Stop calling me father!

No, I am NOT nice. I'm EVIL.

[evil-fierce-deity]

i have an au where you're time and wild's adoptive father and yes all evil

Well at least you got the evil part correct!

I hear there are stories about me NOT being evil and that's just unacceptable!

[evillwild2]

since when were you my father

when did this happen

[evil-fierce-deity]

Do you think I know!? People have been calling me father for the past THREE DAYS.

This is what happens when I let a small child in evil green follow me around.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hi Dadity

did ya miss me

[evil-fierce-deity]

.....I was gone for PERHAPS 12 hours. No.

Did you remember to feed and water yourself while I was gone?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

no i'm currently dying of dehydration and starvation

cough

and i'm very sleep deprived

cooough

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well. I was going to comment that one day is not enough time for that to happen but now it's two days.

Have you recovered?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

yes, i have!!

thank you for your concern, father!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Ah good. *pats your head awkwardly with a very heavy hand*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

:OO

HEAD PATS!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Surely you have been pat on the head before.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

nope. nuh uh. not once.

noooo sireeeeee

i think you should give me more head pats. just sayin.

[evil-fierce-deity]

......

*pat*

*PAT*

*PUSH*

[evillwild2]

can i get one

i deserve one. you threw me with a tree

[evil-fierce-deity]

You said it was OKAY!

*sigh* Fine.

*pat* *pat* *pat*

Did you at least kill that idiotic Majora mask?

[evillwild2]

no hit i injured it! i think, i also learned the difference between major and small!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well, I'll take injured I guess.

Also...I just know I'm going to regret asking this but...what's the difference?

[evillwild2]

something about one being BIG and bad abd the other not being worried about

[evil-fierce-deity]

Yes, I do believe I regretted that. Okay then. I am going to see if I can figure out a way to finish off that annoying mask for good.

[bright-majora-mask]

kills you bc @evil-fierce-deity told me to

Oh man, that stupid evil diety! He's rude and bullies me! But hey, you can be nice to me! (Please!)

...I'm ignoring the fact that you killed me.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hmmm.... idk, man.... Evil Dadity is like... my father... and you're his enemy... i think i kinda have to be mean to you...

[bright-majora-mask]

Or you could just!! Not!! Yeah, just don't be mean to me!

That scary evil diety is mean enough, so you can just not be mean! You don't have to be nice!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i mean... technically i could be nice to you. but Evil Dadity might hate me (more than he already does) .... hmm.

y'know what

we're gonna be friends now

that's just how this works.

[bright-majora-mask]

Uh

Okay! We're friends now! Nice to be your friend, friend!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

mwahahaha

pokes you

[bright-majora-mask]

Ehehehe!!

*pokes you back*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

pokes you again

[bright-majora-mask]

*pokes you back and then dances around your next poke before poking you again*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

>:O

pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes y-

[bright-majora-mask]

*dancing around to try and avoid the pokes, but it's really not working. Occasionally counters back with pokes of my own*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

throws 999999 bricks at you

[bright-majora-mask]

WAHHH!!! WHERE DID ALL THESE BRICKS COME FROM?!

*Is now buried under bricks and not visible*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

NYAHAHAHA

throws another brick at you

[bright-majora-mask]

>:0 that makes this pile 1000 bricks!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

☝️🤓 erm akshually it would be 1000000-

gets shot

[bright-majora-mask]

MY FRIENDDDDDDDDD

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

coooough

i. think i'll be ok

cougj couhg

ughhh

a bullet to the head is!! nothing!!!

[bright-majora-mask]

I'll come and help you!!

*tries to get out of the bricks, is stuck*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

picks up a brick

collapses

continues picking up bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

*actively trying to push out of the pile of bricks.*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i shall... help you... coughf.....

picks up more bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

NOO!!! YOU'RE HURT!! You sit down and rest!!! I'll get outta here myself!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

awh... okay....

[evil-fierce-deity]

*looms behind*

What exactly is going on here?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

N- NOTHING

IM BEING EVIL I SWEAR

[evil-fierce-deity]

This doesn't LOOK evil! If you're going to follow me around calling me father, then maybe you should at least ACT like my child!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

sniffle...

i'm sorry father.....

I'M SORRY

[evil-fierce-deity]

Oh...oh not the face. Get a tissue or something you are leaking all over EVERYTHING.

