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Whenever I see anyone criticising James, there’s always someone in the notes responding with “well, Snape was worse!! *insert quote we’ve all heard before here*”

Look.

This isn’t just about James vs. Severus. They are both problematic characters who did awful things - though the motivations behind their behaviour were vastly different.

The point is, taking Snape out of the equation altogether, James was still a horrible person.

He derived joy from bullying other students, particularly Severus, who was an outcast and therefore an easy target. James was from a rich, privileged background, and knew he could get away with treating Severus like shit purely because of his family name. He was literally made Head Boy despite having a reputation for hexing people. This was a kid who never faced any consequences for his actions and was used to getting what he wanted. Which moves on to my next point -

James felt he was entitled to Lily, and he was going to have her whether she wanted him or not. He literally tries to blackmail her into dating him, claiming he’ll stop bullying Severus - her friend - if she’ll go out with him. When he first met Petunia, he couldn’t hold his tongue for one dinner without antagonising Vernon, which upset Lily greatly. Yes, Vernon is an asshole, but if James really cared about his girlfriend, he could have been on his best behaviour for one night. When I have no doubt that he genuinely had feelings for Lily, his own ego seemed to always come first.

Perhaps if James hadn’t died young, he might have changed his ways. It’s possible, but we’ll never know. What we do know is that even after he began a relationship with Lily, he was still a vile bully, and Lily was either oblivious to it or turned a blind eye. James’s pursuit of Lily was toxic, and it’s sad to see how romanticised it is in the fandom. It’s almost like people’s blind hatred for Snape makes them excuse everything James did because “well, Snape was worse!”

@potters-little-ferret Bullshit. In that dinner story James was in the right while Vernon was the one who was clearly in the wrong.

Actually read what I wrote. I literally acknowledged that Vernon was being an asshole. But if James truly cared about Lily’s feelings, he would have grin and bore it for one evening. We’ve all had to interact with people we don’t like, but if you truly love somebody, you’d keep your remarks to yourself because you know this dinner means a lot to them. Instead, James put his ego first and ended up really upsetting Lily.

@potters-little-ferret First of all, standing up for yourself and for your girlfriend is never egotistical, it shows that you never let people like Vernon and Petunia (who has always treated her sister like crap) walk all over you. If people like the Dursleys (who are horrible to everyone in general) start to make insulting and disgusting remarks about not only yourself but also your girlfriend with the intention to humiliate you, then they shouldn’t get pissy when they are stood up to. James and anyone else in his position will always be in the right in such a situation.

You’re missing the entire point here - he didn’t consider Lily’s feelings. Yes, you have the right to stand up for yourself when other people are shitty to you. But when your partner has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to cause a scene and keep the peace, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just keep your mouth shut.

I’m not criticising James for standing up for himself, I’m criticising him for his inability to think of anyone but himself. He considered it more important to one up Vernon rather than swallow his pride for Lily’s sake. The fact he apologised to her when the night was over shows that he knew he fucked up.

@potters-little-ferret And there is nothing in the text that indicates Lily didn’t want to cause a seen and there is no record of her (or anyone else) ever blaming James for what happened. If you think James was being prideful for standing up to Vernon, then you might as well also call people like Arthur Weasley, Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Mad Eye (who’ve all stood up to Vernon) prideful people as I see no difference between how they stood up to Vernon and how James stands up to Vernon (in fact I think James was too lenient). And I’ll tell you something, if this meeting had occurred between James and Lily and both of Lily’s parents (who were nothing like Vernon or Petunia) then that meeting would have been the polar opposite of the meeting with the Dursleys!

Nothing had to be said, it’s just common sense. Lily already had a strained relationship with her sister, so it’s not hard to imagine that she wanted the evening to go well. And where did I say she blamed him? Lmao. It doesn’t matter if she didn’t blame him, she was upset and it was partly James’s fault.

You’re not going to change my mind on this.

@potters-little-ferret So what else is James's fault? Are you now going to blame James for what happened in Godric's Hollow? Are you going to blame James for Sirius being framed and put in Azkaban? Are you going to blame James for Neville's parents being tortured? Are you going to blame James for Remus's lycanthropy? Are you going to blame James for the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East? Are you going to blame James for literally everything?

James And Lily Potter’s Marriage = Unbelievable?

Agree with @black-aliss. Also think that James Potter and Lily Evans got married way too fast that it didn’t seem all that believable or realistic.

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Whenever I see anyone criticising James, there’s always someone in the notes responding with “well, Snape was worse!! *insert quote we’ve all heard before here*”

Look.

This isn’t just about James vs. Severus. They are both problematic characters who did awful things - though the motivations behind their behaviour were vastly different.

The point is, taking Snape out of the equation altogether, James was still a horrible person.

@potters-little-ferret Bullshit. In that dinner story James was in the right while Vernon was the one who was clearly in the wrong.

