Louis at the How Did We Get Here? Tour in St. Louis - 27.06

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@everyrulehasexceptions
Louis at the How Did We Get Here? Tour in St. Louis - 27.06
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
TOGETHER TOGETHER, LONDON NIGHT 6
https://x.com/hsdtogethertour/status/2073140448604868618 he's messy for this 😭
harry please i can't rn ... NOT TWO GHOSTS
harry styles in the bathtub through the years, an important collection
Harry at the Together, Together Tour in London Night IV (June 19th)
forgive me father for i am back on my bullshit
July Morning Joys by Dmitry Alekseev
a slaughterhouse. an outlet mall. slot machines. fear of god. you know the usual
and i know the end
unfortunately there are like 23 billion other things to worry about right now but just for the record: straight people who are trying to "rebrand" pride month as "national nuclear family month" are so fucking evil. positioning gay pride as antithetical to the concept of a family is evil. doing so in a way that is explicitly white nationalism is evil. acting like queer pride is the thing that destroys families is evil.
we are not just backsliding, we are back at the milquetoast assertation "love is love." for the record: when people ask us why we need pride this is literally fucking why. when other queer people ask me if we really need all the rainbow shit, this is why. when we make a fuss about so many shows not having any positive queer rep: this is why.
it has only been 11 years since it was nationally legal for gay people to get married. homophobia is still very much alive and well - and it is often the thing that ruins a family.
TAYLOR SWIFT and TRAVIS KELCE
In New York City (13 June 2026)
going to be so fr i had this thought about natural woman by carole king a few weeks ago
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus | Taylor Swift ✨In honor of SwiftSongClub # 2✨
Trace amounts of Monica in my life
A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life
My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica
They’ll have less than 72 hours to take down whatever is in there before and build a whole new set up and make it beautiful and this fairytale wedding that doesn’t feel like you’re in an arena. It’s literally not possible lol, I’m sure the picture will come out nice but it’s going to be such an ugly and tacky wedding being there. It will basically be a corporate work gala
you seem jealous
has nobody seen the videos of venue staff converting it from a hockey arena to a concert venue over night??
to me “you know I’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a child, give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother” is still Taylor’s most beautiful expression of love in lyrics, ever. it’s the fact that’s it’s followed immediately by “is it enough?” that sucks lol
Writing “The Story of Us” // Behind the scenes