FALSEHOOD

I don't know how to start one of these things.. Oh well I'll figure it out later-

[exploding1kitten1balls]

My fanfic

I need people to talk about my fanfiction with. I have a few wonderful servers filled with wonderful people and many friends I would talk to.

But I'm a fucking freak who decided to write a fanfic about some very NSFW topics in detail and I want to share them with people before I release the chapters without seeming like I have a fetish or that I'm actually a horrid, disgusting excuse for a person.

I'm not either of those things I swear, I don't condone any of the dark, NSFW topics that that I write about in my fic, but it's so hard to stare at an open doc (Ellipsus) without being able to share my thoughts with anyone but my own twisted mind.

And I know the people I've shown my fic to are aware of the tags in it, they're aware of the content I will eventually post that will scar and harm the characters within the story, but something about the mere thought of sharing those ideas with the outside world is like strapping myself to a bomb and letting the time run out.

It's only a matter of time before they decide I'm too disgusting to conversate with, that I'm too passionate about a fictional story with fictional characters, that the way I describe how these actions will play out will disgust them so much that they can't even stand to conversate with me.

Before anyone says: "Oh it can't be that bad? How much detail could one put into a scene like this?"

Clearly you haven't met me.

Anyways how's everyone else's day going? Having fun? Good times?

[whimsical-steel]

you have to agree that Johnland Smith is the most underrated Gosling character right?!

Yes! I agree! That film was amazing, i really loved Pete and Steve

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Mm yes yes, good good, we're all in agreement that it was one of the more superior roles.

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Part... Five? I think five if Ryan Gosling memes with my friends from our GC.

(Again a lot of these are from Deodorantmuncher!! Congrats these are funny)

Featuring: @lemonmoon2000 @42autisticfrogs & @nonightingales666

(Also I need to make more The Nice Guys memes I ran out, I'm very sad about that 😔)

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Here you guys go! Have some more Ryan Gosling memes (Most if which are deoderantmuncher HELLO, I'm glad you're getting so many awesomesauce ones being shown today 😝)

Featuring but mostly admired towards: @lemonmoon2000 @42autisticfrogs & @nonightingales666

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Jeffery Thank-You

So. Uhm. I feel really bad for saying this as a trans person, but I don't really like all the content of Jeffery Thank-You (Ryan Gosling's nurse SNL skit character) as a feminine person. I might be missing some context or maybe everyone else is on a very different page than me, but every single piece of art I see with him has him being sexualized severely or shown being incredibly feminine.

I don't have a problem with it; I'm not against having headcanons or personal preference for a specific character but I don't ever see him being portrayed as just a dude who happens to have long hair. Like I don't see him in heels and he's wearing pants and a shirt.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, why is he portrayed as a woman? What qualities other than his hair give off that ideal? And why the hell are we sexualizing him so much? I look up Jeffery Thank-You merch and it's always him wearing something suggestive or shoving a massive needle through his legs.

I don't know, this is such a non-issue and I'm sorry for bothering everyone with it but this is my Tumblr page, and I feel like it's something that I needed to talk about so.

[exploding1kitten1balls]

I fucked up that last post SO BAD GUYS I FORGOT COLT HOW COULD I 😭 PLEASE FORGIVE ME AAHHAHAAHUWHWHEKD

Ahem

Apologies. Messages featuring: @42autisticfrogs @lemonmoon2000 & @nonightingales666

[exploding1kitten1balls]

You guys asked for it (not really but the likes and reblogs tells another story sooooo)

More memes of Ryan Gosling characters at the expense of my friends and our 100℅ totally hilarious GC

Messages mentioned from the following: @42autisticfrogs @lemonmoon2000 @nonightingales666

(Yes I'm tagging all you hoes every time deal with it)

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Me when I lowkey take quotes from my friends GC and chuck them onto Ryan Gosling characters:

Featuring messages from @42autisticfrogs @lemonmoon2000 and @nonightingales666 and myself ofc but I'm not @ myself so ENJOY

[sajdd]

im rewatching the nice guys and i cant stop laughing at healy just full jump-body-slamming people multiple times in the final showdown its SO funny. the POV shot for his victims is probably like a fnaf jumpscare, but instead of an animatronic its just Some Fucking Guy™️

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Jackson Healy in his free time throughout the movie

[aethinus]

i know therapy is important and good and cool but the last therapist i went to stopped seeing me after a few weeks because i wasnt really struggling. gang im always struggling what the fuck

[42autisticfrogs]

see this is the shit that makes me go "ykw? maybe im fine without therapy. what has therapy done for me that 23k words yaoi oneshots havent?"

