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Game of Thrones Daily
#extradirty
Three Goblin Art
Sweet Seals For You, Always
izzy's playlists!
Kaledo Art
Andulka
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
shark vs the universe
titsay
noise dept.
we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
d e v o n
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$LAYYYTER
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@existential-phandoms
Ive been hacked....
I was scrolling threw my account today and noticed some things that i most certainly DID NOT reblog. (I've since deleted them) that were in my feed leaving me to conclude that i think I’ve been hacked so im going to delete this account and start again. Sorry.
i cant believe its canon canon that dean gets grumpy, sarcastic, and short-tempered when hes worried about cas’ well being. alert the fic writers
“i’m gonna censor that”
Pouty!lips Jensen and Dean |anon request
They look delicious
twink → twunk
Can you belive @danisnotonfire invented glow ups
Dan's friends are worried about all the bruises and limping and welts (from belts and rope) and even though he reassures them, they're still concerned. Eventually they confront Phil and when Dan overhears the conversation in the other room, he has to go tell them that they're just really kinky.
I love this oh my god
there’s no sex in this, just bants and misunderstandings lol
* “Hey, have you seen Dan recently?”
* “No? We don’t have any classes together this semester, so it’s been a while.”
* “He’s always got these bruises and stuff all over him, and he always says he’s just fallen or he walked into something, but I swear to God every time I see him now he’s got some new injury.”
* “Oh my God…”
* “Right? And he lives with his boyfriend. Dan keeps insisting that nothing is wrong, he doesn’t do anything about it.”
* “That really doesn’t sound good…”
–
* “Oh my God, Dan, what happened to you? Why are you limping?” Jessica placed a hand on his back.
* “Uh, I just tripped,” Dan said, blushing. How do I tell them that it’s because Phil and I have really great sex?
* “Are you sure?” They asked, looking at the welts around his wrists meaningfully. “Nothing… else is going on?”
* Dan looked at them with his head tilted. “No?” The two of them continued walking, Dan trying to ignore the weight of Jessica’s gaze studying him.
* “Hey, Dan, Jessica!” A voice from behind them called. They turned around.
* “Hey – holy shit, Dan, what happened to you?” Andrew grabbed his wrist, but when Dan flinched at the pressure on the sore skin, he dropped it like it was on fire. “Dude, did Phil do this to you?”
* Dan paused for too long, trying to think about how to reassure them without coming flat out and admitting what their sex life was like. He saw Andrew’s eyes narrow and Jessica crossed their arms. “He did, didn’t he,” Andrew said, his voice flat.
* “No, no it’s not like that,” Dan protested. He cursed the cliche situation and how it sounded like he was just denying the truth when it wasn’t true at all.
* Andrew pulled out his phone, turning away as he typed something, before turning back. “If you’re not going to do anything, then we will, because we care about you.” He motioned to Jessica, and the two of them headed off. “See you later, Dan, hopefully when this is all resolved.”
* Dan watched them go, not sure what the hell just happened. Do I follow them? Where are they going? What the fuck… Dan ran his hand through his hair, staring helplessly in the direction that his friends went, before realizing the time. Fuck, I’m late for class…
–
* “Hey, Phil, I’m home!” Dan took his shoes off but paused at the other shoes by the door. Did Phil say he was inviting friends over…? Wait… Fuck. That sounds like Andrew and Jessica…
* “Look, Phil, you seem like a really nice guy but everything adds up. Dan doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment from you, nobody does. He loves you, how dare you do that to him?”
* “Jessica, that’s… It’s not –” “Don’t you dare try to explain this away, it’s fucked up how people like you can just do stuff like that to others,” Andrew cut him off. Oh shit, Dan thought, dropping his bag to the ground and racing to where they were talking. He could hear how uncomfortable Phil was; he didn’t like to be vulgar or crass (at least outside of the bedroom), so he was clearly struggling to explain, especially when his loud friends were interrupting him.
* “Oh my God, guys, leave Phil alone.” Dan burst into the room, cringing at the situation. Jessica and Andrew were standing, apparently having sprung up from their seats to yell, while Phil was sitting down nervously, looking panicked.
* “Dan, you don’t have to defend him,” Jessica said. “None of this is your fault.”
* Dan could feel a blush rising on his face, not looking forward to the conversation they were about to have. There was absolutely no way he could let his friends continue to think that Phil was abusive, and he knew there was no other explanation he could use to placate them. His friends were looking weirdly at him now because of his red cheeks.
* “Um… So, about that,” he mumbled. He risked a glance up at Phil and could see that he was blushing, too, clearly seeing where this was going. Phil shifted uncomfortably in his seat but froze when Jessica’s eyes snapped back to him, their eyes cold.
* “We… uh….” Dan blushed harder, scratching at the back of his head sheepishly. “We just have really intense sex,” Dan mumbled, unable to believe that this was how his life was currently playing out.
