Another Trailing Spouse Story

Travel and tourist tips, living tips, recommendations and observations from an expatriate spouse living abroad. An honest representation of the joys and frustrations of being an expatriate trailing spouse, starting anew in a different country every few years. I was raised in Australia, educated in Australia/Japan/China, worked in the Philippines, Ghana and Canada. Gave up the security of secure employment to follow my lovely Canadian husband. I'm homeless and at home, lonely and loved, and poor and rich all at the same time.

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Expat Loneliness

Dramatically I started at an orange for several minutes yesterday. I wasn’t even thinking anything but was thinking that I wasn’t thinking anything.  Which doesn’t really make sense I know. It could have been that I’m in hotel quarantine or that after a busy few months and the stress of returning to what is now ‘’home’’ just made me tired.  Or am I having a mid-life crisis?

But for sure, something that no one tells you when they are telling you how exciting being overseas will be or marrying someone not from your nationality, country and/or culture is - that you’re going to be lonely.  A lot.  

I added it up and I haven’t lived in Australia for almost 20 years now. But when I return I feel at ‘’home’’.  I feel like I can chat to the people at the coffee shop, I’m confident 99% of people are probably going to understand me when I speak to them. I don’t need to use translation apps or feel stupid because I can’t express myself or even order myself food!  And then there are friends.  I don’t mean the friends you meet overseas, and I don’t mean to disparage the great friends I have met and continue solid amazing relationships with.  I mean the ones that have known you since you were a kid, or at University when you acted a fool over a guy whose name you and they can’t remember his name anymore.  The ones that don’t judge you and where you walk into a room and just go for it as if you’ve never been apart.

I don’t know if it is harder when you get older. But I’ve gone years without making a great friend. If I make just one a country I feel incredibly blessed. They talk about meeting your ‘’tribe’’ but what they don’t tell you is that is actually a really hard thing to do, and once those tribes are formed they often don’t want any more members. Especially if you are only in the country for 4, 3, 2 or even just a year.  

Is that anyone’s fault by our own?  Well, we make the decision as a family to move of course and there are benefits and amazing opportunities that come with that make expats lives look like 24/7 holidays. But the downside is that often there isn’t a connection outside the family, which can be incredibly hard on the family.  And after a while I found myself looking inside wondering what is/was wrong with me.  And I still do.

Is there a solution to this? Improved sense of self-worth? Mindfulness? Meditation?  I’m being slightly facetious and at the end of the day it is up to us I know... but I admit I have and continue to struggle with it.  

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Starting Again...

So strangely after almost 10 years someone started following me on this blog.  And having forgotten all about it I logged back in only to subject myself to some fairly cringe-worthy posts from the past.  But as time goes on, I do need to accept that was / is me!  So strangely now sitting in hotel quarantine (another story) I’ve been motivated to write again if only to sort out my own thoughts on the last few years at a minimum. And to be honest I can type faster than write and I’ve only got a handful of ‘followers’ so there’s benefit to that.  So... starting again...

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Bangkok travels with a 6 month old

I've already posted about travelling with a newborn but I thought I would write on our travel to Bangkok specifically given our daughter is now a little older and each time we travel I wish someone had told us these things before!

We travelled last week for my husband's work.  I tagged along and wandered around Bangkok with a 6 month old.  We were there for a week and I admit there were a few times where I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and give up!  But in general it wasn't too bad and fun too!  I didn't do baby specific things but my general attitude since my daughter was born is that any new sights, sounds, smells and experiences are contributing to her growth and development.  I'm sure there are people that disagree but oh well...

1.  We stayed at Centrepoint Ratchadamri in an 'apartment' room which wasn't really what we expected.  It was a normal hotel room but there was a little kitchen (oven, microwave and washing machine) and it was a bit bigger I suspect.  They brought a crib in which was great but she was in the same room as us.  One thing that we found helpful in Kuching, Malaysia when we went when she was 4 months old was that having a separate bedroom really helps.  So if you can afford it, it does make a difference in that you can put your child to bed and afford to make some noise/watch TV when they are sleeping.  The hotel is nicely located near the main shopping centre district so easy to walk to the malls if that is your thing.

2.  We didn't take the stroller but I would recommend you do if you are going to catch a cab to and from the airport anyway.  It is just one more thing but if you aren't taking the bus or other public transport then it is just one more thing to pile into the taxi.  We didn't take it because people told us that you wouldn't be able to use it anyway.  This is true to a lot of places as the pavements aren't great and there are stairs up to the skytrain.  However, I missed it in the hotel room when I wanted to sit her somewhere to feed her (I find it hard to feed her solids on my lap) and when I had breakfast.  Also if you want to spend a day at the malls (which you can walk between easily using the walkway over the road between Chit Lom and Siam BTS train stations).

