is this thing on 🎤😟 heyyy i’ve lowkey abandoned this account buttt i miss writing and i would love to be active in here again 😫 what do yall think? is it time to bring back eumppattv…
࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ cute things they do in a relationship
enha ୨ৎ reader fluff headcanon masterlist engene zone an: requests are open!
heeseung ۶ৎ make you cute messages on minecraft
as the gamer he is, heeseung spends a lot of his free time on his pc. as the boyfriend he is, he spends even more time involving you in said gaming as much as he can. that’s why when you agreed to play with him, he left you a cute message in your world made with your favorite colored blocks. as time went on, any time you joined his game, he would leave a sweet message outside your shared home.
jay ۶ৎ add your voice to songs
jay was obsessed with every thing about you, but he had to admit your voice had a different effect on him. there was one day where he replayed a voicemail you left him over and over again, smiling to himself in his studio. that’s when he had the idea to add the voicemail to a song he was working on. since then he finds his favorite voice messages and voicemails you’ve sent him, and adds them as intros or background vocals to his tracks.
jake ۶ৎ makes layla bring you things
we all know layla is well trained as it is, but jake decided to take her training a step forward. it all started the day he asked you to be his gf, he had trained layla to bring you a basket with flowers, chocolate, and a letter asking you to be his. since then he gets layla to bring you flowers, or he will give her your bags to bring down the stairs. once he even got layla to bring you coffee, and you still don’t understand how it didn’t spill. it’s the cutest thing ever.
sunghoon ۶ৎ take off guard pics of you
as the photographer he is, sunghoon can’t help but capture the beauty in life. and everything about you was beautiful. he would often bring a small camera to your dates, waiting for the perfect opportunity to capture your essence. like the time you were on a picnic and he took a picture of you petting a dog that ran up to your spot. or the time you were watching a scary movie and he caught you mid scream, although you argue there was no beauty in that one.
sunoo ۶ৎ arrange skincare nights
when it comes to self care, sunoo is the master. he often gave you advice on what products to use, but you would find it difficult to find time for yourself. so, he decided to have skincare nights once a week, where you would do movie nights with face masks, or play games while doing clay masks. he would even apply all his products on you, because he wants to take care of you.
jungwon ۶ৎ pretending to propose while on walks
early into your relationship you figured out that jungwon loved going on walks in his free time- and you decided to accompany him. on one of these walks, you witnessed a proposal and made a joke about how bizarre it was to him. since then jungwon randomly gets on one knee when going on walks, and you laugh every single time. sometimes he would even add a speech, and you would pretend to say yes.
ni-ki ۶ৎ put on music and dance with you
as the dance prodigy he is, ni-ki’s life is not complete without some music. he will shower with music, sleep with music, and when you’re around he will dance with you. you’ll be baking cookies, and he will put some music and pull you away from the batter for a dance break. he’ll guide your body around, moving you to the beat. there’s times where he will play one of his songs, and teach you a small part of their choreography, praising you when you get it right.
enha ୨ৎ reader fluff headcanon masterlist engene zone
heeseung ⊂⊃ gaming cafe
you needed a day of relaxation, of doing something you loved- and gaming was just that. you made your way to your favorite gaming cafe, ordered some food and got to business. in walks heeseung, finding an empty spot beside you. first he’d look over slightly to see what you were playing, and then he leaned in until you couldn’t ignore him. after some small talk and a couple rounds together, he had asked for your number so you could “play” in the future. you would then become his long term gaming partner.
jay ⊂⊃ cooking show audience
jay was ecstatic when he found out he won a chance to be in the audience of his favorite cooking competition. making his way through the crowd, he was in search of his chair number. it so happened that your chairs were right next to each other, and so small talk erupted between the two. little did you know, jay thought you were gorgeous, and he could barely focus on your words or the rest of the competition. his mind was all you, and anytime you talked to him he got red.
jake ⊂⊃ batting cages
you and your friend had decided to go down to the batting cages, a fun activity you like to partake in. you called ahead and chose a time, but when entering the next day, jake and ni-ki were already using the space. after a couple arguments, and a talk with the manager, you found out the space was double booked. jake suggested you all share the space- leaving your friend and ni-ki 3rd wheeling. you ended up beating him, and let’s just say the rest is history.
