.
Your brow furrowed.
“Jealous? Bucky, I don’t have any right to be jealous. We’re not… together.”
He blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean we’re just…” You swallowed. “I thought we were just fooling around. Friends with benefits or something.”
His face went still.
“Wait,” he said. “You thought that’s what we were?”
You nodded slowly.
“I thought we were dating,” he said quietly. “I thought we were just taking it slow. You said at the barbecue that you’re traditional. I figured that meant you were saving sex until… marriage or something.”
You stared at him, lips parting. “I—no. I just didn’t want to sleep with someone who didn’t take me seriously.”
Bucky’s mouth hung open for a second. Then he let out a short, breathless laugh—somewhere between disbelief and relief.
“We’re idiots,” you said, and started laughing too.
He buried his face in your neck and laughed along with you, arms wrapping tighter around your waist.
“You’ve been my boyfriend this whole time without me even knowing?” you teased.
He pulled back, brushing his nose against yours. “Guess that makes it official now.”
“Good,” you whispered. “Because now you’ve got even more reason to go down on me.”
His lips parted. You kissed him before he could speak.
—
What followed wasn’t fast.
It wasn’t wild.
It was reverent.
Bucky laid you back on the couch like you were made of silk and starlight, one hand supporting your back while the other guided your thighs open. He settled between them like it was where he was always meant to be—kneeling, breath shaky, eyes dark.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, thumbing along the inside of your knee. His voice was low. Full of awe.
You reached for him—but he kissed your thigh instead. Then again. And again. Slow, warm, deliberate. His stubble scraped lightly along your skin, the contrast enough to make you squirm, already sensitive from the slow grind you’d shared minutes before.
“Easy, baby,” he murmured. “Just wanna take my time with you. You deserve that.”
Then he ducked lower.
And when he pressed his tongue to your cunt—broad and unhurried—it felt like the world melted into heat and wet and sound. You gasped, hips twitching, fingers curling into the couch cushions.
Bucky moaned into you. Actually moaned.
“God, you taste like fucking honey,” he rasped, licking another slow, deliberate stripe between your folds. “So sweet, baby. Dripping for me.”
He dragged his tongue through your slick again, groaning like the taste alone could undo him. And then he slurped—an unashamed, filthy sound that made your eyes roll back.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, voice thick and desperate. “Can’t believe I waited this long.”
His tongue circled your clit—steady, patient, focused. Then he sucked. A low, wet pull that sent shockwaves down your spine. You cried out, thighs shaking already, but Bucky didn’t stop. He wrapped his lips around that swollen bud and sucked again, swirling his tongue in small, practiced motions like he’d studied every curve, every pattern of how your body trembled for him.
“I knew you’d be perfect,” he breathed. “So fucking soft. So warm. Look at this pussy, baby. Look how wet she is for me.”
You whined, head thrown back, chest heaving—and he didn’t let up.
He licked you like it was his only purpose. Like he’d spent years thinking about this. Dreaming of this. His tongue flicked quick, then slow, then down—dipping into your entrance, fucking in and out with soft, rhythmic strokes that made your back arch off the couch.
“Oh my god—Bucky—”
“That’s it,” he groaned. “Let me hear those pretty sounds. You don’t even know what you’re doing to me, baby. Feels like I’m high off this fucking pussy.”
You could hear how wet it was. The obscene, slick sounds of his tongue lapping, his lips sucking, the gentle stubble burn brushing your inner thighs with every move. He kept you wide, kept you steady, like he didn’t want to miss a second—like this was something sacred to him.
And when your thighs started to tremble, when your hips bucked once—twice—he held you still with a firm grip of his metal hand on your stomach.
“Let go, sweetheart,” he whispered, licking up your slit with one slow, heavenly stroke. “Let me feel you fall apart.”
And you did.
You shattered.
Came hard. Loud. Thighs clenching around his head while he groaned and kept sucking, kept licking through it, pushing you higher until your whole body was shaking.
He didn’t stop. Not until he pulled a second orgasm from you with nothing but his mouth and your name falling from his lips like praise.
When he finally eased up—mouth slick, lips swollen, beard shining with your release—he kissed your thighs again. Tender. Adoring. Like he still wasn’t done worshipping you.
Then he climbed up your body, settling over you slowly, his hands gentle where they cradled your hips.
His forehead pressed to yours. He was smiling—dazed and soft and breathless.
A/n: I posted this on Wattpad a week or two ago and forgot to post it here! That’s mb, don’t hate me lol
Description: I live for angst, and this is going to be just a short few parts where reader rejects Adam's advances but slowly find themselves being hit with the realization that they do indeed harbor feelings; although, not as strongly, but they were beginning to grow.
Warnings: NONE OF THESE ARE PROOFREAD, mentions of canonical deaths, canonical violence, swearing, reader fell for Steve Rogers, alcohol consumption, kidnapping, Adam hurts reader, unethical experiments, animal abuse, vague hint of sexual thoughts, Rocket may or may not have feelings for reader, way too many near death experiences, mentions of infertility, drunken confessions, heartbroken Rocket, Reader hurts Adam, torture/abuse of persons, some mention of manipulation,(more will be added accordingly)
Work count: 11,344
You will be happy to know that the description in no longer click bait! However now I realized I strayed from it...
This is uncharted territory now. So, that means I can finally get creative with my writing instead of having boring bs that follows the MCU timeline. I know, I did this to myself so idk why I'm complaining. Anyways, it's gonna be a bit of a better, longer reading experience... yay... don't forget the angst tho.
I have no idea how many more parts there are going to be so stay with me while we figure that out. I will be naming these after songs I listen on repeat while writing them, so don't pay the weird names any attention.
Enjoy and pls don't come for me, I'm just having fun and simping for this golden mf :)
Groot snored from beside you, his wooden body vibrating against your back with each inhale and exhale. The dirt beneath your fingertips were lifted in your palm then lazily falling out from your grasp, making soft sounds to distract you from thinking too much into how long it's been. Your body leaned further back into Groot, hearing the gentle buzz of bees and birds chirping in the furthest parts of the forest.
It was another mission assigned to you, Groot and Kraglin from Rocket. You weren't meant to cause violence or disturbance, instead you were here for a delivery. Something you weren't entirely used to, considering missions before consisted of gunfire and bodies lying lifeless on the floor. It was a nice change, but it did have you missing those violent missions just for the entertainment.
"Any word from captain?" Kraglin's voice broke through the pleasant silence, your gaze wandered along the trees before settling on his standing position a few feet from you.
You let a soft hum leave your lips, looking down at your watch then lifting the data pad from your lap. The sight of your last few messages and orders were listed, nothing new popping up on the corner or any sign that the mission had been updated.