3.  Bangkok is not as baby friendly as Singapore.  Very few places had high chairs and our daughter can't sit up by herself yet anyway.  The hotel had two high chairs but these had no restraints or support in the front between the legs so essentially it was just a little chair.  Again, I would have liked the stroller.  We went to restaurants where they had booths and benches and took a blanket and laid her down when we were eating.  With a hand on her the whole time ofcourse!

4.  I did manage to get a foot massage (how can you not in Bangkok!) while I was there with her in the baby carrier.  However, it probably wasn't the best idea and a man came in after me and gave me a dirty look!  But then we discovered 100 Baht for 45 minute massages at the mall opposite Pratunam market.  They are small shops with chairs inside and out of the store (all in the wider air conditioned mall) and you are exposed to the mall noise.  However, if you have a baby there is no worries about making noise and if you find in a corner or around the back it is even quieter.  We went to one near the walkway that crosses the road over the Pratunam.

5.  We went out to Pratunam and the weekend Chatuchak market with the baby.  We had her in the baby carrier.  I did see some strollers but it would severely restrict where you went within the market.  I changed her diaper in the public toilet at Chatuchak which was quite traumatic (for me!) as it wasn't clean etc.  But then we discovered the tourist office just at one of the entrances.  We went in to get a map of the market and they gave us free water and also offered us the first aid room to change her diaper in if we needed too!  It was air conditioned and we stayed there for a good 15 minutes giving the baby some time to cool down and also used it as a cool place to feed her before heading back on the skytrain.

6.  In general, Bangkok did not seem to have good change-rooms or ones obvious signing for them.  I assume they were around but didn't see them.  Though I found the best breast-feeding/change room I have ever used in Zen in Centralworld right next to the baby section on the 5th? floor.  There were two private breast-feeding rooms, couches and padded change tables with plastic bags for dirty diapers etc.!

7.  To pick up some extra things I headed to the Super C Supercentre across the road from Centralworld.  If you are buying water etc. and know you will be there for a few days you can save some money and go there instead of buying at 7-Elevens.

8.  We weren't sure but we didn't drink the tap water and only boiled bottled water for our daughter.  We read that Thai authorities say the water is save to drink but if you are anything like us, we like to err on the side of caution with out daughter.

9.  Our flights worked well in that we got the bassinet seat on the water over.  But did you know that Thai airways bassinets can only be used up to 6 months?  So after 6 months they will not put you at the bassinet row.  We asked and were even told we couldn't sit there just for the extra room.  So instead on the way back we did online check-in and booked seat A and C of the 3 row seats by the window.  We've done this before and the flight was full and we moved and let the person in-between sit by the window, but this time we lucked out and were able to put our daughter on the seat between us!  So it is worth a try.

10.  My last point of travelling in Bangkok would be about the taxis.  I took the skytrain most of the time (getting a Rabbit card means you can reload as you need rather than getting a ticket every time - but there is a small non-refundable cost) but I did venture out to a temple.  Remember temples are NOT stroller friendly and you will need to take off your shoes on entering.  Which means if you have your baby in a baby carrier you may not be able to lean down easily - wear flip flops!  Also travelling in the morning is better than the afternoon from a traffic perspective.  If you get the hotel to call you a cab they are likely to get one that is metered but if you are stuck somewhere in the afternoon remember the taxis are likely to try and negotiate and charge you more.  For example, I paid 70 baht to get to 200 baht to return.  Why?  There is a lot of traffic in the afternoon, I was staying downtown where traffic is bad, and I had a baby strapped to me and couldn't be bothered arguing anymore.  Put things in perspective and in the conversion is still sooo cheap!

Enjoy your travels!!

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Back on the dating scene... I mean baby scene!

Mothers!  Have you noticed how meeting baby mothers and going to baby groups is like being back on the dating scene?!  Minus the alcohol!  It could also be a product of being on the expatriate baby scene but I suspect it is similar for most people unless all their friends happen to have children at the same time.

I've joined Blissful Babies on meetup.com in Singapore and so far I've been to 4 or 5 'meetups'.  The first one was nerve-wracking.  I was late as usual (I haven't yet figured out it takes me twice as long to get out the door and plan accordingly) and walked in to Food for Thought in the Botanical Gardens to a sea of women and babies.  Which ones were the baby group?  What if I walked up to a group of friends having afternoon tea?  Luckily the first group I approached were the Blissful Babies and were more than welcoming!  Big tick for the first meeting.

