allisonrileybradford-md:
All Fall Down || Ellison & MerDer
She’s going to fall, but Meredith catches her, bringing her to the ground. Clay was gone. Her brother, her best friend, her platonic soulmate, her person…he was gone, in the blink of an eye. Just forty eight hours ago he had told her he’d see her soon, and now she would never be able to speak to him again. She can’t stop shaking, and yet she feels so numb. And then the tears come, rolling down her face, she’s crying. “I can’t,” She chokes to Meredith, shaking her head. “I-I can’t, this can’t…no,” She says.
Derek watches Allie wilt, glad that Meredith is quick enough to catch her. He’s rooted to his spot, watching as Evan just leaves the room, goes upstairs. “Amelia.” Derek says, eyes on Bailey. “Have you told her yet?” He asks, swallowing thickly.
“No, I came here first,” Bailey says, and Derek is relieved to know that his sister isn’t somewhere dealing with this alone. “I’ll tell her.” He says before he even realizes he’s saying it. “I’ll do it,” He says again, because like always he wants to protect her, even though he knows he can’t.
“Bentley, who’s going to tell Bentley? And Brighton?” Allie cries. “Are you sure? Are they sure, Bailey, this isn’t…this can’t…no!” She shouts.
“They’re sure, Allison. I’m so sorry. I..I will tell Brighton,” Bailey says.
“And Lena? They were together, Clay was with Lena,” Allie cries.
“I will tell her, too,” Bailey adds.
“Where’s Evan?” Allie asks, realizing that he’s gone, he hasn’t said a word.
It might not be that it was impossible to put the pieces of the vase back together again, but suddenly Evan felt he had no strength left to do it. As numb as he was, he knew the underlying amount of pain and ache that was there, hidden under the numbness, and he did not have the strength or capacity to face it. He had to hold onto the numbness. If he wanted to be able to keep going, day after day, he had to hang onto the numbness.
Meanwhile, Meredith is holding Allison in her arms, brokenhearted to see her sister putting up with all this pain. She had spent months in a bed, dealing with the pain of being away from her home and her kids, of not living her life, or being stuck in a room away from it all, and now, now that she had gone through these ugly odds and had made it home, she was robbed of a huge piece of her family and this was just horrible. She did not deserve this at all, none of them did, Clay and Chris the first ones, they were such great people, it was horrible. Thinking of Amelia going through this, with Elena, and her treatments, it was just horrible. Meredith wished there was something she could do that could help, to fix this, anything, but there was nothing she could do. So she just sits there and holds Allison in her arms, as tightly as she could without hurting her, just holding her.
When Derek asks about Amelia, Meredith feels her heart drop in her chest and she looks to Bailey, hoping she had not. Because that meant she was going through this alone, and her coping mechanisms had not always been the best. Derek had to go find her. Meredith looks to him, about to say it when Bailey tells them she has not told her. Her heart drops even more, knowing Derek will take the responsibility of that, and she could not even imagine him having to do that. But if anyone had to do it, it should be him. She knew Amelia would want it to be him. Still, the idea of him doing it sounded like it was too much. “Derek...” she mutters, but before she can finish, Allison cuts her off, asking about Bentley and Brighton.
While Allison breaks again in her arms, Meredith bites her lip and holds it tight, holds her tight too, looking up to Bailey and nodding her head. “Thank you,” she mutters, even though it feels wrong to thank her, she knew it had to be awful for her to come down here and deliver such news. She swallows thickly, Bailey shaking her head in discouragement and disbelief, Meredith staring back into her eyes, trying to at least let her know she supported her through this. “I need to head back to the hospital,” she says. “Again I am so sorry, if there is anything I can do, let me know, really...” She trails off and Meredith nods in response for everybody.
When Allison asks about Evan, Meredith frowns and looks around. She had no idea where Evan had gone off to. She looks to Derek and frowns at him, as though asking if he had seen him go somewhere. “Evan?” She calls out.
Upstairs, Evan hears his name called out but it sounds like a big blur. He realizes, taking notice of where he is standing that he has ended up in Evelyn’s nursery that Allison’s parents had put together while he was too busy with work or the kids or when he was at the hospital in Allie’s room. He had been too busy with everything, so busy that he could not even recall the last time he had spoken to Clay or Chris. He did not remember what the last things they had talked about were. Could not even remember if he had told them both how much he cared about them. He could still see Clay standing in his kitchen, tickling Lilia until she ran off his grip, making the boys laugh, planning sneaky plans with Ella behind his back. Just drinking a beer and talking about life together. They would never get to do that again. He had been too busy with other things instead of focusing on the important ones; family and friends.
