Prompts are guides, feel free to post anything you think fits! If you’re not sure, post anyways (this is meant to be fun!) On “threads & meta (or free day)” remember that anything everlark related can be posted, from headcanons to book excerpts to fics (not just threads & meta)
A NEW START: An Everlark Toasting Speech by: Honey_Kyun
“I have to warn you, this is extremely romantic,” he tries to smile in his signature charming grin, but he ends up pressing his tongue to his teeth to try and stop the tears forming in his eyes, “So you have to promise that you’ll cry.”
I have always intended to make this little idea part of a larger fic, but committing to details around an Everlark toasting is very daunting to me so it would probably sit in a doc forever otherwise.
But I wanted to post something for @everlarkweek so please enjoy a completely devoid of context bit of Peeta's very romantic plan for their toasting bread...
(drabble under the cut)
Peeta comes around to sit by me holding a tray with the bread, wrapped neatly in a cloth, and a small jar with a green line painted around the glass.
“Okay so I have to warn you, this is extremely romantic,” he tries to smile in his signature charming grin, but he ends up pressing his tongue to his teeth to try and stop the tears forming in his eyes, “So you have to promise that you’ll cry.”
“Not a chance,” I retort, my own voice also thick with tears.
He hands me the jar. “This is a starter. It’s an essential component of sourdough bread. And it’s alive.”
I turn the jar and the thick, bubbly whitish liquid bends slowly, “Alive?” I raise a skeptical eyebrow.
“Natural yeast. I made it with grapes and flour and water. And starter makes really good sourdough bread, but it takes a lot of work. Because you have to feed it regularly, or it will die. But if you’re good about it, you can keep it alive forever. My dad had one he claimed was 200 years old.”
He smiles at a rare happy childhood memory and I wonder if he wishes his father was here. When he pictured this moment as a lovesick teen, did he picture his family present?
“So this starter,” he says taking the jar back from me, “is just for you. For this moment. To make our toasting bread,” He’s looking at me so reverently, “I made it after— after I knew you loved me. Because I always knew we’d get here.”
“Oh, Peeta,” I reach out for his cheek, I need to pull him in for a kiss but he catches my hand and laces his fingers through mine.
“Hold on let me finish my stupid speech.”
"Nothing you say is stupid," I tell him, pulling our joined hands into my lap.
“To feed it you have to use some, or in this case, pour some of it out, and add in more flour and water. And then do it again in a few days. So I got into this little habit,” he looks down shyly, “When I’d pour out the discard I would think about something I wanted to get rid of. Like, if I’d been short with you, or kept an important thought inside instead of saying it. And when I added more flour I thought about how I could love you better that week. Because what we have is the most important thing to me, I have to keep it alive.”
Tears are running rivers down my cheeks now. I take the bread off the tray. The second most important bread he’s ever given me.
Something I'll always appreciate about The Hunger Games is that it's a story brimming with symbolism inspired by nature, the great teacher of cycles, in fact. There's the clash between fire and snow, represented by Katniss and President Snow, an image of the struggle between change that burns and control that freezes to the bone.
Then there are the appearances of various plants and flowers that become symbols of hope, like the dandelion, or a character named after one of these flowers, which gives you a clue about their personality or importance in the plot.
And of course, we have the colors that the characters appreciate in the landscapes of their daily lives. A forest full of shades of green and an orange sunset that fills the senses.
Katniss' favorite color is green, and Peeta's is orange. I feel the reasons why they choose these colors are obvious; their home is covered in coal dust and gray machinery that transforms natural resources found only underground, so I feel that finding charm in living nature is a human need to cope with daily life. Specially when it's in a very precarious situation.
However, these reasons speak A LOT about their shared connection to nature, which also reflects their stances on war, which is undeniably unnatural. Animals do have confrontations among themselves; yes, they hunt to survive and clash to defend territories, but there are no wars in the human style. Human wars are built on cruel and violent strategies. Human wars are driven by selfish interests. And we also know that animals do not build weapons.
Similarly, it's clear that orange and green somewhat represent Katniss and Peeta's personalities and social contexts. Green belongs to the cool color group, which we can associate with Katniss's reserved and distant nature, particularly with her surroundings in the poorest part of District 12 and the trauma she had experienced in her life. On the other hand, orange belongs to the warm color group, representing Peeta as someone more friendly and likeable, who lives in the city with the merchants who have a less deplorable economic status.
Both colors and characters are in opposite categories.
But here comes my favorite part of this meta analysis because these days I've been painting and studying a bit about color theory/psychology.
ORANGE visually represents characteristics such as creativity, strength, and commitment. In its negative aspect, it represents destruction, caution, or it could mean a warning. It can even be associated with something with very extravagant characteristics, too.
GREEN symbolizes nature, security, positive emotions, and hope. In its negative aspects, it represents ambition, cowardice, and in many Disney-style character designs, green is used to represent evil.
Katniss seeks the qualities (but already possesses most of them) of the psychology of orange because it is a color associated with resilience, something that Peeta represents in the story and is a quality that she builds thanks to their first real contact when they were 11yo, and also after surviving the Games and the war.
Katniss is also a person who grew up with limited resources, which allows Peeta's creativity to help her see the world from another point of view.
Commitment is another quality that, after her father's death, Katniss thought no one else was going to offer her and that the only relationship that could exist between her and the word was her commitment (responsibility) to provide food for her family.
The moment Peeta gives Katniss the bread, a commitment is created between them. Not in search of reciprocity, but because of the love Peeta has for Katniss. Because, without having exchanged a word, he valued her enough not to want to lose her. A commitment of care born from selfless love. And then, this commitment is reflected in Katniss' words.
"Because that's what you and I do, protect each other".
At this point in the story, Katniss isn't saying this because she feels they still owe each other something. Remember, she believes the Peeta she knew before the hijacking is gone, so she doesn't believe he loves her anymore either. She's saying it here because she truly loves him, and she doesn't need him to love her back to affirm that she cares about Peeta. Her commitment is based on love here as well.
If we look at the negative connotation of the color, we can see that Katniss also takes her precautions. At the beginning of the story, she feels Peeta is good for hidden reason at the start of the Games. Obviously, it's in a survival context.
Then, Katniss is also careful about letting Peeta grow up in her heart. She doesn't want to get attached to him because she says kind people have a way of opening up to her. This is because Katniss is incredibly loving with the people she cares about and is so cautious about letting people into her heart because she saw her mother lose her husband. Often, the rejection she feels toward Asterid is a weakness she herself fears experiencing, and ultimately, she ends up living it firsthand during Mockingjay while Peeta was held captive in the Capitol.
And then there's the association with the concept of extravagance. Haymitch, projecting himself somewhat onto the loss of his relationship with Lenore Dove, tells Katniss that even if she lived a hundred lifetimes, she couldn't possibly deserve Peeta.
I think that, from the moment she meets him, Katniss senses that she isn't worthy of his attention and affection. Even when they both win the Games and live in similar economic circumstances, Katniss sees Peeta as a luxury she believes it (he) is too kind, funny, strong, and loving, and by all means, qualities she cannot have because she perceives herself as lacking positive attributes. As we know, this is untrue, and these beliefs stem from her low self-esteem.
But Katniss also chooses green as her favorite color because it represents what she's subconsciously seeking: hope, security, and positive emotions. Things she easily finds in Peeta.
Peeta is a person with clear ideals from the beginning of the first book when he says that he doesn't want to be changed, he doesn't want to be a piece in the Games. He has a great power with words, a more empathetic approach, and is extroverted by nature. He's more green than orange.
So that's why Peeta is able to easily see the characteristics of Katniss' favorite color in her. He sees the hope and security she gives. He recognizes the effect she has on others. He sees all her positive qualities: her kindness, her strength, and her dedication.
I think he could see from the very beginning the great heart that Katniss possesses and all the love that life limited her to give for so many years.
So, I feel that what Peeta is really looking in Katniss, more subtextually, are the strongest characteristics of the color orange that she possesses so naturally.
