From the Diary of Bernice Summerfield

Professor Bernice Summerfield, FRAS (Fairly Rotten At Scrabble), current occupier of the Proxima University Chair Of Archaeology (it's in my room, by the begonias), holder of the Martian Gallantry Medal (I found one and thought I thoroughly deserved it).

[zftw-deactivated20210327]

there’s only one way i want to end this year and that’s drunk 

[batteredoptimist]

The Doctor huffed out an offended sort of noise but he didn’t disagree with her. After all, she had a point. Instead, he shook his head, “No, I suppose I’m committed to taking you with me now.” His voice dripped with amusement - and a little bit of sarcasm. “I won’t go anywhere.”

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"Great!  I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail.  Figuratively, that is, because--"  Benny decided she should probably just shut up and get on with it.  "I'll be back in a second," she amended, before ducking out of the room to rummage around her bathroom sink for her essentials.  For perhaps one of the first times in her life, Professor Bernice Summerfield was going to make damn sure she remembered her toothbrush.

[fightingeldergods]

The Doctor thought very hard about pretending to be Ace but, let’s face it, noone was going to believe she had gotten up before three in the afternoon.

"There’s a slight problem, Bernice. I seem to have gotten Ace and my own body slightly… Mixed?" He cringed slightly, scratching his nape. "I’d appreciate a little help. I need to figure out a way to revert this before she gets up, and well… Finds out I managed to get her a nine hundred year old Time Lord as her new body." He looked at Benny pleadingly. "Please?"

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

Benny stared at Ace--no, apparently the Doctor--for a moment before snorting loudly.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  You're the Doctor."  She'd promised herself she'd try not to laugh.  Oh well, some promises were meant to be broken.  She burst out laughing, not even bothering to try to hide it.  They'd known each other for a while now.  He'd know she was laughing at him, even if she managed not to do it outwardly.

In her defense, this was too good to be true.  "So, how exactly did this happen?" she asked at last, once she could talk without dissolving into giggles again.  "More importantly, what do you want me to do? Reasonable requests only, please."  She couldn't do something as impossible as, say, try to take him seriously while he was in this state.

[fightingeldergods]

Open Starter; M!A: Body Swap with Ace

“Oh dear. Oh dear, dear. Oh dear with a cherry on top. This isn’t quite the outcome I was expecting…”

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"Doctor?  Doctor, get over here!" Benny hollered, barreling--scratch that, walking quickly, yet with as much dignity as a professor of her standing could muster--into the console room.  "Doc--"  How odd.  No Doctor.  Ace was apparently awake, though.  "Oh, hello, Ace.  Is the Doctor around?" Benny asked.  As an afterthought, she added, "Good morning. " 

Wait.  Something was wrong here.  Benny did a double-take at Ace, and then checked her watch.  Yes, it really was still morning, no doubt about it.  Something was wrong.  Something was horribly, horribly wrong.  "Ace, are you all right?"

[fightingeldergods]

Visit Original Link

- Reason #1375939270508 why I love Benny

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

We’re gonna do this thing called Top 10 TV shows, because there’s one for films. Write down your top shows and then tag at least 10 friends to do the same. (HOW WAS THIS CONSIDERED A 'GAME'???)

I was tagged by batteredoptimist.

(in no particular order) 

Warehouse 13

Community

The Middleman

Dr Who (generally the old series a little more, but the whole show is nice)

EUReKA

Becker

[I DON'T ACTUALLY WATCH MUCH TV OH MY GOD HELP I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'VE EVER ACTUALLY SEEN TEN DIFFERENT TV SHOWS. UHH. UHHHH...]

Sanctuary

Lost Girl.

Power Rangers. Deal with it.

Xena:  Warrior Princess.

TAGGING:  Whoever the hell feels like doing it. 

[ladyxtrey-blog]

She chuckled. “At least he didn’t deliberately install a randomiser when travelling with you, or at least I hope he didn’t. I never really understood why, it was to escape the Black Guardian, although it had little to no effect. We always ended up on planet Earth.”

"I knew them all. I travelled with his fourth body, the one with the teeth and scarf, and mostly kept in contact with his sixth and eighth selves. And I must admit, I’ve heard bad things about your Doctor."

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"He's not that bad, once you learn how to talk to him.  He's no worse than my students.  ...Come to think of it, copious amounts of alcohol makes both easier to tolerate..."  Benny mused on that for a moment as she knelt back down to the ground.  If the Doctor's friend was going to stick around, as it seemed she would, Benny might as well get back to work.  She could multitask.  Benny was a woman of many talents.  "Pass me that brush over there, would you?"