"Nothin' yet I'm curious on why our buyer didn't wanna meet in town. I mean Groot is okay with lugging it around but me personally, I'm tired of sitting here all day." You sat up, stretching your limbs before placing the data pad against Groot's back, seeing the faint hue of silver within his chest.
"I think it has somethin' to do with the package itself, the seller did tell us it has valuable info on the other faction's weaponry." Kraglin chuckled, standing in front of you, his hand extended to help you stand. You gladly accepted the help, feeling your limbs tingle from sitting for so long.
"I guess that's true, odd they couldn't find someone on the planet to deliver it. We get stuck with the oddest jobs, I swear." You felt a yawn escape as you stretched further, nearly falling back from your knees locking. Kraglin had an arm extended quickly just in case you did end up falling, but you waved him away after catching your balance.
"Business has been slow lately, I'm not complaining. I like taking a break to just enjoy nature like this, sure beats the long days on the ship." Kraglin turned on his heel, beginning to dig through his bag hung upon a tree. You followed leaving a good distance to take in your surroundings once again while you hummed along to Kraglin's words in agreement.
You could feel a gentle tap against your arm, turning your attention back down only to be met with Kraglin's head tilted out past the tree his bag sat behind. The crinkle of food made your ears ring after it stopped, your gaze following the man crouched down before you. It was hard to see but you could make out the faint outline of someone walking in the distance. You were quick to crouch down alongside Kraglin, squinting your eyes slightly from the sun blinded you as it sank lower past the tree line.
"You think that's the guy?" Your voice was just above a whisper as Kraglin shrugged, his gear rustling slightly as he shifted to the side and moved up to another tree. You stayed where you were, following the silhouette as you unclipped your gun from the side of your hip. The warm metal sat in your palm as you maneuvered yourself to sit away from where the figure was walking.
"S'There any description on who we're looking out for?" Your head shot over to Kraglin, his body laid out flat against the trunk of the tree. His gaze flicked over to you then back over to keep a close eye on the moving figure. You were quick to reach along your back just above your buttocks to find the data pad you were looking at earlier.
Your heart sank at the empty feel of your satchel, your gaze darting around to find where it was placed. Once your eyes landed on it there was a ping on it that vibrated against Groot's back, his snoring quieting down just for a second before returning. You waved toward Kraglin, his eyes focusing on you for a second as you motioned toward Groot. He shook his head a playful smirk replacing his stoic expression, teasing you at your misfortune. It was just like you to do something like this, in the worst times imaginable.
You rolled your eyes, reading yourself to sprint over to the data pad, but before you could even execute your plan the sound of footsteps were coming increasingly louder. The shimmy of your body was barely noticeable as you tried to make yourself as small as possible behind the trunk of the tree. You could hear Kraglin shift as he gently unclipped the arrow from his belt, probably making it easier to move in a second's notice. You knew he was still getting familiar with how quick it reacted; he had impaled you on a previous mission for that exact reason.
The footsteps brought you out of your thought as they were only a couple feet from you, their movement never ceasing until they were close enough to you.
Your movements were quick and calculated as you swiftly moved out from behind the tree, kicking the back of their knee to get them on the ground in a second.
They let out a gasp of surprise, falling flat on their face in the processes. You were quick to hold their arms behind their back and using your whole-body weight to push your knee against their back and arms as you held the tip of your gun against the back of their head. You could hear their struggled noises as they shifted under you, their hands clenching and unclenching as they wiggled back and forth.
"Stop moving, I don't wanna accidentally paint the forest floor red." Your words were harsh, commanding, testing them to keep struggling. They were quick to cease their movement, completely going limp as their chest rapidly moved along with their fearful gasps of air.
Kraglin was up in a few seconds, already on one knee in front of said person taking in their features as they let out a groan of pain. You could see the way Kraglin's face scrunched, glancing up to you then back at them before waving you away. The worry already setting softly against his gaze down at the person.
"It's just a kid." His words fell into the quiet air around you, the gentle tug at your heart stings had you hop off of them immediately. Your hands shakily shoving your gun back into your holster, not realizing that it had shaken you up so much.
"Damn it, what the hell are you doing out here." Your voice rang through the forest as you grabbed the kids' shoulder, turning them onto their back to get a look at what child could be wandering through the forest at such a late hour in the day.
Your whole body softened looking into the eyes of the young boy, his brown eyes misting over in tears as he held his hands over his face. He didn't look a day past his teens, let alone late teens. It really was just a kid. The guilt setting heavily against your chest at the realization that he was just over Lyra's age.
"I-I came here to pick up a package from-from-" he voices trembled as he tried to catch his breath, a tear already flowing down his cheek as he struggled.
You felt that motherly instinct all over again, but you bit back the urge to comfort him as you held your head in your hand. "They seriously got kids doin' this shit now? That's some next level bull-"
Kraglin interrupted you, "Don't think about it, just get the documents and I'll make sure the kids okay."
Your movement flowed smoothly as you nudged Groot from behind, the fact he slept so soundly through the whole predicament was beyond you, but your main focus was the box within his chest cavity.
Groot let out a soft groan, his entire body creaking as wood rubbed together. You watched the data pad fall from his back, your hand reaching out grab it before it hit the ground, but your movements were to slow. The data pad was already crushed beneath the heel of Groot's feet, the sound of broken glass and metal crunching loudly as you fought to keep the anger down.
Your hands were holding your head, a struggled yell leaving your lips as you extended your arms out, turning around to bang your fist against your forehead, the anger not subsiding fast enough as Groot wiped his foot along the dirt, "I am Groot..."
"Are you seriously going to say that! We can't even confirm if that kid is the buyer, Rocket was supposed to send the information and you just-"
You took a step backward, your heavy breathing drowning out the rapid beat of your heart as your back hit the trunk of a tree. The splitters and scrapes were nothing compared to the spill of annoyance and dread, the rage building with each passing second.
"I am Groot." Groot's voice was soft, his eyes darting away from you then to Kraglin. You were trying so hard not to yell, not to make things worse but it was so frustrating.
"Groot, it was my fault. I could've—I should've grabbed it before you stood up, it slipped my mind. It's fine, we'll just take our chances." Your palms clasped over your mouth as you pondered on if Rocket was going to skin you alive if this ended up backfiring.
It had been a weird start on your missions, Rocket was far from being any clear with his communication. Most missions he'd sit out, giving you the odd jobs that kept you far, far away from him. Even after Thor left, most conversations were short words of acknowledgement and simple mission briefs, it was never one on one like it used to be. That whole week had been a roller coaster. You didn't get a chance to talk, to really dig deep, to get over this massive bump in the road in your self growth. As much as you loved Rocket, it seems you were back at square one in your friendship.