*shoves a handkerchief at you*

[a-blupee]

Hey! HEY! Blue thing! Can you hide me from the Evil Fierce Deity? I don't want to take a bath.

@evil-young-link

🙂‍↕️🚫🛁

[evil-off-brand-halloween-ghost]

im a ghost and even i can smell your odor, you need a bath buddy.

@evil-fierce-deity please collect your gremlin child(?) at the closest opportunity possible, he stinks.

[evil-fierce-deity]

Excuse you! If the blupees are fine with his filthy presence, I don't see why it's MY job to fetch him.

[evil-young-link]

*burrows deeper into the blupees* Shhhhh....

[evil-fierce-deity]

BOY, you are NOT stealthy!

[evil-young-link]

*giggles*

[evil-fierce-deity]

*yanks Evil Young Link up by his collar out of the pile of Blupees*

Not. Stealthy.

[evil-young-link]

DAAAAAAD, let me DOWN! I'm not that dirty! C'MON!

[evil-fierce-deity]

*holds the boy under his arm and carries him away from the blupee pile* When we get home, you are going RIGHT into the bath because evilness is no reason to be DISGUSTING.

[mrsmusica]

Father of Time 2: The Ganondorf War, Chapter 11: Carnival's Eve

Despite the late night dancing and talking, holding Malon as close as he could, Link found himself waking early on the Third Day.  The clock struck nine times as he yawned and stretched, realising the girls were already gone as he looked around.  Not that early then.  How did they get up first and not wake him up?  Saria wasn't exactly quiet.  There were no signs of breakfast and his stomach growled angrily, not caring he had spent most of the previous night eating.  He would have to go find the food himself. 

With a sigh, he sat up and scratched his bare chest idly. An unfortunate collision with a Terminean at the dance last night had left his tunic and undershirt soaked through so he'd left them with Anju to clean today.  It felt weird to sleep without a top on while it was still a little chilly out, weirder still in a room he was sharing with two girls, but there hadn't been much choice last night.  

As he swung his legs out of bed with another yawn, Tael flew into the room with a cheerful hum and landed straight on top of the mess that was Link's hair.  The teen rolled his eyes but didn't complain about being used as a perch as he stood and went to find clean clothes.  He dug through his bag then reached all the way in, even getting his whole head inside despite Tael's complaints, but no sign of any scrap of clothing could be found.  He had only the shorts he kept for sleeping in and he straightened with an annoyed huff.

"Tael, do you know what happened to my clothes?"

(Read the rest on AO3)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[shadow-but-bright]

Who are you people and why am I here???? Please I never asked to be here can you unsummon me I really don’t think this is a good idea…

Update, I actually quite enjoy being evil and also alive! Don’t unsommon me, that would be very mean!!!!

I have a collection of parental units now, too!! @evil-malonnnn, @literal-legend-rabbit, @evilnayru, @evil-fierce-deity, @very-normal-ravio, @slightly-evil-ravio, and @realta-the-demigod are all part of that collection!!!! I am determined to be everyone’s child!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Hey, I never agreed to this co-parenting situation.

I'm not sure I agreed to parenting at all.

No, you absolutely can't use any of the other things I've said saying "okay" to being called father against me.

[shadow-but-bright]

Too!! Bad!!!! You’re part of my collection and nothing can change that now!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

What if I were to stop being evil? Would that work?

[shadow-but-bright]

Nope!!! Sure wouldn’t!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

FINE.

I will remain evil.

Go to your room!

[shadow-but-bright]

Which one??

I have a lot of rooms because of all the parental units I have!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

whichever one is furthest away from me!

[shadow-but-bright]

You’re kinda mean….. I think I’m gunna steal money from you in the future.

And no that doesn’t change the fact that you are one of my parental units!!! It’s forever!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Bold of you to assume I have money.

damnit!

What if I was NICE? Would that be too weird? Would that make people not want to call me father?

[shadow-but-bright]

But I need rupees to buy more yarn, and robbing you seems like a viable option!!! Be a good parental unit and help out your child!!!

AND THAT WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!! You’re trapped here forever!!! Sucks for you!!!!! You’re my paternal parental unit and nothing can change that ever!!!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

I told you I don't have any rupees! why would I need money? I'm an evil god! Maybe you should rob someone.

