Clown Husbandry And Clown Memes

Don’t let the clown husbandry meme die. It’s too good. This blog is going to be dedicated to educated potential clown owners on the proper care and feeding of their clowns. Follow for clownery and general foolishness.

[clownology4dummies]

if you believe declawing clowns is in any way humane or acceptable just fucking block me

[cloun-trash]

I’m not gonna say this again, clownblr:

TOMFOOLS ARE NOT FOOLS!!!

Fools are wild animals, and should NOT be kept as pets.

Tomfools are clowns specifically bred to fend them off!

I am SO SICK of people telling me to keep my sweet Highland Tomfool mix away from the clown park. Like, do dog people make this mistake with Irish Boarhounds? 😒 DO! YOUR! RESEARCH!

[doctorpigmd]

Please anyone with knowledge of animal stuff help out??? My cat girl is starting a cult with my clown heard and has taken over the circus tent. They aren’t responding to any of the Diet Coke traps or c*m treats. Please respond quickly they are threatening to disrupt the clown polycule.

[exoticclownsrus]

Well the Diet Coke is likely your problem. While clowns are not obligate dulcivores sugar is still a staple in their diets. You’ll want to get regular Coke for your clown traps.

For your Catgirl, I recommend vanilla ice cream on a stick (as opposed to a cone or a bowl).

Definitely separate them as soon as possible. I’m not an expert on catgirls, but it sounds like she needs more stimulation. Perhaps a part time job at a maid cafe could be a good outlet for her pent up energy.

Good luck!

[morinokunikara]

Could I bring my catgirl gf into this not pet friendly apartment?

[bkdk]

i think the real question is...should you? i just think outdoor catgirls are better...

[morinokunikara]

Oh my god how many times do we have to have this discussion.

There is no such thing as an outdoor catgirls.

Outdoor catgirls are a danger to both themselves and the environment. They have significantly shorter lifespans and disturb the ecosystem. If your catgirl wants to go outside, accompany her. Hold her hand or better yetz let her ride piggyback. But do not let her go outside alone. My friend let her catgirl go outside unaccompanied ONCE and she disturbed a magical girl battle, throwing off the balance of the universe. Please do not let your catgirl outside.

[werewolvesatemylife-deactivated]

clown husbandry tumblr i need help: i have a domesticated catgirl and i wanted to bring a clown in my household but i dont know witch would get along with my catgirl. catgirls are very different species and need a lot of care but shes been getting along swimmingly with the neighborhood clowns, so i think we are ready for a new friend. but theirs so many types its hard to choose. for context: my catgirl is a blonde calico mix whose been show trained for anime convention costume contests. a clown that shares her love for costuming would be ideal. 

[exoticclownsrus]

I read in the notes that your neighbors mostly have Rodeos. That’s fine if they are well kept and we’ll trained, but they’re a bit too advanced for a beginner. They tend to be more aggressive and territorial.

I’d recommend a common Big Top or BT mix if you have the space as they have a more docile nature and are easy to train.

Good Luck!

[clowncarecore]

One of my favorite youtubers, @strange-aeons did a video about clown care! Thank you so much for looking into the tag and raising awareness for the correct way to raise a clown!

I noticed a large influx of interactions, and I just wanted to say welcome! Feel free to send asks about your questions, concerns, and hopefully compliments!

[gothwonu]

With the Halloween season coming up, I want to remind everyone of some important information on Horror/Creepy clowns.

Horror clowns are NOT usually agressive, they only scare people because they believe that being scared=being happy.

DO NOT buy horror clowns for children. EVER. Most horror clowns are really difficult to take care of and are only suitable for experienced clown owners.

DO NOT approach any horror clowns you might spot in the wild, around this time is their nesting season and they are far more easy to provoke. Many horror clowns ARE venemous while nesting, so be especially cautious.

If you’re interested in renting a horror clown for a party, do thorough research into who you’re renting from, and be sure they keep their clowns healthy and in a stimulating environment. And be sure to make sure your clown won’t be overwhelmed by the strangers at the party!

After halloween, many horror clowns are turned into shelters or released into the wild. Be on the lookout, and if you are an experienced clown owner, consider adopting an abandoned horror clown!

-A concerned Horror clown owner

[exoticclownsrus]

Brininging this back since spooky season is on the way. Please be mindful of your scare clowns needs during this time!

[kyleknight]

To serious prospective clown owners: 

Consider adopting an older clown! 

Older clowns are just as wonderful as younger clowns and can be just as much of a joy to you and your family. Older clowns in shelters are very often overlooked because they aren’t as cute or energetic as younger clowns. 

Just make sure you’re ready to commit time and energy to your older clown, because they will have a lot of love to give you in their final years! 

[doctorcorby]

On clown breeding

PLEASE home breeders! 