First, he sees her as someone beautiful beyond her physical appearance (which I'm also 100% sure Katniss is beautiful and most of the times it's just her putting herself down). Someone who inspires. Katniss makes Peeta's creativity flow more easily on canvases and in words.
Katniss is also strength and commitment. Let's remember that Peeta had a more difficult childhood than Katniss due to family factors, experiencing less maternal/paternal love for reasons external to him and originating from what is surely a loveless marriage.
I think that for a child who wasn't very loved, but still always stood out socially, finding someone who truly sees you is difficult because they also develop insecurities about their own worth as a person. These are children who become sociable and compliant out of a fear of abandonment, of not being enough.
"Nobody needs me," he says, and there's no self-pity in his voice.
And I think Peeta always knew that Katniss had a fierce determination, something he probably needed to hear/experience and that Katniss had more trouble demonstrating because of all the context we read and know. So I think Peeta needs to know he's loved by someone with unwavering determination, and we saw that, despite everything, she chooses him. She chooses to save him again and again because she loves who he is, and the entire ending of Mockingjay is about her helping him fight the insecurity that already existed within him and that Snow used against him.
"And it's not just that I don't want to be alone. It's him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread".
So, they both have similar qualities that complement each other and blend in perfect natural harmony. Katniss has prominent green and orange qualities, but she is only able to see the negative connotations of both colors. Peeta is more green than orange, so he seeks out the orange energy that Katniss has.
So I firmly believe that their entire relationship in the books is based on finding the good that was inside them in each other, at the same time as they discover after Peeta's hijacking that neither of them is so perfect and that they have their negative nuances, the de-idealization of the loved one.
They need each other, but they also complement each other. And I believe that, by supporting one another, they are able to see each other's strengths. But above all, they understand each other's human and imperfect side and still make the loving decision to nurture each other's positive qualities.
Before they experienced trauma, there was already a connection through a song. A lovely memory. Yes, they bonded because of the Games, but we know this would have happened anyway. Whenever someone tells you that trauma is the only thing connecting them, remember it's not true and, even if it were real, thas's only bad if both of them drown in pain and don't help each other. And from what we know from the end of Mockingjay, they're always there for each other, growing together. Not stuck. But building a more gentle future together.
“That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.”
"Impor'un' question," Haymitch stresses, widening his eyes at us. "You twoooo get hitched while I was out?"
"What?" I snap, bewildered.
"I can't 'member if you got married already," Haymitch mumbles, before throwing his head back in a fit of giggles. "You sure act like it."
After Haymitch wakes up from liver surgery, high on a cocktail of sedatives, Katniss and Peeta endure some probing commentary on their relationship. Awkwardness ensues.
Written for Day 2 of @everlarkweek: Found Family! Thank you @peaonfire for looking this over and @mandrake-mistakes for helping with the banner.
Summary: Peeta loves Katniss but doesn’t know how to tell if she loves him back.
A/N: Set after Peeta comes back in Mockingjay before the Epilogue, a Peeta POV of ‘you love me, real or not real’ - special thanks to my bestie @norbertsmom for betaing and to @everlarkweek for hosting.
Rated T
-
It was hot outside, or as Katniss once told Peeta, it was so hot the bugs didn't want buzz around. Peeta was in his home, making a list of pros and cons on whether or not Katniss loved him.
It had been a little over a year since the war had ended. A year since he'd come home and planted primroses in honor of the gentle, kind girl who helped Peeta with his highjacking.
At first, when he'd come home, they were almost strangers, but as the days passed by, Peeta and Katniss grew closer. It began by playing the game 'real or not real.' Peeta asked many questions. Katniss answered all of his questions to the best of her ability.
They were rarely apart nowadays. They commemorated Prim’s death three months ago. Katniss took it hard. He knew how fragile she was and he wanted to take away the pain. He knew how it felt to lose everything. He’d lost his family, his identity, and became the one thing he never wanted to become, a monster. Yet, he was coming back and it was all thanks to Katniss.
Her honesty, even when encountered with tough questions, helped Peeta figure out why he loved Katniss in the first place. It also helped him fall in love with her again. The only part he was insecure about were Katniss' feelings.