sunghoon ⊂⊃ furniture store
tasked with decorating his own bedroom, sunghoon had made his way up to his favorite furniture store. he had been walking down the isles aimlessly, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw your body sprawled across a big bed. noticing his presence, you sat up, telling him you were testing the comfortability of the mattress. somehow, your trip ended with both of you laying on this bed, reviewing it to each other, until you were kicked out of the store. it was a great bonding moment that would kickstart your love story.
sunoo ⊂⊃ friends party
sunoo was no stranger to social events, and neither were you. you were only strangers to each other, because although you had many friends in common, you had never met. that is until sunoo made his way to the outdoor patio where you sat alone, needing a breather. he approached you, taking a seat next to you- and the conversation flowed perfectly. you realized you were very alike in mindset and personality, so it was only natural for you to fall for each other as this “friendship progressed.
jungwon ⊂⊃ late night walk
jungwon often likes to clear his mind by going on walks, no matter the time. on this particular night, he had been strolling down a trail around a park, when he noticed you a couple feet ahead, seemingly lost in your own thoughts. he noticed your steps slow down, until he was pretty much right beside you. that’s when he saw the tears sliding down your cheek, prompting him to quickly rise to action, asking you if you’re okay. the night was then spent with him comforting you, a stranger, and both of you unknowingly falling in love with each other.
ni-ki ⊂⊃ clothing store pop-up
you and ni-ki were two strangers, connected by your love for fashion. there was a week where your favorite streetwear brand was doing a pop-up store near your neighborhood, so of course you decided to go. walking in, you find your favorite hoodie and quickly go to grab it, until you feel another hand on yours. ni-ki has reached for the same item, and you were both left staring into each other’s eyes until he retracted his hand, reluctantly giving you permission to take the hoodie. while he didn’t get what he wanted, he did mange to walk out with your number.
hi hi requests are open! please request anything you’d like i am suffering with writers block rn :( smau, short works, long works, headcanons, i will literally write whatever 😝🙏
I fear I have started another Anton fic meanwhile I haven't updated Vinyl 119... well in my defense this fic is too exciting for me not to write so keep an eye out for when I post it!
you were watching a movie with the boys, you and your best friend jake sharing a blanket. sometime in between re-adjusting yourself on the couch and him moving the blanket, you hands brushed against each other. this would have been normal, if you had moved on and continued watching the screen in front of you- but no. jake didn’t move his hand, and when you turned to look at him, he was already staring back, a soft smile adorning his face.
when he moved you by your waist
you had been walking down a busy street after a nice night out with the members, and a couple of your friends. jake was walking beside you, on the side closest to the street as per usual, until a man emerged a couple feet away. he was wearing a black hoodie, and carried a suspicious bag. that’s when you felt jake’s hand on your waist, fingers tight around the skin, as if he was claiming you as his. he then moved you away from the man, giving him a death glare in the process. thank god it was dark, because you’re face was heating up.
when he knows your food orders
there’s something about someone knowing you inside and out, and for you that’s jake. you realized when he walked into your study room, asking everyone for their coffee orders. after he had made it around the room, he left without even staring at you. when he came back, he handed you your exact order. from then on, he brought you food without having to ask what you wanted, and it warmed your heart.
the way he calls you laylas mommy
after so many sleepovers and walks in the park with her, layla had gotten accustomed to your presence, and she quite enjoyed your visits. after a while, jake had started referring to you as laylas mom, telling her things like “go to mommy layla!” , or “mommy and i will be back.” you just smiled, because at that point you really were the only woman in laylas life. but soon you began to wonder if the term was only for show, or a look into jake’s feelings for you.
when he lets you steal his food
jake was very territorial over his stuff, especially food. when any of the members ask for a bite, he will deny them or give them the smallest bite known to man. like when ni-ki asked to try his ramen, jake had thrown a fit saying he should’ve ordered his own. but when you ask, jake will just push his plate towards you, no complaints. it’s like his things became yours, no questions asked- like it’s just second nature to him.