The second time, armed with my newfound confidence, I turned up to the same place and there was NO ONE!  Two women were seated by the window with babies but on closer inspection they were just friends having afternoon tea.  Feeling dejected, REjected and thoroughly stood up (by women I've not yet met) I had a cup of coffee, tried to look like I intended to come by myself, and then left.  Thumbs down for the second meeting.

I've also been receiving unsolicited private messages and emails from mothers asking me to coffee.  How do people decide who to email/contact and who not to contact?  I'm  unsure... but this has also let to similar experiences.  After a series of friendly emails from one woman she ended up canceling on me twice!  Another woman set a date, turned up for coffee and we got on great!  A 50% success rate is not too bad.

Today I was invited to a baby group by women who hope to make it a weekly event with the same women and babies.  Like any first/second date I worried what to wear and what should I dress the baby girl in?  I worried about making a bad impression and not being invited back!  I ended up being over an hour late because I got lost (hate you google maps!) and arrived dripping in sweat.  I was so 'frazzled' and hot that I couldn't relax for the first hour!  But I like these girls.  Will they like me?  Damnation, aren't I too old to be worrying about what people think of me?  I guess this never ends... Aargh!!

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I love cities where you turn a corner and BAM! it is different.  So far I've found this in Singapore.  We headed down to the Arab area the other weekend to check out Haji Lane and Arab street.  These photos are from Haji Lane.  Far from 'arabic' this street has turned into a cute little designer lane with mostly women's clothing stores.  They are all small and worth a bit of a dig.  Some have their own labels and other carry a variety of brands.  I LOVE local designers and discovering smaller non-chain store shops!!  Dulcetfig stocks vintage clothes though just from this first visit I wasn't too impressed.  The street is not blocked to traffic but there are people walking up and down and cars seemed few and far between.  This is not stroller/pram friendly (you could do it but you'd have to mount the side-walk and use the road several times) so we used the baby carrier.  I will DEFINITELY be going back!

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Things to bring from Canada to Singapore

I've only been here for a few months but I've decided I'm already going to post my initial thoughts on what to buy/bring when moving from Canada to Singapore.  I read all the expat singapore notice boards before coming and found that most North Americans that posted on the boards were more interested in their favourite brand of mac & cheese than making any broader or more useful suggestions!  Keep in mind this is all contingent on the exchange rate, but the prices can be similar to Canada in some cases but you don't have the tax added to the ticket price.  At the moment things are 20% cheaper than the ticket price because of the exchange rate too.

It's all personal ofcourse but here are my suggestions:

CLOTHING:  Is NOT more expensive unless you go for the higher end brands like Prada, Gucci etc.  The international designer labels are expensive anyway!  But outside of US and Canada it is ALWAYS going to be more expensive.  Even in Canada it is more expensive than the US.  So if you have expensive taste then by all means, load up on clothes but if not don't worry too much.  They have the mid-range to low-range clothing brands of Zara, Forever 21, H&M, Marks & Spencer, and Cotton On everywhere... and I mean everywhere!  For Australians, there don't appear to be any Australian branded clothes here like Alannah Hill, Scanlan & Theodore, Peter Alexander or Saba.  The BIG caveat - I'm not a big person so I don't have trouble with sizes.  If you are larger than the average SE Asian woman, then you may want to stock up on clothing.

SHOES:  There are SO many shoe stores here.  Take a chance and go exploring.  Charles and Keith is amazing and really good prices.  There are two warehouse sales a year for Charles and Keith also which are fun for those who like to shoe shop.  If you don't, then you may find the mix of shoes, handbags and women looking for a deal, a bit too much to take!  Other brands I've found in Singapore which I'm familiar with include Aldo, Birkenstock and Camper.

FOOD & DRINK:  Nearly everything is available here, except for some of your favourite brands of mac & cheese. :)  There may not be the variety you find in North America, where not many places have the variety available there.  The grocery stores are smaller than Walmarts for example!  But really, do we need stores that big?  Things that are missing in Singapore include: some flavours of chips; many chocolate brands; range of Mexican pre-made packets; maple syrup ofcourse!; Canada Dry ginger ale; selection of yogurt and generally dairy products; and good chocolate chip cookies!  Things we found which are A LOT more expensive include: herbs and spices; beef cuts; good ice cream (e.g. Ben & Jerrys); vitamins; wine; and cheese.  Warning: Beef, cheese and some fruits/vegetable products are priced per 100g and not per kilogram!