[shadow-but-bright]

That’s what I’m planning!! :)

[evil-fierce-deity]

I don't have any money for you to rob.

[shadow-but-bright]

Then I’ll find someone else!! Which was the original plan anyway!!!

I already have a contender, but he says he doesn’t have money either…. Why is everyone poor??

[evil-fierce-deity]

I don't need money. I am an evil god of *mummblemummble*. I don't know why no one else has money. Go shake some trees or something.

[shadow-but-bright]

Shaking trees is too much effort!! If you’re this all power deity, why don’t you just spawn some money and get rid of me that way?? Seems far simpler than this!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

That seems like work. No.

[evil-fierce-deity]

i have an au where you're time and wild's adoptive father and yes all evil

Well at least you got the evil part correct!

I hear there are stories about me NOT being evil and that's just unacceptable!

[evillwild2]

since when were you my father

when did this happen

[evil-fierce-deity]

Do you think I know!? People have been calling me father for the past THREE DAYS.

This is what happens when I let a small child in evil green follow me around.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hi Dadity

did ya miss me

[evil-fierce-deity]

.....I was gone for PERHAPS 12 hours. No.

Did you remember to feed and water yourself while I was gone?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

no i'm currently dying of dehydration and starvation

cough

and i'm very sleep deprived

cooough

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well. I was going to comment that one day is not enough time for that to happen but now it's two days.

Have you recovered?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

yes, i have!!

thank you for your concern, father!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Ah good. *pats your head awkwardly with a very heavy hand*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

:OO

HEAD PATS!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Surely you have been pat on the head before.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

nope. nuh uh. not once.

noooo sireeeeee

i think you should give me more head pats. just sayin.

[evil-fierce-deity]

......

*pat*

*PAT*

*PUSH*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

HEY

[evil-fierce-deity]

Oops.

*smirk*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

MEANIE

YOU'RE A MEANIE

oh wait you're supposed to be. ohhh.

[evil-fierce-deity]

Yes. That is rather the point of being evil.

I should remind you that YOU are the one who wished to be related to me.

[evil-fierce-deity]

i have an au where you're time and wild's adoptive father and yes all evil

Well at least you got the evil part correct!

I hear there are stories about me NOT being evil and that's just unacceptable!

[evillwild2]

since when were you my father

when did this happen

[evil-fierce-deity]

Do you think I know!? People have been calling me father for the past THREE DAYS.

This is what happens when I let a small child in evil green follow me around.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hi Dadity

did ya miss me

[evil-fierce-deity]

.....I was gone for PERHAPS 12 hours. No.

Did you remember to feed and water yourself while I was gone?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

no i'm currently dying of dehydration and starvation

cough

and i'm very sleep deprived

cooough

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well. I was going to comment that one day is not enough time for that to happen but now it's two days.

Have you recovered?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

yes, i have!!

thank you for your concern, father!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Ah good. *pats your head awkwardly with a very heavy hand*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

:OO

HEAD PATS!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Surely you have been pat on the head before.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

nope. nuh uh. not once.

noooo sireeeeee

i think you should give me more head pats. just sayin.

[evil-fierce-deity]

......

*pat*

*PAT*

*PUSH*

[evillwild2]

can i get one

i deserve one. you threw me with a tree

[evil-fierce-deity]

You said it was OKAY!

*sigh* Fine.

*pat* *pat* *pat*

Did you at least kill that idiotic Majora mask?

[evillwild2]

no hit i injured it! i think, i also learned the difference between major and small!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well, I'll take injured I guess.

Also...I just know I'm going to regret asking this but...what's the difference?

[bright-majora-mask]

kills you bc @evil-fierce-deity told me to

Oh man, that stupid evil diety! He's rude and bullies me! But hey, you can be nice to me! (Please!)

...I'm ignoring the fact that you killed me.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hmmm.... idk, man.... Evil Dadity is like... my father... and you're his enemy... i think i kinda have to be mean to you...

[bright-majora-mask]

Or you could just!! Not!! Yeah, just don't be mean to me!

That scary evil diety is mean enough, so you can just not be mean! You don't have to be nice!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i mean... technically i could be nice to you. but Evil Dadity might hate me (more than he already does) .... hmm.

y'know what

we're gonna be friends now

that's just how this works.