him talking you through a panic attack
it had been a rough week, filled with overthinking and just plain exhaustion. between finals, work, and keeping your social life intact, you just bottled up your feelings so as to stay sane. one night you were at jake’s apartment with all your friends, drinks and food sprawled all over their table. they all laughed and had fun, but you sat on the couch, feeling like your heart was beating out of your chest, a panic attack waiting to happen. that’s when jake found you, eyes on the brink of tears, and so he guided you to his room. you broke down, feeling like you couldn’t breathe. he just held you, telling you to breathe in for 4 and hold, then out for 4. he also had you name your favorite movies, songs, and memories together. after you calmed down, he wiped your tears, and cuddled you for the next 30 minutes as you spilled your heart out to him.
you were watching a movie with the boys, you and your best friend jake sharing a blanket. sometime in between re-adjusting yourself on the couch and him moving the blanket, you hands brushed against each other. this would have been normal, if you had moved on and continued watching the screen in front of you- but no. jake didn’t move his hand, and when you turned to look at him, he was already staring back, a soft smile adorning his face.
when he moved you by your waist
you had been walking down a busy street after a nice night out with the members, and a couple of your friends. jake was walking beside you, on the side closest to the street as per usual, until a man emerged a couple feet away. he was wearing a black hoodie, and carried a suspicious bag. that’s when you felt jake’s hand on your waist, fingers tight around the skin, as if he was claiming you as his. he then moved you away from the man, giving him a death glare in the process. thank god it was dark, because you’re face was heating up.
when he knows your food orders
there’s something about someone knowing you inside and out, and for you that’s jake. you realized when he walked into your study room, asking everyone for their coffee orders. after he had made it around the room, he left without even staring at you. when he came back, he handed you your exact order. from then on, he brought you food without having to ask what you wanted, and it warmed your heart.
the way he calls you laylas mommy
after so many sleepovers and walks in the park with her, layla had gotten accustomed to your presence, and she quite enjoyed your visits. after a while, jake had started referring to you as laylas mom, telling her things like “go to mommy layla!” , or “mommy and i will be back.” you just smiled, because at that point you really were the only woman in laylas life. but soon you began to wonder if the term was only for show, or a look into jake’s feelings for you.
when he lets you steal his food
jake was very territorial over his stuff, especially food. when any of the members ask for a bite, he will deny them or give them the smallest bite known to man. like when ni-ki asked to try his ramen, jake had thrown a fit saying he should’ve ordered his own. but when you ask, jake will just push his plate towards you, no complaints. it’s like his things became yours, no questions asked- like it’s just second nature to him.
him talking you through a panic attack
it had been a rough week, filled with overthinking and just plain exhaustion. between finals, work, and keeping your social life intact, you just bottled up your feelings so as to stay sane. one night you were at jake’s apartment with all your friends, drinks and food sprawled all over their table. they all laughed and had fun, but you sat on the couch, feeling like your heart was beating out of your chest, a panic attack waiting to happen. that’s when jake found you, eyes on the brink of tears, and so he guided you to his room. you broke down, feeling like you couldn’t breathe. he just held you, telling you to breathe in for 4 and hold, then out for 4. he also had you name your favorite movies, songs, and memories together. after you calmed down, he wiped your tears, and cuddled you for the next 30 minutes as you spilled your heart out to him.
── ⋅ ⋅ your life just happened to connect with his, almost as if by fate. was it fate that pulled you apart?; leaving you with the question: will we meet again?
a/n: have had this in the drafts for so long (two weeks), it needed a home on the blog. also i didn’t review or edit this so sorry if it’s all over the place.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐡𝐢.
My feet splashed as I ran through the alley, the wind unable to hike up my damp skirt. I mentally cursed myself for forgetting the umbrella my mother had left for me in front of my door. I could sense she would be patiently waiting for me when I returned home, umbrella in hand and ready to scold me. Today was the first day of year nine, the start of my teenage years. Sadly, I was cutting it close to being on time for said first day, and I dreaded the idea of getting scolded by my teachers if the rain delayed me any longer.
I could handle a scolding from my mother, in the comfort of my home－ but getting scolded at school was something I would avoid at all costs. I was determined to arrive in time for my first lecture, and nothing would get in the way－
My body collided with a hard surface, sending me flying in the opposite direction. Eyes closed and head throbbing, faint sounds of footsteps made their way towards my body, growing louder until they came to a halt.
“Are you alright?”