Katniss wasn't someone who used her words. Peeta understood this. And yet he wanted to hear her say what she felt about him.
"HEY KID, ARE YOU IN THERE! ARE YOU DECENT!" Haymitch yelled from the outside.
Recently things between him and Katniss had taken a turn. They'd started kissing. At first, it was a comforting sort of kiss, and that evolved into a quick peck goodbye or hello. Then one afternoon when they were watching television together, they gravitated toward the other and made out.
Kissing led to other heated things, but they'd never gone there yet. He'd stop them everytime. It wasn't that he didn't want to get there with her, it was just that he didn't want it to be something they did without discussion or declaration of emotions.
It was thrilling to hold her and hear her small whimpers in the heat of passion, but it was also just as exciting to languidly take it slow. They were exploring, but Peeta wanted more than just a physical thing. He wanted an emotional one.
It just so happened that one of those afternoons when they were being slow and were making out passionately, Haymitch caught them. Ever since then, anytime he came over, he stood at the porch and yelled, asking if they were decent.
Peeta stood up and walked to the front door. "I'm alone, Haymitch."
"Where's Sweetheart?"
"She's out hunting."
"So you let her come up for air enough to go hunting?"
"You do realize this is Katniss we're talking about. Can't stop her from doing what she wants."
Haymitch snorted, "True."
"Might as well come in from the heat," Peeta said.
"Can't stay too long, got the goslings in the tub."
Two weeks ago, Katniss came up with the brilliant idea to give Haymitch goose eggs. Peeta made the incubator and Katniss sought the eggs from the geese in the wild.
Haymitch was now the proud parent of five adorable hatchlings. They followed him, squeaking. It was an adorable sight, and Peeta painted the scene.
"I need some more bread," Haymitch said.
"Sure, come on to the kitchen, I made some this morning." Peeta headed to the kitchen.
"So when are you two going to move in," Haymitch said as he looked around.
"Move in?" Peeta stopped in his tracks, his hand resting on the swinging door between the living area and the kitchen.
"Yeah, I can see all of Sweetheart's belongings here. Does she even stay in her house anymore?"
Peeta looked around, her extra boots were by the door. Her house slippers were by the sofa. Her winter jacket was hanging by the entry. Her blanket was thrown across the sofa. Her favorite mug was in the sink, and Buttercup was sunning himself by the window.
"I."
"Tell me you haven't noticed?"
Peeta shook his head, then he sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I've been trying to figure out if Katniss loves me."
"That sounds like a you problem," Haymtich said, brushing Peeta into the kitchen.
"Seriously, is that the only thing you're going to say?"
Haymitch was peering into his refrigerator. "Where's the bread? Oh and by the way you're running low on milk."
"I don't keep the bread in the refrigerator."
"Really?"
"It ruins the bread."
"Okay, get me the bread so that I can get the heck out of here."
"Haymitch, I need help."
"Teenagers," Haymitch muttered under his breath. "Look, I know Sweetheart isn't much of a talker. However, she's like that mangy orange beast. When they like you, they bring dead things and leave them in your shoes or on your bed."
"Why are you comparing Katniss to Buttercup?"
"Am I wrong, didn't that beast leave a dead furry thing in your good shoe the other day."
"Yeah."
"Congratulations, that thing loves you, and so does its owner."
"Wait, but Katniss doesn't leave-"
"Do you know what my favorite game meat is?"
"No."
"That's right because we never eat turkey. We eat squirrels."
"I like squirrels," Peeta said.
"Exactly. The girl gives away the rabbit, the fish, the quail, and turkey, but keeps the squirrels because she knows those are your favorites. And because of that we eat fried squirrel, squirrel stews, squirrel sausage, squirrel hash, oh and bacon. "
Peeta wasn't convinced.
"Look, let's run a simulation. Tonight, when we sit down to eat, mention that you have a hunkering for fish or quail. If Sweetheart doesn't start bringing home what you suggested, then I'm wrong. But if you see her start bringing home what you want, she loves you."
"Okay." Peeta said, but he doubted it. There was rabbit meat in the freezer.