@potters-little-ferret And there is nothing in the text that indicates Lily didn't want to cause a seen and there is no record of her (or anyone else) ever blaming James for what happened. If you think James was being prideful for standing up to Vernon, then you might as well also call people like Arthur Weasley, Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Mad Eye (who've all stood up to Vernon) prideful people as I see no difference between how they stood up to Vernon and how James stands up to Vernon (in fact I think James was too lenient). And I'll tell you something, if this meeting had occurred between James and Lily and both of Lily's parents (who were nothing like Vernon or Petunia) then that meeting would have been the polar opposite of the meeting with the Dursleys!

James And Lily Potter’s Marriage = Unbelievable?

Agree with @black-aliss. Also think that James Potter and Lily Evans got married way too fast that it didn’t seem all that believable or realistic.

Keep reading

Whenever I see anyone criticising James, there’s always someone in the notes responding with “well, Snape was worse!! *insert quote we’ve all heard before here*”

Look.

This isn’t just about James vs. Severus. They are both problematic characters who did awful things - though the motivations behind their behaviour were vastly different.

The point is, taking Snape out of the equation altogether, James was still a horrible person.

@potters-little-ferret Bullshit. In that dinner story James was in the right while Vernon was the one who was clearly in the wrong.

@potters-little-ferret First of all, standing up for yourself and for your girlfriend is never egotistical, it shows that you never let people like Vernon and Petunia (who has always treated her sister like crap) walk all over you. If people like the Dursleys (who are horrible to everyone in general) start to make insulting and disgusting remarks about not only yourself but also your girlfriend with the intention to humiliate you, then they shouldn't get pissy when they are stood up to. James and anyone else in his position will always be in the right in such a situation.

James And Lily Potter’s Marriage = Unbelievable?

Agree with @black-aliss. Also think that James Potter and Lily Evans got married way too fast that it didn’t seem all that believable or realistic.

Keep reading

Whenever I see anyone criticising James, there’s always someone in the notes responding with “well, Snape was worse!! *insert quote we’ve all heard before here*”

Look.

This isn’t just about James vs. Severus. They are both problematic characters who did awful things - though the motivations behind their behaviour were vastly different.

The point is, taking Snape out of the equation altogether, James was still a horrible person.

#harry potter #james & peter & remus & sirius #james fleamont potter #james potter #lily evans #marauders #gryffindor #mischief managed #quidditch #order of the phoenix #potter family #potterhead

@potters-little-ferret Bullshit. In that dinner story James was in the right while Vernon was the one who was clearly in the wrong.

Reaction to a possible story centred around James Potter

I wonder how people would react to a prequel centred around James Potter being the main/central character in a story about either the Potter family or the Marauders under James's POV (especially given that from what I've seen on social media, James isn't exactly the most popular "good character"). Would the fandom love it or would they riot at the thought of a James-centred story (especially if James is portrayed as a "salt of the earth" type guy that everyone (except Snape and the Dursleys) talks about)?

Werewolf Prank - Is It Only Sirius Black’s Fault?

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I’m reblogging this old post because I’d like to clarify a few things. I just got an email about this post getting some notes. I hadn’t gotten any before, so I hadn’t known that this post had any likes and reblogs.

Okay, first of all, I’d like to address the “victim blaming” note this post has gotten. I’d like to clarify that I’m not saying the Marauders aren’t at fault for what happened. They are at fault, particularly James Potter and Sirius Black.

They are bullies, and I’m not blaming Severus Snape for being bullied. If you’ve read my other posts about Snape and the Marauders, you’ll see that I’m actually on Severus’ side here.

Here are some posts to illustrate this:

Why The Mraduers Are Said To Be Bullies?

Did James Potter Really Mature?

Severus Snape’s Worst Memory - A Short Discussion

I wrote this particular post because some things about the werewolf prank scene just didn’t make sense to me. Let’s focus on Severus first since he was the focus of that old post.

Snape is supposed to be a Slytherin, and Slytherins are known for being cunning. Snape was also known to be intelligent and brilliant.

IMHO, he was acting kind of OOC when he went to the Whomping Willow at Sirius Black’s prompting, hence all the questions on that old post about why he would go there.

I want to understand his mindset here because it doesn’t seem to be making sense. Sirius is his enemy. He hates Black. So why would he listen to him?

In one of the notes from this post, @pro-lily-pro-snape-anti-snily said:

Why would Snape trust his enemy?

This was what I was trying to say in that old post. I wanted to understand why Snape would trust someone he hated, someone he considered his enemy because it didn’t seem to make sense.

Didn’t he consider the possibility that this could be a trap, that the Marauders may be planning to ambush him and hex him and prank him or something?

He’s dealt with them before, so he should know they hate him and are wont to prank him at seemingly every opportunity.

In the Snape’s Worst Memory scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, book 5 of the HP series by J.K. Rowling, we see how Severus reacts when he first notices the Marauders.

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@potter-plotholes This is absolute bullshit. It is canon that James Potter had no part in that prank and even Remus confirms this: "you're father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life."

