[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
Okay, my need for Garak & cat has suddenly gone from zero to redline, like–
claws? but scales tho?
and so we get, like, kitten climbing Garak’s calf with tiny piton claws and Garak just kind of idly reaching down and scratching its head, “stop that, you’re tickling.”
and cat curled up on Julian (because of course Julian) because he’s warm and Garak doing much the same and Julian just being like fml
and Garak and cat making slow blinks at each other because affection and cat and Cardassian
and also, also cat sharpening its claws on Garak’s scales, like, on his elbow, and Julian looking over in bemusement.
“Doesn’t that hurt?”
“It’s a trifle ticklish.”
“God. Ooh, that looks like it’s got to hurt just a little…?”
“I assure you it doesn’t.”
Rrrr, the cat corroborates.
“If she did that to me I’d jump a meter.”
“I honestly do not understand how cats and Humans have managed to peaceably co-exist. There must have been some mistake… yes, my dear, you agree,” and the cat rubs her head against his finger and redoubles her pleasant skritching. “Clearly the Progenitors made an error… you were supposed to be Cardassian, weren’t you… mmm, well, we shall pretend…”
“She’s not a reptile, Garak.”
“Oh, she very nearly is… look at you, yes, you are a heartless little killing machine, aren’t you…”
I'm an emotional abuse survivor, and Ragatha's story in Digital Circus hits me like a train and genuinely, I have no idea how no one else is talking about it
I knew FROM THIS MOMENT exactly why Ragatha is the way she is. The way she pulls herself short because you DO NOT TALK about what you go through, you do not tell anyone what your parent does to you or says to you. No one gets it. It's embarrassing. It's too much.
But her torture scene in the new episode just cemented it for me.
It's always at the dinner table. You can't get away at dinner. You have to sit with your abuser, who has probably already hit their limit for the day and is looking for someone to unleash their stress at. And you have to take it, because it gets SO much worse if you get up from the table before you're finished.
All the mannequins make me wonder if Ragatha has a big family. That's an awful lot of people who have already been beaten down and aren't speaking up to defend her.
Ragatha is a rag doll because Caine can see in her mind files that she's been used that way all her life. Thats how she sees herself. She's a soft thing to be thrown about. She can stand up to rough treatment. You can fling as many knives at her as you like and it doesn't matter, because she's made of stuffing, it doesn't hurt. You can just patch her up and keep going.
But if course it hurts. Look at her.
(and obviously her mother didn't *actually stab her in the eye*, come on guys.)
But I have to go back to how Ragatha's mother is shown here, because it speaks volumes to Ragatha's entire character. It's so screamingly obvious to me, probably because I mould my own life exactly how Ragatha does, for better or for worse.
The mother looks like Ragatha. She has the same hair, the same body type.
And the whole time she's abusing Ragatha, she's *smiling.* She's enjoying it. She's exactly the type of vile bully that comes up with her most hurtful thing to say, and smiles in your face while she says it, because it makes her feel good.
THAT is why Ragatha is so accommodating. THAT'S why she doesn't tell Jax to fuck off until she's given "permission" by Pomni at the softball game (who immediately gets freaked out by her big feelings and tells her she's being irrational).
THAT is why she tries to keep the peace and not upset people. THAT is why, almost to the very last, she tries to placate Caine.
Because she thinks that if she hurts someone's feelings, *SHE IS EXACTLY LIKE HER MOTHER.* And in Ragatha's mind, there is nothing worse in the whole world than finding out you're just like your abuser. Cosmically, you might even think that's why they hurt you in the first place. Because you're bad. You deserve it.
So you make nice. You stay quiet. You give compliments. You make sure everyone is happy.
You pick yourself up and keep going, despite constantly being knocked down, dismissed, laughed at. You try your best not to set them off, not set *anyone* off, because if they freak out, you end up being the villain. And there's always that tiny part of your brain that is terrified, deep down, that you are going to hurt people in the same way you were hurt.
the actual main difference between data and spock is that data is almost completely sincere the majority of the time meanwhile spock is mostly lying or being a bitch for fun
The most dangerous thing about being a queer hockey player in the Game Changer universe is NOT being outed to the homophobic NHL its the 100% chance of experiencing an Ilya Rozanov jump scare.
like you will end the interaction with good advice and your life improved. but also it's Ilya Rosanov. he was kind of a dick the whole time. and now you owe him a favour. it's excruciating.
New boy new boy! I'm in a new campaign and I finally finished my new paladin! I also tried to step out of my comfort zone and do both armor and a pose I don't do often, both of which idk if turned out well but at least I tried.
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