That afternoon when Katniss came home, Peeta was cooking the rabbit with some baby carrots and potatoes.
"Hey," Katniss said, kicking off her shoes in the kitchen. She set her game bag down. She walked to the sink and washed her hands.
Peeta ambled over to her and gave her a kiss on the lips.
"What's all of this?"
"Well, I got a hankering for rabbit, and then I decided to cook it for us, since it's hot as sin outside."
"Tell me about it, all of the animals were hiding today. That's a lot of food for just you and I."
"Haymitch and Thom are coming over for dinner."
"Ok, let me get the squirrel meat in the freezer. So do you want a rabbit next time I go out?" She said it so casually Peeta wouldn't have caught on that she was asking him what he wanted.
"You can bring home some rabbit or some fish, since it's summer, some fish would be great."
"That sounds nice," Katniss said as she finished putting the squirrel away. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower."
Peeta nodded and it struck him that she was going to use his shower, not the one in her bedroom across from the street.
For the next few weeks, Katniss brought home exactly what he asked for fish and rabbits. It was as he was working on a painting and noticed her quiver of arrows in the corner, did he comprehend Haymitch was right.
Katniss did care for him greatly. She washed his clothes when she didn't have to, she got up early to watch him bake, even when he knew she was tired. And until Haymitch pointed it out, Peeta hadn't realized how little time Katniss spent at her house next door. He was sitting outside watching the geese with Haymitch when he blurted.
"Do you think I should ask Katniss to live with me?"
Haymitch snorted, "Why am I always in the middle of your hormonal problems?"
"Hormonal?"
"Yeah," Haymitch said, then he mocked him, "Does she love me, does she like me…bah! The entire thing is a crock."
"Come on Haymitch, I'm not that bad."
"Kid, if you want to know if Sweetheart wants to live with you, ask her." Haymitch got up and muttered, "Why did I stop drinking again?"
Later that night, Peeta was snuggling with Katniss on the sofa, trying to figure out how to ask her to move in with him permanently. He took a deep breath and asked. "Hey, do you think we can stay over at your place tomorrow?"
"Why?"
Peeta blushed. "Well I noticed you have most of your things here, and well…mabye we should move in together."
"Oh, I thought we were."
"Officially that is, and we can go over to your place, then we can pack up anything else you might want to bring over."
She smiled and said, "Yes, I'd like that."
The next day, Peeta found himself in her house with a box full of ingredients. He wanted to make her a romantic dinner, something she couldn't hunt for. So he asked Effie to send him the ingredients and directions to lamb stew.
The plan was for them to spend the night and the next day packing. He hadn't been to her house in a long time.
It had been months ago, she’d had a nightmare. She came over to his place in her pajamas. Stupidly, he hadn't noticed until Haymitch pointed it out to him.
He supposed that it made sense now. Since the moment he came back last year, they began drifting toward each other. He made bread that first morning, she looked wild and underfed. It was ironic that their story began with bread and when they were lost, the bread united them.
As Peeta looked around, he remembered spending time in this house with Prim, her mother, and Haymitch. Even though their houses were almost identical, his house got a lot more sunlight than hers, he could see why Katniss preferred to stay at his place. Plus, there were a lot of memories here that made Katniss sad.
Peeta walked into the kitchen, put the box down, and then put his hands on the counter where he had taught Prim to make cookies. Tears came to his eyes as he recalled her bright, small face. “You’re never going to be forgotten, Prim, you helped save me. Helped bring me back from the highjacking.”
Peeta continued, “I’m going to take care of Katniss. I promise.”
He wiped the tears from his face, then straightened. He began to unpack. Peeta wanted to have dinner and dessert made before Katniss came back to this house. Peeta followed the recipe card and by the time she came home, the food was ready.
"Peeta?"
"In here," he said from the dining room. He was lighting candles when she walked into the room.
"Woah," she breathed. "What is all of this?"
"We're celebrating a milestone," Peeta said. "I made lamb stew with white rice and fresh cheese buns."
Her face became flushed. She rushed at him, jumped up into his arms, locked her legs around his middle and kissed him. Peeta put his arms around her. She planted small kisses on his neck. They somehow ended up sitting in one of the chairs making out.