Adam wasn't any better, he was the complete opposite of tiptoeing around you, it was like the roles were reversed. He could hold a conversation, like he wanted to talk about that night after his confession and you kept brushing him off, avoiding him and clearing the room before he even made his presence known. You pushed and pushed until he finally gave up, accepting your sarcastic remarks and back handed comments with a nod and a swift retreat.
You were being hypocritical, that much was obvious.
You knew you were anything but relieved at Adam's new tactic in keeping his distance, it hurt the deepest parts of you. The thought that he had given up so easily really rubbed you the wrong way, you knew it was something you wanted but at the same time you missed him. Everyday you woke up without Blurp sitting outside your door whining, or the soft smiles Adam would give you from across the room, or when Lyra would invite him to join you both in your Terran traditions, it was like a part of you was missing.
You kept telling yourself it was for the best, the further Adam drifted from your shitty self would keep him happy, sane, devoid of any stress and in finding someone else to fall for. That thought always made your stomach sink, that he now saw he didn't need you, or that he didn't actually feel any sort of way toward you.
You never realized how fucked up everything had been from your own fears of rejection and traumas.
"I am Groot." Groot's voice knocked you from your thoughts, your eyes moving from off the shattered glass up to the small box held out to you.
"Yea buddy, it's okay, it's replaceable. Let's just get this over with and get the hell out of here." Your hands gently took the box from his hold, watching as he followed alongside you to Kraglin.
"So, we're just gonna risk it?" Kraglin's sarcasm was evident, but you didn't pay it any mind. You were finally calm, and you didn't need his teasing setting you off, not when the mission was more important.
"Here are the documents, we'll be expecting the credits as soon as you return." Your finger tips gently grazed the boy's opened palms, you were about to let go when you caught a glimmer of light shining from behind him. Your whole body moved on instinct, like you were back on Earth in the middle of a war.
You shoved the boy down with the box, the booming of gun fire sounded throughout the quiet forest, not even a chirp or creak of wood could be heard. A few seconds passed before gasps were heard from around you, they were loud enough for your mind to finally catch up with your body.
The sight of blood dripping from the open wound onto the boys shoulder was enough for the realization to set in as you fell onto your back. You couldn't remember the last time you got shot, even Kraglin's arrow did less damage. The burning began to fan from your right arm, igniting your whole body in flames from the pain.
Groot was in front of you in a second, a barrier being held up just enough to shield all four of you from the oncoming fire. Your left hand somehow found its way up to your right shoulder, your fingers pushing onto your back. The wall of skin intact meant the blast didn't go straight through.
Kraglin's loud whistle made your ears ring as yelling followed, you couldn't move your body from off the floor it was like you were paralyzed. The voices from Kraglin and Groot were like television static as Groot wrapped branches around you to help you stand.
As soon as you found your footing the blaster fire followed, there were more than a few dozen men surrounding you, caging you in with little effort. Groot was withering away at the seams, his body taking the brunt of the beating as Kraglin got a quarter of the men down.
You grabbed onto the boys coat collar , keeping him between all three of you. The attempt to making sure he wouldn't be in harm's way only increased his sobs and cries, his fingers digging into the package as his cries bled with the ongoing fire and hollers from the attacking men.
You pulled on your holster, pushing the boy further down into the dirt as you finally released your gun. His eyes were on you in an instant, his tear stained face fueling your body to keep moving. It was like Lyra was right there with you, you needed to protect her.
Your attempts to help your team were coordinated, shooting in each direction to stop the men sneaking closer. Groot was quick to slither out small vines and pierce through a few that you didn't notice. Each breath in burned, the wound against your shoulder continuing to sizzle with each movement. The healing process should have started from such a small wound, but with each passing minute, each body falling, the wound never seemed to close.
"We were down to half, but they keep coming. I don't think we can hold 'em off any longer. We need to get back to the ship!" Your voice was hoarse as you stumbled over the debris of broken twigs and branches. The fear welling within your chest increased at the sight of the men hunkering down further out, using long range weapons to continue beating down the barricade of Groot you all sat behind.
Kraglin nodded, his whistle being one of the only weapons to reach further than your stupid handgun. You watched four fall from behind the trees as you readied yourself to make a break for it, Groot was already using the rest of his might to make the barrier stronger, but light enough to run with it.
It was a split-second decision as you grab ahold of the teen boys hand, keeping him moving next to you but his constant tumbling and trip ups were slowing you all down. It was difficult but you could see the tree line peeking through, the whistle of Kraglin's arrow flew in front of you, piercing through the man coming out from behind a rock.
Your arm was beginning to go numb from all the movement, you couldn't even close your hands as you tried to grip your gun, your other hand was too busy pushing the kid forward. It felt like agony fighting through the pain, as another man came from around another tree. Your movements were swift in knocking him back onto his back as Groot threaded a vine through his abdomen, using the limp body to block incoming fire from the other side of his broken down shield.
The sight of the ship made you work harder to keep up, nearly throwing the kid out of the way of another shot fired from the underside of the ship. The same pain shot through your leg, the shot going clean through unlike the other, but the pain was much worse as all motor function in your torn up leg were working overtime.
Kraglin was the first in, already starting up the ship while the boy tripped over himself once again. Groot couldn't create any more vines to block the shots like he did before, instead he completely covered you and the boy with his body to keep the damage to a minimum.
"Get up, were right there. Come on kid, your gonna make it." Your grip was loose on the underside of the boys shoulder, hoisting him up with the bit of strength you had left, you were so caught up in the relief of being so close to leaving that you didn't feel the sharp object being shoved within your stomach.
Your whole body collapsed against itself, the sting from the needle was already beginning to run through your entire body. You felt like you were on fire, all your strength was dissolving slowly, the borders of your vision being shrouded in black dots as you sucked in a deep breath, pushing yourself to stay upright. Your gaze fell into the eyes of the teen; his apology was evident in his eyes as he held the empty syringe in his palm.
You tried to move away, to step up onto the dock but your legs wouldn't move. Your palms gripped onto the thin vine slithering across your abdomen, but it was quickly cut off and fell limply in your palm. The sight of the boy dropping the syringe and reaching out to grip your arm, his gentle tug against your wrist and upper arm was enough for you to fall.
The boy held your head in his arms, stopping you from hurting your head in the process. You thought it was sweet, kind, even with the anger bubbled up in your rising chest. He really was a kid, he didn't even know what he wanted.
Your ears began to ring as the pain shot down your spine, the peaceful moment was gone as your entire body was covered in dirt. Your hands noticed that you were being dragged, the severity of your wounds completely numbing your body to any sensations. The blurry sight came into view as you became conscious to your surrounding once again.
You noticed now that they had taken out Groot's hand and part of his body. His scream was full of rage, worry as he attempted to get to you, but your attackers pushed forward. Groot's entire body moved back to cover his face with his other hand to block the rain of blaster fire, you tried reaching out but your hands wouldn't move, all you could do was watch.
