It is hard for me to express myself verbally sometimes;
Like now, when I am fumbling with my words, even on paper.
And I find that it is hard for me to say what I want to say
Not because it is hard for me to say it out loud but
Because my thoughts are so jumbled and so messy that
I am forgetting what I wanted to say to you in the first place.
So please understand, why instead of just reading this to you,
In the hopes that I can try to express maybe just an inkling of what I want to say to you.
What’s on my mind… a jumbled mess
I should probably start now
Maybe I should start with a metaphor
… clearly, I have not thought this through.
Like the view from the highest mountain in the world.
I am out of metaphors. And I just feel like they don’t even begin to encapsulate your beauty, inside and out.
So maybe I should just try to use my own words.
If I have to describe you using my own words, no fancy metaphors or adjectives that I don’t think I understand -
You wear happiness so well.
It is like the world itself sings for you when you are happy, when you smile and laugh and your eyes crinkle, like little crescent moons.
And the world cries ugly tears when you take off your dress of happiness
Please always wear that dress.
You are a walking contradiction.
You are so sure of yourself sometimes; much like happiness, confidence is another one of your flowing gowns.
And yet, sometimes you are so insecure and so out of your element and so ashamed,
And it confuses me to no end.
I watch your eyes when you get increasingly doubtful about yourself, and it is equally painful for me when you deflate like a balloon.
I try to locate the hole that someone must have opened, I try to use my hands to cover the wound so no more air comes hissing out, so you don’t go from a floating, healthy balloon to a piece of wrinkled rubber.
I can not find it, and that is when I realise that air is leaking because you let it.
I am in agony, because I think I can stitch up wounds on the skin, but
I don’t think I can fix internal bleeding.
Those are for the professionals, and I am but an amateur.
I don’t want professionals to fix you though.
I watch you heal with stars in my eyes.
You are shining again, so bright that
Fiery and golden - golden like a wildfire.
Burning never felt so good.
I want to wipe every tear from your eyes and I want to memorize every smile on your face.
To collect everything that reminds me of you
Keep it safe in a jar and
Reminisce how we evolved,
I want to gather your face in my hands and splatter kisses all over it, smooth over your frowns
Ruffle my fingers through your hair.
Touch the ark of your cheek
Hold you like a delicate flower.
I do not know, but the world is tipping at its axis and you are all that I see.
I do not know where I am heading with this, but I want you to feel
Loved, cherished, treasured like rarity.
I do not know if you love yourself
I will be here to tell you this is how I feel -
Someone is feeling this way about you.
It is not just romance, I promise.
Could be anything and everything I feel about you will still be the same.
I just want to tell you this.
Want to hold you when you cry, tell you
‘Hey, it’s okay,’ when everything is not;
Saying ‘I will be here’ when it seems like no one else is.
When you need time alone,
I will wait for you outside your door.
When you are giving up, I will grab you by your shoulders and shake you.
When you have no strength, I will carry you on my back, until you are able to walk again.
When you are afraid, I will put a warm blanket around you and I will hug you until you are no longer shivering. I will hand you a sword.
‘Let’s fight your monsters together.’
I want to be the soft edges to your roughness and be your rough edges when you are soft.
This probably needs to end. Please, love yourself
I will love you for the both of us.
It might be enough for the time being.
But that will suck.
So please, see yourself for what you are worth.
Person reading this, you may think that you want to be who I was describing;
I am delivering this straight to you.
So when you are reading this,
Know that this is for you.
Someone is out there, yearning like this -
”
— From me (via thenobodypoetry)