BABY ITEMS:  In general, I've found all baby products to be much more expensive.  MacLaren strollers starting at $500-$700 anyone?  Tricycle for $300?  If your shipment allows it, go to Costco and buy diapers, formula, wipes, and toys in bulk.  The expat stores people direct you to for baby items are often Motherworks and Mothercare, both of which I find very expensive.  We visited a Baby Fair at Singapore EXPO the other weekend and prices were similar to Canada.  But if you don't like shopping you probably won't be inclined to go trawling through the zillions of shops here for baby items (with an infant in tow).  So if you can bring it with you, then do!  There are cloth diaper stores in Singapore and from looking on-line, the prices are a little more expensive but not prohibitively so.  Baby carriers are hugely expensive here from what I have seen.

These are my initial suggestions and observations.  As I said, everything is available but there is so much to choose from here it really depends on your energy levels and interest in finding a bargain.  You can always visit the dependable Motherworks etc. for baby items but I can't justify spending three times the price in some cases.  For most things, if you can ship practical things over then I would definitely make the most of it and do it.  Even if you find prices are similar it just takes the pressure off on arrival.

Another thing to note if you are travelling from Ottawa.  Ottawa has a great second hand market on Kijiji and garage sales, I think due to the stable level of income in Ottawa and government workers.  As such, you can pick up fantastic deals on Kijiji like we did.  This makes the prices in Singapore even harder to swallow for some baby items as we got gently used items for half the retail (e.g. Graco Gramercy playpen for $50 and Manduca baby carrier for $50 also).

As I find more things I'll update my suggestions in future posts!!

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Travelling with a newborn baby

We have just moved to Singapore!  We travelled from Ottawa - Toronto - Hong Kong - Singapore.  That's around 24+ hours of travel!  And with a 2 month old baby.  I'm not exaggerating!  She was 2 months the day before we travelled.

I asked everyone for tips on travelling with a baby before we left.  I started stressing about it well before she was born.  I am not sure if it is the blur of the journey but I found people didn't give me many practical tips.  

So here are mine below which I would now pass on... before it becomes a blur for me too and I forget how we did it or what happened!

1.  BOOKING:  For a flight that long use a travel agent to check through your potential dates to ensure you get bassinet seats.  We gave a two week window and the travel agent checked every date until she could confirm availability at a row with a bassinet.  Having a travel agent also helps with confirming baggage allowance and what additional items you can take free with an infant.  Also think about what carriers and stops are more comfortable for you.  For example, going through the US usually means you have to go through customs and pick up all your luggage, which is annoying without a baby!  Asians and Asian-airlines, in general, are baby friendly and won't mind a bit of crying on the plane.   

2.  BABY CARRIER:  Use a baby carrier!  For us the baby carrier was ideal.  We didn't take a stroller at all.  Many people we saw had strollers but our daughter sleeps well in a baby carrier so she didn't need a stroller to nap.  This helped because we were SO overloaded with luggage - remember this wasn't tourism for us, we were moving countries!  We used a Snugli baby carrier.  The benefit to this type of carrier was that she was encased in the carrier (i.e. there is material between us and her) so we could undo the carrier and pass her between us when one of us had to use the bathroom etc.  With the Ergo and others like it the baby sits right against your chest.  This means to pass the baby between two people you need to take the whole thing off and reposition the baby completely.

3.  BOARD FIRST:  Even if they don't make an early boarding call for people with infants or children, still go and ask at the gate.  We were allowed on first when we asked and didn't have to line up, even though they never made an official call-out.  You definitely need the extra time to settle and put your bags up etc.

4.  GETTING SETTLED:  Take everything you need out of your bag and put it in front of you.  The flight could be 13 hours long but it is still a pain to get up and pull it out of your bag.  This includes a few diapers and wipes.  Take things for yourself too!  If you aren't a fan of watching the movies don't forget to take reading material for you too!

5.  DIAPER DISPOSAL:  Start saving up smaller grocery bags to put the dirty diapers in, like the ones you put fresh produce in.  On Cathay Pacific they gave us a larger plastic bag to hold the baby rubbish.  We think they expected us to save up the dirty diapers for the whole trip and give it back to them at the end!  But we thought that was kind of gross to say the least.  For every diaper change we put the diaper and wipes in our own small bag, tied it up and put it in the trash in the toilet.  A note on this - changing a poo diaper is an airplane toilet is one of the grossest things I've ever done!  Seriously!

6.  CLOTHES:  Take a change of clothes for you AND the baby.  I took a few changes of clothes but didn't actually need them!  But better safe than sorry.  We took a lot of spit cloths though because our baby suffers from reflux.  In addition, the airplane can get cold for you and the baby.  We took a sleep sac which doubled as a blanket and opened out to drape over the bassinet as well. 