The sight broke your heart, Groot trying so hard to reach you as Kraglin's eyes landed on you from the cockpit of the ship. You could feel anger burn in your chest, as sleep crept closer and closer.
The teen body blocked your line of sight as he was running in front of you, his eyes looked into your own once again. You wanted to believe he was innocent but your outraged heart ached in betrayal. You felt stupid, disappointed.
Your gaze flicked between his eyes as your head lulled back, your anger coming in waves as you spoke your final words before sleep completely drowned you. "What a little backstabbing piece of-"
"Shit... are you alright baby?" The voice that spoke was sincere, their hands finding their way underneath your shoulders as you nodded softly. The large gash against your knee ached softly, blood beginning to drip onto your socks. The warm feeling was comforting compared to the icy breeze from outside, it already had you shivering against the chest cradling you close.
"C-cold." Your hushed voice was shaking from your teeth chattering, the smoke falling from the single word as you snuggled closer to the warm body. Your mind was hazy, barely registering the crunch of snow and heart beating against your ear. The rumble from their chest made the gentle beat cease, their words pounding against your ear drums.
"I told you to bring as extra coat goofy, let's go see if mom can get you all fixed up." Your fathers gruff voice bounced along the surface of the snowy plain, your hands curling further against your chest.
It felt like ages before the faint glow of the cabin came into view, your whole body was already beginning to warm up just from the sight. Your heart was soaring as the warmth of the fire enveloped you, your mother still working on dinner as you and your father walked through the threshold.
The look on your mother's face was easy to read, worry, a big of anger slipping through. You knew why she was angry, but you weren't capable of feeling such a thing from how numb your body had become. You only focused on a heavy blanket being wrapped around your body as your father sat you down in front of the fireplace, gently grabbing your ankle to extend your leg for your mom to look it over.
Your palm rode up from your ankle to your knee, the numb of your icy cold fingers weren't able to tell that the large cut was gone, only the blood drying quickly. You peeled the blood from your skin unconsciously, your sock crinkled under your fingertip as the blood dried into the fabric. The faint mummers from your parents were distant as you snuggled further into the plush blanket, distracted by the flicker of fire, it's red and orange hues moving rhythmically to each gust of wind from outside, the fresh wood on top began to burn brighter.
You looked into the flame, feeling heat pooling over your entire body making your skin itch from the ferocity. Then a hand gently grabbed your shoulder, pulling you away from the beauty that laid within its small cage.
"I don't think we met before; are you knew here?" The professional tone had your breath catch in your throat, the heat dusting your cheeks in a light shade of red.
You could feel the aura of leadership dripping off of him, his blonde hair swept back nice, his faint scent of cedar and leather hitting your nostrils as the icy blue eyes wandered down between you. The hand he extended for you to grasp, his black suit holding his body in the perfect places with each rise and fall of his chest as he waited patiently for your response.
Your hand reluctantly reached out, nervousness finding its way to your small smile and reddened cheeks. "I was assigned here a few days ago. Just filling out paperwork for Mr. Stark before I'm allowed on the field."
His smile was contagious, as he gave one good shake and pulled out the seat next to you. "I see, well it's nice to have you on the team..."
Once again, he waited with such patients as you took him in, everything about him scratched the right parts of your brain. From his calm sweet tone to the way his muscular shoulders gently nudged against yours as he adjusted himself within the seat.
"(Y/n)... (y/n) (l/n)." You could feel your whole-body tense as he locked eyes with you, testing your name on his tongue with a hum. You looked away, hiding your face behind your hair as you took a sip from your drink hoping he wouldn't see the mess you were becoming with each passing second.
Out of nowhere you could feel his whole body shift again, as someone came to greet him. Thier words weren't registered as you looked through your hair to see his stoic expression, memorizing every crease of his brow, movement of his eyes and bob of his adams apple as he spoke.
After they left, his full attention was back on you again like you were the most important thing to him. His expression was soft, nearly making you melt in place as he apologized, his hand resting along the bar top as he held out his hand again before pulling back and chuckling softly.
"Steve Rogers, it's nice to finally meet you." His voice left a pleasant ringing in your ears as he continued to speak, completely drowning you in his presence.
You watched his lips move to every word, his teeth showing as he laughed along to your response. All of those emotions within such a short time had your head spinning, your vison blurred together in calm tones of blue as they swished back and forth. The crashing of waves and faint hint of salt overcame your senses, the warm rays of sun hitting your face as you stood to look out over the horizon.
"You coming? We gotta get back." The gruff voice echoed behind you, the gentle tug against your heart from the homesickness brought your gaze away from the setting sun and to the small companion not too far from you.
His cold gaze was making you uncomfortable, not that you really cared, but you expected at least some sort of sympathy for staying with them out in space for so long. The earth like ecosystem was pleasant, the thought of Steve was beginning to gnaw at the back of your mind. The warmth of the air sent your hair flying in front of your face, the sand rustling beneath your shoes as you got closer to the small creature.
"How long have we been gone?" Your voice carried softly in the wind, your hair finally going back into place as you tucked it behind your ear. You didn't miss the way he continued to stare up at you, his dark brown eyes looked almost red in the sunlight.
You were taken aback by the way his expression softened significantly, a much more welcoming appearance than before. It had your heart beating a bit faster, not sure if you had said something wrong. The silence was nice, allowing you to enjoy just a few more seconds of the beautiful scenery around you, then his tail flicked against the dirt brushing sand up from the ground.
"About two weeks, you miss home or somethin' girlie?" The nickname made you smile, letting your shoulders fully relaxed as you hummed. "Of course I do, but it's not every day I get to leave Earth."
He chuckled; it was inviting letting you know that he understood. "You'll be home soon, come on let's get back to Nebula." You could feel your own chuckle bubble up, falling in step with Rocket as you made your way toward the ship. The sight taking your breath away with the dim light illuminating it behind tropical trees and bushes. The scent of fruit lingering in your senses as you walked past them.
"What took you guys so long!?" The feminine voice was rough, her arms folding over her chest as she looked between you and the raccoon, then her gaze fell on you the familiar sight of anger within her dark eyes. "We have four more stops and you two leave me to pack up."
She was pissed; you could practically feel the anger radiating off of her. You wanted to apologize but there was a familiar lump beginning to form in your throat from being yelled at, something you hardly felt but the idea of being so far from home and not being able to enjoy such sights was infuriating.
You knew you couldn't let that sadness slip out, so you closed your eyes for just a moment, letting the warm air fill your lungs as you took a deep breath in. The feeling ignited in your abdomen, setting ablaze in anger.
You took in the scent of salt and earthy tones in your nostrils, the gentle smoothness of cloth against your fingertips as you gripped onto the fabric in your palms, the ringing in your ears drowning out the sound of voices as you exhaled sharply.