I lifted my upper body from the wet cement, eyes peeking through the hair now sticking like glue to my forehead. I was so embarrassed, I forgot the mysterious figure had been at fault for the pain that almost instantly shot up my back.
Planting my feet on the ground, I felt a hand wipe the strands of hair away from my eyes, now showing a clear view of the boy in front of me. Whatever he said- which I assumed was an apology, was replaced with the ringing of the morning bell, causing me to panic.
“I have to go!“ My body instantly lifted, as if I hadn’t fallen at all. Running to the front gates, I crossed my fingers in hope that I could sneak into the school unproved. I was stupid to think that a teacher wouldn’t be out in the rain waiting for those who slept in, or the troublemakers who couldn’t be bothered to show up in time for class.
I was stopped in my tracks by the sound of a whistle, knowing how my morning would end. “Y/n it’s unusual for you to be late, but if I make an exception for you, I’d have to make an exception for everyone. And you wouldn’t want Lee Heeseung getting away with anything right?” At the mention of his name, the boy glanced over and winked at me, causing me to cringe.
“Hey you! Are you a new kid or something? You know what? Doesn’t matter, you’re late so hurry arms up!” A shadow was casted over me, offering a small shield from the rain pouring from its direction. The boy who had put us in this situation calmly walked up and secured his spot next to me. He lifted his arms as instructed, the punishment for being late.
I felt the rain stop as his figure engulfed the space next to me. I let a breathe of gratitude out, happy that I wouldn’t have any droplets hit my eye as I stood outside in shame. I mentally thanked him, forgetting about earlier events that led to this moment. Funny.
He had ruined and saved me, all in the same morning.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
The tension in the room was through the roof, with two relationships going downhill, and a couple embarrassing confessions. I had been dragged to this small get-together by Jungwon, but it turns out “small” was not the correct word to describe the situation I’m in.
The night started out with just some of Jungwon and I’s friends, and a handful of people I hadn’t met. The boy and I had gotten close soon after I accepted his apology for making me late on the first day, not to mention the back pain I had for the rest of the week. We started the night with a handful of us, but then they started to multiply, and multiply. Before I knew it, there was no sign of the boy who had invited me, and I was getting dragged by someone to a small room. So now here I am, at a truth or dare circle. Sunoo on my left, a random guy on my right, and my best friend across from me.
At some point during the game, the mysterious boy to my right- which I learned to be Kim Gyuvin- had started to flirt with me. It was innocent at first, with some dares being “Point at the prettiest girl in the room” or some truths being “Who do you want to get to know more”. He had directed his answers towards me, and I had offered awkward smiles and thank you’s so as to not hurt his feelings. As time went by, he had started whispering to me in between rounds, nothing bad just small talk here and there. I wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, but I had found the boy to be quite annoying.
Unbeknownst to me, Jungwon had been observing us the whole game, and was not happy at the boys attention being on me. As the game went on, I could feel Jungwon’s intense stare on me, but thought nothing of it. Soon it was Jungwon’s turn, and Niki turned to ask him the big question: “Truth or Dare?”. I turned to look at the boy, surprised to find his eyes already turned in my direction. “Truth” he said confidently, as if his answer to the question gave him power. Niki pondered for a couple seconds, before his face lit up to the point you could imagine the faint outline of a lightbulb above his head. He turned to Jungwon, the most obvious smirk plastered across his face.
“Do you have a crush on anyone in this room, and if so who?” Everyone reacted to the loaded question, turning to look at him. I expected Jungwon to protest the fact that he had been asked two questions in one, but he didn’t. Instead he answered without giving himself time to think, like he knew exactly what to say.
“Yeah, I have a crush on Y/n”.
I was given no time to think or react. Jungwon has stood from his spot across from me, closing the space between us. “It’s actually Y/n’s curfew so we’re going to head out”. He took my hand in his and pulled me up to my feet, before guiding me out the door. I followed behind, too shocked to protest or question his actions. We made it to the front door after struggling to squeeze our way through the endless sea of sweaty bodies.
Once out the door, we made our way down the street in the direction of my house. We had walked together many times, yet this moment seemed different. Maybe it was the sudden confession just minutes before, or the fact that our hands were still connected- with no intention of straying apart. The air was cold and silent as we walked hand in hand, as if scared to address the events that led to this moment.