[fightingeldergods]

"Sometimes I forget I am supposed to be taking care of you, Bernice. What would my dear sister think if she knew I wasn’t paying due attentions to my own niece.”

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

With a great force of will, Benny resisted the incredibly strong urge to remark upon the fact that no, she wouldn't think anything because, hey, funny story, she didn't actually exist. If he'd been the Doctor, sure, why not?  The Doctor was a big boy.  John Smith... he was different.  Sweeter.  More... well, more human, actually.  And as much of a git as the Doctor could be at times, she couldn't do that to John.  

"I'm getting on well enough on my own, Uncle John. I'm a grown woman."  Even after all this time, she couldn't get used to calling him that.  Only a few weeks more, she kept telling herself.  Only a few weeks more.  "Enough of that.  How's the school treating you?"

[ladyxtrey-blog]

"Does the person you’re thinking of travel in a broken TARDIS, by any chance?" Trey asked, now taking what she considered to be a risk. "Because I really do hope so, the Doctor seems to keep some rather interesting company."

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"He does, actually, and on top of that, the git hates stopping for directions."  Benny looked Trey up and down.  She didn't look familiar, and she didn't remember the Doctor ever mentioning her--but to be fair, he didn't really talk to her about many of his past companions.  Just getting him to talk about Ace, someone she'd actually met, was like pulling teeth with him.

"Which one did you know?"  After all, Benny realized there were different versions of the Doctor running around.  "Mine's the little Scottish git.  Although, I did meet the one after that a few times.  He was much more fun.  He didn't have back-up plans for his back-up plans."  And that Doctor had been much cuter, to boot.

[outofcontextbigfinish]

I want you! Desperately!

Irving Braxiatel to Bernice Summerfield - Bernice Summerfield: The Draconian Rage (via outofcontextbigfinish)

[fightingeldergods]

Visit Original Link

The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield 1 - The Revolution

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

I’m looking for something I know when I’ll fiiiiiiiiiind it A journey that takes me far away I love the adventure I feel like a poor woman The thrill of a mystery my only release Adventure is my name Adventure is my game I wanna play with you I wanna play with you

Just going to leave this here. ~

[hezenkoss]

Standing there with his upturned collar and downturned straw hat, from which wisps of smoke still issued, he looked like a garden gnome that somebody had thrown accidentally on to the barbecue.

Bernice Summerfield on the Seventh Doctor, The Highest Science by Gareth Roberts (via pattroughton)

[selthine]

Visit Original Link

Everyone who doesn’t know the Benny song - you need to listen to this. Seriously.

[nitronineandcheetahs]

Ace grinned.  ”Are you serious?”

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"Of course!" Benny scoffed, waving a hand dismissively.  "Well, mostly.  Er, slightly.  I'm sure there was a sign.  It might have actually been a traffic sign.  Hard to tell, these days."

[batteredoptimist]

Icy eyes tracked her suspiciously but there was no real denying the look of amusement that was beginning to build up under the surface. Slowly, the Doctor trailed after her, beginning to smirk, “One for old time’s sake, eh? How sentimental of you, Benny.”

Hands clasped behind his back as he watched her pack and the smirk had eventually been paired with a lifted brow, “What if I can’t think of anyplace to go?” Oh, he was just  teasing her, now.

[fairlyrottenatscrabble]

"Oh, that doesn't matter.  Even if you did think of a place, we wouldn't end up there anyway."  Benny weighed her bag in her hand, debated internally for a moment, and sighed.  She yanked a few books out and stacked them back on the shelf with no sort of order whatsoever.  She could take care of that later.  "If I grab a few essentials, you won't sneak off on me, right?" she asked.  Hell, she was going to do it anyway, she just didn't want to have to cuff this guy to a chair until she was done.

[tipsywench]

A thought occurred to her. As alcohol was one of the three luxury items she had been unable to find a supply of in the TARDIS (the others being weaponry and duvets), it would be a good idea to stock up for future journeys.

She strode up to the bar. The barman eyed her warily.

"Do you do carry outs?" she asked.

The answer had been yes. A quarter of an hour later, Bernice entered the TARDIS with two plastic containers.

"I’m not drunk," she called, "I’m ever so slightly sloshed, though."

"I’m not your mother," chuckled the Doctor.

-The Highest Science by Gareth Roberts

Now I know what I’d do if I were a companion. Bernice knows what’s important.