YOU ARE THE REASON
The Bowery Presents

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe

No title available
Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
h

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni

seen from Singapore
seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from Türkiye
seen from Tanzania
seen from Colombia
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Slovakia
seen from Poland

seen from Malaysia
seen from New Zealand
seen from United States
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seen from Canada

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seen from United Kingdom

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seen from Singapore
@eternally-exhausted-7
A butternut woollyworm ♡
@ahasiw-okitowin 💖
To this day, this is the only letterboxd review that I actually remember and in fact think about very often
sea shanty themes
hearing an old man saying something
Captain’s an asshole
Captain’s awesome (same captain)
first mate sucks
whiskey
the girls out here
the girls back home
ship is terrible
ship is great
Cape Horn
seriously why are we always running around Cape Horn this place sucks ass
want to go home
did NOT want to go home, somehow ended up there anyway
Sally and various sex acts we can do with her
beach party
rolling, heaving, hauling
where we’re bound
sea beasties threatening us and/or assisting us
stormy weather but we’re together
setting out to sea
coming in to harbor/taking shore leave
too much whiskey
punishing naughty crewmen
Let Me Tell You About This Guy
Goodbye!
Hello!
let us bother this fellow
oh man I should marry that one girl if I ever get back home
befriended an animal, call my parents if you don’t believe me!
you ever been to Place?
I have been grievously misled
sailors gotta sail
let’s get this bread, boys
don’t forget your old shipmate
faldee raldee raldee raldee rye-eye-doe
lilith here making the iron clad case for free public transport
imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora
you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out
I said what I said!
#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi)
It’s impossible to argue with anything above.
previous tags are on point: #hat ON archeology APPLIED tits OUT
Honestly, a slutsona that you only slip on when you're not talking to students is a slutsona that's being appropriately applied.
WAIT did I never tell tumblr about the haunted space waterpark hotel
in January 2018, I spent a couple of days in the town of Hutchinson, Kansas for work. I rolled into town and stopped at what appeared, from the outside, to be a normal motel just off the highway.
it was not.
I should add that I did not see a single other guest the entire time I was there, which intensified the whole vibe.
There is at least one thing to do in kansas
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
It is extremely rare that I get unintentionally rickrolled. It is extremely common that I look at a link and think to myself, that's a rickroll, and I click on it. Then I get to enjoy the satisfaction of being correct, as well as the entirety of Never Gonna Give You Up. That shit is a banger. If someone offers me a link directly to that song you think I'm not gonna take it? No. You know the rules and so do I. It's Astley time.
northernlion was reading out a sweet note his daughter wrote him in kindergarten that said "i know my dad loves me because he's my favorite person and i'm his favorite person" and someone commented "circular reasoning"
if ur lgbt+ im curious: if u can remember, what was your first major Gay Ship?
i think a lot of people would be happier if they realized they could just make an oc
the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.
incredible prev tags
does anybody have five dollars?
okay. hold onto it tightly. I think it may be the last
sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.
what should I listen to
women