You opened your eyes, bringing the blanket up further to cover the small girl within your lap. Her once up right position was now sprawled, her head on the armrest and her legs on the other side of the couch, dangling softly on strong thighs at your side. You could hear the faint whispers and singing coming from the television, the familiar musical reminding you of late nights sat awake with Natasha.
Your shoulder flexed slightly, the weight becoming more and more prominent with each passing second. It made your whole-body ache, not only having one, but two heavy weights against your body. That earthy smell mixed well with the sandalwood as you turned your head, seeing the golden blonde hair draped along your shoulder. His soft snores echoed along with the little girl in your hold.
Being so close you could smell the musk of his cologne, a scent that was becoming familiar with each week that passed. From this angle you had the perfect view of his face, the way his big chest rose and fell, his strong nose barely covering his lips as they were slightly agape with each breath. You could see the almost bronze tone to his golden cheeks, as his head moved slightly back between the couch and the back of your shoulder.
Now, you had freedom to look at his face. His sharp jawline and peaceful expression. his hair laid lazily across the front of his face; its slicked backed perfection was long gone. Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest, his lips moving slightly as he mumbled in his sleep. He looked anything but perfect like this, his constant reminders that he's supposed to be the perfect being was far beyond true now, but you could feel you heart swell.
He was perfect, even like this.
The stir from him had you hurriedly looking away and back toward the television, pretending you had just been watching the movie instead of admiring the golden man beside you. His hum from beside you tense, his apology coming out raspy as he sat up and away from you. You hummed, looking down at the little girl in your lap as she leaned further into your warmth. You would never tell a soul but the cool apartment air hitting your side made you miss the golden man that once laid against you.
"Has Lyra fallen asleep?" His voice was as smooth as silk, his accent ringing in your ears like music.
"Yes." your answer was almost a whisper as you smiled down at the little girl, her calm sleeping expression eased any worries you had.
Adam smiled softly looking down at the girl in your lap, reaching over to brush her hair from her face. The gesture had your stomach flutter, this was so domestic, like a family. Just as that thought crossed your mind, Adam moved more noticeably from beside you, his hand moving Lyra's legs from atop his thighs.
"I will take my leave, I don't want to-" his voice was cut off by Lyra stirring in your grasp, her eyebrows scrunching softly as she turned, the blanket scrunching up between you. Adam stood dead in his tracks, not moving a single muscle until he was sure she would not wake up.
You took it upon yourself to bring your hand up and gently grab his wrist. The sudden contact made the man beside you jump, his gaze following your hand up to your eyes. His expression was unreadable, but you hoped he couldn't see the flush of your cheeks as you kept your eyes steady.
"Don't go. Lyra would be sad if you aren't here when she wakes up." You could feel nervous bubble up into your chest, your throat tightening waiting for his response. You didn't want to admit it, but you didn't want him to leave either, the thought was frightening to you, but you had no idea if he knew just how you felt when he was at your side.
In that moment of brief silence, you came to the realization of something, something you tried so hard to ignore since the moment he held your face in his palm. It was like a breath of fresh air thinking about it, not one thought being from your past as you looked into his golden eyes. The only thought being you, him and Lyra.
Adam smiled, his hand gently covering yours, squeezing gently in reassurance as he sat back down in his seat. You could feel his entire body relax further into the couch, his warmth radiating throughout your entire body. The gentle feel of his arm against your side made your heart skip a beat.
Without thinking, you leaned over, laying your head against his shoulder. You could feel him move slightly, tugging his arm between you two, you thought he was pushing you away.
When you moved back to sit up straight, you could feel his arm hook behind your neck pulling you back into him, your cheek pressing into his chest as his hand fell onto your shoulder, rubbing small circles with his thumb. Not a word was exchanged, just the comfort of each other and the movie playing in the background.
You closed your eyes, not paying the voice on the television any mind, only listening to the powerful beat of his heart and steady breaths. The rhythm like a lullaby as you felt his grip tighten on your arm as he pulled you further into him. The scent of his cologne drowning you in the sleep creeping closer and closer.
Just before you could fully fall asleep there was a warm feeling upon your forehead, a familiar cool burn completely drenched over your body. You felt lighter and heavier at the same time, like you were falling slowly. Your entire body was sinking into the darkness of sleep, which rapidity overwhelmed you with the spinning behind your eyes.
You could feel your whole body shake awake, the feeling of cold water dripped down your face and upper body. Your breaths came in rapid shallow huffs, your heart rapidly beating within your chest as fear crawled along your spine. The realization of liquid pooled in your lap as your hazy vision looked into the bright light reflecting in the water's surface.
You blinked away the water falling into your eyes, your arm twisting roughly from behind you as you attempted to wipe your face, only then did you notice that you were immobilized. Your hands pulled and pushed against the restraints on your back, your entire body rocking the chair you were tied to with each attempt at breaking free.
The sudden jingle of glass echoed in the empty room as your gaze shot up, your eyes quickly closed at the blinding lights. You blinked away the pain, while taking deep breaths to calm your nerves enough to look back up again.
The first thing you noticed was how empty the room was, completely devoid of life. It was filled with lab equipment, similar to horror movies with very few blood stains along certain tools and weird knifes and vials, an odd liquid sitting within a vile not too far away caught your eye. It was blue in color but there were smidges of red and purple swirling within it.
The entire room smelt of alcohol, rubber and nickel, which proved that it was definitely some sort of medical room, or possibly a torture room. You didn't like the thought of the last assumption, the events from earlier already burning your entire body in anger.
Not only did you get captured but you also got played by a kid of all things, a kid who you sympathized with because they reminded you of your little girl. It was hurtful, maybe deserved for all of the things you had done. Every wrong doing, every stain on your hands and every shitty word spoken, the universe found a way to remind you just how horrible of a person you were.
That thought hurt more than words could describe, the only thing on your mind was finding a way out and seeing Lyra again, to be back with family, to be see him again...
You twisted your arm again, feeling a sharp pain in the joint on your elbow it made your thoughts shift away from the flutter in your stomach.
The quick turn of your head to look further behind you hurt, your head already spinning but the sight of an IV pushing fluid into your system had your heart thumping roughly in your chest.
The clear liquid dripped softly, as you tried reaching your fingers up to grip the tube to yank it out but that familiar numb feeling within your hands was enough to halt your movements. You could already feel the tingling sensation running through your entire body, the memories of the earlier events came flooding back in much more detail than before.
Your eye glanced over to your shoulder, the wound wasn't closed but the blood had been cleaned. You looked down and your other wound hadn't healed either. The fear welling in your chest ached, your stomach turning at the realization that something was wrong with your body.
