Fucking Explosive. @explosionmonger - Tumblr Blog

Hi y'all!!! So unfortunately since I only use the mobile app, I'm prone to absolute bullshit like the fact I'm not showing up in anyones notes aside from my reblogs, can't see my asks, can no longer see my messages, and have to completely delete and remake my account! ( :( Again.) So I'm gonna go ahead and do that I guess!!!

honeydotes-deactivated20210606

arthur was one of my favorite childhood shows growing up and mr. ratburn was one of my fav characters, i started crying when i found out he got married!! i’m so happy for all the kids growing up with this show

allofthefeelings

I hope Avengers sometimes go to Strange like “I need your help” and he’s like “What’s wrong? Skrulls? Hydra?” and they’re like “I’m congested and it hurts when I swallow.”

magistrate-of-mediocrity

You think they ever approach Vision in a similar manner to complain about how the wi-fi router keeps kicking them off the network?

allofthefeelings

Well, NOW I do.

thelibrarina

Peter Parker calls Steve Rogers at midnight and he shows up at Aunt May’s in full uniform, shield at the ready. “You said something about Nazis? Let’s go.”

And Peter’s standing in the doorway in pajamas and like, pikachu slippers, and he’s like, “The AP history test is tomorrow. I need you to tell me everything you know.”

moonblossom

Alternately, I’m now picturing Wanda going to basically anyone else and trying to talk about some issues she and Vis are having, and universally, they all just go “Have you tried turning him off and turning him back on again?”

allofthefeelings

There are so many good comments on this post but this one deserves a special shout-out.

indifferent-kiwi

Peter: So what do you remember about the JFK assassination?

Bucky: I think I killed him

Peter: alrighty then

marvelxs-universe

this entire thing is glorious

leeshajoy

imagine being summoned to another plane of existence and being described as a “meat elemental”

i-hate-chick-fil-a

Here

The guy’s been in jail for 5 years because of four witnesses. One is legally blind, two admits police pressured him into giving false testimony, three was held in police custody for two days until they claimed the defendant was in the car similar to the one involved in the crime, Four reads a bit weird but it sounds like he just happened to know the defendant from somewhere else and was confused.

Everyone but the blind guy later recanted their statements. No other evidence ties him to the crime.

dankmemeuniversity

stimsforgoblins

(original videos/gifs by me; credit if you use!)

pwapboi-deactivated20200412

centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

wallcrawler-exmachina

Oh. This. I don’t like this.

wickedwitchshaming

#not enough distinct body parts#insects have three#arachnids on the other hand have two#therefore i propose that centaurs are actually spiders hiding a pair of legs somewhere this is worse jade how did you manage to make this worse

necromatador

But centaurs DO have 3 body parts. Insects have head, thorax, and abdomen. Centaurs have a head, a human “thorax”, and a horse “abdomen”.

Instead I propose that insects are arthropod centaurs.

luminosombra-deactivated2025020

“BEHOLD A CENTAUR” - Diogenes throwing a fucking ant on the ground

pwapboi-deactivated20200412

this is why we stopped inviting diogenes to these things

vainvaihe

things got a little heated in the gc today

gallusrostromegalus

International Differences that turn into screaming matches of misdirected fury is one of my favorite genres of humor

tybalt-you-saucy-boi

Can we talk about how raw of a quote “When I kill God, I’ll make a law in the universe that makes every being put carrots on their sandwiches. … And you? You will eat sandwiches every day.” is

pr1nceshawn

vootcruiser

I love snufkin bc at first he seems like this really mellow forest creature but he wants to commit crimes and runs from the cops

passionpeachy-deactivated202312

snufkin when he met moomin: I love to stargaze! I love to wander! I play happy songs! and I dug myself out of jail with a can opener

passionpeachy-deactivated202312

MELON CRIMES

estradoll

Snufkin said fuck the police

ruinedchildhood

ao3tagoftheday

[Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart

ethermaster-blog

I’m gonna let you in on a secret.

That aint renaissance fanart

ao3tagoftheday

You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y'all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y'all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you.

So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling.

There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming.