Faded_Elegance

Random musings of a grad student... Hiya! I'm Abby. I'm a 29-year-old grad student working on my M.A. in arts administration. I got my B.A. in vocal music. I love singing, acting, writing, composing, reading, rpg boards, listening to music, French, German, Dutch, Italian, Gaelic, Elvish, taking pictures, socializing, makeup, nail polish, going to bookstores, Starbucks, watching baseball, watching football, social network sites, learning, politics, watching TV & movies, laughing, and traveling. If I went to Hogwarts, I'd be in Slytherin. Ask Pottermore. LOL I love my family. They are my support, my stability, and my sanctuary. I have the most wonderful family in the world. Je peux parler et ècrire en français. Je voudrais visiter la France! Si tu veux parler avec moi en français, dit moi! J'ai toujours envie de parler (ou ècrire) en français! I love my friends. I have awesome friends. God is amazing to me. I don't consider myself to be a specific sect of Christianity (I'm more of a Unitarian Universalist), but I know that I love Him. He gives me strength. ♥ I also think He's the biggest scientist there is. I believe in God and science. I'm a romantic and thus a sucker for a good love story. My favorite romantic pairings of all time are Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice" and Mike Cutter and Connie Rubirosa from "Law and Order". I love Harry Potter, LOTR, all of Tolkien's other Middle-earth works, "Law and Order", "Law and Order: SVU" (seasons 1-12), Pride and Prejudice, "The Office", "Spongebob Squarepants" seasons 1-3, "Fawlty Towers", "Monty Python's Flying Circus", "Whose Line is it, Anyway", "The Daily Show", "Avatar: The Last Airbender", "The Late Show with David Letterman", and "The Young and the Restless". Once I graduate, I'd like to work in either fundraising/development or marketing. Haven't made up my mind yet. However, I don't see myself being JUST arts administrator. My #1 dream is to be in a symphonic metal band. Want to hear me sing? Visit my site: www.myspace.com/AbigailBrickler. :) The End LOL

[fadedelegance]

Today in misogyny is alive and well in the world. More at 5.

[legioned]

“You must say it properly… I won’t answer unless you kneel down and everything…”

[honeyblankets]

i feel like when we discuss the gender pay gap there’s this underlying idea people have that women choose these underpaying fields/jobs when in reality these fields/jobs are underpaid BECAUSE they’re women dominated and often have been for centuries. female labour has always been undervalued and that translated into being underpaid.

nurses/teachers/etc aren’t getting shitty pay because society believes it’s an easy/unskilled/unnecessary job, they’re getting shitty pay because they’re mostly women and society never views women’s labour as valuable or important.

[rad-octopus]

"We shouldn't have sex segregated sports because I kicked this man's ass at this sport!"

1. Anecdotal evidence, we don't accept it for other shit, why would I accept it here

2. Genuinely good for you, keep kicking men's asses, we love to see it

3. Women who can't do that should still get to play sports

4. Men make women feel objectified, there's literally research that shows women perform worse when they feel objectified

5. Men will harass the shit out of women they deem to be in "men's" spaces. Guess what the vast majority of men think is men's space? That's right, sports

6. Men have been trying to bully women out of public spaces for millennia, can we have one fucking thing that is ours for the love of fuck

[snake-eggs]

“There aren’t enough hours in a day.” There are actually. The problem is that we think 40 hour work weeks are an unavoidable fact of life.

The problem is that everyone has to work 8 hours, pretty much no exceptions, and with getting ready time + (unpaid) lunch + commute, “8 hours” is actually anywhere between 9 and 12, every single day, with more work to do when you get home because our society and culture was built around having one member of the household home full time and nothing has changed now that almost everyone works.

No wonder Americans are reliant on DoorDash and fast food, there’s no time or energy to cook. No one wonder mental and physical health are in shambles, many just spent all day sitting in fluorescent lights with little to no stimulation. “Just wake up earlier” “Just meal prep”… these are ok short-term, individual solutions, but the broader, systemic issue is obvious. We aren’t built for this. There’s no work-life balance. Genuinely, I think if our culture could normalize a shorter work week, many individuals’ biggest problems would simply evaporate.

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[fadedelegance]

Add being neurodivergent on top of that, and you’re even more fucking exhausted.

“iT’s CoMpLiCaTeD!11!!!”

No, it’s not. The rich are just fucking greedy, and capitalism sucks.

[honeyblankets]

liked a photo of some cute shoes on a woman’s body and my feed was instantly full of foot fetish porn. liked a photo of a cute vintage slip dress on a woman’s body and my feed fills with porn. not a coincidence btw. this entire website and all the freaks on it cannot view women as anything but sexual objects and the algorithm knows & rewards that.

[fadedelegance]

I’m fucking tired of edge lord comedians making domestic violence jokes. You’re not clever. You’re not funny. You’re just an unempathetic piece of shit. Fuck you for mocking people’s trauma, especially women’s as women are most DV victims.

[fadedelegance]

All this “I’m just a girl!” shit has to stop. It’s 2026, not 1956. For fuck’s sake. At least when Gwen Stefani sang it for No Doubt’s song “Just a Girl”, she was being satirical and trying to make a point. I’m so fucking tired.

[fadedelegance]

It irritates the shit out of me when people talk about how expensive things are nowadays, and they mention how you used to be able to support a family on one income.

