Macarocka

I have no idea what I'm doing

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Imaginary person: Why do you always complain about Labour if you are a member? Why not complain about the other parties?

Me: hey! I pay a lot of money to complain about the Labour Party. That shit is earned

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Apparently this is what John McDonnell meant when he said he was "fermenting" the overthrow of capitalism.

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You were the chosen one...

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I hate the dance music in the background of almost every football (soccer) video. Can we get shit like this please?

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How to ruin a house party

Been invited to a house party by someone you don’t like? It’s fine, just do there: 1) Eat 12 eggs before and release your stench throughout the party.

2) Just try to be sick in the middle of the dance floor.

3) Tell everyone that you met the friend at a rally in Dresden called “peggy ba or something”.

4) Tell everyone that you met the friend at a rally in Nuremburg called “Niceys or something”.

5) Tell everyone that you met the friend at a Coldplay concert.

6) In any conversation, just say “I fucking love Jeremy Corbyn. He’s literally Jesus” (Unless you are at a Jeremy Corbyn rally, in which case say “I fucking love Liz Kendall. She’s literally Mohammad”)

7) Get someone drunk and pay them to get naked.

8) Get drunk and have someone pay you to get naked.

9) Phone the police as a concerned neighbour who wants the noise reduced. When the police arrive, play the Tellytubbies theme song as loud as you can.

10) Give the person a nickname they have never heard before, like “Predator” or “bluenips” and try to make it catch on.

11) Say “My Nan loves Tim Curry” at the start of the night and continue to laugh until the night ends.

12) Tell everyone that the host does an excellent impression of Idi Amin and then get everyone to ask them to do it.

13) Invite your local Member of Parliament.

14) Initiate the game “I’ve never” then say “been a friend of the host”

15) Shit yourself.

If they are enjoying the party you probably did something wrong.

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My third and last post. Lord Ashcroft and twitter

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Remember the days when he was dropping sik beatz?

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I think I missed my opportunity to post this