Mr and Mrs Evans preferred James Potter more than Vernon Dursley, much to Petunia's jealousy and resentment

In late 1977, James met Lily's parents for the first time and they got along really well. Mr and Mrs Evans found James (who had a great sense of humour) very amusing and charming. Both of Lily's parents (especially her father) really loved James as if he were their son. Mr and Mrs Evans preferred James a lot more than they did Vernon and they got along a lot well with James than they ever did with Vernon, something which exacerbated Petunia's resentment and jealousy of her sister Lily even more. Had Mr and Mrs Evans been alive, their grandson Harry would have been dropped on their doorstep (and NOT the Dursley's) and they would have been loving grandparents to Harry and raised him like a son.

What are your thoughts on all this?

Top 5 worst and best fathers in Harry Potter

Worst fathers:

Marvolo Gaunt: People who only watched the movies probably have no idea who Marvolo Gaunt is. He gets skipped over there but is prominent in flashbacks we get in the books. For those unaware, he was Tom Riddle's (aka Voldemort) maternal grandfather. Marvolo had two children of his own, Morfin and Merope. Marvolo believed pure-blood wizards were better than everyone else. He was cruel, vile, and evil. That was especially true to his daughter Merope. He abused her to the point where she couldn't even use her magic anymore. Marvolo was one of the few characters in the series with zero redeeming qualities.

Tobias Snape: Although we don’t know much about Severus Snape's father, we have a bad feeling about him based on one remark from a young Severus to a young Lily: ‘he doesn’t like anything, much’. There is also the insinuation that Tobias Snape, a Muggle, was not a fan of magic despite having a child with a witch. Again, as Snape says, he doesn’t like anything much. We also know that Snape’s parents had frequent arguments – and when a young Lily asks Snape how ‘things are at your house’ – Snape simply responds with a ‘little crease’ between the eyes. Tobias had a very poor relationship with both his wife and his son. When Severus was younger, Tobias frequently shouted at Eileen, and would often hit her, whilst their son crouched in a corner, crying. Severus too was also physical abuse by Tobias. Tobias's treatment towards his son and wide caused the former to despise Muggles in general, given his contempt towards Petunia. The unhappy memories of the Snape home would haunt Severus into adulthood and it is what made Snape a bitter, contemptuous, cruel, and resentful person (the bullying only just added to this).

Barty Crouch Sr: This was a tough one to include because we don't know a ton about his time as a father. We do know that Barty Crouch was a decorated official, spoke hundreds of languages, and was an important member of the magical society. His son, Barty Crouch Jr., was a different story. His being a Death Eater might not be his dad's fault but it could have had an effect. We read about his poor treatment of his house elf and he might have been similar to his son. When Barty Crouch Jr. got in trouble, his dad didn't even try to hear him out. His reputation came before his child.

Lucius Malfoy: In a lot of ways, Lucius Malfoy is very similar to Vernon Dursley. Both men believe their kind is better than everyone else, both show disdain for Harry Potter, and both love their sons. Lucius spoiled Draco to the same level that Vernon did Dudley. He was motivated only by his desire to see his son succeed - only since he did this by means of hardness, we’re rather less inclined to let his behavior slide. Lucius was proud of Draco, certainly, but rarely displayed it with affection, and if he’d turn his tongue to sweetness even sometimes, his son might have grown up less obsessed with status and power. It was Lucius who set Draco against Harry, and Lucius who led his son under the wing of the Dark Lord, and Lucius who, until the very last minute, prioritized power over his family. A bad dad, if ever there was one.

Vernon Dursley: Here's a case of a dad being on the "worst" list and still being a loving father. From everything we see, Vernon Dursley adores his son Dudley. He is especially nasty to Harry and it is made clearer by how much he dotes on his son. But therein lies the problem. In reality – Vernon gave Dudley way too much leeway and he was feeding Dudley with the same flaws he had within himself, and by (alongside Petunia) spoiling Dudley with everything he ever wanted, he created a materialistic monster: an arrogant, petulant bully. The kid becames too overweight for his own health, demanded gifts from his parents, and showed nobody respect. That's because Vernon never did anything to stop it. He just believed his son was a "little tyke" and played off every issue Dudley had like it wasn't serious. How could he possibly have predicted that? Thankfully, it did turn out that Dudley had a thoughtful streak in him somewhere, as discovered when he shook Harry's hand upon his departure from Privet Drive – so his father-taught morals can’t have been 100-per-cent poor.

Honorable mentions for worst fathers: Tom Riddle Sr, Phineas Nigellus Black, Cygnus Black II, Arcturus Black II, Cygnus Black III, Orion Black.

Best fathers:

Arthur Weasley: Considering how many children Arthur Weasley has, it's a good thing he's such a great father. Arthur is pure in more than just his magical blood. He's a genuinely nice guy with a lovable affinity for all things muggle related. But his most endearing quality is how good of a dad he is. Arthur is always there for all seven of his kids and he takes Harry in like a member of the family. You can count on Arthur to give a pep talk, stand up and fight Lucius Malfoy, or crack a dad joke. He is the ideal father figure of the entire story and showed it to many of the characters. It’s testament to his fantastic fathering that he managed to lend his likeness to no fewer than seven siblings – and that none of them turned out terrible.