The sudden clatter of metal and concrete sounded through the large room. Your gaze shot up to look in the far corner. You could see a door swinging closed as a small female walked in with a muscular man following behind her. They looked to be from Earth like you, but there was a weird off-putting detail in their facial expressions that weren't exactly human.
"There's no use in struggling, your powers won't work." Her voice was velvety, soft, comforting but laced with hidden venom.
You didn't say a word, only looking between her and the man beside her. She had familiar highlights and colors to you, her skin just slightly lighter than your own, like she was glowing, and her eyes nearly matched your own if it weren't for the purple ring surrounding her pupil. Her hair was like straw, from a distance it looked soft but now that she was nearer it looked unreal, like yarn. You didn't know what to think, if anything the man beside her looked worse. He looked more cryptic as the seconds drew on.
"Aren't you going to ask what you're doing here?" Her voice was sharp, leaning closer to cup your chin in her palm, turning your head back and forth examining you.
You quickly turned away, your body straining against your restraints. The familiar buzz of your body made you freeze as the numbness increased. Your brain going fuzzy as you slouched back in the chair you were held against, the cool feeling in your arm pooled down to your feet.
Her stoic expression turned into a smirk that turned into a full smile, her teeth showing behind her pale lips. You could see the faint glimmer of knife sharp teeth just where her canines sat.
"I wouldn't try moving too much, you're going to make this process much harder on yourself." Her hand came up to push the stray strands of hair from your face, her nails gently digging into your skin. "We can't have our Terran mutt losing consciousness when you've just woken up."
"I wouldn't be talking about me being a mutt when you look like that. What's the point of you hiding when I know you're not a Terran either? You must be uglier underneath all that fake skin you're wearing." Your voice was hoarse as you spoke, but you could tell she understood you perfectly as her eyes narrowed, her fingers digging deeper into your chin.
"You're all bark and no bite, mutt. You may be half Terran, but you will never understand just how powerful your other half is. I'll have more use for it here on this planet." Her nails finally began to sink into your cheeks; the cool liquid of blood seeped from each indent.
You felt more pain than you have in your entire life, your healing factor completely dwarfed than what it was before. In one swift downward push of your head, you had caught the space between her index and thumb between your teeth. You bit down hard, her expression switching to fear and pain as she tried to pry her hand from your jaws only for it to tear.
There was a quick flash before your entire body was stumbling onto your side, the chair you sat on making a horrible cracking sound as you slammed into the ground. A sharp pain began to fester on your cheek, the warm liquid in your mouth was spat out a mix of red and purple as you inhaled sharply.
The man that was beside her now stood over you, his fists purple from her blood and his knuckles turning red from hitting you. His expression was unreadable, but you knew he was proud of himself with the way he leaned down. The warmth from the bruise forming on your cheek was nothing to his large fist pulled your hair to sit you back up, the pain making you cry out.
You could feel his grip loosen once you were back up, his hand disappearing from your head as the girl was in front of you once again. Her hand was pushed into her side to stop the bleeding while she looked down at you bitterly. You could only smile cockily before her hand whipped across your face, wiping that smirk away in an instant.
"Celestial, and Skrull." The two words were booming, bouncing off the walls of the room and ringing in your ears.
"Disgusting mutt. You have nothing else to offer except your dormant powers, look at you, you can't even shape-shift." Her face was now mere inches from your own, her bloodied hand was on your shoulder as her thumb dug into the unhealed bullet wound.
You hissed in pain as she spat her next words in your face, "That Terran inside you is holding you back from all your rich endless power. Didn't you ever wonder why you were so different? How stupid can you be, I mean really."
There was a pause as she pushed her thumb deeper, the burn within your chest rising as you closed your eyes to keep from crying. You didn't know what to say, what to do, all you knew was that this was literal hell, but you had more questions swarming your mind as your head fell forward to collide with her forehead roughly. She gasped, falling back as your whole body went completely limp, the numbness finally having you within its hold.
"I'm none of those things, I'm a fucking Terran. My mom, and my dad were both from earth, I'm no mutt." Your words were choked, the lump forming in your throat making it hard to speak and to breathe. The only thing on your body that was able to move was your chest, each rise and fall from the deep breathes you took in and each sharp exhale burned.
Her laugh was dry, as she wiped her forehead. "Your father was a disgusting Terran, your mother however..."
The hand that wiped her forehead found its way down to your thigh, doing the same thing she did with your other blaster wound. She dug deep to emphasize her next words, and all you could do was bite your tongue to stop from screaming. "Your mother was half Skrull and Celestial. Did you think a simple Terran like you could just obtain powers without a source? I do have to give your mother credit; she did a great job hiding you from me."
You could feel the pent-up pain grow to be too much, the scream you let out even made her flinch. Her entire body jolting as tears began to spring from your eyes, your sobs were loud as you hung your head low. She regained her composure to dig her fingers deeper as you continued to sob, completely letting go of the will to hide your fearful emotions.
"Poor sweet niece of mine, you really are a weak Terran." She shushed you, her forehead resting against your own as your eyes locked with hers. You knew she seen your confusion, your fear, your pain, as she continued, "All of this will be over soon, and you'll finally be able to live a normal life on your miserable planet."
Her words rang in your ears, the promise of returning to Earth was a shot in your heart. Everything you had lost and rebuilt would have been for nothing, like each sacrifice was wasted. You didn't want to go back; you couldn't abandon Lyra, or the few friends you had left. You couldn't leave Adam.
The thought of the golden man had another sob erupt from within in your throat, finally letting out tears that weren't masked by anger or a need to hide. The tears were real, raw, full of emotions you could finally release after months of pushing back each need to run to him. You could feel the warmth enveloping your entire body, the sleep and numb feeling fueling a fire within your very soul.
You tried to keep your eyes open, the pain and tears clouding your vision as she removed her finger from your wound to stroke your cheek with her bloodied hand. It could've been mistaken for love had it not been for the push of her palm against your chin, which caused your head to lull to the side as the man beside her stuck something sharp into your shoulder blade.
The flame in your soul burned brighter, pushing away the fear welling within your chest, there was a pulse of energy in your heart that followed, one after the other a hammer began nailing against your chest, a strum of stings that connected the very veins together like it wasn't just your own heart beating.
You weakly tried to pull away, only for her to shush you once again. The world around you blurring together as sleep sunk further into your body, pushing back any fight you had left.
The last words in your mind were soft, slurred, unspoken.
Please forgive me.
"You did nothing wrong sweetheart." Your mother gently pulled your balled up fist from your teary eyes, her own thumbs brushing the stray tears slipping down your cheeks.
You sobbed, turning away from her touch only for her to pull you back. The warmth of her kiss upon your forehead made your cries shift down to quiet sniffles and hiccups. Her thumbs ran under your eyes again, then her lips kissed away the new tears building up as she pulled you into her chest.
