23

I thought I was Ex-Muslim when I made this account at 18. I logged back in at 23 and realized I’m just Ex-People.

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I be having breakdowns that would send people to the ward and yet I just go to sleep after and act like nothing happened the next day

[expeoplenotreligion]

Hi.. this is the first time I’ve been on tumblr since I was 20. I’m 23 now turning 24 next month.

I got on tumblr when I was a 17 year old teenager who has finally said screw it and took the hijab off after being forced to wear it at the age of 6 or 7. I quickly made the decision to become an “ex-Muslim” just to really stick it to my parents and family. I was absolutely obsessed with being an atheist. I was so damn proud of it. I had finally disobeyed the family and no one could stop me now. But you know what! Everything stopped me. Everything they enstiled in me stopped me. Every mental and physical abuse tactic they practiced on me stopped me. Every damaged part of my brain stopped me until I finally stopped and realized that if religion was so bad it’s because THEY made it bad. PEOPLE. People made it bad. People are bad.

I’m not too sad or too broken. I’m definitely sadder than others and much more broken than others because of them, because of family, because of religion and I am absolutely still angry at God, angry for allowing them to paint him in this light. But everyday I fight. I fight for the girl I would have been if I didn’t know them. I fight for the little girl who thought mom loved her. I fight for the friendships and relationships I would have if they hadn’t destroyed me. If they didn’t do what they did to me. If God had stopped them… I fight not because I’m an atheist.. I fight because people, FAMILY, have raised me to fight.

[anonymous-weirdster]

Atheism is a process. You dont have a magical moment or a sudden change of heart. The world doesn’t stop spinning, the puzzle piece doesn’t magically fit into place, you can’t pinpoint a moment of paradigm shift.

Its nights of praying and wondering if someone is out there even listening and that shocks you because there used to be no doubt about it before.

Its sometimes months of praying for a sign, its reading research and scriptures to see if maybe you’re wrong and misguided as your scripture and your parents told you.

Even when you identify as an atheist for months a lingering doubt may be present in your mind from your upbringing. A near death experience may make you fear you’re off to hell because you really were wrong.

But then one of those days is a very ordinary day you realise all that seems foolish. Death doesn’t seem so daunting anymore and you can’t seem to remember when you discarded your belief in “the perils of the grave”. One of those days you sit in a hospital lobby praying for a loved one and you realise you know deep inside no one out there is listening.

Its a process and you dont know when the wheels turned, when the wind shifted. It just did and you’re a whole new person because of it. After that, after that point of realisation, return is truly impossible.

[expeoplenotreligion]

Any ex Muslims on here

I’m really reaching out in this point to any ex Muslims on here! I moved out of my family’s house and I’ve been in an abusive situation for the past two years. I really just need someone to talk to! I just kind of need a friend or someone to go to when bad things happen. If there is any ex Muslims here that have the time to chat please message me!

[expeoplenotreligion]

Ramadan for ex Muslims

Hello there! Just wanted to check on my ex muslims during Ramadan. I hope you guys are all doing okay and surviving this month. I really want to get to know some ex Muslims on here and become more active on tumblr. I think it’s really important for ex Muslims to talk to one another and check on each other. And I really want to make ex Muslim friends on here for support! Any ex Muslims up for a chat just shoot me a message!

[bibliotheque-la-nature]

Good night.

[mughler-deactivated20190524]

i wonder where i’ll be this time next year

[girlleavinghome-blog]

i got invited to a new years eve party

what do i WEAR

my parents never allowed me to go to one before SO IT’S MY FIRST TIME

panic

[girlleavinghome-blog]

There’s no theme or dresscode! It seems pretty casual? at a friends place but with nice food catering. that makes it less casual i think? I’m thinking tight black jeans with a nice top??? so i’m not overdressed (if i wore a dress) but not wearing fully casual clothes but AH im nervous

[expeoplenotreligion]

Jeans or black pants with heels and a classy top is perfect. Not overdressed or underdressed

[z-ndjenja]

What happens in Tumblr, Stays in Tumblr.

[girlleavinghome-blog]

mom: ew why would you want to marry a white person? they all get divorced at some point

me: maybe more muslim women would get divorced if they weren’t so scared of their abusive husbands or the family disowning them 🤔

[expeoplenotreligion]

Life is hard in general

Honestly, after growing up in an abusive Muslim household life is just going to be hard no matter what. Not only are you trying to break free of the Islamic rules and the abuse of your parents from childhood but you’re also going into a scary world all by yourself without any family support or any love. And you don’t have any knowledge of how the real world works because Arab/Muslim parents don’t teach you anything about life other than obeying god, obeying your husband, cleaning and cooking. You will seek abusive and toxic relationships because you’ve been exposed to it your whole life, and you don’t know what’s good and what’s healthy for you and what makes you happy, because you’ve never been happy. Life is just hard when you come from these environments!

[girlleavinghome-blog]

my god the things i did for attention when i was younger because i didnt get any at home :) yikes

[lyricvl]

[neckkiss]

[expeoplenotreligion]

Ever feel like there’s a deadline hanging over your head?

Always. You just have to realize that you are the one that dictates your life at the end of the day. Not society, not friends, and definitely not family.

[expeoplenotreligion]

I’m exmuslim message me if you would like to chat.

Thank you !

[maybe-you-need-this]