Amos Diggory: We first met Amos Diggory in the early stages of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. He greeted the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione on the way to the Quidditch World Cup. There, he bragged and boasted about his son Cedric. It was kind-hearted and just a case of being a proud papa. From everything that we see, Amos Diggory is a great dad. He has a close relationship with Cedric and he raised a tremendous kid. Cedric was smart, respectful, and humble. When Cedric was murdered by Lord Voldemort, Amos' reaction is one of the saddest moments in the entire series. He was devastated by the loss of the son he loved more than anything else.

James Potter: It can be difficult to place James Potter here because he was deprived of his chance to be a proper father to Harry, dying at the hands of Voldemort as he attempted to defend his wife and infant son. But from what we learn about James, he was a fantastic father to his infant son. Especially when you consider how he handled Harry being in danger. James chose to stay back and fight against Lord Voldemort to protect his son, and that's a fight he knew he would lose, yet he took it on anyway for his child. The mere fact of his self-sacrifice would have been enough to get him on this list, but even after death he proved himself to be a devoted guardian to Harry. He appeared to him in the Mirror of Erised, the manifestation of Harry’s heart’s desire; he emerged from the tip of Voldemort’s wand and even as a shadow attempted to help his only offspring survive; and the Resurrection Stone brought him back for a final time, when he gave Harry the strength he needed to survive his last, terrible battle. Even Harry would roll his eyes at the idea that James lived on in him – but it’s true, and we need only look to Snape's unabated loathing as proof. Harry later avenged his father when he killed Voldemort at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. It's also seen that James calls Harry by a name of affection, he has on different occasions referred to him as "son". Harry eventually named is eldest son in honour of his father and godfather, James Sirius Potter.

Xenophilius Lovegood: His parenting techniques might have been somewhat ad hoc, but there is no denying that Xenophilius did all he could to be a good father to Luna. He raised her, mostly, alone, he guarded her from Wrackspurts, and even if he did bring paraphernalia into their home that could have blown them both apart, he didn’t mean to, and that’s the main thing. Betrayal of the Chosen One isn’t something we’d usually highlight as a laudable quality in a wizard (it’s actually largely frowned upon, except by certain Slytherins) but the depth of his devotion to his unusual daughter was highlighted in Deathly Hallows, where he orchestrated the near capture of Harry in a desperate attempt to save Luna.

Lyall Lupin: Yes, you may be surprised to see Lyall here, seeing as it was due to his unfortunate run-ins with Fenrir Greyback that Remus Lupin first became a werewolf. But this kind man, who married a Muggle, spent his entire life looking for a cure for his son – and loving him, despite his lycanthropic little problem that he inadvertently caused. Suffice to say, Lyall made a mistake getting on the wrong side of Fenrir, but never stopped seeking redemption.

Honorable mentions for best fathers: Ted Tonks, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter (no Cursed Child), Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin.

pro-lily-pro-snape-anti-snily-d

I see Arthur Pendragon and James Potter as very similar people.

Both the good and the bad in Arthur Pendragon, I thought wow he fits very closely to my own interpretation of James Potter.

snakebitcat

Arthur Pendragon didn’t bully and sexually assault anybody.

Very similar does not equal EXACTLY THE SAME.

Thank you.

snakebitcat

Arthur isn’t a bully. That makes him significantly different from James.

pro-lily-pro-snape-anti-snily-d

https://pro-lily-pro-snape-anti-snily.tumblr.com/post/176358678419/harrypotterconfessions-i-see-arthur-pendragon

Like idgaf if you want to see James character as ONLY a bully. But that’s how I see James’ character. Sorry not sorry.

snakebitcat

James spent seven years bullying and abusing Snape “because he exists”, and continued doing it past the point when he promised Lily that he would stop.

After graduation, James engaged in muggle-baiting - the Pottermore story about him and Sirius and the muggle police officers, for example. And James was the one who escalated things between him and Vernon to the point that Lily and Petunia no longer had any real sort of relationship left.

So I can’t agree with you on this.

#harry potter #harry james potter #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #marauders #gryffindor #order of the phoenix #prisoner of azkaban

@snakebitcat What a load of old bullshit. James didn't do anything to provoke or insult the Dursley's. All James just did was telling Vernon that he has gold at Gringotts and that's when the date ended badly. Don't blame James for Vernon Dursley being an asshole.

Symbolism of the Marauders

Remus - "Moony": Wolves, similarly to dogs, signify valour and guardianship, as well as a strong sense of family and loyalty. In the study of dreams, werewolves often represent an inner struggle or battle. This is certainly the case with Lupin, considering his desire to be accepted by his trouble-making friends and his desire to repay Dumbledore's chance to attend Hogwarts often collide. Furthermore, Roman mythology tells the story about two boys named Romulus and Remus, who were abandoned in the woods by their mother, and raised by wolves. Romulus was a nickname Remus Lupin uses as coverage on the radio, in the last book. Remus, much like a wolf, essentially communally rears his friend's son, as communal raising of pups is common practice in wolf packs, with Remus being a member of James's pack in a sense.