I’m pretty damn sure we can have a reasonable cost of living without going back to archaic gender roles being mainstream.

I can’t believe it’s 2026, and I have to fucking explain this: married women should get to work if they want to. It shouldn’t matter if the couple needs the money or not. Work doesn’t just have to be about making money. What about doing something you’re passionate about, putting your intellect to use, and reaching your potential? Women deserve all that just as much as men. I wouldn’t give a flying fuck if my hypothetical husband made a lot of money. I have a fucking master’s degree. I’m not relegating myself to being a housewife. I deserve better than that.

We can make shit affordable for everyone without forcing women to be dependent on men. Those are not mutually exclusive concepts. Thanks.

[porterdavis]

Ding, ding, ding!

[fadedelegance]

A stranger told me to smile at the gym. He didn't know I was miscarrying.

A woman recalls being told to smile by a stranger while miscarrying, and why the experience reflects a common form of entitlement women face

We all know this bullshit, don’t we, ladies?

Every time that’s happened to me, it’s been a creepy old man.

Why can’t they just shut the hell up? This story is exhibit A that they have no fucking clue what could be going on in a woman’s life.

“yOu ShOuLd sMiLe!”

You should fuck off and mind your own business. Women owe you nothing.

[fadedelegance]

Women: history’s favorite scapegoat

[reneradbler]

It's very interesting to listen to history lectures that first say that there was no slavery at a certain period of time, and then follow it up with something like: "women didn't have the right to marry at their free will, property was passed down from father to son..." and so on.

you are absolutely sure that there was no slavery, right?

[femsolid]

People are extremely reluctant to use the term slavery when it comes to women's oppression. But it was and is slavery.

[thearthistorianblogoffa]

Can you please name times where woman are not allowed to own property and where udes as bredings stocks?

I am pretty sure most of times this rules only applied to rich woman.

Common woman always had to work/earn money until the 19 th centry, where the housewife was invented.

[femsolid]

2025.

Men are buying little girls and marrying them. It's called "child brides" and it is slavery. So is prostitution.

You're supposed to be a historian blog and you're not aware that women were and are sold as property. What have you been doing?

Did Men Own Women?

Women have been exchanged in trade by men since before written history—does this explain why they are unequal in the economy today?

[really4rbrowsing]

Just because women were working doesn't mean they had much input on who they married.

Can't comment on other cultures but at least in mine who a woman could marry has up until very recently been controlled by family. This has held true regardless of class. Also women weren't allowed to own property until very recently either (depends on religion – Hindu Succession Act allowed women to become direct heirs and get equal shares. Travancore Christian Succession Act of 1916 which governed the Kerala christians did not let daughters inherit until it was overturned in 1986).

[medusiad]

It also doesn't mean they were earning money. Yes, most women have always been expected to work, but they weren't necessarily paid. Slaves are also expected to work.* And even when women's work generated any kind of income, they didn't necessarily have any control over or rights to the money they earned.

To give just one example, in England, prior to the Married Women's Property Act of 1870, any income which a woman earned legally belonged to her husband. In fact a married woman, rich or poor, did not even exist as a separate legal entity.

Caroline Norton, who was instrumental in gerting this Act passed, also campaigned successfully for divorce reform. The following is an excerpt from her testimony to Parliament.

And while English women did gain some property rights in the 1870s, it wasn't until 100 years later that the Sex Discrimination Act actually made it illegal for banks to refuse to let a woman open an account without a man's signature.

Of course, this doesn't even touch on all of the unpaid work which women in nearly every time and place have been expected to do for their husbands. Including providing him with children.

*The whole premise that 'expected to work and earn money' = 'not a slave' is a pretty embarrassing argument to make in the first place. Slaves are absolutely expected to work. And indeed to earn money, albeit not for themselves. Though in the Roman world, for instance, it was also common for slaves to earn a small amount of money which they were allowed to hold and manage as if it were their own.

[hugewoman]

[fadedelegance]

I literally Googled whether any feminists ever referred to the oppression of women as a form of slavery because I felt alone in having that opinion.

[fadedelegance]

I just found out about the repulsive misogynistic waste of oxygen known as Sir Benjamin Slade. He’s so fucking misogynistic it’s like he’s a parody of himself. I mean for fuck’s sake, he said he’s looking for a “breeder”. He even has a daughter he has no contact with. He probably disowned her as soon as he found out she was a girl. If I didn’t know he was a real person, I would’ve thought he was a character created to mock real-life men like him.

But nope. Unfortunately, he’s real.

I swear, that prick wrote the book on being a misogynistic waste of oxygen. I hope that piece of shit dies alone.

Edited to add: Judging by the Google results, he’s been doing this song and dance since at least 2017 with no luck, so things are still on track for that to be the case.

[medusadyke]

academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches

[medusadyke]

"you're just scared your diploma is going to devalue" i'm afraid you dumb bitches are going to become my colleagues and drag social services to hell

[hylianengineer]

I'm afraid they'll become scientists and data that lives depend on will turn out to be wrong - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become engineers and sign off on bridge designs that collapse - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become medical professionals who don't know what they're doing - and people will die.

The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter.

[sophsun1]

The Golden Girls – 2.03: Take Him He's Mine

[jocia92]

Happy 43rd Birthday Dan Stevens!