7.  FEEDING:  We took the pre-made bottled formula and a few teats/nipples.  I know you are meant to sterilise them each time but do the best you can do!  We took a small bottle of dishwasher liquid and between each feeding we washed them with the soap in the plane bathroom.  To be extra careful you could also ask for a cup of hot water and let it sit in that for a while.  Another option would be to take powder formula and ask the flight attendants to fill up your own bottle with boiled water.  Let the water cool down and use that water to mix with the powder.  We took both but only used our pre-made bottles.  Our baby drank once every 2-3 hours like she does at home but we were told to take more as babies (like us) can get dehydrated during flights.

8.  TAKE OFF & LANDING:  Babies cannot equalise their ears like we can so get them to suck on their pacifier or let them eat during take off and landing.  You will be asked to hold them on your lap in an infant seat-belt (who knows what use that would have been in turbulence? but you still have to do it) but there is still room to feed them.

9.  OTHER TRAVELLERS:  Ignore stares or comments from other passengers.  If there is a lot of crying and you're uncomfortable, go down to the back of the plane and the plane noise will drown out the crying and the flight attendants will likely be sympathetic.  We were lucky as our daughter must have slept about 80% of the time! 

For us, we had a really positive experience.  It depends on your baby ofcourse and despite the long travel time the layovers in each airport were just enough to make a diaper change and walk around a bit but not so long to be tiring with a baby carrier rather than a stroller.  Which reminds me, change the diaper right before you board so that you can board early, get settled and then take-off.  If there is a delay and you are stuck on the plane, you may not be able to change the diaper as soon as you think.  So even if it doesn't need changing, do it anyway!

Happy travels with your baby!!

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O'Brien Beach in Gatineau Park.  It's free after 6pm and there are less people!  Plus the sunset is beautiful.  Though it's not a 'beach' by Australian standards, it is still clean, refreshing (read a little cold), and relaxing.

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I have to recommend this place!  It's so nice.  They specialize in prenatal massage and only take female clients (sorry guys!).  It's a very calming and welcoming atmosphere.  If you're pregnant you will feel right at home.  There are loads of photos of semi-naked women (have you ever wondered why it's tasteful to pose naked as a pregnant woman but then we consider non-pregnant women posing naked as a little wrong?!) so if that's not your thing, I'm just warning you... I've been getting massages from Alex who I love!  And just changed to Shannon because she is going to be my doula for the birth.  It's not the cheapest massage around (I think prices just went up to $90 on 1 July 2012) but they don't accept tips as they ask you to spread the word and it is a great way to treat yourself ladies!!  Enjoy!!

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Check out Bistro St Jacques (51 Rue St Jacques, Gatineau) if you are in the area.  In general I don't love the restaurant options in the Ottawa/Gatineau area but this one is good.  The food is French, well presented and tasty.  The steak is large but some of the other dishes are typically 'french' in that they are quite small but nicely plated.  It is around $10-$20 for entrees and $20-$30 for mains.  There is some interesting artwork inside and in summer they have a deck outside.  Not a great view but peaceful and not at all pretentious (I don't think so!).  Good food in a relaxed atmosphere.   The waiters speak English and French too.  :)

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Pregnancy Resources in Ottawa

Back in Australia we pay for our medical services.  In a way I like this if you are in the situation where you need to see a doctor or get a service ASAP.  If you can't pay you go to the public hospital and of course there are wait times.  But if you can pay then you can find a doctor, go straight away and deal with it later.  I only like it because I have always been lucky enough to be able to pay.  

In Canada, it frustrates me that we don't have that option and then to find a doctor it is almost impossible!  Well, it feels like it as I was on the waiting list for a family doctor for over a year and the service at the walk in clinics was terrible, in my experience.  

When I found out I was pregnant I panicked!  What was going to happen now?  There were women at work who told me they went for months before being referred and one woman who had a lot of problems early on and kept having to go to the emergency room in a hospital in Ottawa (she lives on the Quebec side).  Eventually the hospital contacted an OB on the Quebec side and told them that HAD to take her.  These stories don't help to calm the nerves in the first 3 months...

Not knowing what to expect my husband dragged me down to the medical clinic 5 minutes walk from our house and said "We aren't registered here but she's pregnant".  And that was that!  "Congratulations!" they said, signed us up and signed up my husband as well.  I still wonder if we were just lucky.  One month later an OB joined the very same clinic and our family doctor referred us to her and that was that.  NICE!

In turn she referred us to a number of other resources and through those and some extra research I've found an amazing number of free, cheap and other resources in Ottawa which I'd like to share below:

1. Ottawa Public Health Information Line (613-580-6744) is answered by Registered Nurses and in my experience they are so lovely.  You can ask questions before and after you have a baby too but they are only open weekdays during regular business hours.

2. City of Ottawa (www.ottawa.ca) is the first place to go.  There is an online pre-natal course, 6 week courses for $40 only, information on other pre-natal courses run at hospitals, breast-feeding buddy program, well-baby drop in centres, Healthy Baby Healthy Children program and lots of other things!