Peter - "Wormtail": The rat is the emblem of uncleanliness and impurity. Since the times of the plague in the 14th century, their quiet nature often has connotations of sneakiness. Note that Pettigrew does not become a snake, who have largely the same symbolism as rats. This is good evidence that he was not a Slytherin at school. Also, 'rat' is slang for snitch or informant, and, in his later life, Pettigrew did indeed inform Voldemort where the Potters were hiding. Rats are also common prey for snakes, which does end up being the case. Pettigrew meets his end by suffocating himself - which is one way that snakes kill - by the silver hand given to him by Voldemort whose emblem is a snake.

Sirius - "Padfoot": The dog is the emblem of faithfulness, loyalty, courage, vigilance, and guardianship. Dogs are considered man's best friend and this definitely proves true in the case of Sirius and James. The name Sirius derives from the star, which is traditionally known as the dog star. The dog star is often used by sailors and navigators to follow as a safe and trustworthy passage, similar to the way Harry, Ron, and Hermione, along with Ginny, Neville, and Luna, trust Sirius so much they follow him deep into the Ministry even though the trial was a red herring. The surname, Black, is not only the colour of his animagus but also a reference to the expression "the black sheep", which describes his role in relation to his family. Sirius could be considered the deputy of the Marauders as James and Sirius were the closest to each other.

James - "Prongs": The stag is symbolic of pride, masculinity, nobility, and power. The image of a stag was used quite often by old English kings and many other kinds of rulers. The stag is fitting for James, as within the Marauders he upholds a sort of leadership and power.

Disowned members of the House of Black

Disowned members of the Black family have had their images burnt/blasted off the family tapestry and their descendants’ names were not even included on the tree. Disowned members’ birth/death dates were never even recorded on the family tree.

Eduardus Limette Black: Unknown reasons

Iola Hitchens (née Black): Marrying a muggle named Bob Hitchens

Phineas Black II: Supporting Muggle rights

Marius Black: Being a Squib

Cedrella Weasley (née Black): Marrying the blood traitor Septimus Weasley

Andromeda Tonks (née Black): Marrying a muggle-born Ted Tonks

Sirius Black III: Being a blood traitor, being sorted into Gryffindor, and finally, running away to the blood traitor Potter family

Alphard Black: Financially supporting his disowned runaway nephew Sirius Black III

NOTE: Cedrella and Septimus had three sons, one of whom is Arthur Weasley.

#Harry Potter #Sirius Black #james & peter & remus & sirius #marauders #house of black #black family #harry potter fan club #jk rowling #harrypotterconfessions

How would the conversation among Severus Snape and Lily and James Potter be in the afterlife?

Here’s how I imagine would go:

Snape arrives in afterlife. Then someone runs up to him and slaps him across the face. Lily is furious.

Snape: Lily?

Lily: You don’t get to call me that you disgusting bastard!

Snape: I protected your son!

Lily: (Laugh coldly) Since when is “protect” to make him feel as miserable as he can, humiliate him, be totally unfair to him?

Snape: I did that all for you!

Lily: For me? For me! No. You did that because you were obsessed over me. You deprived my son his chance of family and the least you could have done is treat him fairly. I didn’t expect you to treat him like a king. Was it so hard to treat him fairly?

James: That’s enough Lily. (Looks at Snape) You’re sick you know that? I know I bullied you at school but tell me. What did Harry do to you? You punished a son for his father’s wrong doings? A father he never got to meet because you ran along to your master to tell him the prophecy?

James and Lily walks away together. Sirius comes and says “You’re an amazing Occlumency teacher. You know that?” and spits at him. Remus and Nymphadora just looks at him coldly, Mad Eye looks at him with disdain.

Dobby comes and says “You is a bad teacher! For hurting Great Harry Potter sir!” Charity Burbage punches him in the face “How does it feel to get killed by a snake? Not pleasant right?”

Fred comes and sniggers. “Snivellus? Never knew that before.” and the victims of the first war all give them handful of yelling. “Death eater scum!” (Snape had no problem being a death eater in the first war until Lily was involved.)

Finally, Longbottom family comes, cracking their knuckles. “What did Neville ever do to you?”

Yes, Snape did good things, but he was only ever on the good side for selfish reasons. But he also did countless bad things. Just saying “Hey, you saved my son! Thanks! (hug)” just doesn’t make sense to me.

The hatred that Ben/Ballum fans have for Kathy is disgusting. Kathy is regularly bashed on Twitter by them, no matter what she does. Grow up!

