Curmudgeon

[katiebishop]

[slimegargoyle]

I get pregnant, throw a “gender reveal” party, cut open the cake to reveal a landslide of green m&ms. “what does green mean??” my relatives ask, scandalized. in their confusion, they fail to notice that the doors have been barred. they are now my captive audience. “settle in, folks,” I say, “it’s time for gender theory 101. I have slides.”

[darthbanes-deactivated20160626]

ily: i love you

ilysm: i love you so much

dlmoisttlotjidnftdsaydihbpjfastmne: Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire.

[fruitandfitspo]

[yesjezebel]

Thank you!

[jemspark]

Over the rainbow, and rooftops

[fincherfogg]

Hello! This lil cherry wants to go on an adventure, where should i send him?

[cpwiser10]

He might like a camping trip!

[fincherfogg]

What a great idea!

Unfortunately people dont make tiny tents for cherries, but at least the fire kept him warm!

where should cherry go next?

[shmepard]

he could go to space & meet a tiny fruit alien :3

[fincherfogg]

That sounds wonderful!

Look at him go!

Where should we send Cherry next?

[fincherfogg]

Of course!

Where should cherry go next?

[fincherfogg]

Sounds like fun!

the mermaids didnt seem to want to play but Cherry still had a good time seeing all those fish!

[fincherfogg]

aww looks like the lil guy’s all tuckered out from his adventure today, thank you for helping him, he had a great time!

[coocoo-for-kokoro]

I’m so happy this post didn’t turn into something violent or gross. I love cherry <3

[goldenbuttonsnpearls]

[bishopbriggss-deactivated201612]

it’s 2014 why do boys still think girls like the smell of axe

[classicgansey]

idk bout u but i love the smell of an axe in my hands. smells like wood polish and cold iron. smells like power and fear. 

[neeraja-deactivated20170625]

when you say a great comeback without stuttering

[hermesapprentice]

Lies I have told

I always tell people that my cat doesn’t really like people that much even though she is really cuddly so they feel special when she cuddles them.

[mossadspydolphin]

You are the best person

[dorkstrider-blog]

why do women’s clothing designers believe that girls do not need pockets

[everydayisachorechorechore]

It’s so they can sell us bags

[ichanic]

[atheismwethinkmore]

[verybritishproblems]

“Say that again” - Translation: I was ignoring you then you actually said something quite interesting

[disneyroyalty]

[apocalypticinsomnia]

when ur friends are insulting something they know ur sensitive about

[memewhore]