You didn't know if you played too roughly in the park but one second you were swinging across the bars to the other side then the next you were screaming and crying on the ground with a broken arm. You came back the next day with no cast and full movement... they thought you were a monster, a liar, a freak.
The flashed of their words replayed in your mind, the way their palms dug into your shoulder blades as you were pushed, shoved, scratched. They said you weren't allowed to play with them anymore and you couldn't stop the tears, the anger, the feeling of betrayal.
"I-I didn't mean it. I wanted to play and-and-" you gripped onto the fabric of your mother's shirt, your tears soaking the soft blue dress as she hushed you.
"I know you didn't mean it sweetheart, it's okay." Your mother's grip tightened slightly, making sure you felt safe, and secure within her hold.
You were still sobbing into her hold, not noticing the way your mother looked up toward your father. It was the same look, the same concern as in the cabin.
Their words were drowned out, it was obvious their arguments were becoming more frequent as you got older but your mind refused to acknowledge it. You could already feel your grip loosen on your mother as your eye lids fell heavy.
You felt your father pull you away from your mother, her angered words rising as he pushed past your bedroom door his hold reminded you of a warm fire, it was like the sun, and you couldn't stop your eyes from closing as he walked into your room to lay you down.
Your fear, and sadness finally catching up to you. The days events were horrifying, the moment of your blackout and blood stained hands had your heart clenching in your chest as your dad tucked the blanket around you.
His words were drowned out, muffled by sleep overtaking you within a seconds notice. You could feel the gentle kiss against your forehead as the door closed softly on the other side of your room.
You could feel your mind haze together as a knock followed soon after the door shut. The groggy 'one second' from your dry throat was enough for them to know you had just woken up.
The pull from within your chest was enough for you to sit up and take in the pale room surrounding you. You couldn't even see from how blurry your vision was from sleep, even the quick rub of your eyes didn't help as you trudged toward the door.
Once it swung open you were embraced swiftly by a familiar muscular embrace. It made your stomach flip and your heart clench in your chest, not from nervousness but from what his arrival meant.
"Look who's finally awake, you really needed a break if you slept this long. I even had Stark call you but you wouldn't pick up." Thor's booming voice was laced with worry as you stumbled back when he finally let you go.
"I never pick up when Tony calls me, you know that. Especially on my day off." You leaned against his chest as he chuckled along to your words. His hand ruffling your bed head.
"My dear, I believe you picked the wrong day for a lazy day. Tony is throwing a party to officially welcome you to the team!" Thor tried nudging you off, only for you to grumble and swat away his hand that rested on the top of your head.
"Of course he picked the one day I chose to have off. I'm going to replace his coffee with motor oil I swear." You half heartedly joked, the sinking feeling in your stomach burning at the thought of the long overdue welcoming.
You could already feel the weight of such a responsibility being set on your shoulders, even if you had been an Avenger for more than a couple of months, this party meant letting the world know who you were. You didn't have to sneak around, or dodge the camera crews which meant you'd be judged not only by the public but peers you haven't even met.
Thor grabbed onto your shoulders, stilling your swaying figure as you slumped upon your bed. The whole room spinning with the realization that this could surely backfire if you weren't careful with your self image.
Thor already knew what you were feeling, you always had that same far off look in your eyes but just as he noticed your tell, you bounced back like it didn't affect you but that didn't stop him from saying comforting words hoping to ease your worries, even just a little.
You felt his reassuring hand on your shoulder, his eyes locking with yours to give you soft smile. That was enough to make your worries rise and fall in sync, the walls you put up crumbling down just slightly to accommodate the warm feeling in your chest, but just as quickly it vanished. A whole new worry arose, completely blocking out the feeling of safety and shielding it in your mask.
"I don't even have an outfit. I can't wear the dress I wore the night I met..." your words died down just as quickly as they spilled. A knowing look flashed in Thor's eyes as he shook you slightly before removing his hand from your shoulder.
"Ah, the night you met—how did you put it—your true love!" His eye lashes fluttered as his hands came up to his cheeks, emphasizing his words with half lidded eyes, lovey voice and shake of his head.
You could feel regret pool in your body as you shoved his shoulder roughly, letting out an unbelievable gasp. "You promised you wouldn't mention that!"
Thor only laughed, his whole body moving along with it. Your bed shook as he stood up, moving away from your swatting hands as you stood soon after finally deciding you had enough of his shit. He was still chuckling as you shoved him out of your room, his words rushing past the thin door in a singsong.
"Take it easy Kid."
The hand that was once on the door was now laid upon a firm chest; your fists stained with a familiar bronze hue. The rapid thump underneath your fingertips and quick rise and fall of his chest, his arms still held above his head to block your attack that had now ceased.
The smell of nickel and sweat filled your scenes, the droplets of red sank into the fabric of his clothes. Your blood dripped from your nose and torn lip, your earlier actions completely torn from your memory. As your gaze fell down to his features, it felt like your heart completely stopped.
You could see the faint hue of his metallic golden eyes, shining with a mix of fear and admiration. Even like this he was still perfect, he had just as much damage done to his face as you did yours. It made your stomach flip, a familiar yet foreign feeling. The thought that you felt compassion for such a fool made your entire world crumble down in seconds. The only thing stopping you from continuing your rampage was the cold blue hand yanking you away from the golden man.
"We said to train him, not kill him." Nebula's voice rang in your ears, as you shoved her hand off your shoulder. The glare she shot you was recuperated with a huff of annoyance deep from within your chest.
"I never wanted to train him, I told you again and again it was a bad idea." You took a deep breath, your glaring gaze falling to the man sat at your feet. "You may have forgotten but I will never forget that this golden asshole nearly killed us!"
Adam flinched at the mention of his time before the Guardians. You knew he still felt guilt and you made sure that he never forgave himself not when he nearly destroyed the very thing you fought so hard to keep.
"Can you just let it go!? He's made up for it on countless missions, missions you avoid. God damn it (y/n). If you just-" Nebula was cut short on her rant when you let out a pitiful sound of annoyance, a growl that ruptured into a scream.
In one swift movement you shoved Nebula aside to strike Adam again but there were large muscular arms wrapping around your torso. You knew all too well you were in more trouble if it wasn't Groot who had snatched you up. You tried tossing and turning, your nails digging into the purple skin that held you in place.
The ache in your chest worsening at the sight of Adam standing fully, the back of his hand wiping away the blood that dripped from his nose. His eyes speaking louder than his words ever could as he turned to take his leave. You didn't know why but it angered you more than seeing Steve sitting on that bench, even the shock of Rocket's lips upon your own couldn't compare, even your guilt watching Lyra beg for love felt less than this, this loneliness finally consuming you for running from him that night.
This was your payment. Your karma.