Then her stomach rumbled.
"Maybe I should feed you before anything happens."
"Maybe you should," Katniss said standing up. "I'll be right back. I'm going to take a quick shower."
Katniss came down wearing a dress, she never wore dresses. This had to mean something, but he didn't know what. All he knew is that he liked the way she looked. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks," Katniss said.
"Sit, I'll get the food," Peeta said, feeling warm and flushed all over. Plus things were happening to his body, and he needed to calm down.
He quickly served them, and brought out the plates.
"Smells great!"
Peeta nodded. He sat down and watched her eat. Katniss always ate with gusto and it caused his heart to flip flop in his chest. She was everything to him. He loved Katniss. Before he'd been reaped, he only knew what he had been able to observe. The memories that weren't touched by the Capitol, showed her to be brave. She'd gone out beyond the fence to hunt as a child, to provide for her family.
He knew her to be kind, sweet, silly, and sarcastic. She was vulnerable and tough at the same time. She was stubborn and fiery. She was everything to him.
"I haven't had this since-" she paused.
"Since when we were in the tunnels."
"I was so confused, and scared."
"So was I, and I was hearing voices in my head."
Katniss began laughing. "Only you could make a joke out of that situation."
“Kind of my specialty,” he winked saucily at her and she blushed prettily.
Peeta wanted to declare his love, but wasn’t sure if she loved him. “So for dessert, I made a brown sugar cake with chocolate buttercream frosting.”
“I don’t know if I should hug you or kiss you,” Katniss said.
“Try both,” Peeta was openly flirting with her.
“Peeta!”
After a few moments, she said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For accepting me, for seeing past my faults…” she shrugged.
"You only say that because you-" Peeta was going to say 'love me,' but instead he changed it to. "…wish you could have my special ability to make bread." It was a lame, he knew it, but it was the best he could come up with.
Katniss smiled at him and continued eating. During the entire meal they spoke and shared meaningful looks. It was as if they were building toward something.
They finished eating and cleaned up, and headed upstairs to sleep. As they were getting ready to go to bed, brushing their teeth, Katniss kept on looking at him through the mirror. She was blushing.
When they were snuggled into the bed, Katniss spoke. “Peeta, do you think it’ll take?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, the peace?”
“Yeah,” Peeta said. “I think it will.”
Katniss propped herself up on her elbow, “How can you be sure?”
“Well, for one, I heard on the wireless today that they voted to tear down the arenas.”
Katniss’s eyes widened. “But even if they tear down the arenas, that doesn’t mean that peace’ll last.”
“Well there are two generations of people who know what war is like.”
“Two?” Katniss frowned.
“Yeah, there’s the generation like Greasy Saes and Clerk Carmine, who remember the first war and what it was like in the early days. Then there’s our lot who remember what it was like before the war, the hunger, the Games, the Reaping. We appreciate peace and freedom a lot more than the generation that will come next. They won’t understand why we suffer from nightmares, traumas, and other things.” He said referring to his highjacking. “But we’ll explain. And we’ll tell them so that they’ll keep the peace.”
Katniss laid back down and snuggled into his side. “I hope so, Peeta, for their sake that the peace will keep.”
“It will.”
“I don’t ever want to live through another war or go back to the way it was.”
“It won’t,” Peeta assured.
He felt the moment Katniss drifted off to sleep. However, in the middle of the night, Katniss had a nightmare. He woke up the moment he felt her restlessness. He was rubbing her back and shoulders, when she began to whimper and then scream.
"Hey," Peeta said, sitting up. He dragged her with him. She put her head on his shoulders.
Katniss continued to whimper.
"It's okay," Peeta gently swung her in his arms. "I'm here. It's okay."
She clung to him, whispering his name, over and over again.
Peeta looked down at her, wishing he could take her pain away. He whispered into her ear, "I'm here."
"I couldn't get you out, and they got you again," she whispered.
"It's okay, I'm alive," He gently brushed the tears away from her face. Then he gently placed a kiss on her lips.
“Kiss me again,” she whispered.