3. Ottawa Hospital (www.ottawahospital.on.ca) runs $25 prenatal breast-feeding sessions every month.

4. Pinecrest Queensway Community Centre (www.pqchc.com) in the west end of Ottawa runs FREE pre-natal breast-feeding classes once a month.

5. S.E.A.T.S (www.seatsforkidscanada.com) is a non-profit that runs clinics and will check your car seat is properly installed if you are having problems (for a donation of $25).

6. The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe (www.extraordinarybabyshoppe.com) in Westboro runs FREE sessions about cloth diapering on the 2nd Saturday of each month.  It's good to know your options!!

7. The City of Ottawa (www.ottawa.ca - check recreation and culture) also offers very affordable pre-natal exercise classes.  I took pre-natal yoga - 11 sessions for approx. $90! 

8. And don't forget the online communities (www.babycenter.ca) is great for Canadian mothers.  Especially for an expat like me!  Finding out how things work in Ontario or Ottawa has made things so much easier.  Mothers or soon-to-be mothers like to share. :)

9. And the not so cheap/free one that I just have to throw in there is Anna Belanger & Associates (http://annabelanger.com) who specialise in pre-natal massages and only take female clients.  But it is worth it!!  :)

Good luck to all the pregnant women of Ottawa!!

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Pregnancy to 37 weeks - in a nutshell

So I'm pregnant!  Actually I'm 37 weeks now.  For all those people that don't count in weeks (I didn't until 37 weeks ago!)  that is over 8 months pregnant.  I haven't bothered writing about it before because I think I've been in some denial all this time!  And now it's coming no matter what.  Which is funny because it's been coming no matter what for quite some time now but there have definitely been some moments when I've said "I can't do this anymore" and my husband has looked at me like I'm a crazy person and reminded me that it was a bit late to change my mind.  So in a nutshell my experience has been as follows:

One week after missing my period - I refused to take a pregnancy test.  I just knew!  I went and bought the test at the pharmacy but I couldn't do it.  In my head I told myself that my husband was having a hard time at work and I didn't want to add to his stress.  So I held off.  Of course when you've been married for a few years your partner WILL notice that you're not moody, tired, premenstrual etc. (well mind did) and figured it out and then told me to take the test.  Of course it was positive and I made him come and look at those little two lines.  

Initially I wasn't the super happy person everyone is in the movies.  Is anyone jumping up and down?  The news can be so frightening!  Anyway, that didn't go away for the first 3 months either because I was feeling so sick and unwell that it was hard to muster up the energy to be excited!  Side note: it was winter too so being locked in a bus with everyone else with no open windows was pretty horrendous.  I spent 3 months positioning myself by the door in the morning in case I had to jump off at any moment and throw up in the snow!

The 2nd trimester wasn't too bad.  One day I woke up and the nausea was gone. And at 4 months I told work which meant I didn't have to make excuses for constantly being hungry and people didn't make me carry things anymore.  Even though I could... but it was nice!  I still managed to get through my FT work and my volunteer job (even though I had to stop wearing pants - thank goodness for dresses!).  I also made the most of it - YAH for pregnancy massages!  Then the roadblock...

Found out I had gestational diabetes.  They make you drink this sugary drink (like Fanta but sweeter! If that is possible) and then take a blood test afterwards to check if you have processed the sugar properly.  I failed by .2 points!  So I bypassed the 2nd test they do to double check people that are borderline and went straight to the 3 HOUR 'training session' with a nurse and dietician.  I must have been hormonal because I bawled (ugly, teary stained face, sobbing mess) when the doctor told me.  I was sure it was something I did wrong.  However, (touch wood) it all went well and I was able to control it with diet and exercise and didn't have to take insulin (phew!).

Now I'm in the 3rd trimester and in the final countdown.  37 weeks now and freaking out!  Of course!  Tired and so happy not to be working.  Love it!  For me it was more psychological than physical.  In the last week of work I was constantly thinking about what I needed to do at home rather than at work.  Luckily the last week at work was just that... the last week!  And I had to get the zillion sign-offs you get before you head off.  So that brings me to here... sitting at home... looking like I've swallowed a basketball. :)

[expatrie-blog]

Parc Omega, Quebec - Safari Canadian-style!

If you are visiting Ottawa take a drive out to Parc Omega.  People in Ottawa don't seem to think this is 'cool' but as an expat or tourist it's worth the 2 hour(?) drive.  You drive around safari style in your own vehicle.  Take the kids and don't forget the carrots for the animals (though you can buy them there too).