I wondered if he meant what he said. Did he like me or did he just want alto create a scene? No, he wasn’t the type to bring that sort of attention towards himself. It wasn’t past my curfew, in fact I didn’t have a curfew at all- and neither did Jungwon. So why did he drag me out the house? Did he perhaps want to properly confess?
I came to a halt, my heart beating so fast I was convinced it would pop out my chest. Jungwon turned to face me with a concerned expression. “Why’d you stop? Are you okay?” I shook my head, the amount of questions flooding my brain making it hard to produce any words. Still I managed to settle down my thoughts, my hand slipping out of his.
“Were you telling the truth?” I wouldn’t dare meet his eyes, the silence eating at me. “I was. I like you Y/n”. He gaze softened, and he grabbed my hand once again, making me look up at him. I wasn’t sure how to react to his confession, or to his feelings. Did I have feelings for him as well? I hadn’t thought about it, ever. I wasn’t so sure I could reciprocate the same, at least for now.
I nodded, understanding what he was saying, and knowing what I wanted. “Can you wait?” “What?” I took a deep breathe, scared I might hurt his feelings. “Can you wait for me? I don’t know if I have feelings for you now, but that’s not to say I won’t develop them later on. I just- I don’t know relationships are hard and scary”. He took in my words, and for a couple seconds I thought this would be the end of our friendship.
“Ok. I’ll wait however long it takes”
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞.
“Do you want to watch a movie with me tomorrow?”
I looked up from my book, coming face to face with a nervous boy. Jungwon and I had been studying at the library for a while now, as I knew the only way we would be able to pass this test was by holding each other accountable. We had been successful the first twenty minutes, but now he was starting to get bored and I gotten stressed. While he chose to redirect his attention to his phone, I decided to catch up on my favorite book- only because my phone had died earlier that evening.
“What do you mean?” My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as I stared at him. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, sweat beads forming on his forehead. “Do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow?” My eyes settled on his for what seemed like forever, as I slowly closed my book- for dramatic effect of course.
It was fun seeing Jungwon flustered or embarrassed, especially now that I had developed feelings for him; though he did not know that yet. Last month I was telling him to wait for me, and now I was waiting for him to make a move after the countless hints I had given him. But I never expected him to be this oblivious. “What movie?” I asked, catching him by surprise. “Uhhhh… ummm… the Barbie Movie”. I smiled in excitement, and he wearily returned it. “Ok it’s a date” - “A what?!”
So, here we were the next day, walking to the movie theatre. I had spent all night looking for an outfit, wanting to look my best for my first official date. When Jungwon showed up to my door the next day, he was wearing a jacket the same color as my top, making us both blush. We were going on a date, matching like a couple, while I hadn’t even confessed to him yet. Though we got over the inicial awkwardness, later on we had passed by a flower shop where the owner had mistaken us for a couple. It made me nervous, for some reason, and I was sure Jungwon could tell.
We had gotten our tickets, which he insisted on paying for, and made our way to our seats. Once the trailers had started, we felt more at ease. We talked about school, and commented on some trailers here and there. It was as if we were just two friends enjoying each other’s company. And for a while we were just enjoying each other’s company, until halfway through the movie.
We had gotten a large popcorn to share, as I had eaten at home and had no room for my own snacks. I hadn’t even thought about eating any, until that moment. So I reached my hand into the bowl, unaware of the boy next to me doing the same. We were both so focused on the movie, that the only thing that snapped us out of our trance was the feeling of our hands touching. We both snapped our necks to look at each other, probably getting whiplash. We stayed still, unmoving- and then he pulled away his hand, a blush creeping on his cheeks.
He looked away, hand on the rim of the bowl, the other covering his face. I thought to myself, I can be embarrassed or I can make a move. I settled on the second option, frustrated with how unaware the boy was of my feelings. I took my hand out of the bowl, and reached over for him, intertwining our fingers, before moving our hands down below the bowl. Jungwon looked back at me, peeking through his fingers, surprised at my sudden actions.
Calming himself down, he removed his hand from his face and set his eyes on me. Embarrassed by his intense stare, I whispered “Pay attention to the movie” while still keeping my eyes forward. If I looked at him my heart would explode, so I directed my attention forward for the rest of the movie. He obeyed my order, while glancing over every couple minutes. I acted like I didn’t notice, but inside my stomach was doing flips.
