zord_lord

That's why my hair is so big. It's full of secrets.

[pansyfemme]

whatever.

[pansyfemme]

i dont caaaaaare

[pansyfemme]

google search how to make someone explode

[1percentcharge]

momentarily had the thought “shout out to my platonic harem” and then remembered that’s called friends

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[rekoncha]

what would you do if two months into dating your girlfriend turns to you one day and tells you that she’s “finally memorized your attack patterns”

[maxcessorytomurder]

show her my second phase

[longnuts]

Does anyone know what to do

[princecarlton]

[papayajuan2019]

paper and pen seems so powerful now. on account of all the. surveillance

[cutecipher]

thank you for putting a random white boy on my post i guess

[cutecipher]

he will be going in the acid though goodbye white boy

[aberrantemotion]

OP NO. ADDING A WHITE BOY TO A VAT OF ACID CREATES A "THE JOKER.:

[cutecipher]

fuck.

[tall]

[dogpuppy]

[epicsause-official]

"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.

[epicsause-official]

wikipedia has a whole ass section dedicated to international variants of the idiom so let me quickly run through them

see this is even worse than oranges. pears and apples are like the most comparable things ever. france takes another L

ok so this is what i mean. these are measures of temperature and texture and are in fact not very comparable. молодцы ребята продолжаем в том же духе.

colombia wins most vivid image invoked hands down. would not want that to happen to me.

and i think we can all agree romania wins this hands down. everyone give a big round of applause to romania

[gobusto]

saw someone mix up "abysmal" and "abyssal" today, so as a reminder:

her skills are abysmal = she is unskilled

her skills are abyssal = her abilities draw upon the forbidden power of the dark void

[sacred-portal]

[bakwaaas]

Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again

[dragonroar87]

legendary dashboard pull

[segamascott]

[chimaerakitten]

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

[just-a-little-dead-inside]