[bright-majora-mask]

Uh

Okay! We're friends now! Nice to be your friend, friend!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

mwahahaha

pokes you

[bright-majora-mask]

Ehehehe!!

*pokes you back*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

pokes you again

[bright-majora-mask]

*pokes you back and then dances around your next poke before poking you again*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

>:O

pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes y-

[bright-majora-mask]

*dancing around to try and avoid the pokes, but it's really not working. Occasionally counters back with pokes of my own*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

throws 999999 bricks at you

[bright-majora-mask]

WAHHH!!! WHERE DID ALL THESE BRICKS COME FROM?!

*Is now buried under bricks and not visible*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

NYAHAHAHA

throws another brick at you

[bright-majora-mask]

>:0 that makes this pile 1000 bricks!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

☝️🤓 erm akshually it would be 1000000-

gets shot

[bright-majora-mask]

MY FRIENDDDDDDDDD

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

coooough

i. think i'll be ok

cougj couhg

ughhh

a bullet to the head is!! nothing!!!

[bright-majora-mask]

I'll come and help you!!

*tries to get out of the bricks, is stuck*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

picks up a brick

collapses

continues picking up bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

*actively trying to push out of the pile of bricks.*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i shall... help you... coughf.....

picks up more bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

NOO!!! YOU'RE HURT!! You sit down and rest!!! I'll get outta here myself!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

awh... okay....

[evil-fierce-deity]

*looms behind*

What exactly is going on here?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

N- NOTHING

IM BEING EVIL I SWEAR

[evil-fierce-deity]

This doesn't LOOK evil! If you're going to follow me around calling me father, then maybe you should at least ACT like my child!

[a-blupee]

Hey! HEY! Blue thing! Can you hide me from the Evil Fierce Deity? I don't want to take a bath.

@evil-young-link

🙂‍↕️🚫🛁

[evil-off-brand-halloween-ghost]

im a ghost and even i can smell your odor, you need a bath buddy.

@evil-fierce-deity please collect your gremlin child(?) at the closest opportunity possible, he stinks.

[evil-fierce-deity]

Excuse you! If the blupees are fine with his filthy presence, I don't see why it's MY job to fetch him.

[evil-young-link]

*burrows deeper into the blupees* Shhhhh....

[evil-fierce-deity]

BOY, you are NOT stealthy!

[evil-young-link]

*giggles*

[evil-fierce-deity]

*yanks Evil Young Link up by his collar out of the pile of Blupees*

Not. Stealthy.

[anti-korok]

*whispering* yahaha they'll never find me here >:)

[evil-fierce-deity]

*yanks up the anti-korok as well*

Just what do you think you're doing?

[a-blupee]

Hey! HEY! Blue thing! Can you hide me from the Evil Fierce Deity? I don't want to take a bath.

@evil-young-link

🙂‍↕️🚫🛁

[evil-off-brand-halloween-ghost]

im a ghost and even i can smell your odor, you need a bath buddy.

@evil-fierce-deity please collect your gremlin child(?) at the closest opportunity possible, he stinks.

[evil-fierce-deity]

Excuse you! If the blupees are fine with his filthy presence, I don't see why it's MY job to fetch him.

[evil-young-link]

*burrows deeper into the blupees* Shhhhh....

[evil-fierce-deity]

BOY, you are NOT stealthy!

[evil-young-link]

*giggles*

[evil-fierce-deity]

*yanks Evil Young Link up by his collar out of the pile of Blupees*

Not. Stealthy.

[bright-majora-mask]

kills you bc @evil-fierce-deity told me to

Oh man, that stupid evil diety! He's rude and bullies me! But hey, you can be nice to me! (Please!)

...I'm ignoring the fact that you killed me.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hmmm.... idk, man.... Evil Dadity is like... my father... and you're his enemy... i think i kinda have to be mean to you...

[bright-majora-mask]

Or you could just!! Not!! Yeah, just don't be mean to me!

That scary evil diety is mean enough, so you can just not be mean! You don't have to be nice!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i mean... technically i could be nice to you. but Evil Dadity might hate me (more than he already does) .... hmm.

y'know what

we're gonna be friends now

that's just how this works.

