irreparably queer

Bird, whichever insufferable fandom I've recently entered. Reblogs make the world go 'round. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I like angst, friendship, found family, the oxford comma, and fics where everything turns out alright after 100k words of suffering *************************************************************** Also I'm a dyke, gay, a queer adult, trans people rock

[fairfowl]

Why is it always "an even meaner lesbian" and "mean lesbians"?

What about nice lesbians? What about empathetic lesbians? What about generous lesbians? Accepting lesbians? Soft lesbians?

We're not all mean I promise

[fairfowl]

And why useless lesbians?!

Capable lesbians! Clever lesbians! Joyful lesbians! Charismatic lesbians! Lesbians who are natural leaders!

[fairfowl]

Cringe queers are the richest part of our community

Baby butches who really like star wars, trans catgirls, socially awkward twinks who may never be graceful enough to be fabulous, trans guys with weird hair, goths of many flavors

These are the everyday people who give us flavor and color. Not everyone can be a tv drag queen or a hot muscle butch on Instagram, and those who aren't, those who are loud and unapologetic, unhip and truly Queer in both senses of the word are the ones who you will meet, and often the ones who will make a difference

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[risingoflights]

these are great

i don't read a lot of fic anymore but i'm forever thinking about stephen king's 'it' where the characters went into a chinese restaurant and were greeted by a waitress wearing a kimono

[fairfowl]

Pirate characters being written by people who have never been on a sailboat let alone operated one for any length of time

Anything medical. If I have to read through a character with a fever getting piled with blankets one more time I'm gonna snap

Also stitches do not stop bleeding unless they are used very specifically to tie off (or tie together) blood vessels, you cannot surface stitch a deep wound together and expect the character to stop bleeding to death

Let along the infection risks

...Please no recently stitched wounds in warm bathtubs....

[larval-tear]

dude i think i might be The Other

[espeomnomnom]

Jack Spicer knows his shit.

[scarlct-vvitch]

grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)

rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it

[scarlct-vvitch]

free fic idea up for grabs. godspeed

[worstloki]

Alternate timeline where Loki was banished for Thor's invasion of Jotunheim and while Thor spends tears grueling over the burden of kinghood without his brother by his side Loki is living it up having fun and struggling with research grant applications with Jane Darcy and Erik

[lokiinmediasideblog]

In my humble opinion, I don't think Loki is that self-actualized out of nowhere and I think it'd make him very boring if he was. Like yes, he is less prone to physical violence than Thor, but he has millennia of repressed emotions and finding out he's a Jotun foundling to unpack. He would not be chilling and would be difficult to deal with too. I do think Thor would cause the war with Jotunheim to worsen and doing a poor job. I can see him being a sort of warrior king that abandons his post to fight with his army, and just treats his kingdom as a way to fund his armies into endless war.

[rootoftaboo]

tumblr gets tequila drunk stone holding robotniks suit and crying doodle

[bizlybebo]

so fucking evil that i don’t have the jagged pointy cartoon teeth that fit together like triangles. i deserve them

[dae-stuff]

"Can you pass me the hex driver, please?"

"Thank you, lab partner!"

[entrapdaknation]

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: I like how Dae draws faces, especially Entrapta’s face. Look how exuberant she looks!

[torturedblue]

Yo I never realized that dude called him a freak for that 😭💀

[seadeepspaceontheside]

these were the rejected ones

[iskander-tm]

I can't stop thinking about them both having burned arms.... They're inspecting each other's battle scars

[winter-wise]

Some of the 2010s-era Loki stans were annoying but some of them were very justified. They put Tom Hiddleston in handcuffs and a muzzle. Then they put him in chains and a collar. Then they had him look waifishly sad in a prison cell. Then they put him in handcuffs again. Then they chained him up again. Where else were teenage girls going to see that.

[henrymillerkismesis]

[quest-draws]

[I.D.: A five panel black and white digital comic with a supplicant and a sage. The supplicant on their knees says "Oh, all-knowing sage, grant me your wisdom!" The sage, floating ominously says "Stop taking twelve Advil a day"

"Boo!" replies the supplicant. Then the sage takes out a box of Advil and a ox of Tylenol and hands them to the supplicant. "Instead, alternate between Advil and Tylenol. They work through different mechanisms, so they are safe to take together."

"Oh!" says the supplicant, now smiling. The sage holds up a finger, saying "Never go over the recommended daily maximum for any OTC drugs. Overuse of Advil can cause stomach and liver issues; overuse of Tylenol can damage your kidneys. Always speak to a physician before combining prescription strength drugs." End I.D.]

[llavender]

Good advice, slightly backwards adverse effects

Ibuprofen (advil/motrin) can cause stomach irritation and bleeding if overdosed. Longterm overuse will actually fuck up your kidneys before it messes up your liver. Ibuprofen should not be taken with other meds of the NSAID class (like naproxen or aspirin)

Acetaminophen (tylenol/paracetamol) will also cause stomach irritation, but more importantly, overdosing will absolutely murder your liver.

[caesthoffe]

juniper blessing, a trans woman, was stabbed 40 times by a man in the laundry room of her off-campus apartment. she had stab wounds in her hands from trying to defend herself. she loved pokemon and meteorology and singing.

all of this happened in my city of seattle, a 'blue' and 'progressive' state. a 'safe haven' for trans people. her university, UW, was hosting a TPUSA event with a conservative detransitioner right after (TPUSA canceled the event themselves). how many more of us need to be killed? when will the bloodlust for trans people end? is the grifter money worth it?