* There was an uncomfortable silence. “Wait, that’s a really shitty excuse?” Andrew asked, unsure. “I mean, you always have bruises…”
* “Uh…” Dan looked helplessly at Phil and then at Jessica. Phil had his hands up to his face, either in the hopes that they would cool his cheeks or to hide his face, or both, while Jessica was blushing a little and covering their mouth with a hand. “Andrew, we… We have really kinky sex, that’s why. Like… uh… BDSM and shit…”
* There was another moment of silence while Andrew took that in. “Holy shit, I’m kinkshaming,” he said in disbelief, sounding both like he was asking rhetorically and also like he was disappointed in himself. “What the fuck, you guys have sex that often?! You have new bruises almost every day!”
* Dan and Phil made eye contact and Phil smiled cheekily at him even though they were both still blushing.
* “What can I say, we have a… healthy sex life,” Dan said.
* “You know, this is starting to sound astonishingly like a conversation I don’t really want to have,” Jessica said. “I don’t want to know what exactly you guys get up to. I’m really glad that this didn’t turn out like how Andrew and I thought it would; sorry about that, Phil.” They stood up, Andrew following in a daze, likely contemplating what exactly happens in their bedroom.
* After seeing them out, Dan looked at Phil. “I can’t believe this is my life,” he whined. “I just had to tell my friends, ‘No, sorry, my boyfriend isn’t abusing me, we just have really kinky sex all the time and that’s why I have bruises and shit all over me’. I literally can’t believe this.”
* “I can’t believe your friends actually came here to yell at me… You have really good friends, though.”
–
* “Dan? Can you get the door?” Phil yelled from the kitchen.
* Dan opened the door to the postman holding out a cake box. “Dan Howell?” The man confirmed.
* “Yes?” Dan, mystified, taking the box. “Thanks?” He closed the door with his foot. “Phil? Did you order a cake?”
* “No? Maybe it’s a mistake?” Phil said as he walked out of the kitchen to meet him.
* “A miscake, even,” Dan snickered. They made finger guns at each other and laughed before Dan continued, “But no, the postman even made sure it was me, even though he definitely recognizes me. How rude.”
* “Well, cake is cake.” Phil shrugged. “If it’s addressed to you, we might as well appreciate the sender’s gift.”
* Dan set the box down and his eyes caught the label in the corner: “To: Dan (and Phil); From: Jessica”.
* “It’s from Jessica,” Dan said, starting to undo the ribbon. When he pulled open the lid, he smacked his hand against his forehead. “Oh my God.”
* “What does it say?” Phil asked, leaning in, before hiding his face in his hands and repeating what Dan had said. “Oh my God.”
* The cake was covered in white buttercream and decorated with lavender and blue fondant roses. Delicately scrawled in cursive with red piping gel was: “Congrats on the kinky sex", and a post-script on a small rectangular sheet of white chocolate in the same red piping gel was: “Sorry for jumping to conclusions”.
* “How the fuck did she get someone at an actual bakery to do this?!”
* “Hey, now we have dessert for later!”
* “Maybe we can use the roses for other things…” Dan winked suggestively.
* “Is there a kink you don’t have?”
* “The limit does not exist.”
- Rebecca
Send us your sins
Holy shit I love this 😂😂
GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL GET PHIL TO 4 MIL
this actually happened.
so guys: Chester-Wolf Howelester, Danye, Irony, totally no homo howell, Ricky Blitz, Literally Lester or Sarah Michelle Gellester?
Holy shit how have I never seen this before
You: you're a hoe Me, an intellectual: thou art bawdy
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.
Break time!
the gif is supposed to move…
This should do it! Have a break!
here
Okay smart stuff
Eat reese’s we know how to make gifs
Looks bad Reese’s
At least it loads
I’m still allergic to peanuts you fuck
some serious shit is going down over here
“Hey how do you think 2016 is gonna finish out?” “Probably some sort of kitkat meme I’d say”
Can you believe that dan and phil invented selling honeymoon photo books?
wow anon
idk
what
you
mean
do you ever just listen to Spotify or the radio or something and a song you hate comes on so you’re like ew what the h*ck change it get this freaking trash away from me, but then it changes to l a song you love/perfectly fits your mood right after and it’s like ahhhhhh yes much better you have been forgiven
Halloween is only several weeks away. You know what that means! PLEDGE YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO THE SKELETON WAR. OR ELSE SKELETONS WILL BLAME US IF THEY LOSE AND PUT BONES IN ALL OF OUR SOUP. IT’S AWFUL.
tarot reader: now I will show you your fortune
me: cool I guess
tarot reader: why is every card death, what the fuck, I don't even have that many death cards
me: figures
Lewis Black has a message for millennials planning to sit out the presidential election.
well shit when you put it like that
Those able: go fucking vote