He kissed her and this kiss was different from all of the other kisses. This kiss was passionate, but it also felt as if the kiss was bonding them in a way that other kisses weren’t.
This kiss led to another and before he knew it their clothing was removed with gentle tenderness. Limbs became intertwined. Soft touches were exchanged, and when his eyes met hers their worlds melded.
After, for Peeta it was everything he hoped for, passionate, but slow and sweet. They didn't rush, but the lingering question remained. As he held her in his arms he asked. "You love me, real or not real?"
Peeta was scared of what she would say.
Katniss leaned up on her elbows and looked down into his eyes. "Real.” Katniss said with a smile. Then she asked, “You love me? Real or not real.”
“Real,” Peeta replied back with all of the love in his heart. “I love you.”
Peeta’s arms slide around her waist, his head nuzzling into her neck, “You love me real, or not real?”
It’s a silly game they play, an old joke from a computer science course they took freshman year. She thinks it had something to do with learning binary— maybe? It doesn’t really matter, the game is simple: “Real” she says.
He hums, the rumble sending a delicious shiver down her spine and she sinks into the embrace.
“Then what is this?” One arm keeps her in place while the other holds up an empty pastry wrapper.
Well that was short lived. “Oh my god,” she groans.
“Donettes? Really? You wound me Katniss.”
“You’re the worst!” she whines, elbowing him in the stomach and wiggling her way out of his grasp.
“Me?!” He says with exaggerated incredulity, “I’m the problem here?”
“I was across town and needed a pick me up. It was that or gas station coffee and you know I’m trying to cut back on caffeine!”
“There’s no excuse for this,” Peeta says waving the wrapper. Katniss rolls her eyes, snatching at the plastic before turning towards the trash. “Hey! Don’t taint my kitchen with that! Straight out to the dumpster— Rooba’s, not mine.”
hinkevanabbema asked: What do you think the pearl signifies throughout all three books?
I immediately think the pearl signifies Peeta. Every instance it comes up, she thinks of him. In its simplest meaning, pearl equals Peeta.
Suzanne Collins uses it as a literary tool. Since Katniss and Peeta are split apart for the chunk of the book, it helps the reader to see how much Katniss longs, misses and thinks about Peeta when he’s gone, and then when he’s hijacked. Katniss repeatedly brings the pearl out and keeps it safely with her.
I looked up what a pearl can represent. It varied. Ranging from innocence to the moon, with purity being the most common. I thought that was interesting. As we know, SC doesn’t do anything haphazardly. The pearl was deliberate.
Was Peeta pure? He stated that Katniss was so pure, but I don’t think that’s the intention behind the pearl. When I think of Peeta’s purity, I think of how Peeta is different than Katniss and Haymitch. He is innately good, loving, kind and selfless. Whereas, Katniss and Haymitch have lived a life where they’re inclined to do what’s best for themselves, for those closest to them and for survival.
We could almost leave it at that if it weren’t for the quote towards the end of the book. Peeta doesn’t want to be a danger to them and doesn’t trust himself.
“Should we free his hands?” asks Leeg 1.
“No!” Peeta growls at her, drawing his cuffs in close to his body.
“No.” I echo. “But I want the key.” Jackson passes it over without a word. I slip it into my pants pocket, where it clicks against the pearl.
“Where it clicks against the pearl.” SC specifically has Katniss mention the key against the pearl. I thought far too intensely about this. It was just one of those images I carried with me from the first time I read Mockingjay two years ago. The imagery is so intentional.
I believe that Katniss does hold the key to Peeta’s physical freedom (handcuffs) and the freedom from hijacking to reach his actual self (pearl.) Although Peeta has been tampered with by the Capitol, he’s still there. Who he is and who he was to Katniss, is still there.
There are some important examples of Katniss being the key for reaching Peeta. One is when they’re playing Real or Not Real around the campfire when he is sent to the Capitol to fight alongside them. Katniss is the only person that can verify or discount many of the things that are in his mind, especially since the memories regarding Katniss are the ones the Capitol tainted. Then, there’s the example from after the sewer. He’s struggling to keep it together and she kisses him, bringing him back to the “always” moment from Catching Fire.