[exploding1kitten1balls]

It hasn't done anything for you because you HAVEN'T GONE TO THERAPY YET 😭

It's okay twin I haven't either my last one was cancelled so now I have an online one this Thursday.

[42autisticfrogs]

erm actually i did once in middle school and it didnt do shit, im still like this

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Okay but was that like a counselor? Because those guys are notorious for sucking at their jobs. Like, seriously it's a whole thing.

[aethinus]

i know therapy is important and good and cool but the last therapist i went to stopped seeing me after a few weeks because i wasnt really struggling. gang im always struggling what the fuck

[42autisticfrogs]

see this is the shit that makes me go "ykw? maybe im fine without therapy. what has therapy done for me that 23k words yaoi oneshots havent?"

[exploding1kitten1balls]

It hasn't done anything for you because you HAVEN'T GONE TO THERAPY YET 😭

It's okay twin I haven't either my last one was cancelled so now I have an online one this Thursday.

[exploding1kitten1balls]

CONTENT :D

I have acquired some content to post, it's the Coltland Gentry AU featuring none other than Holland March as the eldest brother (Don't worry it makes sense later I promise) Yes I'm still in the middle of writing it but don't worry it has uh- hang on.

*Checks*

Four chapters equaling up to around 19k words actually it borders closer to 20k words.

(Link below)

(Idk why I cut it for an A03 link you tell me-)

PLEASE HEAD THE TAGS IT'S VERY IMPORTANT YOU READ EVERY SINGLE TAG BEFORE YOU READ I DON'T WANNA MAKE ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE

Anyways here's the link:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[exploding1kitten1balls]

POV: You're trying to come up with content for people because you enjoy giving people content but you're genuinely so bad at thinking that you just stare at your screen longingly and blink one eye at a time like Leland P. Fitzgerald in hopes the Gosling gods above will provide you with;

✨Ideas✨

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Lars scrapbooks and has an entire section of it dedicated to old pictures and drawings and letters from his brothers.

He walks around his little town taking pictures, he has some of the lake, a few of Gus and Karin when he can muster up the courage, and a plethora from the church events and hospital.

And once Bianca shows up, he's dedicated another section of his book to her, the two of them at the lake, playing cards, her at her jobs and hobbies. Even a few pictures of her when he brought her to his co-workers house party.

The last two pictures in her section are of the funeral service and her burial site. A way to commemorate her to memory and everything she left behind.

(He also has a section prepared just for Karin and Gus' baby who's on the way but there aren't many pictures for that yet.)

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Elaborating on Lars, Driver, and Leland being siblings

So, I wanted to go over the uh, I forgot what it's called but the relations of their family and how all of them are connected as brothers.

Here's their ages in this AU because obviously they have to change just a pinch: Lars: Eldest (20) Driver / Casey: Middle (18)

Leland: Youngest (16)

Lars and Casey left home after Lars turned eighteen, due to the pressure of being "normal". They tried to take Leland as well, but he was so young and enamored with the idea of building a genuine relationship with his parents that he simply refused.

The two eldest then split after Lars found out Casey was getting into some shifty business during their time together in L.A. Forcing him to move in across the lawn from Gus and Karin in their grandparents' home. Lars' fear of death and safety around the birth of babies comes from the grandparents themselves who lost their lives and the life of a pregnant cousin in a horrid accident. She'd lost her life so her baby could be born, although unfortunately the baby girl passed in the NICU after incorrectly prepared medical equipment failed.

Cut back to Leland's life. Leland was fifteen when he killed Ryan, he went to the juvenile detention center and fulfilled his time there, he was then transferred to a mental facility where he remained for the rest of the year before he was deemed "mentally stable" and allowed to leave. Unfortunately, after the events of, "The United States of Leland" the severe backlash of hate his parents received caused them to disown him.

His brother Casey, [Driver] was working in L.A. doing stunt work. Leland was sent to live with Casey since he was the only other adult to answer his phone. Lars didn't have a phone in his house, so his number didn't exist. Casey managed to keep Leland out of his other "business", mostly only sticking to bringing him around the stunt lot.

After the events of "Drive" Leland and Casey escaped, they fled L.A. and camped out in smaller towns until they managed to get into to contact with Karin and Gus, who happily welcomed them into their small-town home.

That's about all I have for them so far, if you've got any other headcannons or your own interpretations of their storyline you'd like to share don't be scared to ask me or leave a comment. Have an amazing day / afternoon / night. :D

[exploding1kitten1balls]

Hear me out.

You show me Colt, Ryland, and Courtland as siblings. Possibly even triplets.

I agree. I even get excited because I love them so much.

But hear me out. Hear me out.

I raise you Lars, Leland, and Driver as siblings. Possibly even triplets.

Are we listening?