[bright-majora-mask]

Uh

Okay! We're friends now! Nice to be your friend, friend!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

mwahahaha

pokes you

[bright-majora-mask]

Ehehehe!!

*pokes you back*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

pokes you again

[bright-majora-mask]

*pokes you back and then dances around your next poke before poking you again*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

>:O

pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes you pokes y-

[bright-majora-mask]

*dancing around to try and avoid the pokes, but it's really not working. Occasionally counters back with pokes of my own*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

throws 999999 bricks at you

[bright-majora-mask]

WAHHH!!! WHERE DID ALL THESE BRICKS COME FROM?!

*Is now buried under bricks and not visible*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

NYAHAHAHA

throws another brick at you

[bright-majora-mask]

>:0 that makes this pile 1000 bricks!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

☝️🤓 erm akshually it would be 1000000-

gets shot

[bright-majora-mask]

MY FRIENDDDDDDDDD

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

coooough

i. think i'll be ok

cougj couhg

ughhh

a bullet to the head is!! nothing!!!

[bright-majora-mask]

I'll come and help you!!

*tries to get out of the bricks, is stuck*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

picks up a brick

collapses

continues picking up bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

*actively trying to push out of the pile of bricks.*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

i shall... help you... coughf.....

picks up more bricks

[bright-majora-mask]

NOO!!! YOU'RE HURT!! You sit down and rest!!! I'll get outta here myself!!

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

awh... okay....

[evil-fierce-deity]

*looms behind*

What exactly is going on here?

[evil-fierce-deity]

i have an au where you're time and wild's adoptive father and yes all evil

Well at least you got the evil part correct!

I hear there are stories about me NOT being evil and that's just unacceptable!

[evillwild2]

since when were you my father

when did this happen

[evil-fierce-deity]

Do you think I know!? People have been calling me father for the past THREE DAYS.

This is what happens when I let a small child in evil green follow me around.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hi Dadity

did ya miss me

[evil-fierce-deity]

.....I was gone for PERHAPS 12 hours. No.

Did you remember to feed and water yourself while I was gone?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

no i'm currently dying of dehydration and starvation

cough

and i'm very sleep deprived

cooough

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well. I was going to comment that one day is not enough time for that to happen but now it's two days.

Have you recovered?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

yes, i have!!

thank you for your concern, father!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Ah good. *pats your head awkwardly with a very heavy hand*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

:OO

HEAD PATS!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Surely you have been pat on the head before.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

nope. nuh uh. not once.

noooo sireeeeee

i think you should give me more head pats. just sayin.

[evil-fierce-deity]

......

*pat*

*PAT*

*PUSH*

[evillwild2]

can i get one

i deserve one. you threw me with a tree

[evil-fierce-deity]

You said it was OKAY!

*sigh* Fine.

*pat* *pat* *pat*

Did you at least kill that idiotic Majora mask?

[bright-majora-mask]

HI BRIGHT MAJORA!!!! Oh yeah so sorry about you being stuck in a mask btw, anyways the reason I’m here is to ask you what you think my new friend’s name should be!!! I have been going around asking anyone I can think of and now it’s your turn, what do you think my new friend’s name should be? 😁😁😁😁

-@therealtulin

(Also if I forget anyone they are free to do suggestions in the asks of my account, even if they aren’t a character involved in the evil link thing but do know that I’m almost done asking so please hurry)

AAHH! It's kinda scary! Like the scary moons that scary God throws at me!

Call it Moon!

[therealtulin]

I personally don’t think my new friend is scary but your response has been recorded!!! thanks for responding!!! and also are you okay? Why are you getting moons thrown at you? 😅😅😅😅

[bright-majora-mask]

It's the @evil-fierce-deity!!! He keeps throwing moons at me! AND he put me in this mask!

I put him in a mask, too, but he escaped it and is tormenting me!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

I took offense to the mask thing! You DESERVED it!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Bite bite bite bite bite bite

(@evilwolfielu)

HEY! BAD DOG! BAD! STOP! Those are my favourite boots! *grabs wolfie by the scruff of his neck* Just what do you think you're doing!?

[evilwolfielu]

>:OOO *Wriggle wriggle wriggle*

[evil-fierce-deity]

*glares*

*glares more*

*puts wolfie down*

If you bite me again, I'm going to throw you to the moon.