We can still elaborate more on how they need each other since this carries throughout the rest of the story and ultimately, the rest of their lives. But since, our focus is the pearl, all we need to do is look at the text:
She rubs it.
She kisses it.
She sleeps with it.
She keeps it safe.
The pearl shows how much she is completely heartsick and absolutely in love with Peeta Mellark.
Peeta repeatedly saves Katniss’s life. It’s not in the way that one would imagine a typical hero saving a woman’s life. His greatest fight isn’t in his fists or how he specifically wields a weapon. His strongest defense and offense is his mind. He uses his mind like a skilled warrior does, using strategy and words to aim where there is the greatest impact.
One of the key pieces to Katniss’s survival and victory in the Games was Peeta’s tactic to reveal his true feelings for Katniss on a live stage.
“He made you look desirable! And let’s face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You’re all they’re talking about. The star-crossed lovers of District Twelve!” says Haymitch.
“But we’re not star-crossed lovers!” I say.
Haymitch grabs my shoulders and pins me against the wall. “Who cares? It’s all a big show. It’s all how you’re perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you’re a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?”
But now Peeta has made me an object of love. Not just his. To hear him tell it I have many admirers. And if the audience really thinks we’re in love…I remember how strongly they responded to his confession.
After dinner, we watch the replay in the sitting room. I seem frilly and shallow, twirling and giggling in my dress, although the others assure me I am charming. Peeta actually is charming and then utterly winning as the boy in love. And there I am, blushing and confused, made beautiful by Cinna’s hands, desirable by Peeta’s confession, tragic by circumstances and by all accounts, unforgettable.
I believe this one act changed the course of the Games for both of them. He purposefully and thoughtfully chose the time to reveal that information in the most impactful way. He laid the foundation for Katniss and himself to receive the Capitol’s favor. The Capitol’s favor meant sponsorship—food and medicine that literally saved them—and it meant there was no way they were going to allow their now favorite OTP to die.
One of the greatest ways they complement each other is in how he crafts his words. His words cut when they need to and bolster when necessary. A prime example is in Catching Fire when Katniss is mulling over why it would be better for Peeta to make it home than for her to live.
…Peeta can do much better than the rest of us. He can use words. He obliterated the rest of the field at both interviews. And maybe it’s because of that underlying goodness that he can move a crowd – no, a country – to his side with the turn of a simple sentence.
Then, of course, the baby bomb:
There. He’s done it again. Dropped a bomb that wipes out the efforts of every tribute who came before him. Well, maybe not. Maybe this year he has only lit the fuse on a bomb that the victors themselves have been building. Hoping someone would be able to detonate it. Perhaps thinking it would be me in my bridal gown. Not knowing how much I rely on Cinna’s talents, whereas Peeta needs nothing more than his wits.
We see him repeatedly doing all he can to save Katniss throughout The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. Every move, every thought, every decision, every word is dependent on how he can better Katniss’s chance of surviving and living. That’s why his hijacking is the most painful and most converse thing that SC could do to their relationship. Instead of his goal being her survival, it was her death that he himself tries to inflict.
The way I see it, there are two parts to the Mockingjay, the actual bird and the wind that helps it to fly. Yes, the wind beneath its wings. The analogy is cheesy and horrible, but it’s perfect. Although most of the world sees Katniss as being the hero, which she definitely is. She could not be who she is without him. She could not achieve what she did without him. She would not be the Mockingjay.
Peeta Mellark is brilliantly smart, strategic, and deliberate. He attacks with intelligence. He defends with worthy character. He leads and draws others with empathy, compassion and the sass that we love. His mind is one of the greatest, most underrated and overlooked weapons, and he deserves the credit for it.
Reading Catching Fire for the first time since reading Sunrise on the Reaping and had the inspiration to Draw Katniss eating breakfast at the Hob base on a Norman Rockwell painting.
Drop Dead by Olivia Rodrigo has been stuck in my head this whole weekend so here’s snippet from “kiss me, and i might”, a Victory Tour one shot I’m working on for Everlark Week!