Alternatively, Kabuto coli

My collection of rare, incurable diseases! VIOLATED!

[thekeyistree]

hey now hey now. let’s take a moment to appreciate all the germs that exist in our world. let’s a take a moment to appreciate how much sexier the world is with germs than without them.

[escherichiakabuto]

See, this guy gets it!

[thekeyistree]

yes1 madara doesn’t believe in the beauty of germs and all throughout our married life i never could get him to agree with me… but enough about him son would you like to come to the botanical gardens with me/ i hear they’ve got a fantastic case of crown gall they haven’t been able to get under control.

[escherichiakabuto]

Sorry, I’m not feeling too great... I tried making some influenza vaccines from scratch, but then, like a klutz, I dropped the eggs incubating the virus on the floor and the viruses got loose... Now Obito and I have the flu but I guess Edotenseis can’t get sick because Madara seems fine. When I told him all he said was “THE ONLY REASON GOD DOESN’T ERASE YOU FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH IS BECAUSE YOU AMUSE HIM SOMEHOW”... :(

[thekeyistree]

hey now hey now. let’s take a moment to appreciate all the germs that exist in our world. let’s a take a moment to appreciate how much sexier the world is with germs than without them.

[escherichiakabuto]

See, this guy gets it!

[thekeyistree]

i think my pussy hurts because i am sad what do i do

[thekeyistree]

wait no this was supposed to be sent to ask jeeves delete post delete

[escherichiakabuto]

Hi Hashirama! Have you heard of a protozoan called "Trichomonas vaginalis"? Little creatures that get in your pussy? I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling blue, but I don't think that's the cause of your coochie hurting. Though, I am on short supply of these li'l Trichs, and they say that giving to others will bring you joy as well... I'm just saying that if you hand those little guys over to me, you can kill two birds with one stone...

[escherichiakabuto]

It's a leap year, so my birthday is on the calendar this year. 

I’ll be 24, or 96 if you count the other years as well.

[escherichiakabuto]

Obito doesn't seem to appreciate when I show him pictures of rotten gangrene feet, but I think he's just jealous since I'd find him much hotter if he had gangrene.

[escherichiakabuto]

E. coli are harmless until some bacteriophage comes by to rewrite their DNA and plant a seed of evil. Kind of like Obito and Madara...

[madaracoochieha]

OF COURSE I'M TWEETING AMIDST FIGHTING IN OBITO'S DUMBASS WAR OF COURSE I AM I'M MADARA FUCKING UCHIHA DUMBASS

[halfplanthalfjackass]

Madara this is Tumblr it’s not called tweeting shitass

[madaracoochieha]

DO YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE I FUCKING CARE OBITO DO YOU TRULY BELIEVE DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART THAT I GIVE A SHIT FUCK ALL THIS NEWFANGLED SHIT BUY ANAL CUNT’S NEW ALBUM WAIT WHAT YEAR IS IT DOES ANAL CUNT STILL PERFORM SEE THIS IS WHY THIS ASSCRACK WORLD HAS TO GODDAMN END WE DON’T HAVE ANAL CUNT ANYMORE

[escherichiakabuto]

Hi Madara! Caster of the Edotensei here. You see that button on the left of your keyboard with the glowing dot? The one labeled “caps lock”? Do us all a favor and press it so the light turns off, if you would. Thank you!

[escherichiakabuto]

Tapeworms are overrated, if you ask me. Where's the love for blood flukes? Giant kidney worms?

[escherichiakabuto]

Wanna pet my snake? It doesn’t have salmonella, I promise...