When you’re breeding your clowns remember that TROUPE STATUS is as important as sex when breeding! Clowns do not have a true ‘gender’ the way we consider it, but male and female sexed clowns have one of three mating positions in the troupe.

These positions are

BLANC/JOEY (Joey is the American term) (non-egg bearing)

AUGUSTE (egg bearing)

and

CONTRA-AUGUSTE (promotes hormone facilitation)

Do NOT listen to breeders who tell you that you can breed two auguste clowns or two joeys with a good result. Double august/double joey clown eggs are almost never viable! For best results you want an August and a Joey, preferably with a pair-accepted contra-august!

[shipburner]

hey this is just a quick reminder that while “scary clowns” WERE originally bred as fighting animals they are, if given love and care, no more likely to be aggressive than any other clown, and the prevalence of scary clown attacks is due far more to the popularity of the breed

[inflagrante-delicatessen]

September 2016: omfg killer clowns wtf this is terrifying pls stop

September 2017: balloons are not proper enrichment and this is how you do clown husbandry correctly

[andaisq]

Listen, guys, I see a LOT of misconceptions going around clownblr right now - and it makes sense! There’s been a massive upswing in public interest! Nobody’s born with a copy of Bozoldi’s Taxonomy in their hands! But I can’t stand the thought of clowns getting hurt because of this, so here’s some quick points.

First of all, clowns are NOT obligate dulcivores!!!! YES, they do enjoy sugar, YES, a healthy diet should include plenty of cotton candy to give them energy to caper, but they’re still omnivores!! ALL extant clown breeds descend on some level from the Greater Fool, which feeds mostly on carrion and rodents. Post-Colombian clown husbandry leaned heavily on the sadly extinct Least Clown (and yes, “clown” was once a specific breed!), which was primarily fructivorous with a supplementary diet of natural legumes. BOTH were omnivores, though their respective environments had forced a diet shift. Modern clowns are capable of eating just about anything, and they should! They’re not well adjusted for rough fiber, so stay away from grains and greens, but next time you put a bowl of candyfloss out for your Bozo, give him a mouse too! Don’t be alarmed by the mess - clowns do like to toy with their prey.

THIS GOES DOUBLE FOR MIMES. Mimes are PRIMARILY carnivorous! They were never crossed with the Least Clown - you can tell by their coloration - so a mostly dulcivorous diet is terrible for them! Now, generally people don’t get a mime and feed him taffy, but mime feed is almost as bad. Mimes on dry feed need iron supplements, their blood pressure goes down, and their pelts fade until they’re just grey. Please, PLEASE give your mimes raw meat! Give your mimes live prey if at all possible - your local pet shop or shelter should be able to direct you to their feed mice. Whenever I really want to treat my Pierre chanceux I’ll get him something bigger, like a rat or a garter snake. The pellets are kind of a pain to deal with, but your mime will thank you. Silently. Because he’s a mime.

Mimes are NOT dangerous!!!! They can be scary before you know them, but their claws are fully retractable, and you’ll never find a more caring species. What’s DANGEROUS is mime/fool hybrids. (IMHO, any fool hybridization should be ILLEGAL. They’re wild animals! You’re combining the body mass and predatory instincts of a fool with the clown/mime’s comfort with humans - how the hell do you expect that to go?!) I GUARANTEE that whatever scary story you heard about some feral mime eating somebody’s kid was actually a hybrid.

Speaking of which? Don’t get a fucking fool. They’re endangered. And they’ll kill you. Get a jester if you want capering, they caper just fine and they won’t try to kill you.

Ugh, this turned into Yelling At Fool Breeders Hell Hour. But seriously, feed your clowns right. I’m gonna go see if Jacques wants to chase an invisible laser pointer.

[ray-kitty]

Clowns are probably one of the most mistreated creatures people keep as domestic pets. So many parents buy clowns for their children’s birthdays without doing any research on how to properly care for their clown, and therefore, so many clowns live cramped, uncomfortable, and stressed lives! This is an easy to follow guide on how to properly care for your clown, to make sure they live the best life possible.

Keep reading

[saltysquidtea-deactivated202402]

Beginner Clown owners PLEASE read this!!

I’ve seen a lot of Clown Husbandry posts recently, which is really wonderful for the clown-owner community. However! These posts will bring in a huge influx of new clown owners, and I thought I should go through some of the worst beginner clown breeds. Do not buy or adopt these clown breeds unless you’re an experienced clown owner.

1.  Hampshire Heavy Stripe

Hampshire Heavy Stripes put on weight incredibly quickly for any type of clown breed. They grow to be quite large, which may be good for meat clowns, but not for pet clowns. 