"How pathetic." The world around you shrouded in darkness at those two words.
Where the purple arms once wrapped around your torso were replaced by you clutched arms wrapping tighter around yourself, the blood seeping from your arms felt like fire on your skin. Your nails continuing to dig further into your flesh as you sobbed, your cries coming out it scratchy wails.
"You really think sitting here and crying like a baby is going to help you." There was that voice again, nearly outranking your cries in volume.
Through blurred vision you could see that familiar golden skin, it lit up the darkness than that of a sun. Your stomach turned with excitement and sorrow, the cries from earlier lessened to quiet hiccups and sniffles. The thought that he had returned was enough to get you to wipe away the tears, but as the blurry figure came into full view you were disappointed to see a very different and very feminine Sovereign.
"Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Her question went unanswered as you turned away from her intense gaze.
You felt embarrassment rising across your cheeks as you sunk further into the darkness. Yet, her gaze never seemed to leave as she took a step closer to you. Once again you moved away avoiding any sort of contact or acknowledgment of her existence.
"Leave me alone." Your words were hoarse, disgustingly low and graveled. The cries from earlier doing a number on your throat.
She hummed in response, her eyes following the way your lips moved and the way you shuffled away from her. She didn't seem to mind, not saying another word as she sat beside you, her golden hues hitting the edge of your left side. The warmth was comforting but you could only feel annoyance bubbling up to mask the vulnerability.
You tried to keep your gaze fixed on the nonexistent ground, but you couldn't help but feel more awkward as time passed, the annoyance completely drowned out by your nervousness
It felt like forever before she finally made a move to scoot closer to you, her hand finding its way to push your hair from your face. You were about to swat away her hand when she grabbed ahold of your chin, turning your attention toward her. Her eyes scanned your entire face, like she was taking note of each imperfection. You half expected her to shove you away but you were thoroughly surprised when a pleasant smile graced her lips, a simple thing you felt very few have seen.
"How beautiful." Her words echoed into the void, your heart doing a flip in the process of her whole body now turning toward you. "I can't believe even after a tantrum you still have such lovely features."
You could feel her entire warmth engulfing your form, it reminded you of Adam in the most comforting way possible. The feel of her thumb ran across your tear stained face, wiping the left over tears you missed. The motherly gesture made tears well in your eyes again as she hushed you, her fingers danced across your scalp to push stray hairs from your face.
"Am I dead..." the words fell from your mouth without thinking, you thought maybe she would agree or give a simple nod, but her calm face fell into the most disappointing expression.
"No."
Her response sounded like it was supposed to be obvious, but you weren't quite sure how to feel.
You wanted to ask why, why you weren't dead or why you were even in this mess to begin with but the look on your face must've told her enough because you couldn't even think of a response before, she spoke first.
"You have a gift I have never seen, maybe it's that godsend power that lets me see you, feel you here right now." She leaned closer placing her forehead against yours, in an almost loving manner. "It's such a pity you possess strength beyond my son, I too could have used such raw power for my people. I know the High Evolutionary thought we were fools but I had my son to be our savior from our creators wrathful hand not just to ruin you guardians—which I may have gone overboard on."
Her soft chuckled was a pleasant pause which made your breathing still. At first it was the beauty of her laugh then it turned into the fact you didn't know what to respond with or what to do. You were hung on the fact that not only are you not dead, but his mother was just as beautiful as he was. That same golden glow, a million suns could not compare to just how warm your entire body felt. The comfort and love drowning you in a blissful state, yet you felt a gnawing feeling in your chest.
"I had no idea Adam..." you could feel guilt burying itself into your subconscious, the reality of what you had done hitting you harder than ever before. "...I hurt him, I keep hurting him and all he was made for was to—yet he was also made to—you and I can't—why are you so nice to me after everything I've done to your son and what the guardians did!"
You wanted to pull away but you could feel the hand on the back of your head run down to your back, as she pulled you into her chest. The uncanny silence in her chest made your body pause, the realization that she was indeed long gone from the universe was enough to make your heart ache more.
"What happened all those years ago doesn't matter now that I'm—just know I don't blame you... I was fueled on fear that harm would come to my people, to him, if we did not comply with our creator to capture the squirrel." She paused again, the hand on your back rubbing small circles as she held you close burring her face in the temple of your hair. "Adam was brought out earlier due to our creators impatience, all Adam's mind knew was violence, anger and pride. His incompetence far out weighed his ability to realize just how much I relied on him to be the guiding light for our people and not to be used as a weapon."
You could feel your body push into her further wiping the new mist of tears in your eyes on her clothing as she sighed deeply into your hair while continuing to comfort you and maybe herself, you weren't sure.
The moment of holding one another didn't seem to feel like a second or a minute, it could've been hours or days but all you knew was that this was what you missed the most when it came to Adam. Before, you tried not to think about it but having his mother hear in front of you was enough to make those missing pieces resurface.
You finally broke the moment by pulling away, sniffling softly as you wiped away the stray tear from your eyes. The moment you locked eyes with her again you could see features in her that you could see in Adam, you weren't sure if all Sovereigns looked the same, but you were in awe with just how beautifully similar, they were.
She seemed to examine you further than she had before, you couldn't tell if she was judging or admiring. All you knew was that this was definitely one of the weirdest experiences in your entire life, seeing a dead alien while not being dead yourself. You didn't even know if you were dreaming anymore, this felt to real and you didn't even know her name.
"My name is (y/n), I'm not sure if we've ever been introduced properly. I've only heard Adam mention you one time, but he never-" she interposed you with a soft smile, that caused that familiar feeling to rise in your chest again that this was still something very few experienced.
"Ayesha... the Priestess of the Sovereign." She gently held your cheek, but lighter than before. "I apologize for my son, and the pain he caused you and your... family. Please don't take my mistake out on him any longer, I can see just how much you are fighting yourself to keep him away from the deepest confines of your heart."
You wanted to interrupt, to say that it just wouldn't work because of your personal pain and fears no matter how much you wanted it, but she hushed you with her next words. "Your powers may be dormant due to your fear of being vulnerable again. My advice to you is to let yourself be free no matter who or if it hurts. I can see the inner turmoil of wanting to keep the past in your future, but your future is brighter than the powers you wield even if you end up without my son at your side."
You could see the tears slipped down her cheeks, and you could feel your breath get caught in your throat at the sight. The clear tears made her skin glow and the flash of Adam on that beach crossed your vision. The burn in your throat and itch in your eyes made you hold her hand on your cheek, pushing your face further into her palm. You wanted to tell her you will; to tell her anything but you couldn't even move your mouth to speak as she was fading from existence right in front of you and all you could do was watch and listen to her distance screams from the void of your mind.
"You're losing to much—I can't—oh God no... Wake up, please wake up, wake up, please!"
