Riddle Me This

“You righteous, reckless, twitchy little man” -NBC Hannibal, 2015 Magpie (or Mags). 22. Pronouns: it/its/itself. Ace/Aro. gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets. Hello everyone! This is my little trash can of a blog that I’ve had for way too long now. My interests are all over the place so don’t expect too much consistency. Enjoy!

[so-many-ocs]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

[tripp-pants-sora]

TVTropes gets made fun of a lot but it is a little astonishing how consistent that wiki's voice is. It's a great wiki to go to if you want to simulate having one specific autistic fifteen-year-old computer nerd infodump to you about any piece of media that exists. To be clear I am saying this as an overwhelmingly positive thing

[feetdavidson]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[feetdavidson]

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

[servalias]

oh my god the original out in the wild

[drdaanvondutch]

an old con gag that will always be funny is someone cosplaying spy from tf2 in a group of people and they've got a different cosplay taped to their face to blend in

[imgonnaeatthatglitter]

[man-i-love-green]

me, vibrating out of my skin : hey can I talk to you about this piece of media real quick? I pinky promise I'll be So Normal about it, like there's no reason to be concerned that this will turn into a three hour long monologue. Like I Prommy that I'm not gonna be a freak about it.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

nothing canon era fic writers could come up with will ever be as cruel as modern au fic writers putting these guys in the most basic modern scenarios. like he was born to live & die by the blade, his story was over before it began. and you made him take the bus and work a 9 to 5 job

[dcyiyou]

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[fotobilog]

[iwillreadyourbooks]

STOP! Let the little penguin cross your dash he has places to go.

[rotgospels]

is my human suffering sexy enough for you, God? is it getting you off king 

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like

[roach-works]

look, here’s the thing: alice in wonderland’s enduring fucking charm is that it perfectly captures the vibe of being a very tired and annoyed child who is nonetheless required to play along with adult nonsense.

alice is dragged from place to place without warning, forced to play stupid games with no good prizes, grilled over her schooling and manners and recitation and dress, scolded, judged, insulted to her face, sent away, given gifts she didn’t ask for and doesn’t like, corrected incorrectly, been subject to shifting and arbitrary rules, and then when she gets snappish with all this bullshit everyone acts like a little girl’s temper is the end of the fucking world.

alice in wonderland isn’t a drug trip or a nightmare or a metaphor, that’s just what being ten years old is LIKE. that’s why kids love it so much. even if they can’t quite articulate how, they recognize themselves in it.

[trans-pickles]

I'm gonna go ahead and add - the reaction image is barely even a joke. This is the original illustration of her at the Mad Hatter's tea party.

look at how fucking angry she is

[wickedsick]

Which Geometric Transformation is the Hottest?

Rotation

Translation

Uniform Scaling

Non-Uniform Scaling

Reflection

Shearing

Voting ended onMar 10

[bumpscosity]

[birdsareblooming]

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

[birdsareblooming]

holy shit is that kate bush

[shencomix]

THAT IS NOT "✨💖BABYGIRL💖✨"

THAT IS AN

EXTREMELY

and I want to be clear on this

EXTREMELY TRAUMATIZED

42 YEAR OLD MAN

[april]

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

[b0nkcreat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[b0nkcreat]

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

[b0nkcreat]

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

[cytherean-sunset]

[lurkiestvoid]

[willcraftapple11]

[heartbreakrevolver]

I was imagining "reverse creep radiohead" as a bit and now I can't stop thinking of "I wish you were special, I'm so fucking special" and laughing

[pomrania]

“This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it was written by a preteen, and most of such things posted publicly are fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it has a focus on character and relationships, like the style of a lot of modern fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it keeps referencing people and events with the assumption that the audience is already familiar with them, like how fanfic doesn’t need to rehash the source material)”

[pomrania]

Some further suggestions from the notes:

“This reads like fanfiction (it’s a love story for the ages as long as you can overlook that the author keeps misspelling ‘you're’)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (you can tell the author was having a blast writing this and now so do you reading it)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author is clearly info-dumping about a very niche hobby of theirs that they’re passionate about)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the characters keep getting put in increasingly weirder situations which you’d normally only find in fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author felt the need to rehash the characters from when they were first introduced instead of after several years’ worth of character growth)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it had no editor)”

[ryanthedemiguy]

“This reads like fanfiction (I’m pretty sure I can identify the filed off serial numbers)”