Cash

I'm Abby, I like cats and petting cats

[girlnumbersix]

ladies we need to start frantically and obsessively reading books in less than 24 hours again..remember how happy we were

[papasmoke]

it is actually incredibly easy to NOT attack children with chemical weapons I've been doing it my entire life

[redstarovermoundcity]

exhaustive list of methods on how to not mace or tear gas children:

don’t attack a child

police: wtf

[patrik-star]

Pre-nap me: gosh I’m just a lil bit sleepy I could use me a lil nappy nap

Post-nap me: why…. Why do I exist in this world…. How do I know what is real… What is the truth…. I’m so thirsty

[pwapboi-deactivated20200412]

an 80′s sitcom with a laugh track but the laugh track comes from behind you

[vampire-rae-deactivated20210807]

Thanks! How do I uninstall it?

[pwapboi-deactivated20200412]

It Uninstalls You.

[pwapboi-deactivated20200412]

i warned you

[asleepyteen]

The laugh track plays but now one voice louder

[lovelysuggestion]

each time I tell you those three words I mean them more and more

[strangefriendperson-deactivated]

we dem boys

[irisannwest]

do you ever

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

oh god you hate it so much

[vrixie]

The bourgeoisie

[bewbin]

Why do you want to be a comedian?

the free stool with a glass of water on it 

[corgisocks]

OH MY GOD ABDJAKJFKWL

[rosecrystal]

unfortunately for everybody i will keep doing whatever i want

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

[hungry-joe]

[int0themidnightsun]

[zackisontumblr]

gourmet meal

[meangirlnurse]

my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the first five words of this post alone contain so much storytelling

[ponprincess-deactivated20170614]

[im-leaving-this-blog-now-bye-de]

did y’all know that discrediting the hundred good deeds of a person because of one past misdeed is actually toxic and does absolutely nothing to encourage personal growth in people & positive change in the world? did y’all also know that you’re not exempt from your own callout/cancel culture because, in following your own logic, all of your good deeds will always be outweighed by your past mistakes, thereby making YOU no better than the people you spend all your time on twitter trying to “cancel” ??? wild how that works huh

[yardovich]

[mysharona1987]