[expatrie-blog]

Homesickness

4 May 2012:  I really think being homesick is a sickness.  Well, kinda ... come on work with me here.  :)  But today I didn't go to work.  I honestly felt sick in the stomach, tired and generally an emotional wreck.  To give background here that is probably going to throw this whole theory out the window - I am not 7 months pregnant as well!  So pregnancy hormones?  Maybe that too.

But going back to being homesick... sometimes I find I can't think of anything else but being back at home.  I think about my family and friends and I'm suddenly outrageously angry and jealous of everyone here who has all those people close by.  I get irritated with people who don't want to spend time with their families and who complain they don't want to go to that party on the weekend or how it is sooo annoying that they have multiple engagements on the weekend that they have to get to.  To the point where last night on the bus, as I was over-thinking all these things, I burst into tears!  All the people in the general area looked extremely uncomfortable as I tried to quietly wipe tears from my eyes.  When I got off the bus I had tears running down my face.  Very embarrassing!  But I couldn't stop.  Sound like mild depression?  Maybe?  Do a lot of expatriates get this?  I don't know!  I sure hope so!  I woke up this morning feeling awful - back pain, tired etc. etc. and called in sick.  I spent the day sitting on the couch with the cat having some me-time with Ellen DeGeneres, Dr Phil and the Bold and the Beautiful!  Life savers!  :)

Which makes me think it really can make you sick.  I agree the pregnancy has thrown me for a loop and added to the level of emotional instability (let's call it that).  I've desperately craved friends and family.  Unfortunately they are all miles and miles away and it's been harder than I thought.  I never thought I would but I've craved all that advice that people find annoying!  I wish they were here to give it to me so I could complain about getting it!!  It's a crazy, crazy mixed up world of human psychology.  

[expatrie-blog]

Montreal - St Denis & St Catherine - Top 11 Places to Shop for Women

As I previously posted we spent the last weekend in Montreal.  I love Montreal!  It reminds me so much of Melbourne, Australia.  :(  I get a little homesick when we go there.  It doesn't really look like Melbourne and the weather is definitely NOT the same!  But there is something about the vibe, people, architecture or the differences between modern and old-world charm built right up next to each other that is similar.

I also find the attitude and culture to be similar.  People are running around in their own worlds but at the same time they are friendly.  You pass a block between a 'dodgey' area and a 'nice' area.  People ask you for money but still stay thanks when you say no (though I think this is their way of saying f*ck you in a 'nice' way).  And the food is great!  Varied.  With hole-in-the-wall Lebanese, Vietnamese etc. establishments serving great food into the night. 

But this post is about my favourite places to shop!  Here is my list:

1. Camper (904 Sainte-Catherine Ouest) - European shoe brand that we have in Australia but this is their first store in Canada (apparently).  Though they do sell them in other stores.  Expensive but the shoes are so well made and very funky.  Worth splurging if this is your thing.  Expect to spend $300!

2. Simons (977 Sainte-Catherine Ouest) - only found in Quebec.  I like the one in Quebec City more but the Simons in Montreal always has great men's clothes!  And there is always something on sale!

3. H&M (1100 Sainte-Catherine Ouest) – I’ve mentioned before I never find anything in here!  But I do like to look.  It’s always crazy busy on the weekends and there are some dubious?-type quality clothes in here.  But it is very inexpensive (around $20 for basics) and good for some things... like sun dresses for the beach and t-shirts that you may end up throwing out at the end of the season.  But don’t expect to hold on to it for a long time!  And you will be battling a number of teenagers to try things on.  Go earlier in the day rather than later.

4. BCBG (1300 Sainte-Catherine Ouest) – it’s expensive yes!  Average $100+.  But I love the quality and the styles.  I never buy anything full-price.  Always check out the sale racks at the back and think outside the square with these styles.  Match transparent tops with tank-tops and plain pants under a jacket.  It’s as versatile as you can make it.  I’ve bought some great ‘key’ pieces on sale that I’ve worn for years.

5. Zara (1200 McGill College Ave) – Spanish (?) chain store ($20, $50, $100 - range of prices).  A lot of their clothes are made in Bangladesh or Turkey.  Love it!  It only just came to Australia.  But the crowds can be crazy.  So go shopping before 12 midday or be ready to wait in line.  This store if a few levels with men’s, women’s and children’s clothes in the one building.  It is only in the same building as Winners (but upstairs on street level for the women’s clothes).

6. Winners just off Sainte-Catherine in the mall, head downstairs (1500 McGill College Ave) - stocks all the 'fancy' brand names.  There were BCBG dresses in there on the weekend that were in the BCBG store across the road for half the price!  Don't be a snob.  Definitely check it out and dig through the racks for a good find.