That night, I went from best friend and crush, to girlfriend.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐜𝐡.
The air was cold against my skin, making my cheeks and nose red. It was late at night, eleven o’clock at night to be exact. I had no intention of going out so late at night, but Jungwon had dragged me out. With exams over, we could finally breathe, and I desperately needed to get out the house.
My hair blew in the wind as I swung in the swing set. Jungwon was seated in the swing beside me, stagnant as he admired me- something I was getting used to. It was often that I would enjoy my favorite activities, only to find Jungwon uninterested in anything but me. He would stay still, his stare upon me in a loving matter. I wondered how he could give so much love, and why he directed that love towards me.
“Are you cold?” He asked as I tried to stop the swing with my feet. “Hmm well it’s chilly” I said as my swing came to a stop. He rose to his feet, taking a couple steps towards me. He took his jacket off, placing it on my shoulders. It smelled of his cologne, vanilla with a hint of cinnamon. I snuggled it closer to my body, grinning from ear to ear.
Jungwon sat down on his swing, and for a couple minutes, we just sat in complete silence. It was comforting, just enjoying each other’s company without any distractions. I glanced over at the boy, using this as my turn to admire his every feature. His dark brown hair, his perfect nose, his cat eyes, and when he glanced back; his perfect smile. I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.
Without thinking, I grabbed the chain of his swing, and pulled myself closer. He let me, wanting to close the distance between us. Before I knew it, we were both leaning into each other, faces centimeters apart. My heart started beating at light speed, something I called the Jungwon Effect. “Can I kiss you?”.
His lips were soft on mine, too soft. He had asked for permission, yet he acted like I was going to break if he dared touch me. It was my first kiss, and the fear I initially felt was now gone. I used to dread this moment, when I would embarrass myself in a moment of intimacy. But with Jungwon, fear didn’t exist- and instead I felt a surge of energy rush through my body. This caused me to pull him in closer, letting him know I wanted this kiss more than anything. I could feel him smiling against my lips, causing me to do the same.
I was filled with joy, excitement, and most importantly; love.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐛𝐲𝐞.
This feeling was new, and unwelcome. With Jungwon, my heart beats from love. In this moment, it beats from heartbreak.
“I got accepted into the company. I move to Seoul next week, to start training.” I didn’t know how to react. I wanted to be happy for him, and celebrate all night. But he wasn’t telling me this to celebrate it; he was breaking up with me. A single tear rolled down my face as the thought sunk in. Was this the end?
Jungwon sighed, holding back his own tears. Wasn’t he going to comfort me? It seemed to me he was holding back, and I was certain he was trying to make the situation easier on himself. He wanted to disconnect as fast as possible, not giving me time to mourn. I didn’t want to disconnect- I wanted to hold on as tight as possible for as long as I lived. I couldn’t let him go, but there was no benefit in making him stay. This was his dream. I had to let him spread his wings and go.
“This means we-“ I cut him off harshly. “We can’t be together” He nodded, his gaze focused on anything in the cafe but me. I wish he would have chosen a more private space, so I could sink into the floor and disappear. Another tear escaped my eyes, and I wiped it away in shame. I had to be strong, I couldn’t seem weak.
Looking away, I pushed my chair back and stood up, grabbing my bag and phone. Jungwon finally broke his staring contest with the wall, and met my eyes. His were red, puffy, like he had been crying prior to our impromptu meeting. “Do I need to delete your number?” I had heard from some classmates that Heeseung had been scouted on the street, and once he entered the company they made him delete all social media. They even had him change his phone and phone number. It seemed extreme to me, but Jungwon’s second nod confirming the rumors.
I unlocked my device, browsing my contact list before I pressed on the contact “Jungwonnie”. My finger hovering over the delete button, knowing one click would end it all. My hesitation did not save me in the end, as I made my way home in the cold of night.
That was the last time I saw or spoke to the boy; my boy.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬.
My biggest fault is agreeing to things that hurt me, but I do it anyway. I had moved to Seoul my eleventh grade year, with plans of pursuing fashion design at a college nearby. While I had left my old life behind in pursuit of new beginnings, I found my mind wondering to a time where I had my special someone next to me. Whenever I have these thoughts, or rather memories, I remind myself that the past is in the past. Well, today the past resurfaced without any warning.