[evilwolfielu]

>:(((((

Lick lick lick lick

[evil-fierce-deity]

You are getting DROOL on my BOOTS!

*picks up an extremely large tree branch and throws it* Go fetch!

[shadow-but-bright]

Who are you people and why am I here???? Please I never asked to be here can you unsummon me I really don’t think this is a good idea…

Update, I actually quite enjoy being evil and also alive! Don’t unsommon me, that would be very mean!!!!

I have a collection of parental units now, too!! @evil-malonnnn, @literal-legend-rabbit, @evilnayru, @evil-fierce-deity, @very-normal-ravio, @slightly-evil-ravio, and @realta-the-demigod are all part of that collection!!!! I am determined to be everyone’s child!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Hey, I never agreed to this co-parenting situation.

I'm not sure I agreed to parenting at all.

No, you absolutely can't use any of the other things I've said saying "okay" to being called father against me.

[shadow-but-bright]

Too!! Bad!!!! You’re part of my collection and nothing can change that now!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

What if I were to stop being evil? Would that work?

[shadow-but-bright]

Nope!!! Sure wouldn’t!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

FINE.

I will remain evil.

Go to your room!

[shadow-but-bright]

Which one??

I have a lot of rooms because of all the parental units I have!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

whichever one is furthest away from me!

[shadow-but-bright]

You’re kinda mean….. I think I’m gunna steal money from you in the future.

And no that doesn’t change the fact that you are one of my parental units!!! It’s forever!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Bold of you to assume I have money.

damnit!

What if I was NICE? Would that be too weird? Would that make people not want to call me father?

[shadow-but-bright]

But I need rupees to buy more yarn, and robbing you seems like a viable option!!! Be a good parental unit and help out your child!!!

AND THAT WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!! You’re trapped here forever!!! Sucks for you!!!!! You’re my paternal parental unit and nothing can change that ever!!!!!

[evil-fierce-deity]

I told you I don't have any rupees! why would I need money? I'm an evil god! Maybe you should rob someone.

[shadow-but-bright]

That’s what I’m planning!! :)

[evil-fierce-deity]

I don't have any money for you to rob.

[shadow-but-bright]

Then I’ll find someone else!! Which was the original plan anyway!!!

I already have a contender, but he says he doesn’t have money either…. Why is everyone poor??

[evil-fierce-deity]

I don't need money. I am an evil god of *mummblemummble*. I don't know why no one else has money. Go shake some trees or something.

[evil-fierce-deity]

i have an au where you're time and wild's adoptive father and yes all evil

Well at least you got the evil part correct!

I hear there are stories about me NOT being evil and that's just unacceptable!

[evillwild2]

since when were you my father

when did this happen

[evil-fierce-deity]

Do you think I know!? People have been calling me father for the past THREE DAYS.

This is what happens when I let a small child in evil green follow me around.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

hi Dadity

did ya miss me

[evil-fierce-deity]

.....I was gone for PERHAPS 12 hours. No.

Did you remember to feed and water yourself while I was gone?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

no i'm currently dying of dehydration and starvation

cough

and i'm very sleep deprived

cooough

[evil-fierce-deity]

Well. I was going to comment that one day is not enough time for that to happen but now it's two days.

Have you recovered?

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

yes, i have!!

thank you for your concern, father!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Ah good. *pats your head awkwardly with a very heavy hand*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

:OO

HEAD PATS!

[evil-fierce-deity]

Surely you have been pat on the head before.

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

nope. nuh uh. not once.

noooo sireeeeee

i think you should give me more head pats. just sayin.

[evil-fierce-deity]

......

*pat*

*PAT*

*PUSH*

[ellipsesandawkwardpauses]

HEY

[evil-fierce-deity]

Oops.

*smirk*

[evil-fierce-deity]

HIII, eViL fIeRcE dEiTy, that your name if I’m right? Anyways I made a new friend so now I’m going around asking people what they think his new name should be, and guess what, ITS YOUR TURN NOW🤩🤩🤩🤩

what do you think his name should be? 🙃

-@therealtulin

(Also if I forget anyone they are free to do suggestions in the asks of my account, even if they aren’t a character involved in the evil link thing)

Do you normally name rats?

Wait, no, this is something tiny mortals like to do, isn't it?

Go ask Evil Young Link, he would care more than I do.