7. Club Monaco (1455 Rue Peel) – you will see the sign on the side of the building just off Sainte-Catherine.  It’s a chain store too but I love the quality.  I find the clothes classic with a twist.  Again, not at all cheap (average over $100) but they last a long time.  I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything here that was not on sale either?!  It reminds me of Country Road in Australia but nicer!

8. Boutique Olivia (1455 Rue Peel) – downstairs in the same building as Club Monaco.  Cute shop with cute clothes!  Not for everyone.  For something different with personality.   Not expensive, I’d say middle of the road (around $50-$100).

9. Fluevog (3857 Rue St. Denis) - ok I like shoes!  This is a Canadian designer from Toronto I think... and I find the styles similar to Camper.  Just as expensive (average $200+) but so well made and beautiful!

10. Scarpa (4257 St. Denis) – I think I’ve got the right shoe store?  This sells a range of imported shoes from London Fly, Camper and Miz Mooz.  Miz Mooz is my latest favourite shoe brand!  Check it out!  They have some great funky designs for reasonable prices whereas Fluevog and Camper are a real splurge! As in, don’t eat for a week!  London Fly is an amazing brand too but always out of my price range.  Having them all in the same store is great.  I’m sure I got the right shoe store... If I am wrong there is one nearby on the same side of the street and I will correct this post if I discover I am wrong!

11. Olam (4339 St. Denis) – sells a range of brands and a mix of designs.  Again I bought a skirt on sale at 50% off ($95 down to approx. $50).  They have great Italian leather belts in there and Miss Sixty dresses.  It is a boutique worth digging through the racks just because of the variety of brands and styles.  The sales assistants are lovely too!

[expatrie-blog]

BOUTIQUE OLIVIA (1455 Peel St, Suite 142, Montreal) - A friend at work put me onto this place.  We headed to Montreal last weekend and after a disastrous trip to Thyme (yes!  I'm pregnant but refuse to buy ugly expensive tent-like outfits from maternity stores) I decided to try and buy loose clothing which I could wear now and after the pregnancy that were still 'me'. :)

So we headed to Montreal.  Not just to shop but to see hubbys friends, and spent Saturday wandering up and down St Catherine's.  I wandered into Boutique Olivie (which by the way is in the same shopping mall as Club Monaco) and checked it out.  First of all, there was a sale!  YAH!  And there were cute little 'independent' pieces.  I say this because even though I love H&M in theory I never find anything I want in there.  Fine - it is inexpensive and everything is in season but I find it very generic and sometimes not great quality.  I want the basics but I don't want to look like everyone else!

Olivia was super cute!  Some of the things were a little 'Asian'.  Do you know what I mean?  You know the little Asian clothing stores that have 'cute', small sizes that are a little... well... Asian.  I'm part-Asian by birth so I feel I can say this in all honesty and also by comparing to what I have seen in little Asian stores in China, Philippines and SE Asia.  But moving away from this point... it was definitely a good recommendation and I really liked it.  I picked up a top, knitted sweater and skirt.  And it was all over-sized styles which is perfect for me!

A good reminder to one and all to dig around in the smaller boutiques and stores where you least expect to find things.  Get off St Catherine's (Olivia is just off the main street) and check out the non-chain stores.  It's always surprising what you will find!!

[expatrie-blog]

THE COOL RED ROOM (250 Kent st, Ottawa): Honestly, what is with Ottawa and the mass of terrible hairdressers that have descended on this town?  It reallly is terrible!  I've been to several hairdressers in Ottawa.  Admittedly I did often use a discount voucher via Groupon or Kijiji or something along those lines.  But does that excuse bad service, terrible cuts and creepy guys?  To expand on my last point I went to hairdresser in Artistic Hair on Bank st that kept whispering in my ear how 'sexy' I was and that he didn't want to cut my hair because 'women look better with longer hair' and I should grow it.  So it ended up exactly how I didn't want it! 

But the point of this post is to talk about The Cool Red Room on Kent st.  It really is a cool, red room.  There are only two hairdressers there and an assistant and they are all so nice.  It is small for those (like me) who like intimacy and not being rushed in and out, have their hair burnt/blow-dryed by 16 year old apprentices and those who appreciate a good consultation and having someone actually listen to what you like and don't like!

I had my hair cut by Donna Nash (the owner) and she actually listened to what I didn't like and liked and then provided suggestions - amazing!  New concept for Ottawa!  And talked about my face shape and then when cutting it described how I needed to blow dry it etc.  She never pushed product on me and actually listened and talked to me as she cut my hair.  Again a new concept for me in Ottawa (I've been here a year and a half now). 

For the first time... I would HIGHLY recommend this hair salon and will be going back in the future!!  Like!  Like!  Like!