the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt
in 2026, remember how GOOD writing feels. remember how satsfying it is to get your characters to the point you have been dying to get to, where they will experience the love, fear, relief or whatever the feeling you want to bring to life may be. let this year be the year of writing, prgress and of satisfactory endings.
I hope I'm not just a blogger to you but someone who keeps making you add new terms to your content filtering because my tastes are somewhat dire and yet whom you still refuse to unfollow
It's the 20th of July! Happy birthday to the boy whose journey was not one of loss, but of growth. Whose story was not about lacking, but about learning. To Oikawa Tooru, 32, who made his talent bloom.
(it's been a pleasure to grow up alongside you. loved you for 12 years now, so here's to many more 🥰)
so in case anyone's curious about what methods i'm using to Procrastinate Writing right now, i just logged into my old wattpad account for the first time in probably years. just out of curiosity. and avoidance.
anyways here are the top ten things that this memory lane walk of humiliation has taught me:
the first fic i ever published (it is no longer up) was a [redacted] [redacted] au about [redacted], and sometimes it's ok to write about things you dont know but you should still probably do like at least a little real research maybe
it was 52k words and 47 chapters some-fucking-how, so never doubt that it's possible to write a whole shit ton of words just for fun
this was posted in april 2015 apparently so fourteen year old me was fucking crazy, possibly (sorry wait i was how old?????? was that even allowed??????????), but i guess it's never to soon to start learning an art
the second ever fic i published (like two months later lol) was shorter, but it was still almost 40k words, so it's nice to know that i have never once in my life been capable of being concise. like if nothing else at least i'm consistent
the next significant fic (there were a couple between) was also 50k+ words but this one was 97 chapters????????? but ppl sure did read it anyway. so probably it's okay to be inconsistent with chapter lengths and word counts
wattpad had little message boards on each profile and holy shit was i fucking annoying. but i made some friends that way so like maybe being annoying isn't an evil irredeemable trait. maybe its okay to be a bother and be a notification and to text first when you need to know an obscure medical fact for your stupid fuckin [redacted] au that you write because you're 15.
also, this 97 chapter long fic that i wrote is additionally notable because i still, to this day even before this post (though now i am reminded of her username), remember that i had a reader who jumped on every update within a few hours or so and commented on every chapter, some of them practically line by line. i remember so vividly that this complete stranger on the internet was just genuinely really really kind and encouraging to this 14-15yo kid on wattpad. and i remember that, after posting an update, i was looking forward to her feedback specifically. and i don't think she was the first to say it, but she was at least amongst the people who said hey you're actually really good at this and i think you should genuinely pursue this dream as far as it'll take you (obviously not in those words, there was a lot more keysmashing and emojis involved back then, but that was the idea). anyways point being i think i should try to be better about leaving comments on the fics i like.
all three of these fics however are actually so bad. like they're SO bad. i cannot express to you enough how bad these fics are. like i'm actually offended by my own writing they are so bad. but i was 14 then and i'm 24 now and still writing, so maybe it's literally okay to write badly
additionally. it's very nice to know that i've made progress as a writer. that part's actually genuinely really encouraging. like i'm so much better than i was, and it's so easy to lose sight of that.
idk maybe i should keep writing and maybe then i'll get even better in another ten years. hm. something to think about.