#kathy beale #ben mitchell #ballum #eastenders #callum highway #ben and callum #ben x callum

beautifulhigh

I am actually loving this angst between Ben and Callum because it’s so character driven. It’s easy to understand how Ben’s traumatic childhood has made him so sure that he can’t be loved. And I think that his parents are still contributing to it. He went to Kathy very upset and heartbroken and Kathy’s reaction was basically what have you done now and she blamed Ben for the problems without asking what’s really going on. Plus I think that Ben still blames himself for Paul’s death and thinks that everyone he loves dies/is ruined. I hope that Ben and Callum discuss this because they haven’t really discussed Paul and Ben’s commitment issues at least onscreen so it might be good to do it before the wedding. I loved that Callum told Ben that he makes him happy and they have actually shown that pretty consistently. Callum is so much happier now, well perhaps not right now but you know what I mean, than when I started watching EE two years ago. Plus Callum has never been quite as innocent as Ben seems to think.

seeing thIndeed.

Ben is trying so hard to break the cycle of his childhood. He’s Phil Mitchell’s son, of course he is, and that’s why people like Jack honestly think that he will fall into the family line with a simple gruff “eh” from his dad. And he’s been through enough to have made him hard and angry and bitter.

Childhood illness with long term disability. Coming out storyline, murdered boyfriend. A baby he originally wanted nothing to do with. Manslaughter, prison, a dead mum and then a not-dead mum.

Ben Mitchell has been trying to find out where he fits in because he’s not like his dad, he’s not the same kind of Mitchell that Phil is/was or would have wanted his son to be. He’s not like his brother Ian (for which we are VERY grateful) but then it means he’s not exactly got a welcoming family there. His only real friend is Jay who is kinda a Mitchell but also not and with the whole Jay/Lola dynamic it’s all very much “brother from another mother” thing. But Jay doesn’t have the Mitchell streak and he’s definitely not lining up to smash someone’s head in for looking twice as his girl.

It’s only been Lexi that has been his anchor once he stepped up to be a dad to her. He is so driven and so focused on her, on being the best for her, on providing for her. He is open and unreserved with his love and affection for her, he won’t deny her anything (even if it’s a face full of makeup). He set out the one stall that he had control over and labelled it “Be a good dad” and he has tried, so so hard, to be that and do that.

Then along comes Callum. Closeted Callum who Ben sold a dodgy van to and then was able to use that closeted fear to his advantage in that regard. He got the fear of coming out though, he got how that is scary. He got what it was like to have this secret because you were surrounded by people who “wouldn’t want” you to be like that (in your mind anyway).

Ben has lines, he has limits, and this is one of them. This wasn’t a way to hurt or manipulate Callum but a shared experience they could have. And somewhere along the line Ben realised how fucking fit Callum was and so it was easy to slip into flirting. Little bit of a power play, having some fun...

And then shit got serious.

Neither of them set out to fall in love with the other, they just saw something that worked and someone that they wanted. But Ben is still the product of his 25 years and he’s still got more baggage than a carousel at Heathrow Airport in the Before Times. He still sees his failings and the ways he’s not measuring up. He sees Callum and his smile and his heart and how he almost married Whitney because he didn’t want to hurt her by calling off the wedding. He sees the guy who walked into a train tunnel to save his nephew, who wanted to become a police officer to help others. His ex-army guy. Callum helps others, Ben helps himself.

Ben went into this relationship thinking that they embodied the Ying-Yang symbol: Ben was black, Callum was white. Bad and good, wrong and right. But with the Ying-Yang symbol there’s a bit of the opposite in the other.

Callum’s always been capable of doing harm. He cheated on Whitney and he lied to her. Marrying her would have been the worst thing for them both. He has used his job to protect Ben where he can, he beat up Danny Hardcastle and set up his stall to protect Ben (and by extension Lexi). Ben told him, outright, that he couldn’t go back to jail and so that was Callum’s mission.

Ironically, it’s the little bit of white in Ben, the bit of good in him which has caused him to react this way. He wants to do right by this man that he loves, this man that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Even though he’s dating a copper, even though he’s not the soppy one he’ll still stand on a freezing balcony with a massive bunch of roses. Get rings with “together forever” (probably) engraved in them. But he thinks he’s bad for Callum so he can’t do it. If Ben thought that he was a bad influence on Lexi he’d walk away from her in a heartbeat so lord help us all when she sets up a protection racket at school.

Every time Ben has had something good in his life it has been pulled away from him, tragically and suddenly and painfully. And I would put good money on that fear still being there - even when Callum tells him that he will be “suited and booted” on Monday. He wants to believe that he and Cal can make it, he loves him enough to be sure that they stand a good chance.

He still sees Callum as this good guy, this whiter-than-white soul who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s not paid attention to all of the times that when it comes to protecting those people that Callum cares about the most - from Whitney to Stuart to Ben - there is nothing that he won’t do, even if it goes against who he seems to be.

