People's weight is such a fucking mess, and it feels like it is impossible to talk about it without getting somebody to respond "yes, but" or "well actually".
I'm fat, always have, always will be. I get fat phobia is a thing and I truly believe that we should have body neutrality, no assigned positive or negative associations to certain body types, but that is fucking impossible.
I've had medical issues throughout my adult life that has made my weight fluctuate. I've had points in my life where I was using eating as a coping mechanism. I say that with no judgment of myself, I was doing the best I could at the time. But the reality is this last year, I was heavier than I've ever been and it didn't feel good. My clothes didn't fight, I noticed huge differences in what my body felt capable of doing, and the blood tests showed high cholesterol and pre-diabetic. This was all after three years ago, when I lost 50 pounds and felt so good about myself and my bloodwork was spotless.
Now that my migraines have been managed, I'm back to working on losing weight. I'm on Wegovy, I'm watching what I'm eating, and trying to be more active. All of this has paid off. Since the beginning of June, I've lost 30 pounds. But, I feel like I can't even celebrate that because I will be seen as just another victim of diet culture. Never mind, that I physically and mentally feel better and my clothes fit like they used to.
I'm trying to make permanent lifestyle changes. I'm lucky, I like eating the same thing every day, because yay routines (neurodivergent much?). Instead of ordering food all of the time, I'm actually meal prepping the stuff for salads for dinner every day and a protein smoothie for lunch. Breakfast is hit and miss. I feel so much better eating these things, I have more energy, and know it is healthier.
That being said, I've been down the restrictive dieting path before. I used to wish I was disciplined enough to have an eating disorder. I used to diet and instead of saying I can't have anything, I'm actually changing that mindset to I can have anything, anytime I want. Nothing is off limits. If I'm craving it, it's my body telling me something and I'm 100% willing to make my body happy. That weirdly, has made my desire to order out so much less (which my bank account thanks me for as well) and when I do order out or eat something less healthy, I don't binge eat anymore. When I did have really restrictive habits in the past, if I broke the diet, I would binge eat because I felt like I had to have my fill and get it out of my system. But now, I don't feel that compulsion anymore.
Anyway, this has led to a lot healthier eating habits and such a positive mindset. My dad died when he was 51 from being an alcoholic and diabetic that didn't take care of his health. Those are my genes. I want to live a longer life than my dad and see my nieces and nephews grow up. That means taking care of myself.
When I go back to work in two weeks, I want to celebrate my weight loss over the summer. I do want the congratulations. I get why we don't comment on people's weight because you never know the reason. And I don't want to be told I look "better". But I can tell my whole energy and mental health is much better. I do have a goal weight of 200 pounds, which is still fat and plus size, so I'm not trying to be skinny. But the reality is my life would be easier and more comfortable at a lower weight and most importantly, the bloodwork doesn't lie, I'm a lot healthier.