I had been invited to my friends house for a sleepover, just us two and brownies. There was promise of a movie, but when we sat down I was hit with the memories. His face was in full color, big screen, right in front of my eyes. “W-What’s this?” I asked, hoping my eyes were deceiving me. My friend simply responded, not even bothering to look away from the screen. “It’s a survival show called I-Land. This is the last episode, where we find out who debuted in the final lineup”.
Debuted? So this was what he was up to? What had ended the happiest year of my life. I was filled with emotions- emotions that had to stay hidden. Instead of crying as I usually did whenever his face pops up in my brain, I settle down on the couch, sinking into the cushions. I waited for the announcement, the big reveal.
Part of me hoped he would debut, and live his dream just how he intended. The other part of me was selfish, hoping he would fail and come home. But I had to remember there was no home. I was far from it, chasing my own goals and getting over my own hurdles. Who was I to wish for his failure?
Seconds turned into minutes, which turned into an hour before the lineup reveal. “Jungwon’s my favorite! I hope he debuts!” The mention of his name startled me, making it difficult to act oblivious. I let out a quiet hum, before turning my attention to the screen.
In seconds his name was called, further widening the gap between us. My friend jumped in excitement, while I could barely breathe. He made it! He did it! It was all worth it. But, why did I feel so defeated? I should be happy yet I can’t seem to bring myself to smile. He was gone- truly gone. I would never see him again; he would never be mine. That’s the way the universe intended, and if it meant he would be happy- I’d have to accept our fate.
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⋆｡°✩ 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.
I cursed as I ran down the hall, cutting it close in terms of time. I had already organized my station the night before, setting my racks upon racks of clothing up in the studio. Today I had the opportunity to style one of the most popular boy groups, all in my own fashion line. I had gained quite a bit of fame, working with the top idols in the industry at such a young age. From BTS, to TWICE and now; ENHYPEN.
I had initially thought of rejecting the offer, knowing he was the leader of the group. Once I got the contract in, I noticed only three members would be present- his name not on the paper. Content with the guidelines and participants, I signed off on the project, excited to collaborate with the members and their company.
While he wasn’t here, I had forgotten about another person involved in my past. Lee Heeseung. I figured this was my punishment for deciding to work with them. He hadn’t changed one bit, just as annoying as before. It seemed his rebel tendencies had also never left him, as he had rejected the first four outfits my assistant had him try on.
After they had finally agreed on an outfit that was “up to his standards”, I gathered the three boys up and let my director take the lead. They posed for the camera, giving the fabric life. I sensed this photo shoot would be a hit, and I could already imagine the orders and offers coming in. It was satisfying to see your hard work pay off, a feeling like no other.
“Good work today! We will get the photos selected in for editing, and they should be up next week.” The boys bowed to the staff, before leaving the studio. The shoot had been a success, leaving me content with my work. “We will clean up boss, please go home and get some rest.” My assistant bowed, and I returned the gesture, grateful for her work. I hid my farewells and good nights, making my way out the d-
My body collided with a hard surface, sending me flying in the opposite direction. Eyes closed and head throbbing, faint sounds of footsteps made their way towards my body, growing louder until they came to a halt.
“Are you alright?”
That voice. I knew who it belonged to. I felt a lump in my throat, and I was unable to move. Why here? Why now? I had barely gotten him out of my system, and now he creeps back. I directed my head down, hiding myself from his view. “I’m okay, you can go I can get up on my own”. For a while his feet didn’t move, and I wondered if he recognized me. But at the sound of his name being called, he muttered a “sorry” and walked off.
Why was my face wet? Was I crying? Why? I told myself it was better for us to remain strangers, knowing we wouldn’t be able to be together now that we had our careers on the line. So why was I sitting like a fool on this cold floor, letting every tear I had kept in all these years flow out like a river. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. So many thoughts I wanted to share. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I also knew someday I’d have to face him. I would have to see him, talk to him, all while keeping that false unfamiliarity.
Though I had so much to share, there’s one thing I put above all. One question I wanted him to answer. I had asked him before he left, but it remained unanswered. He waited for my love, and I offered it without hesitation. In the end, I wait for his, knowing i’ll never have it. Yet I wonder; Will we meet again?