#benmitchell #ballum #kathybeale #eastenders

This anonymous user is talking complete bullshit. Last week we had Kathy attempting to be a decent mother to shithead Ben and yet she is getting grief from all angles online from his melty little fans like that anonymous user. Hang on a minute; I’m not being funny but Kathy, for all her faults, is 100 times the parent that Phil could ever hope to be. Yes she let him down. But she’s warm and loving and knows Ben well enough to give him a talking to when needed. With Ben (knowing full well what her son is like) she’ll offer tough love but also real love. Tired of reading how she’s damaging “poor little Ben”. Ben won’t go into details about what’s happened with Callum so she’s got nothing to work with, yet she’s still trying to stick up for and support both of them. The Ballum stuff is so ugh...

Ben/Ballum like this anonymous user are hating unfairly on Kathy. I didn’t see any malice in Kathy’s words, she came across kind. They're acting like she tore into him, but she didn’t. My mother used to say what have you done (hardly blaming someone), it’s not soul destroying 🙄. Tired of reading how she’s damaging “poor little Ben”.

Kathy gets slated constantly and unfairly by Ben/Ballum fans like this anonymous user. The only thing she gets praise for is looking good, being with Bobby and if she even panders to Ben (even the praise of her supporting Mila seemed to be focused on the fact she brought up Ben being gay). Online Kathy seems to be treated as the woman who gave birth to Ben, totally ignoring how she is a fantastic character in her own right, and she gets slated the second she strays from being Ben’s mum as her only trait. She knows Ben gets up to no good, I don’t think she’s even aware of how truly awful he his. She let him off with leaving his own brother to die. Yet she’s awful for not babying Ben? And we are meant to cheer on Ben making very damaging (using a term I’ve seen bandied around frequently this week) comments about her abusive relationship. And making damaging comments to Martin about Bex’s attempted suicide. And being part of human trafficking which will be extremely damaging to the victims. And holding a woman in labour at gun point whilst in labour which is probably a damaging memory (I’ve even seen tweets laughing about it). @beautifulhigh

doof-doofblog

"It's Not Yours!"

Tuesday 4th May 2021

Hello again everyone and good morning! I’m up bright and early today to make sure I get this post up! So in the previous post I recalled everything I had caught up on, and Monday’s episode ended on a bit of a cliff-hanger. Now Callum has revealed everything to Ben, are they going to be able to move on from this?! I’m really looking forward to finding out, so without further ado, lets focus on the episode!

The first thing I’m going to mention of course is Ben & Callum! Ben appears to be seething after learning the truth about Callum’s betrayal to his family. Even though we all know that Callum was blackmailed into going behind the Mitchell’s back, he tries his absolute best to explain himself to Ben. But the one thing that Ben wants to know is who was behind it, as he slams the dining room table in anger he demands Callum tells him truth. Realising he’s going to have to come clean, Callum admits that it was Thompson who was behind everything. Ben begins to panic, asking him what he actually knows or what he’s been told. But Callum swears that Thompson knows nothing and he hasn’t told them anything.

As things escalate, Callum tries to persuade Ben that if they still love each other they can both get through anything together, but for Ben there seems to be no way back from this. He can’t seem to fathom that he’s been sharing his bed with someone who has betrayed his family and basically become a grass. Later on, as Ben takes some time to breathe and digest what he’s just learnt, he take a visit to his Mum’s. Kathy can see that Ben isn’t looking in the best of moods considering he’s due to be married soon. As Ben makes a slight comment stating that she shouldn’t have bothered collecting the wedding rings, Kathy sits beside her son and demands an explanation. Ben doesn’t really tell her very much, only that Callum has lied to him about something, but Kathy finds that hard to believe and questions whether her own son is has played a guilty part in any way. She actually gives her son some good advice - Callum is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, if he loves him he needs to sort things out before their wedding!

As Ben listens to his Mum, he returns to the Mitchell household where Callum is anxiously waiting for him. But this time, there is no raised voices and no arguing, Ben is more quiet this time. In my opinion, it looks as if Ben blames himself for the way Callum has become. He recalls that when they first met, Callum was sweet and honest and terrible liar, but since he’s been with him, Ben seems to think that he’s somehow turned his fiancé into something he’s not. Callum shakes his head, not believing a word that’s coming out of Ben’s mouth. Ben still voices his concern of not being good enough for Callum, claiming that at some point in the future he will hurt Callum, possibly more than once - not that he’ll ever mean to but at some point, Callum will end up hurt. Callum refuses to listen to his partner and asks him straight out whether he loves him or not. Even though Ben admits that he does love Callum, he announces that regardless of that - there isn’t going to be a wedding! Could this really be the end of Ballum? Will Ben be able to forgive his partner and actually end up marrying the one person he truly loves?!

–

The next thing I have to mention is Isaac, we saw that he flushed his medication down the drain - are things slowly taking a turn for Isaac now he’s off his medication? Whilst he’s sat in the Cafe, he seems to be staring at the missing poster of Bailey - but suddenly he begins to rip down every poster he finds as he realises that they’ve missed a digit on the phone number. Everyone seems shocked by this action, especially Lola. Even though Isaac explains why he’s ripped down the posters, it looks as if Lola questions whether ripping them down was the best idea? He could’ve simply taken them down without ripping them or just simply penned in the missing digit?

