ayesha🧚🏻‍♀️

22 • bengali • she/her • sameed’s jaan-e-maan

[fairyshaaa]

the desi girl urge to sit and scroll through pinterest for hours, curating your perfect bengali wedding vision board from choosing which colour palette you want to how you want the decors to look like to your dream wedding dress

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oh i have one:

Eldest daughter syndrome is knowing if you lose composure, everyone else will too so you have to keep it together if you want to upkeep the liveable atmosphere. Basically, not having a safe place to fall apart when you are that for everyone else.

[deesi-academia]

Eldest daughter syndrome is basically therapist behavior (forced due to circumstances)

[barso-re-medha]

The eldest daughter urge "to play your mom's therapist after every fight she has with dad"

[thetargaryenbastard]

me and my silly little pills and my silly sad songs and my inability to hold onto an emotion long enough to fully comprehend it and process it and i’ve been the same since i was born my sentiments slip through my fractured fingers and drip onto the dress i haven’t worn since i was 6 because i never felt as pretty as other girls

[oscarwilds]

[golden-letters]

some days im mothering the child within me who never got her words of comfort

you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine

i say to her, hugging her knees, 

it’s going to be okay, you’ll make it, you’ll be fine

[a-really-hot-caterpillar]

This barbie has severe abandonment issues and a complicated relationship with her mother

[muskaanayesha]

I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am a sponge that absorbs all the trauma of the household. Life is spilt milk and I am a kitchen cloth burnt at the edges. I am falling apart at the corners, threads coming away, rips and ripples like I am torn and trembling in an ocean of nothingness. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I emphasize with everyone. The love of my life marries someone else, and I find myself hoping that he loves her the same. My brother wishes death upon me and I toss and turn in my sleep over the tears I saw in his eyes. Life is an accidental fire and I am water. I attempt to stop a tragedy I did not start, to go blindly into a catastrophe that I cannot halt. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am silent in my needs. My father asks me what I'd like to eat and I say that I am not hungry. I will chew on my guilt and swallow my pride before I even think of asking for anything. I buy myself a sweet and nothing tastes as bitter as it. Life is a metaphor for debt and I am drowning in the desire to be as insignificant as possible. I demand nothing and nothing demands me.

[honeytuesday]

there's no language as sweet as bangla. simple words coated in sunshine and steeped in affection. dripping so generously with honey, even the saddest song becomes an ode to love. if french is the language of breathless romance, then bangla is the language of bottomless devotion. the language of tenderness so deep, you can't bear to speak of it. the language of returning home and being folded into a tight hug. warm, steadfast, and as easy as breathing.

[henceidie-deactivated20241120]

yeh doh minute badh badh "ami parchi na" "hoche na" "ita ki korchi" "wtf" "parchina ar" voices in my head get crazy loud yo.

[wrappedinamysteryy]

আমি আঁকতে জানিনা। তবুও এঁকেছি তোমায়, বহুবার কবিতায়।

I don't know how to draw. Still I have painted you, many times in poetry.

[svnflowerdreams]

me 🤝 telling people ‘i’m good’ when i’m having a bad breakdown bc i know they won’t really care and me and my feelings are an inconvenience anyway

[user-boxer]

This user feels insecure about themselves

[intersex-idiots]

am i fake or do i actually have this trauma and all of these weird disabilities that have completely changed my life

[darkacademiaposts]

"fuck you my child is completely fine" your child listens to matilda by harry styles before crying themselves to sleep

[janeaustensslut]

being the eldest daughter is holding your parents responsible for your trauma while being told you are responsible for your younger sibling and parents' trauma