These clowns need an incredible amount of space (at minimum 50 square ft sized tents). I’ve seen reports of Hampshire Heavy Stripe Owners who can only fit around 3 other domestic clowns in a clown car with their Heavy Stripe. And on top of all those spacial needs, Hampshire Heavy Stripes end up needing over 100$ of freshly whipped cotton candy and peanuts a week.

Most breeds of Hampshire Heavy Stripes have an umbrella attached to them, almost as an extra appendage of sorts. While this umbrella is good for show, it is incredibly dangerous and can spray toxic material. These creatures are anything but docile, and will attack when provoked, usually using their umbrella  as a weapon.

Like any breed of clown, if treated right, they can be wonderful pets - but since these clowns are bred to be so aggressive, I would NEVER recommenced them to a beginner pet owner. 

2. Red Polka Boxer

These clowns look like they make for incredibly fun pets, and are great appearance wise. However, there is a large amount of problems many beginner (and even intermediate) clown owners do NOT take into account.

Red Polka Boxers are known for their ability to fit in to incredibly small boxes and jump out at any time. But, they will often cram themselves into small spaces under stress - spaces so small that they are impossible to be retrieved from.

These clowns will become extremely stressed when not given a MINIMUM of 130 different boxes to fit inside and play with. For many clown owners, this can end up costing in the thousands. Red Polka Boxers also need a variety of different clown cars to play in.

Usually somewhat antisocial, these clowns prefer to be alone - in small, confined spaces. However, this is no excuse for an inadequate circus tent. These clowns still need 30 square feet of circus tent to play around in when they see fit.

While these clowns are usually an incredibly healthy and kind breed, the risks in taking care of them are often too high. Red Polka Boxers are only for experienced clown owners.

I will add on to this post, for the right clown for you is very important. 

[bowling-with-skulls]

PSA

I personally do not buy clown milk but if you do! Pleaseeee make sure you are buying an ethical brand. Many common chocolate clown milk brands like TruGoof and Shamhonk Farms source their milk from caged clowns. Clowns - EVEN DAIRY CLOWNS - need at least 30 feet to roam as most dairy clown breeds are somewhat territorial. 

Clowns kept in cages rarely live past ten years, compared to the 40+ you can expect from most large breeds of clown. 

This clown is clearly unhappy and aggressive due to the close proximity of other clowns. From the fading in his mane, he is most likely also pellet-fed rather than given the fresh candy floss and corn dog meat that should make up the core of his diet.

Free-range clowns produce better milk with less need for antibiotics, and it’s more humane and much better for the lifespan of the clown!

This is what a proper clown corral should look like, lots of space, widespread feed stations, structures where clowns can keep themselves entertained! Some good chocolate milk brands that use habitats like this are FairLaugh and Prarie Farms. Please keep this in mind next time you’re shopping for clown milk. 

Also: remember that clowns only naturally produce chocolate and strawberry milk, with a few breeds of mime capable of producing blueberry. Any other flavors are most likely from genetically modified clowns or clowns that were put on unhealthy flavor hormones, and should be avoided!

[familycanbeagirlandafarmofclowns]

Mime Breeding

Sometimes I see people confused about why their mimes don’t seem to lay after being bred.

Yall see, Mime eggs are invisible and take about a week to hatch. If you breed your mama while her eggs are in this state, she’ll reject her old clutch and they’ll die without her.

The babies can be invisible for at least a week but up to five after hatching before they become ghostly for another week. If you try and breed her now, she’ll attempt to kill the smaller male. That’s why you should never breed your mimes until at least seven weeks after the failed breeding. To make sure it failed.

If your mime trusts you, you may be able to ask her if she laid. She may not be able to talk but she can show you. She’ll lead you to an area and mime a box over a certain area many times. That’s where the eggs are.

Honestly I’ve had to foster so many injured daddies that were bred wrong and even some weak little ones that were abandoned. It makes me sad, so many wasted lives by people who didn’t understand mime biology.

This really needs to be known

[gayserblast]

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of misinformation floating around about various breeds of scare clown. This is undoubtedly because of the movie ‘It’, featuring an untrained, rabid scare clown. 

Anybody who says scare clowns are a newly developed and dangerous subset clearly hasn’t read into the history of their breeding. While scare breeds are dangerous to a native environment if allowed to roam or if mistreated, they can serve as valued members of a family when well trained. 

Example: This lovely early breed of Crested Axehandler posing with its loving family. Note how it protectively hovers over the children, who are visibly comfortable with their pet. This is because Scarers were originally ‘nanny clowns’, their menacing appearance keeping potential harm-doers at bay.  Despite their name and striking looks, a cared-for scarer is a friendly, life-long partner. But laws have been passed to keep these harmless creatures from finding homes legally, and have been beaten and abused when found roaming on their own.

Please reblog this to raise awareness of the true nature of so-called ‘scary’ clowns.