As Keegan and Bernie continue searching the streets for Bailey, Keegan is saddened to see one of their posters ripped. Bernie tries to console Keegan by explaining that it could’ve been immature kids. But as they go off on their separate ways, Keegan witnesses Isaac ripping down more posters. As anger boils up inside him he rushes after him and confronts him about why he’s ripping down their posters. Once again Isaac notifies him that he was doing them a favour because they missed a digit. As Keegan checks over the poster he realises his mistake, his anger evaporates and turns into worry, speculating that people might’ve been trying to call trying to notify them that Bailey had been seen or even found. As Keegan apologises for his outburst, Isaac is completely understanding saying that he would’ve reacted exactly the same way.

However as the day goes on, Lola decides to pay her boyfriend a visit, only as she walks in she can see that he’s looked like he’s not slept and is completely obsessed over finding Bailey. Could these small signs be the sign of a breakdown for Isaac? Lola pleads that her boyfriends gets some rest otherwise his meds won’t work. However as soon as she mentions his medication, Isaac goes cold and she can see that he’s hiding something from her. He realises that he can’t keep this secret from her and informs her that he’s stop taking his medication, but he’s feeling fine! Lola seems shocked to hear this news and questions whether it’s the right thing to do, to make sure that Isaac will be okay without his medication, she makes him promise to inform his doctor about coming off his meds. But even though Isaac promises, I’ve got the feeling that he has no intention about informing his doctor or even his parents that he’s flushed his medication.

Meanwhile as the Taylor’s are still fretting about Bailey, Jack decides to inform them that another way of getting the word out there about Bailey’s disappearance would be to do a TV appeal. Even though Karen agrees to do it, Mitch doesn’t feel that it’ll make much difference and hides himself away whilst Karen tries to come up with a speech. Will Bailey be found safe and well?!

–

Now the last thing I have to mention of course is the Carter’s. As Nancy prepares to open up the gym with Sharon and Zack, Frankie pays her visit trying to inform her half-sister that she completely understands Linda’s worry, but also acknowledges that she’s on Nancy’s side. At the end of the day it’s her body and she can do what she wants, she just wants to be the supportive sister. This act of kindness seems to really touch Nancy, she thanks her half-sister and invites her to take part in a trial run of the electric bike. This is the moment where I think Nancy realises that she’ll always have a sister there to support her - which I found really sweet!

Only, without Nancy’s knowledge, her Mum has gone behind her back and gone to the clinic and cancelled her appointment. Linda of course only thinks she’s doing right by her daughter, but she needs to understand that it’s not her body, she can’t control Nancy’s life. Only as Linda tries to explain herself to the doctor, she becomes a little light-headed and has to take a rest. As the doctor offers to check her over to make sure she’s okay, Linda seems to realise what is actually happening to her - she seems to think she might be pregnant!

Returning back to the gym whilst Nancy and Frankie enjoy some sisterly bonding, Nancy receives a call and it looks as if it’s not the best news. As everyone comes together back at the Vic, Nancy is raging with anger and explaining the phone call she has had to her Dad, she’s learnt that her Mum has actually gone behind her back and cancelled her appointment. As Linda enters she tries to explain that she was only thinking of her daughter, but Nancy is furious, shouting at her Mum that she’s the one who actually shouldn’t be allowed kids! As Nancy walks out leaving Linda and Mick alone - Mick is also shocked to hear what his wife has done and claims that if it’s something that Nancy really wants, hopefully she’ll be able to rebook her operation.

Linda admits that all her life all she’s tried to do was be the best Mum and support her children, but then she states “Maybe I’ll get it right next time!” - Mick looks a bit confused and asks what she means by “Next time”. But the pin suddenly drops and Mick realises that Linda is informing him that she’s pregnant with her fifth child. Mick is completely over the moon, the look on his face is pure joy as he states that this is what the family has needed for a long time, a fresh start and a new little one in the family is just what they need, he joyously even thinks that Ollie would love having a little friend around, but then Linda drops the bombshell that she’s actually in fact 5 months pregnant - if the dates add up correctly, it might mean that Mick isn’t the father of the baby, and she could actually be pregnant with Max’s child!

Oooh gosh!!! This is going to cause more sadness between Mick and Linda isn’t it? Will she decide to keep the baby? Will Mick be able to stand by her if she’s carrying someone else’s child? We know that Kellie Bright is also pregnant herself and will be going on maternity leave at some point in the near future, but what could be her temporary exit story? I’ve got the feeling that maybe this could be it? Could this pregnancy come between the couple and will she feel the need to leave for a little while? Who knows? What do you guys think? I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the recent episode! Thank you all for reading! I am so happy to be back and I can’t wait to post up again very soon! Enjoy the rest of your day folks! Love you all xXx